Failure? No, thanks.
I’m getting so close to my goals, that I’m once again freaking out. Kepa left me a comment that summed up the subtle shift in my thoughts:
The focus kind of changes from “I want to get there!” to “I hope I don’t fail in getting there.”
That completely describes how my thinking changed in the space of just a couple days. And once it changed that changed how I was feeling. Instead of being excited and knowing I would get past this seemingly impossible number of 200 I started thinking I wouldn’t. I started thinking failure was more likely than success. Which led to the weekend of fast food eating that got me off track and then the over eating of the last two days. And then the five cookies from this morning. It’s almost like I can’t stop myself from doing these things even though I know what I’m doing is making me fail.
Which is complete bullshit, when I think about it as I’m writing. I’m the only one in charge of my actions. I’m the one making this happen or letting it slip away.
I don’t want to fail. I don’t want to say that I couldn’t do this. Failure? No thanks. So what am I doing the last couple days? I don’t know. I stepped on the scale a bit ago and realized that my actions have most likely erased weeks of work. I’m going backwards with my current actions. But I don’t want that to keep happening. I don’t want to let all my hard work just wash away because of crappy feelings.
*sigh*
I’m already feeling much better, but I just needed to acknowledge this. Acknowledge and move on.
And now, because giving away stuff makes me feel better…
Giveaway Stuff
THE WINNER
Last week’s giveaway for an iherb.com shopping spree had over 200 entries. Woah! But there is only one winner. (Sorry!) That winner is:
#180 – Janette (@jsoldham with her tweet!)
Hurray! Congrats! I’ll email you and introduce you to the awesome people at iherb.com so you can get your stuff!
A COUPON
And for all of you who didn’t win – here’s a coupon for $5 off your order (which can cover at least one item …. yay freebies!). Use the coupon code LIF903 when you check out at iherb.com for $5 off.
NEW GIVEAWAY!!
This week I’m giving away another $50! (Can we make this a trend? ‘Cause it’s pretty fun. Here me companies? Giveaway things to my readers!) This time the $50 is from Dick’s Sporting Goods! (And no, FTC, I’m getting nothing out of this deal.)
“STARTING LINEUP” CONTEST: Enter on Twitter (http://twitter.com/dickssportcmo) for a chance to become a member of Dick’s Sporting Goods “Starting Lineup.” The 10 nominees with the most votes by March 31, 2010 win.
What does it mean to be on the “Starting Lineup”?• A chance to try out and preview new products• A spot on an online panel of experts for one season (for approximately 3 months)• Access to exclusive online surveys• A chance to sound off on all things sports
How does someone try for a chance to be on the “Starting Lineup”?• Follow http://twitter.com/dickssportcmo.• Vote for yourself (or someone else) by telling @dickssportcmo who should be on the “Starting Lineup” and why. Sample Tweet: “@dickssportcmo my vote is for @TwitterID because…”• Recruit others to do the same.• You can only vote for the same person once per day, but you can vote for multiple people in the same day.*Make sure you’re following @dickssportcmo or your vote won’t count!
Details: http://bit.ly/dBMkl8
Sounds cool, right?!? You should do it!
But to get the awesome $50 gift card to Dick’s Sporting Goods I’m giving away…
Leave a comment telling me something good.
Yep, that’s it. Just leave me a comment telling me something good about you, about me, about life, about anything really. Something motivating. Something happy. A story about how you will use the money for something good.
Leave a comment and win $50 of good stuff. ;)
updated to say: Contest ends tomorrow (Wednesday) at midnight. The winner may or may not be random… so make it good. ;)
Related posts:
{ 72 comments }
You’re awesome! Don’t get discouraged, you have the power to get there and not fail :-)
.-= Lauren @ Eater not a runner´s last blog ..veggie queen =-.
Something good? You mean like “You’re AWESOME!” or “Puppies are wonderful!”? They’re both true, ya know. :)
.-= Lauren´s last blog ..Monday Weigh-in and New Exercise Regimen! =-.
Puppies are wonderful! I miss having puppies around.
