A wise woman once told me, “Comparisons are cruel.” Comparisons turn us into objects. When we turn each other into objects, we create war and conflict.

We put ourselves at war with others – feeling envious, competitive, and jealous towards other women (especially those who are thinner or prettier than ourselves.) We hate those skinny b****es and hate those women who never struggle with food and who can eat whatever they want. We create a competition, where we even dislike women who lose weight, change their lives, and find newfound health! (Um, yes,I am speaking from personal experience here….gulp….)

Comparisons also put us at war with ourselves. This is when we turn our dislike of our bodies inwards, criticizing ourselves mercilessly because we fall short of some internal standard we are holding for ourselves. We compare ourselves with ourselves. I used to do this all the time – for example, I would compare my body to how it was at the same time the previous year. After having a baby, I’d compare myself to how I looked postpartum after the birth of one of my older children; I’d try on my clothes to see if I was getting “thinner” or “fatter.”

Underneath a comparison is always a “should,” a hidden belief or expectation, about how our bodies should look (or how other women’s bodies should look.)

When we stop comparing, what we are doing is escaping from the prison of our minds (the seat of those pesky shoulds) and living in reality, where we love, honor and care for the body we have in this present moment. This doesn’t mean that you can’t work towards making your body healthier or fitter or losing weight if you feel inspired to do so. But you take those steps from a different place, with a different motivation. You do it from love.

You get to a place where you can accept your body when it’s at its best, its worst, and every day in between. You also allow other women to care for their bodies as *they* see fit – and you are able to withhold judgment even if you think they “should” (there’s that word again!) be caring for their bodies differently.

That is the opposite of war – that is peace.

Warmly, Karly
.-= Karly Randolph Pitman´s last blog ..The 3 stages of healing from sugar addiction =-.

:)

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I also loved your comment on my blog about anger, I’m going to try your technique for a few of the stubborn anger stains in my life. Thanks!

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