Tiffany left an interesting comment on yesterday’s post about how to manage food cravings:
It’s funny that every single one of those things had to do with our mental state. I am blown away more every day but how much of a mental game this really all is- looks like you’ve got some good perspective! Love your blog :)
Well, thanks for loving my blog and bringing up such a good point.
This is mostly a mental game.
At least in my case it is. Probably in yours too.
Because our bodies don’t need all the food we shoved into it to get this way. There is no way our bodies were crying out for 4 -5 full meals a day, stops at fast food joints, desserts after every meal and snacks in between. No. No, our bodies weren’t asking us to do that to them. It was all in our head.
We all eat for different reasons, so I’m not presuming to know why you did it. For me, I started out as an emotional eater, became a compulsive one, and eventually began binge eating. I used food to control my feelings until eventually food was controlling me – only I didn’t realize it.
But yesterday I realized it.
Kepa and I made cookies for him to take to his shared lunch at school today. We made delicious peanut butter and chocolate chip cookies that I couldn’t eat because I gave up sugar this week. I sulked through the entire process because I was upset that we were making cookies and I couldn’t have any (while a promise to myself to give up sugar would have been broken at that point, I keep my word to others so I didn’t eat any). I was mad that they were there while I was hungry before dinner. The whole experience was miserable and afterwards I couldn’t tell if I hated myself or loved myself for not eating a single thing used to make the cookies.
After the cookie making experience I started thinking about it all. Why did I get so upset over the situation? Was eating a cookie really that important? I didn’t need a cookie. I didn’t even want one after I ate dinner. But I allowed the sweet food we were making control my mind while we were making them.
My mental state was shaky while making the cookies but I came out the other side a little bit wiser. I understand that I let food control me again. I understand that this is mostly, if not all, a mental game. It isn’t you vs. food. It is you vs. you.
For many people it’s not. They realize one day that they are overweight or obese and they decide to lose the weight. They eat healthy and exercise and lose the weight. The end. Then for the rest of us, it’s a struggle. It’s a struggle to make this happen because we are constantly fighting ourselves. Each cookie, each meal offers a new chance to go to war with ourselves to see who will win. Will the food craving side win? Will the healthy eating underdog come out on top? The struggle happens over and over again, making the process so tiring and difficult, but each time we come out a little bit stronger and wiser on how to win the next mental battle.
I know I have. I’ve learned a lot in the last couple years about myself, about eating, about controlling my actions. I’m still learning and still making mistakes but I’m grateful for the journey I’ve taken. My life is immensely better for examining my actions instead of running away from them. I’m a better person for looking into this mental game and trying to win.
What about you? What do you think of the mental game of weight loss?
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{ 38 comments }
Weight loss is definitely a mental thing. For me it is also very emotional. I always try to explain away poor eating by saying “oh i’m too busy to worry about that” or “i went through this today so i deserve a treat” but really I am letting food control me. I can relate so much this post! I am so glad you were able to abstain from the cookies and learn something new!
.-= Emily´s last blog ..Welcome! =-.
I play that game too. It sucks. The food craving often wins. I can stop the craving if I think of another reason not to get the food, such as it will take too long to go get it or it will cost me gas money/money in tolls or I don’t want to go by myself to get it. I would like to one day be able to stop myself just because I know my body doesn’t need it.
.-= Amelia´s last blog ..Going out to eat =-.
I use the money thing a lot when I’m considering buying snacks or unhealthy food. I know that I don’t have a ton of money so I shouldn’t be wasting it on stuff I don’t need to be eating anyway!
You hit the nail right on the head. Excellent post. It really isn’t about the food, it is ALL about what’s in your mind. I find I just can’t think about any unhealthy food…can’t give it any space at all in my head. Maybe later, but now? No. I’m learning that what you dwell on in a negative way will come back later to bite you in the ass.
.-= Katie Johnson´s last blog ..Garlic flavored olive oil/”How to Bake a Potato” in the Microwave =-.
Well, you KNOW what I think! lol But I’ve got to say that every time I say no to something that I’m craving I feel like it is a little easier to say no the next time- it’s like our “resistance muscle” gets strengthened- and it works vice versa.
Thanks for mentioning me friend! It looks like your winning this mind game :)
.-= Tiffany´s last blog ..Day #39: Random Ramblings… =-.
Isn’t that strange? I can’t figure out why sometimes I feel in complete control over my cravings, and sometimes I just can’t resist!
.-= Lauren @ Eater not a runner´s last blog ..fun day in the bean! =-.
This is SO true. I play these mental games with myself all the time. I know that I shouldn’t eat those cookies but yet I want them so bad. I want them for the way they make me feel in my head. The comfort of the chocolate, not necessarily because my stomach is growling and I’m hungry. Thanks for sharing this. It really helps to open my eyes.
