My mind never leaves the subject of body image on the days I attend a body image class. It breaks my heart to see women who are beyond beautiful so dissatisfied with their bodies that it negatively affects their lives. I want to bring them a magic mirror that helps them see how other people view them. I want to break the critical, negative recording that plays in their mind when they look in the mirror. I want to give them a magic mirror that forces them to think only positive thoughts about their bodies.
It also led me to wonder once again, how did I become so comfortable in my skin when my body isn’t one that most would call typically beautiful? To be honest, I don’t know. The process took a few years and is now so ingrained within me that I don’t even know how I changed those negative thoughts to positive ones. The process was an up and down journey of recognizing negative thoughts about my appearance, realizing those thoughts sucked, and replacing them with positive ones. It still is a process now that I instantly switch the negative thoughts if they flutter through my brain.
I think acceptance of my body was the hardest and biggest factor that made the change. Once I accepted that my body was the only one I would ever get I realized I would have to get used to it. Accepting that my body would never be “perfect” unless it was perfect in my own eyes eventually led to the realization that it was perfect for me. Some people might say I have a fat ass or a flabby stomach or short legs (ok, they are hehe), but there opinion will never matter as much as my own. I’m the one living in my body and I know what it can do and how good it feels.
I never got a magic mirror or a specific moment told me that I was beautiful. In fact I don’t think I was ever called beautiful until after I called myself that. I remember the years I spent in high school thinking I was just ugly and fat because that’s what I heard from my brothers. I remember the “pretty face” comments and such, but not once did I get a comment about being beautiful. Fun, funny, interesting… those were the compliments I got. Then I started to change my life by exercising and eating right. I started to feel better about myself. I changed my thinking when I got down and started thinking about myself positively. Once I reached the point where I truly felt beautiful on my own is when I remember the comments starting to turn to pretty, cute, beautiful. In some ways I was my own magic mirror. I just wish I knew how to do that for other people.
Not pictured: apple eaten with lunch and late night snack of triscuits and cheese. These things are yummy but I forgot pictures because they are pretty boring to look at. I’m sure you understand. Hehe.
1 hour low impact aerobics
30 min yoga