A couple days back I set my minimum daily exercise requirement (exercise is non-negotiable!) at 30 minutes. And what have I done since then? Worked out an hour every day. Can’t promise I will keep that up but the extra 30 minutes makes me feel better and doesn’t seem to cut into my schedule. Let’s be honest, I have a very flexible schedule that could fit in even more exercise.
How does my family reward me for all my hard work? They don’t. They notice I’m going to the gym and I’ve dropped a couple of pounds. And for some reason this makes them think I have suddenly changed into someone with amazing strength and willpower. That is why they decide to bring in the temptations.
They seem to think that because I am doing these healthy things I have super willpower. That just because I am really working hard now that I will be able to ignore temptations and will be immune to the things that made me fat. I’m not.
I don’t have super willpower. I hardly even have willpower on most days. I’m not immune to temptation. I’m not a different person. I’m still the same girl, wholoves sweet things to eat.
So their new perspective surprises me. Their actions confound me. I want to scream at them that even though I am working out and eat a salad and leaner foods I’m still the same. If you put a cake on the counter in the kitchen I will eat some of it. If you put snickers in the fridge in front of my veggies, it will drive me crazy until I eat one. If you put these sweet, sugary things in my face I will eat them!! I am not super woman! I can’t resist my personal kryptonite.
When I am outside my house I am fine. I don’t buy myself sweets, I don’t order dessert, I say no to friends offering it (usually). But at home? Its free, its there, and I want it. I do. I love healthy food but I still want the sweet stuff. Mmmmm sugar, get in my mouth.
So it amazes me that my family all the sudden thinks I am a completely different person. We have had “the talk” before. I’ve asked that they please keep the sweet treats out of my sight if they are going to buy them. I know it is unfair to ask my little brother to not have these things just because I can’t. But he and my mom should be able to keep them in his room. Just keep them away from me! I don’t have some new found power over them. They still tempt me. They still will trip me up. I may have changed in other areas, but here I am still the same.