.-= Alissa´s last blog ..Official Weigh In Day =-.
“I want them for the way they make me feel in my head.”
Man, that is the best summary of why people eat beyond hunger that I’ve ever heard. That totally makes sense to me and is exactly how it is for me.
It’s so interesting because I was making cookies yesterday as well..Anzacs..had one? Anyways I could feel the ‘taste/binge monster’ creeping in..as it always does with baking. I really shouldn’t be eating that stuff because it actually doesn’t make me feel good. Anyways I was sitting there and said to myself ‘why are these so tempting for you, why do you feel compelled to eat them when you know that they make you sick?’
The only response was ’cause they taste good.’
I then said to myself ‘Michelle, there are LOTS of things which taste good, and that make you feel good about your body’.
That was the first time that I actually started to address the mental game. It was liberating.
.-= Michelle @ Eatingjourney´s last blog ..Dress A, B or C? =-.
Never had one of those. I’ll have to try one in the future?
Congrats on addressing the mental game involved. Liberating is right.
*bangs head on table* the mental aspect is so big. It’s a constant struggle… sometimes, I wonder if it was LESS of a struggle when I didn’t know so much about health, heh. But then I wouldn’t be as healthy as I am today. I’ll take awareness over blissfully eating whatever/whenever.
.-= Sagan´s last blog ..Grocery Shopping, “Living Healthy in the Real World” Style =-.
It’s all mental, it’s all just choices. The results are physical, but the cause is mental. Good job with the cookies, I’m sure it was tough.
.-= Kat´s last blog ..Day 2 One Hundred Push Ups and Two Hundred Sit-Ups Challenges =-.
I find when I’m in a groove then it’s easy to resist but overnight the groove can vanish and then the mental games begin. It’s definitely 95% mental for me.
.-= AndrewENZ´s last blog ..Mad dogs and Englishmen =-.
I have to agree it’s totally a mental thing! If i’m not ready mentally i just can’t do it.
.-= suzanne´s last blog ..Today i tried spinning!! =-.
Great post…and yes, for me it’s all mental. In fact, I’ve been stewing over something that’s sort of related and will probably blog about it, but the short story is that, for some reason, wine really disagrees with me, all of a sudden, and I am pissed. One glass will make me wake up in the night feeling like I’m gonna hurl. I know that it’s empty calories and at times I have “used” wine the same way I have used food. I should be happy that I can’t drink it, but I am not. At least not right now.
.-= KCLAnderson (Karen)´s last blog ..What Am I Really Afraid Of? =-.
I was surprised when I started to discover how much my weight loss is mental. Changing the way I think/feel about food is the hardest part of this process for me.
It is a mental and emotional game! That is why I blog too. The frustrating feelings over sugar, just as you explained beautifully, doesn’t have as much to do with the sugar but with the emotional comfort we get from it. “Dieting” becomes a deprivation of the most common source of nurturing we have known.
Great post and Remmber It’s about the Attitude, NOT the scale!
.-= Julie – Big Girl Bombshell´s last blog ..Wonder-Full Man Wednesday with Slimmin Sam =-.
It still amazes me how much my brain fights with itself. Just this morning, I packed yogurt for breakfast, but my brain told me I should get a 700 calorie muffin instead. And all the way to work, my brain went back and forth discussing all the reasons about how one was better than the other.
I’m really working on learning how to control my thoughts about food. I’d be the same way of being mad i couldn’t have cookies, even though the whole time I know how smart I am being and how well I am taking care of myself.
Thanks for the post – great things for me to think about!
.-= Adrienne´s last blog ..The B is back in town =-.
You put it so well with the “it’s not You verses food by You verses You”! This is it! This makes so much sense to me–it’s kind of an aha. That the reasons why I am overweight in the first place are a result of an inner struggle, one I will continue to have unless I figure out what that inner struggle is all about. Thanks for the thought provoking post.
.-= Jen´s last blog ..Doing It Today! My First Weigh In! =-.
Glad that resonated. Took me a while to figure that out… everyone acts like food is the enemy… but it’s not. Food is neutral. We are the ones we are struggling with.
It’s like I could have written this post myself. It is entirely mental, and always has been for me. And the progression from emotional to compulsive to binge is me. Fortunately, I’ve managed to let go of binge. Now if I could stop obsessing… well… that would be a good thing. :) I’ve found that even if I stop obsessing over “When do I get to eat fried food again,” I still obsess over, “Man, how many servings of fruit have I had today, and should I eat more? Should I eat less? Maybe carrot sticks would be a better choice… Wait, do I need protein?” So its just different obsession. I’m trying to turn mine into an exercise obsession.
