The Things We Tell Ourselves

I’m feeling much better today after a miserable couple days of dizziness, headaches, and vomiting (all at different times, none together).  Thankfully I finally feel clear headed and awake, with no dizziness to speak of.  I still feel a bit weak and tired but that is more from the lack of food I’ve had over the last two days than anything else.  So hurray for feeling better!!

Yesterday I went to a lecture class here at Green Mountain since I couldn’t do any of the fitness activities.  The class was about handling holiday stress but one of the things we did and talked about stood out to me more than handling stress.  Teri asked us to write down four things we say to ourselves about ourselves every day.

ThoughtsMy four things I say to myself every day about myself were:

  1. I want to be lazy, but I can’t, I have to do this.
  2. That looks cute.
  3. Keep going, you inspire people.
  4. I am awesome.

Seriously.  I think these things.  Every day.  I didn’t share my thoughts in class because everyone else was at a completely different place than me and it felt almost inappropriate.  But I understood where and why everyone was at the place they were.  I was there myself.   Years ago my list wouldn’t have been so rosy, it probably would have been something like this:

  1. You never look good in clothes, why do you even try?
  2. No one is ever going to love you.  You can’t even get one date.
  3. You are a joke.
  4. Seriously?  That is the best you can do?

I’ve clearly come a long way in my thinking since my depression filled high school days.  I’ve learned how to change my thoughts, how to reprogram my mind to think more positively about myself.

In the class Teri made a great point: What we say to ourselves about ourselves creates an energy about us.  We will then attract those kinds of comments and thoughts from other people. I know for myself this has been true.  We create our own labels and perceptions.  The more positively I think about myself the more I get that same reaction from other people.  When I think I am awesome, so do other people.

I want to know, what do you say to yourself about yourself?  Is it positive?  Is it negative?  Have you had to change it from negative to positive like I have?

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  1. I am your first comment, yeah for me.! I would go through the whole nine yards about what I have said to myself, that it is my fault,Bla Bla and if I did better things would be better. That is not true, I do things very well, not great, but I am learning just like you, my child, that we do not have to please everyone, just please yourself and people will look at you differently. God has given me much more insight to that in the last years, mainly because of you, I see through the eyes that you look through, now I am better because of you.
    You look so very good, happy, content, relaxed and beautiful.
    Let me say how much I appreciate you, and have been blessed to have you in my life.
    Love MOM

  2. Glad you are feeling better!

    I love your post & the importance of positive self talk! I think it is really hard for people & women more than men. I know that is a generalization, but I do think women are programmed to be harder on themselves & especially with the media crap.

    I am really bad with this self talk stuff but I have gotten better. I used to never take a compliment & now I say thank you. And I do find good things to say about myself but I still do that bad negative talk too!

    You have come so far! CONGRATS!

  3. I have always struggled with this and still do. I always felt I was ugly, unlovable, unworthy, horrible, stupid, you name it, I said it. I still have days when I think that but between therapy and being cognitive of my thinking, I am really working on stopping it. It has held me back for a long time and I am overcoming it.
    .-= Jen´s last blog ..Just Another Manic Monday =-.

  4. I’m glad you’re feeling better!

    My self talk swings from positive to negative very quickly. I find the more positive things I do for myself (go to bootcamp, cook healthy meals, give myself a manicure…) the easier I find it to keep up with positive self talk.
    Yesterday I kept thinking to myself “I got up at 10 to 5 this morning for my second bootcamp! And I got through it! I am so proud of me!!”
    a week and a half ago it was a much different story… I was downright mean to myself.
    I do agree about what we put out we attract to us. In my life it’s happened time and time again.
    Thanks for sharing this with us – I always find your posts to be inspiring and thought provoking :)
    .-= Annie´s last blog ..Back to the Drawing Board =-.

  5. I think that this is probably one of the MOST important things when trying to re-structure your life/health/weight. I can’t tell you how much of the mental talk that goes on in my own mind impacts how I am doing and feeling about myself. I would have to say that in the past year I have really began a journey of silencing the negative self-talk because it does NOTHING for me. It had proven to be a very damaging way to thinking about things and I would not like to go back again. It creeps into my mind at times, but I just say to myself ‘Michelle, it’s not worth it to go down that path or Knock it off’. I feel more beautiful and confident then I used to, because I don’t equate my self-worth with what size I am.

    Thank you for writing this post. Keep kicking ass. You look and SOUND fab!

  6. Your positive thinking even works via the internet. After I saw your picture, and before I read your caption, I thought “She looks cute”.

    Congratulations! You have made the ultimate weight loss change. You changed the way you think.

    Even after losing 140 pounds, I am still very self conscious. I still sometimes look in the mirror and see my 340 pound self. Then, I think some of the negative thoughts I once thought about myself. The good news is my positive thoughts greatly out number my negative ones.

    1. There is nothing I cannot do.
    2. I am special.
    3. I deserve to be loved and treated well.
    4. There are no shortcuts to success.
    .-= Dr. Kal´s last blog ..Unhealthy Foods In Disguise (Part 3) =-.

  7. @Mom
    AWWWWW. Thanks. :)

    Thank you!!

    The first step is just recognizing the negative thoughts, so good job! You are on your way. :)

    Doing nice things or things you enjoy definitely helps make you feel better and think more positively about yourself. It is one thing that has definitely helped me! Keep it up and keep talking NICELY to yourself, yeah?

