I’m out of the 240s this week finally, and just barely.
Previous Weight: 241.2
Weight Loss This Week: -1.6
Weight Loss Total: -12.2
Woohoo! I’m still rocking the 1-ish pounds lost per week. Slow, but steady. I’m trying to claw my way back out from the darkness I fell into over the last year. Moving home and gaining weight again was not the most fun period of my life. Now that I see a light at the end on this, things are turning back around and I’m sure that once I leave this place for good things will only get better.
When I think about this point in my life all I can think about is wanting to reach the point that is normal. As I lose weight I think about finally reaching a normal weight. I think about how I will feel to be normal. I wonder when I will feel normal. What event will cement the fact in my mind? What one thing will make me feel normal? Will it be a number on the scale? Will it be wearing a certain size clothes?
To be honest, though the thought “I want to be normal” pops in my head I don’t even understand what it means. I’ve never been thin, or “normal” sized. Last time I was the proper weight for my size and age I was in kindergarten when I was an adorable five year old. But as an adult I have never been even close to the recommended weight for my short stature. Sometimes I wonder if it is even something I can reach. I wonder if it will take me almost two years, or ten, or if it really is unattainable for me. Regardless, I’m going to keep trying.