This comment ended up way longer than I planned for it to. Sorry ’bout that. :)
.-= Jeremy Logsdon´s last blog ..Thumbs Up Video =-.
It’s okay… I love comments of all sizes. ;)
Good luck creating the exercise obsession! I cycle in and out of that one.
You’ve got it exactly right, it’s almost all a mental game. As you say, there’s absolutely nothing in those delicious cookies that our bodies need, but boy do they taste good!
We tend to eat for all sorts of reasons that have nothing to do with being hungry – boredom, depression, because it tastes good, or whatever, but it’s all mental.
.-= Brandon´s last blog ..Reason #39 I want to lose weight: My heart =-.
For me it’s very much a mental thing. I want something and I either fight it or cave in. I’ve come to realize that when I fight it, by the end of the day I don’t even remember wanting it in the first place, but when I cave I am filled with remorse for the rest of the day. It takes a while to internalize the lesson – giving in to “wants” is not worth it.
.-= Hanlie´s last blog ..Thank you for the music =-.
yesyesyesyes
It is all mental for me and especially as I get older and the “giving a crap about the vessel/how it looks” becomes less and less important
.-= Miz´s last blog ..Dontcha… (guest post) =-.
Thanks for sharing. This is so helpful. In analyzing my slip ups, it seems that the mental state cannot be separated from the body, mind, spirit trio. I had to ask myself, “Did I meditate today? Did I take time to sit with my emotions and figure them out?” When I hurt myself with food, my body speaks back to me. Reminding me that I have to maintain a certain state of mind. I cannot be distracted. This is where the mental game comes in… distractions!
I used to find it helpful to be able to say that this isn’t the only time I can have these. If I still want some tomorrow, we can make more.
But eventually that started to bite me on the ass. It became, “well, I’ll just make them tomorrow anyway, so let’s have 1 or 2 or 33 right now”.
This mental game is exhausting.
You’re doing great Mary.
.-= RunningLarge´s last blog ..The midway: 30 for 30 =-.
Life is mental & yes, food & exercise are too! I have always felt that. I still go thru the mental stuff on food & it has been years BUT I have learned to master it most of the time. Exercise is the same. In fact, I was thinking of writing a post on this. My bod felt fine this morn but my mind said something else BUT I fought it & won!
Great post Mary & congrats on all you are doing!
.-= Jody – Fit at 52´s last blog ..Slimmer Legs….How to Slim Down =-.
I agree that weight loss is, largely, a mental game. It’s probably why cognitive-behavioral therapy techniques have worked for a lot of people.
I totally agree. I’ve always said this is 90% mental. You can exercise all you want but if you’re not right in your head as far as dealing with the reasons you got fat in the first place. how you use food in whatever way besides fuel, etc then it’ll never end well. It took me most of my life before I “got it” and put on my big girl panties and stopped giving food power over me. Doesn’t mean I don’t get cravings but I have to want living over existing more than I want a brownie. :-)
It is mental, for sure! Staying strong during a craving is tough! It would be so easy to cave, but then I think about my goals and the things I want to accomplish! It’s still not easy to resist the temptation, but maybe just a wee bit easier…
.-= Erin´s last blog ..Fluffy Stuff =-.
I definately think it’s largely a mental thing. I’ve put myself on a schedule to eat at certain times and have prepared the meal already. I teach and so it’s easy to have the luxury of such a schedule. That’s what has helped me with the mental aspect of what i eat. Good post.
I agree that our approach to eating is mental, especially if we happen to be emotional eaters. It may seem difficult at first to “reprogram” our thinking, but our brains are very powerful. Mind over matter as the saying goes. Good luck everyone!
I think we should look at our pet animals, if you ask most people they feed them once a day and at the most twice. Maybe we should look at how healthy they are and most of the time how happy.,!!
Mom
Look at pets. They eat on schedule and are perfectly healthy. But look at kids – they eat when they are hungry and stop when they are full. They enjoy food – if they don’t they just don’t eat. A lot of people eat when they don’t even like the food.
I have put on a little bit of weight lately and just wanting to get rid of it but have tried cutting down on fatty foods etc and exercising more but nothing is helping!!
I totally agree. I love dessert but have been able to resist it for several weeks- well a lot less than before anyway. But today, I’ve had several small things. And it was all because of the feelings (work, stress, stuff to get done, work, etc.) Love your blog!
Very interesting article and i’m agree with you: food is a mental and even all things in the life are mental game.
For me, i eat food when i read a book or when i do others activities i like, like watching tv, ect… I can’t do all these activities without eating, don’t know why..
.-= Sushie@ how to lose weight´s last blog ..To lose 6 to 15 pounds =-.
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