This morning I woke up and before I could do anything else my mom and brother told me they were going to play putt putt. I had to go because I really like putt putt (it reminds me of playing putt putt with Kepa!). So before eating breakfast or doing anything else other than throwing on some jeans, I went to go play putt putt!
Because I won, I had fun.
There is something about me that likes to be good at things. I love when I do well at putt putt. I won the first game (we didn’t keep score the second time) and it made me really happy. I like to win and I hate to lose. I admit that I always want to win. I’m super competitive and hard on myself when I don’t do as well as I want.
I’m competitive even though for many years I convinced myself I wasn’t. Because I was morbidly obese, it was hard for me to compete in anything physical. I couldn’t keep up and I couldn’t win. So I quit trying and just told myself I wasn’t competitive and that’s okay.
I never realized that I transferred that competitive nature to school. Because I couldn’t beat other people at sports (and stopped playing my sophomore year of high school) I decided to dominate my classes. I was smart and in that arena I could compete. I made sure I never made anything less than an A again and graduated near the top of my class because of it. School gave me a way to compete that wasn’t physical, and I took full advantage of that.
But once I started losing weight and getting in touch with what my body could do, I started getting competitive at physical activities. I started wanting to be the best, or at least be good at everything I did. I wanted to win games, to be great at fitness classes, to be strong and competitive in everything, even things like putt putt. Even though I always have fun at everything I do, I really can’t play “just for fun.” I always am trying to win.
When I made the decision to postpone running until I lost more weight, it was really hard for me. I don’t like to admit I can’t do things or that I’m bad at something. When I was running I wanted to be better and faster than anyone I was running with, even if my body wasn’t physically capable of that. My competitive drive makes it hard for me to accept my body’s limitations.
I’ve wondered for a long time why my competitive nature hasn’t ever applied to losing weight. It has when I’ve been involved in a challenge (like the challenges that jumpstarted my weight loss) but for the long haul being competitive doesn’t work. I’m not competing against anyone. I’m just doing it for myself and I’m the only one who will benefit. Having a competitive nature only gets you so far. Any initial push only gets you so far when you are losing weight. In the long haul commitment, habit, dedication take you farther than anything else. I’ve got those too, so I’m going to be fine.
But still. I like to win. (I’m considering signing up for adult kickball if a friend does it too. That could be a recipe for disaster. And hilarity.)
Are you competitive? Or do you like to do everything for fun?
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I’m competitive, but only with myself. I like to see improvement, but I have no interest in competing with others. Not sure why, I’ve always been that way!
Lauren @ Eater not a runner´s last blog ..headache-y
That’s a good way to be, I think. :)
I’m very competitive; it’s not a good idea for My Hero and I to play games with each other because we’re each very competitive.
But I’ve notice in recent years that I usually don’t have a stake in a game other than to:
* have a good time
* laugh with friends or family
* teach a child good sportsmanship
So maybe I’m growing as a person after all. Giggle.
Lee´s last blog ..Savories, Chocolate and Water: What More Could You Ask For?
I’m competitive in video games and certain sports (depending on who I play with) and more so with guys than girls. But when it comes to weight loss and running, the only person I compete with is myself. I want to best my personal record and get to my healthy weight for me (and my family) but it’s not a race to see who finishes first because I probably won’t ever finish first at a race (unless I’m the only one running it). And I’m ok with that because knowing that I finished is the most important.
Jess´s last blog ..Day 71: More Than Just a Number
I’m way more competitive with guys than girls. Like, I could care less about girls, but I want to beat the guys. It’s because I have brothers. Haha.
Losing weight isn’t a race. True, true.
it drives my husband nuts that I turn everything in to a competition and get mad when I don’t win :)
Jordanna´s last blog ..The Fat Kid says Goodbye!
I’m massively competitive. Everything you wrote here was like “yup…that’s me.” I try to keep a lid on it in some situations, but if I’m playing a game or challenging myself to do something, damnit I want to win! I think that’s why I ended up scheduling my first 5K for the exact week I’m scheduled to be finished with my C25K program. If I can’t run a full 5K by the end I’ll feel like I failed.
Lauren´s last blog ..My First 5K!
Aw, please don’t feel like you failed if you can’t!! I’m sure you will be able to because you are freaking awesome and all, but failure? No way. Hehe.
I really am competitive. It is currently pissing me off that a friend who started Weight Watchers a week after me has lost four pounds more than me right now.