    I know what you mean about how the negative thinking can come around and you tell yourself it’s not worth it. That’s kinda what I have to do, because it definitely still happens to me where I want to think and feel crap about myself.

    You are one of the more positive people I know, and very good at inspiring others!

    @Dr. Kal
    Aww, thanks! hehe. Changing the way you think is definitely the hardest part of weight loss. Sounds like you are headed in that direction yourself. ;)

  8. Glad you’re feeling better.

    I have my good days and my bad days. I’ve been looking in the mirror lately and not being that nice to myself. I hold myself to a higher standard and realise that I’m the only one expecting me to be that.
    I’m back to being good to myself and making sure that my self-talk is more positive that negative.
    .-= Gemfit´s last blog ..A need for numbers =-.

  9. I feel like I have watched you grow up while you have been at Green Mountain. I think you are doing really well, and are mentally/emotionally in a really great place. Good job!
    .-= Liz´s last blog ..Still alive =-.

  10. Holy transformation, Batman. You’re lookin’ mightttttty cute!!! Glad to hear you’re feeling better. Sounds like you had a couple of rough days. Hopefully you’re good for the year. :)

    Your list is very similar to my list. OK, basically identical! Your ‘past life’ list is also very similar to what mine would have read (with the addition of ‘Even though I can’t bend over to tie my shoes, it’s not ‘that bad’). Crazy, crazy, stuff.
    .-= BodyByPizza´s last blog ..A/S/L? =-.

  11. “What we say to ourselves about ourselves creates an energy about us.” This is SO true. I wasn’t in the best state for the past couple years, and it was bothering me that I felt kinda lonely and was only finding crappy manipulative guys… then I went independent and decided to take matters into my own hands and really love myself, and- not a word of a lie- THAT EVENING I met this super awesome guy and things are just going amazingly well. And that’s been happening to me in all parts of my life, not just romantic relationships- when we project positivity from ourselves, that’s what we attract. When we’re thinking negative, we have a negative energy, and we’re only going to get negative energy back.

    I love your four lines that you say every day!!
    .-= Sagan´s last blog ..A Celebration of National Pomegranate Month and POM Juice Giveaway =-.

  12. Glad to hear your feeling better. :-)

    I’ve always said mostly positive things about myself. I know that I’m a special, wonderful mother, daughter, sister and friend to others. The only negative thing I’ve ever really complained about is my legs. They are short, LOL.. I wish they were longer, but this is the hand I was dealt so I roll with it!! LOL

    FYI: Love the picture!! You look great!!
    .-= Melissa´s last blog ..Good Habits Are Contagious!!! =-.

  13. First of all, let me say that you’re thought bubble is totally right in that picture. You do look totally cute!

    Second, I agree 100% with what you said about what we think about ourselves being the energy we put out there. People treat you exactly how you expect to be treated and if you’re constantly telling yourself how crappy you are, you’re expecting that people will treat you thusly. Like a self-fullfilling prophecy, people treat you even worse. It’s the world’s worst vicious circle. Congratulations on getting rid of the negative self talk!
    .-= Tara´s last blog ..Don’t Worry ‘Bout Me =-.

  14. It’s great that you’re at a place where you can be positive. I think a lot of people naturally feel negative about themselves and it’s a tough habit to break. Thanks for sharing your success. Hopefully people will take something from it and realize that they can feel better about themselves by not getting so down on themselves.

  15. I am guilty of negative self talk for YEARS. I have always used humor as defense mechanism and I always cut on myself or made myself the butt of a joke before others had the chance to. (Not that they did but why wait for it?) At the time I never considered it negative, just funny. Looking back, calling myself things like Gigantor, Tubbalicious, Jabba the Hut, etc (while they still make me giggle my rump off) didn’t necessarily help me in my journey. I try to keep those reserved but every now and then I’ll whip one out. I just try to accept where I am and know it’s not permanent. :-)

  16. Those are the testing times. Forcing us to tap all our inner resources, bring them to fore, to deal with the situation. We are many a times surprised by the strength , tenacity, grit, call-it-what-you-may, that had been hidden in us all the time.

  17. I have always been immersed in negative self-talk and am actively working on changing to positive self-talk. It is so rewarding!

  18. Ah Mary, you look always look cute, It’s great when you snap a picture and think, ‘Wow, I look great!’ as opposed to, ‘Yikes! who’s that?!’ ;-)

  19. I *love* your positive self-talk, Mary! You ARE awesome, you DO look cute, you DO inspire people! I’d change the “I can’t be lazy” to “I am full of energy” because the more times you say that to yourself, you’re going to believe it and then BE full of energy. (I think you are already, anyway!) I am so happy for you and the journey you are on… I just know that next year, five years from now, twenty years from now you’re going to continue being the awesome, full of energy, inspiring person you are now! : ) (pssst…. You ROCK! pass it on!)
    .-= healthylosergal´s last blog ..A *LOT* to be thankful for… starting with being *LITTLER* =-.

  20. MAN i came to this post late! but yay you have a lot of insightful comments!

    i love that pic of you. you are cuteness personified missus. looking HAWT btw. i love your positive attitude towards yourself. i wish it was infectious!

  21. I strongly agree with you Mary. I’ve read that we are what we think. So we must always think positive about ourselves.

    Thanks for sharing Mary:)

  22. Great post!
    People are what they think and attract what they think, i learn this thing from an article about the law of attraction and today, since several months, i learn to be more positive and too attract good things rather than bad things.
    All is energy! <3
    .-= Sushie´s last blog ..To lose 6 to 15 pounds =-.