Something good. The crappy feelings will pass. The trick is to not sabotage yourself too much while they last.
.-= AndrewENZ´s last blog ..Weigh-in #11 2010: Sick and a fun run =-.
Mary dont think of a few days of eating poorly as erasing weeks of what you have been working so hard at. Think of the muscle you have built up exercising, your metbolism is higher because of that, thus you are able to burn those extra calories more efficently than you would have months ago. We all have hard days and weeks, use it as a learning opportunity and figure out what triggers your bad days.
You have been an inspiration to me, and clearly many others to loose weight, keep at it girl and youll reach that goal before you know it!
Thanks Sheri for your comment. I know a few days won’t ruin anything. The trick is stopping at a few days. The trick is acknowledging what I’m doing (which is why I wrote this post) and then stopping it before it really does get out of hand and ruin things. So while I don’t think this is going to ruin everything, I need to look at things and acknowledge the slippery slope I’m on and why. So yeah. Thanks again!
I guess I really never realized how quickly we can change direction and how we need to be aware of our mind sets. One of the little things that I tell myself before working out and actually through life is, “set your mind”. I am focused when I have intentionally set my mind to doing something with purpose.
I was reading on another blog by Kyle Gershman and he had a post that just connected about being victorious on an every day basis.
“As I’ve stated before on my blog and in many comments, I only have a single objective of every moment of every day…to go to bed knowing that I did my very best that day.
It doesn’t mean that in addition to choosing against a cookie, that I also ran 5 miles and did 3 Jillian tapes. It may only mean that I didn’t eat a cookie…and that alone..may have been my very best.”
I do not want to plug another blog on yours b/c I don’t want to take your visitors away from your blog but if you want it I’ll get it for you. Keep up the good work!
Oh that blog sounds great! Feel free to plug a blog that is awesome. There is enough love to go around in the blogosphere. If you get a chance leave the link to his blog!
He makes a good point about the daily focus on being the best. It’s hard to focus on being the best over a long period of time. That relates to something I read from Seth Godin a while ago about how you can’t be remarkable all the time but you can be remarkable for 5 minutes every day. It’s taking your overall goal and breaking it down to something smaller and manageable. That can be applied to sooo many different things in life, especially weight loss.
I feel you girl, going on vacation has knocked me off the wagon somewhat. It’s so hard to get back into the groove huh? :/
.-= Craig´s last blog ..The Final Perfect Ten Update! =-.
Very hard. Trying my best to get back into things but it’s taken a few days and almost completely gotten out of control. Think I’m about there though.
Reading your blog makes me feel like I’m not alone in trying to live a happy and healthier life.
Keep up the good work.
Of course you are not alone! We are all doing this!
I always seem to self sabotage around 200 as well. Been stuck rounds these parts for better part of a year. I know it’s all psychological. Would love a Dicks gift certificate. Looking for a baseball glove so I can play catch with the 4 yr old who got one for Christmas.
.-= TB-Milwaukee´s last blog ..Stale Chips =-.
What is it about 200? Geez. Awww, yay baseball!
I am going to Louisville over Memorial Day and Montana this summer. I can’t wait.
.-= Jen´s last blog ..Drip =-.
That’s awesome! I hope you have fun!
My something good is just plain old where I’m at with my weight loss journey. I’ve lost almost 16 pounds so far, which is nothing huge but my mindset is way different than it’s ever been when I’ve tried to lose weight in the past. I’ve got a lot of support and loving friends and family around me and no drama in my life and I’m just taking this weight loss thing one day at a time. I’m slowly, but surely losing the weight and I feel great about it. I’m making better food choices, exercising and lifting weights and I just feel amazing. I feel like even if I have a day or two of bad choices I have no problem getting right back on track and that ability to just put one bad choice behind me and move on and make good choices are what’s going to allow me to finally reach my goals and make my weight loss stick this time. My head is just in the game in a way that it never has been before and my life is exactly where I need it to be for me to be successful and it feels great!
.-= Tania´s last blog ..My Dilemma… =-.