Heather´s last blog ..Orange Pomegranate Shrimp
Haha! I could never be competitive with weight loss. I was before but I figured out that I’m losing slowly and that’s okay with me. It took a while but I had to get over the fact that other people lost faster and more than I did.
I actually made an effort to stop being extremely competitive. I’ve realised that I had to win at everything because I felt like such a failure being obese. Now I’m a bit more of well balanced individual. :)
AndrewENZ´s last blog ..Weigh-in #15 2010: Weekend problems
I have a feeling I might need to do that.
I tend to be competitive. But you are so right, while it can give you a needed boost now and then it isn’t going to solve everything in the area of weight loss. I enjoy little challenges on blogs or with my sister now and then. But consistency is key. If only there was a most consistent award? LOL.
Kat´s last blog ..Runapalooza Day 1. Beginning Runners
I am competitive sometimes, but mostly just with myself or my hubby. I found that I was comparing myself and my achievements to others too much. (So and so loses faster than I do, they run faster, they run longer, they lift heavier weights, they make more money, etc). I decided I could only compare myself to me and that is how I make improvements – and learn that it is okay that I don’t want to do something. Like yoga. :D
Lori (Finding Radiance)´s last blog ..The Great Veggie Experiment: Parsnips!
If I’m not competing, I don’t compare. Does that make sense? My competitive nature is very much in-the-moment-this-is-a-game-I-can-win kind of thing. It’s never something that extends much outside of that. I don’t compare my results to other people if I’m at a different point in life. But stuff like putt putt, races, games? I wanna win!
Am I competitive? Yes, in certain things. I like to be good a things (including miniature golf!). Am I competitive with myself on my weight loss journey? Yes. Why? Well, perhaps because I see myself “winning” when I reach my goal. I keep telling myself that I am actually winning each day that I am on my healthy lifestyle journey.
KK @ Running Through Life´s last blog ..Obsessed with your weight loss?
I am competitive. I wish I weren’t, but my husband would say I was lying if I told you I wasn’t! :)
I don’t know that I was competitive on my weight loss journey, but I certainly wanted to succeed.
Diane Fit to the Finish´s last blog ..Owning Your Plan
Yeah, I’m not competitive with my weight loss journey, because honestly who is there to be competitive with, but I do want to succeed. Gooooood point.
My only competition is what I did previously. It just works out better for me if I focus on what I did the time before, whether that’s measured in days or games or attempts. Besides, I’m quite content being mediocre at most things. Except smiling. I strive to excel at that. :-) Oops, I mean :-D
Cammy@TippyToeDiet´s last blog ..Rambling about Designing Women
I’m sooooo competitive, obsessively so and I confess, not a good loser. There are times I do things just for fun but I like being better and tend to avoid the things I suck at, although running has been an exception. I’m super slow and I still love it.
Alison´s last blog ..Why do we have to have Mondays?
I at least try to be a good loser. I’m not always the best at appearing happy to lose, but I try.
I never understood how “being the best” at something and “having fun” doing something were mutually exclusive. I play bridge (yeah, I play with a bunch of old ladies, and I love them all), and if I’m not learning or playing at the top of my game, then I’m probably not having fun. I definitely get where you’re coming from.
Sorry to hear you chose to stop running, but it sounds like it was a good choice. I haven’t been keeping up with your blog this past week: have you considered walking or speed walking so it doesn’t mess with your knees as much?
They aren’t mutually exclusive.
It was the right choice for now. I’m not a speed walker but I do use walking as cardio along with biking and elliptical.
Yep, I’m Miss Competitive … I’ve always called myself “quietly” competitive, I don’t think anyone meeting me would guess I was ;) I always wanted to win running races at school, I always wanted the best marks … I did target shooting competitive for quite a few years, and now I’m running, I know I’m not going to win a race, but I’m always striving to that next step … beating my time, getting close to the sister I’m closet to beating …
The thing I work hardest at is not using my kids as competitive fodder … they do very well in most of what they do and I have to stop myself from asking if they got better than so and so, or what group they are in school etc, because reality is, I can’t use them to make me feel good :)
So yeah, competitive? Definitely. Good? I think it is most of the time, but got to be careful with it :)
Lisa´s last blog ..The Great Forest Half Marathon
Oh, I’m “quietly competitive” too! I don’t think many people know how competitive I am at things (well, until now).
