I’m slowly reading through The End Of Overeating, so I haven’t quite conquered my problem yet. I’m still overeating EVERY day almost. It seems like my problem is getting worse the more I focus on it.
The main problem is the eating at night after I have already eaten 3 good meals and had my total calories for the day. Take yesterday for example, when I ate well and ended at around 1900 calories for the day after dinner. I worked out and even drank enough water. It was a good day… that is until the slippery slope of night snacking began.
After dinner I was fine. I ate enough and drank plenty of water and was full. I sat down to write a blog post and do some reading, but soon my thoughts turned to food. I wasn’t even hungry but I was thinking about eating. My brother announced he was going to get something to eat at a fast food restaurant and I asked him to bring me something back. Since he was in a good mood he agreed.
I had no idea what he would bring back for me to eat since I did not specify. As I waited for him to return I thought about eating whatever it would be. I also thought about how I would be fine if he didn’t bring anything or I chose not to eat it. I wasn’t hungry and I knew I wasn’t hungry. But I still thought about this magical food that would show up. My brain convinced me that eating would be fun and enjoyable. Sure I didn’t need it, but it would be fun! It would make me feel better! (Note: I didn’t feel bad at all, actually I felt great from working out and eating healthy all day.)
My brother ended up returning empty handed because of debit card problems, but that didn’t stop me. I had already convinced myself to eat something. So I turned to what was most convenient. Cheetos and chocolate chip cookies. Let me just say, I don’t even like cheetos. They have no taste and are gross. But I ate them and the less than delicious chocolate chip cookies. I ate them and then felt sick afterward because it wasn’t good food at all. But still, I ate them.
This morning when I weighed in I was back over 240. That isn’t hard to imagine, but it hurts to see. I know it is water retention and blah, blah, blah, but when I saw the number in the back of my mind flashed the words NIGHT TIME EATING! It is my destruction and my biggest hurdle.
I feel so proud of myself on the nights when I don’t eat anything after dinner and go to bed without snacking. I even started eating dinner later so I wouldn’t be hungry at all before bed. Somehow that hasn’t stopped me. I almost think that it is more of a habit now than anything. I’ve gotten used to eating something before going to sleep over the last year. It is a lot like the extra meal I would eat right when I got home from school in high school. I didn’t really need it but that was my habit. Now my habit is unnecessary night time eating.
I wish I had a solution to this that would stop it. I hope that by changing and moving and completely taking myself out of this house and situation that it will stop. When I stay at friend’s houses or am traveling I never do this. I don’t eat at night unless I was too busy and skipped a meal earlier in the day. The night time eating is not something I need to do and it is not something I want to do.
I wish I wasn’t posting this, but it is important that I’m honest and real about my journey – struggles included. Maybe some people can drop 200 pounds with no problem. I can’t. I’ve clearly got food issues and things I need to learn how to deal with. If I didn’t have food problems I would be awesome … I love to exercise, I love my life, etc. But food is still tripping me up and I am not going to pretend it isn’t.
I’m only going to be at home for maybe two more weeks in the next month, but I am open to suggestions about how to combat this problem. I don’t want this bad habit to come with me as I move and change my life. Any suggestions? Anyone want to call me at 10 p.m. and just say no? Anyone else conquer this problem?