Not sure if you wanted to hear about how I’d use the money in addition to my “something good”, but I’ll add in my two cents on this as well. I’d use the money to just get myself some new workout gear. I’m a big busted girl and getting adequate support to allow me to comfortably exercise is a really important thing. The last thing I want to worry about when I’m working out is being self conscious about my chest, so being able to buy a few good sports bras would be great. Money is tight, so being able to do this for myself and not feel guilty would be a great thing.
.-= Tania´s last blog ..My Dilemma… =-.
“My head is just in the game in a way that it never has been before and my life is exactly where I need it to be for me to be successful and it feels great!”
That’s awesome. That is definitely something good and made me really happy. :)
I am with you right now – my last two days have been failures. And I try not to feel bad, but I do. Setbacks are part of the process though.
My something good is that even though it’s hard to find sometimes, there is *always* some good – the trick may be remembering to stop and take a look for it :)
I had to take my dog to the emergency vet last night – everything is fine, she is fine, I am tired but fine. For me, she is my baby. Those moments of complete and utter fear were awful and I hope I never have them again – but it gave me a little shake, the absolute relief and happiness when that awfulness was lifted shook a little bit of happiness into me when I looked back this morning. I have so much good, and so much to value and love all around me. And that is a feeling I want to keep close.
Setbacks are part of the process but it’s hard to remember that.
I’m glad your dog is okay and you are feeling good.
It’s good to be able to recognise those thoughts. It is such a small shift, because they appear to be saying the same thing (let me get to my goal). They’re just coming at it from two different starting points, one of which is fun and cool, the other is fear-based. For me, I don’t know if I was on either side. I think it can fluctuate depending on circumstances. But just realising when you’re focussing on the fear side of things, it gives you a point of understanding, like “Oh, this is why I’m feeling like this, why I want to do such and such. It’s not because I’m horrible, or not worth it, it’s because I’m feeling scared about failing.” And, the way I tried to deal with it was treat myself how I’d treat my friend, and try and coax myself gently into seeing the other way.
Again, just let me know if I’m talking too much :)
And you aren’t going to fail, because there is no opportunity for failure. This is a life long thing. And just like everything else you set your mind to, you are going to conquer this too :)
I love you.
You aren’t talking to much. You are super helpful and a great support. Thank you.
I love you too!! :D
Something good is that you got into size 14 jeans! One weekend of slipping up isn’t going to undo everything you’ve been working for – recommit and don’t be so hard on yourself. No one is perfect but we’re all loveable!
Thanks Kate. I guess it seems like I’m being hard on myself, but I’ve gotta draw the line somewhere. I love myself and am gentle when I mess up, but when it happens over and over and leads into territory where I’m binge eating… then I need a little tough love. So yeah, it’s not being hard on myself, it’s just being firm with what is okay and what is not okay. But thanks for your comment! :)
I truly believe that success in life is dependent upon your attitude. When you think you can do something, it makes it that much easier to achieve. I have been a runner for a few years now, but I never really went over the 6 mile mark. I’ve done 2 10K’s but mostly stick to lesser distances. However, I recently signed myself up for a half marathon. I have moments of doubt – can I do it? However I see myself crossing that line. I know that if I’ve run 3 miles I can run 6 and if I’ve run 6 I can run 9 and if I’ve run 9 I can run 12. Of course, I back this with a few weeks worth of training, but my mental state helps. So on that note, if I won the $50, I would most likely get some running gear :) Keep up the positive thinking!!
Positive thinking is the best! That’s why I needed some good comments like yours to get me back into the right mindset. :) Thank you for sharing. I have no doubt that you will be able to run the half marathon.
Well, you aren’t failing, you are just delaying the Winning. You have come so incredibly far. How cool is that? Get back in the game. Don’t waste time gleaming on the why me’s and why did I do that’s. You can do it.
Cheers,
Missa
LosingEthel
.-= Missa´s last blog ..Week 9 Weight Loss: 10% Down! =-.
LOL. Delaying the Winning. That’s the best thing I’ve ever heard. I know I’m taking the super slow route to weight loss, so that kinda sounds like it should be my theme.