Very similar to Andrew, prior to losing the weight I had these little pockets of dominance in my life, school, like you, and a few other things, later work and my house being spotless, etc. I ruled the world there to compensate for being such an utter failure in weight loss and fitness. Previously, my identity was very tied into what I did well. Losing weight has helped me find meaning internally instead of seeking external validation all the time. It’s still there but it’s a dull roar now.
I guess so but mostly it depends on my mood and the activity. With my husband I’m crazy competitive b/c it’s so much fun to beat him. When I’m sparring in taekwondo I’m careful b/c I don’t want to get hurt. I do enjoy friendly competition.
Jenn´s last blog ..An introduction to ladders?
Hehe, I know about your competitive nature :) That’s part of why I love you though. That you’re always trying your best.
And yeah, being competitive in regards to weight loss just leads to unhealthy practices, I think.
I can’t wait to play Putt Putt with you in Memphis!!! FTW!
Kepa´s last blog ..I’m Trying
Yessss. I like that you appreciate this particular characteristic. :)
Yeah, putt putt! They were redoing one course when I was there. But they have three. And a driving range. ;)
I joke that I need to be MORE COMPETITIVE—but it is for sure the more truth is said in jest.
entirely.
Im simply not by nature.
Miz´s last blog ..6 personal branding tips.
I think being competitive is also a perfectionism thing–at least for me it is. I stopped running too. Because I wasn’t good at it, it hurt, I was slow, I had poor endurance, etc. But I dislike quitting more than I dislike being “not good” at something. So I studied form, learned about pacing, listened to my body, learned how to run and not hurt afterwards (especially at 230-something lbs!) and tried it again. Now I’ve learned to ask myself WHY I don’t like something. Is it because I’m not the best at it? If so, I give myself permission to be “just okay.” And now, that’s just okay with me :)
Tina´s last blog ..God Said “Ha!”
Such an interesting post Mary! I always wanted to be good at something, win at something when I was younger & heavy.. made me feel better about myself & more so, that others might think better of me if I did win at or was really great at something. Even in my fat days, I was always decent at physical type things. Now, it is the gym. I feel great when I am there & want to be the best I can.. now if I felt as good outside the gym as in it!
Jody – Fit at 52´s last blog ..Mental Muscle – Jack Sh*t Talks FITness
That’s a good point. Winning/being the best makes you feel GOOD. We all want to feel good, right?
This seems like a direct response to your last post! It’s hard to treat yourself based on the good things if you know you can do better. I’m definitely competitive — with myself and others. When I run a race, I always look at who beat me in my age group. But I’m trying to move away from that because even if I just compete with myself, I think it’s inevitable that I’ll eventually lose (80 year old Usain Bolt might be fast, but he won’t be as fast as 20 year old Usain Bolt was). And when I do start slowing down, I want to be proud of myself as long as I’m still giving 100%. So I need to break my own competitive spirit.
Not that competative.
I guess that I have had just enough time on the couch to realize that I am o.k.— winning or not.
Thanks Mary!!
WeighDownSouth.com
Rob Dyess´s last blog ..SHE NAILED IT!!!
I am competitive but I like to keep that a secret. Really I hate to lose and am probably a sore loser but I am pretty private when it comes to things like that. I usually outwardly act like it’s nothing when in reality it’s the total opposite.
Ooh mini golf!! I never did get to go play mini golf when I went to san diego the other month. Oh well. Maybe I can find a friend with a car to bring me one day. I love how you call it put put. That’s what my family who lives in MA calls it.
I’m very competitive too. If I know im bad at something, then I don’t bother. Like bowling. I am SO BAD at bowling I don’t even care. Mini golf it’s a toss up. With board games, im super competitive. Or exercising, or grades in school. Or whatever. Most stuff in life. Even on my first yoga class I was comparing (ooh look I’m more bendy than them and its just my first time!). Lol. Often, if im bad at something, I just wont do it. Like singing. I refuse to sing in rockband. Cuz I have a bad voice. I think im too competitive for my own good at stuff that doesn’t matter (and I always have to be right). But I still cant imagine being one of those people who says oh well it’s just a game we don’t have to keep score it doesn’t matter who wins. OF COURSE IT DOES! (you don’t want to finish this game? Ok but you have to admit that since you quit and I’m ahead, that means I won, right? Because if we kept playing, I would have won.. So I won? Right? Yay I won!! I won!!)
merri´s last blog ..83030132 [Flickr]