“Delaying the Winning” <— truly an awesome way to put it! I often wonder if we prevent ourselves from moving onto new chapters in our lives because we have spent so long writing our 'story' and believing in what has been written thus far. Sure, it's not all puppy dogs and lollipop, but it's familiar and there is comfort in familiarity even if it holds us back from reaching or even exploring our full potential. Put up the good fight, Mary. Even if who you're fighting is yourself. You'll eventually break those walls down. :)
.-= Rachel´s last blog ..What a Doozie! =-.
Man, you get me. Thank you.
Mary, forget about what was & think about what is & what is going to happen now that you realize that YOU WILL NOT FAIL! Don’t do the tomorrow thing.. TODAY IS THE DAY! You live life to the fullest in so many ways & you can take this wonderful part of you to continue on this successful journey to a healthier life.. you & Kepa!!!! Mary can do it!!!! That is the good thing I have to say.. well, along with what I say about you all the time.. that you are so full of life & you don’t let anything stop you. Keep those steps going forward!
As for that $50… I would change about my 12+++ year ole leotards for real workout clothes! :-) That would make me smile big time!
.-= Jody – Fit at 52´s last blog ..A New Workout Option – Beaming =-.
Thanks as always Jody. 12 + year old workout clothes? Geez!
Hi Mary, here is something good. We tweeted yesterday about falling off track, and I really fell off bad! But today, 100% back on board, feeling more like myself and the sun is shining, spring is coming!! Talking to you and the others made it better!
I think knowing I wasn’t alone really helped me recover today!
So.. Thank you!
:-)
Julie @jules23
That’s great Julie!! :) I’m glad we all could go through it together and help each other out.
Hey Merry. What are you doing to get through this slump? Last week I hit a rough patch at work, and I can’t seem to get myself going again. :P
Posting this today and having people tell me good things in the comments really helped. Getting rid of the crap I was eating helped. So cleaning up my environment then my head was my way to get out of it. I’m feeling a lot better now because of it. Hope you figure it out at get yourself back on track!
Keep at it! If you’re having problems keeping your focus try not to focus on the failure and where its going to take you, but on the success instead.
Have you tried using positive affirmations in the mirror? It may seem dumb at the start but if you do it a couple of times you should notice a difference in your confidence.
Also here’s a link to some free affirmation software you can put on your computer. It flashes positive messages on the screen as you work.
http://www.EscapeFromFat.com/lose-weight-handbrake/
Hope it helps.
.-= Barry´s last blog ..Workout Fat Burn – 3 Ways to Skyrocket Your Post Workout Fat Burn =-.
Thanks for the suggestion, but I’m not sure that’s my thing. It’s less confidence in myself, more bad environment. But thanks! You have great suggestions!
You’re doing great! Don’t give up!
.-= Alissa´s last blog ..A Good Monday =-.
Give up? Never. Slip up? Yeah. It happens.
Ooh. Something good? I lost my voice 4 (!!) days ago and this weekend
my Autistic daughter was able to look the Barista in the eye and order
iced tea for me. That was HUGE for us!
Aw, Carmen, that’s great! I don’t know your daughter but I’m proud of her!
There’s too many good things about you and me for me to just think of one. So I won’t, because I don’t want to limit it to just one thing.
But one good thing about life? Getting that random genuine smile from a stranger when you walk down the street. It just makes my life better when I know somebody else is also in a bright spot.
I’ve sabotaged myself three times. I was less than 10 pounds away from losing 100 once, but that seems so long ago now. But hey, life is a work in progress and you can’t give up, even when you have some down times. You’ll get there :) And we’ll all be here to support you (best thing is you’ve got Kepa to keep you motivated too!) So stick with it. Put on those size 14 pants every day. Every single morning. Then you’ll remind yourself how far you’ve really gotten.
.-= Jess´s last blog ..It’s TOURNAMENT Time! =-.
That’s a GOOD thing! I like to smile at random people, so it makes me happy to know that they like it too. ;)
I’m not giving up. It might take me forever, but giving up isn’t really an option. Thank you for being supportive and keeping me motivated!
Thanks for the opportunity! I’d say smiling is good, laughing is good, fresh air is good! Recently the most simple things make me happy and I could go on and on and on! If I win this giftcard(I’d get up and do a happy dance)I’d want to share it with my two sisters so we could all buy something for a little less! That sounds good :)
Those are all good things! Happy dances are good too! :)
Welcome to my last 1 1/2 years. After getting down to a healthy weight I freaked out and gained 35lbs back..why? ’cause I didn’t think I could actually stay ‘skinny’ and I didn’t recognise my body’.
It’s weird being overweight/struggling with weight etc. Last night i binged and it was like going back for make-up sex with someone. You want it..at least you think you do..and afterwards it’s so not what you thought it would be and it didn’t leave you happy.
The thing is…is that you have to shift from the ‘dieting/losing weight’ mentality to one whereby you believe that you ARE that person who is under 200lbs. I struggle with the same thing. Will I EVER be binge free? Healthy weight ranged? In a relationship? Overseas nurse?
It hit my last night..that you are what you believe. If you believe that you’ll freak out when you get to 200lbs..you will. If you believe that you’ll get to 180lbs…you will.
Relax and remember that you wont fail, unless you let yourself.
.-= Michelle @ SugarWand´s last blog ..Day 12: Re-Labeling Yourself =-.
Ah, so much to think about. It’s hard to change how you think about yourself. It’s hard to be one person for decades then decide – nope, I’m going to be a totally different person. It needs to be done, but doesn’t it seem hard?
Yeah it seems damn hard. But you know what’s even harder…knowing that in ten years you be saying that it’s hard. I just don’t want to drag myself through this sh-t that I’ve been doing. I don’t want to stand back in another decade and be saying ‘it’s even harder now..why didn’t I do something about it 10 years ago?’
Thanks for being open. It’s helping me.
.-= Michelle @ SugarWand´s last blog ..Day 12: Re-Labeling Yourself =-.
Oh, yes. I don’t want to hit 30 and realize I never changed my life, I never fought back even if just fighting myself. I’ve already drug this out for 6 years. I need to finish it.
Mary, here’s something good: I relate SO much to this post and to the fear you describe. It seems like every time I am near a milestone or have just reached one, that I go a little crazy with my eating and then teeter-totter on the scale. And with only 15 pounds to go until I reach my goal, I am every day fearful that I won’t be able to do it, or if I do, it won’t be all that I’ve hoped.
BUT, who cares about the scale anyway! I just ran 11 miles this weekend! Focus on those good things, and you will make it!
Yeah, I wouldn’t even worry about the scale if I was you. You are freaking killing it. Running 11 miles? OMG. I am so proud of you. You rock.
OK, commenting on your post…You can do this. I believe in you. Trust me, I know about these things ;) We all stumble, and yes, sometimes we fall. But you can just pick yourself back up and keep on going! I have struggled my whole life with the fear of failure. The other day I had an epiphany…I am afraid of being great! (hmmm, possible future blog post there). It is just one more thing to overcome I guess. You can be great, I can be great, it’s OK to be great, or it’s OK to fail an keep on trying! I understand deeply how frustrating it is when we undo our own hard work. But you are awesome and amazing and you will do it!!! Look into my eyes (virtually of course)…YOU GOT THIS.
.-= Kat´s last blog ..All Things Vitalicious Review * * * * * 5 Stars =-.
We can be great. I’m trying to learn this and believe it.
Thank you Kat!
Don’t freak out…you WILL do it! I know how you feel. We all have good days, and bad days…but you are determined & you will make it happen. Keep your eye on the prize & good luck!
True that. Good days and bad days. Thanks.
The scale is a pisser, ignore it. its all about your body.
LOL. I don’t care all so much about the scale. I care about what my eating is doing to my body. Which isn’t good.
Congrats Janette!
I’m glad you had this realization Mary. Now that you’ve had it you can say goodbye to those feelings of self doubt and barge your way through that elusive 200 mark!
.-= Josie´s last blog ..Final Tally for Tomorrow =-.
YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hello. i’m a new reader and i just happened to come across your website. this entry. girl i feel you. i’ve been there again and again and again. i myself am trying to loose weight and when i finally was close to breaking the 240′s, i got scared and headed straight to albertson’s and bought me a bag of doritos and some hershey symphony bars.
we’re all human and we break down & give into our selfdoubts and insecurities (i sure as hell have)… but it’s up to the individual to get back up and keep moving forward. and it seems that you’re well on your way with acknowledging the problem. that is usually the first step.
keep at it and i’m rooting for you, so many people are!
get out of the 200′s & say hello to the 100′s!
Hi Bee! Thanks for commenting. :)
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I know I need to take responsibility and get going again. It’s up to me. Thanks for your support!
Mary I so admire your honesty and willingness to look at yourself- you have become an inspiration to many of us who have been afraid to even look at the truth about ourselves let alone take action to change. You’re doing great!
It’s amazing how a little shift in thought (“I want to get there!” to “I hope I don’t fail in getting there.”) can create a whole shift in attitude that results in a shift in behavior which results in….. Oh what we do to ourselves!
My latest beliefs center on “Fake it ’til you make it” or “act as if”. Put more simply…make a list of a few statements that support the positive thought-easiest to do when you’re in the positive head (before the monsters seep in)- write them down in visible place. Write plan of action in short, simple, positive orientation-(WHAT TO DO not WHAT NOT TO DO)very do-able steps that follows the thought- again done before trouble arises. Then when the scary twinge happens, you have a plan that starts with reinforcing THOUGHT and there’s simple STEPS to take and you ACT AS IF you believe and soon it becomes self sustaining until the next monster pops up, but you have tools that work for the time being.
Good luck…you’ll get there- it’s a new place and new places can be exciting even if they’re scary.
Holly
Thanks Holly. It’s sometimes scary to look at myself and what I’m thinking because it’s not always perfect. I wish it was. But at least it’s helping me and some others. ;)
You are the second person to talk about positive affirmations and the idea of faking it until its real. To think you are a new person until you become one. Interesting. Very interesting. I’m going to think about this more.
Thanks!
I am changing my life, I quit my job and becoming a personal trainer!! It is good, because a negative situation pushed me out of my comfort zone and into pursuing my dream!
I am a bit nervous because come Monday, I am not gainfully employed, but have started an internship at a gym and KNOW that with my new venture and where ever my new job will be, I will be HELPING people and making a difference in lives. That is the best and only way to live!
The something good about myself is that I had the courage to make the change and that I will be able to uplift others, it’s one of my strengths!
.-= Mary @ fit this girl´s last blog ..Restore: holistic healing event =-.
I could buy a nice new pair of running tights with $50. Running? Why is that good? I just picked up running a few months ago and am training for a half marathon. Training is going much better than expected and I have the potential to finish right around the 2 hour mark. Now that is GOOD :)
It’s almost summer! Sort of, haha.
something good: green food coloring.
something good….Today is Wednesday and the day after next you will be getting a big old hug from me!!
.-= jen (@bwJen)´s last blog ..Perect 10 – final post!! =-.
I find myself reading your blog more often and you remind me of myself a few (ok, about 10) lol years back. I actually lost about 100lbs when I was your age and have kept if off since then (although I hate to tell you it’s a daily struggle).. until now. I had a baby, which is a good reason in some ways to be heavier, but at the same time battling my inner demons once again. Anyway, I need new sneakers cause I have had the same pair for about 3 years and since baby stuff ain’t cheap, it would be nice to have a gift certificate to spend on myself!
I’ve always said this journey is 90% mental and it’s so true. Nothing anyone says can really make you push through, ya know. It’s like one day it’ll click and the feelings won’t be an obstacle. I just hope that time for you is now and you’re not like me and have 10 years on you before it clicked and I said ‘screw you’ to emotional eating! I know you can.
Say something good. We are 3 and 6 weeks away from great, well deserved vacations! WAHOO!!!
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