I was a bit cynical in my review of The Secret, but I have to admit something…
It really changed my thinking.
After reading the review you probably didn’t get that feeling, but it did. I’ve felt a major shift in my mindset in the past few days. It’s something huge and something that I know will bring about some good weight loss success. Want to know what that shift was?
I started thinking of my future healthy self.
Sounds pretty simple, right?
But for me it wasn’t. For the longest time I’ve been trying to lose weight but I haven’t been able to get past 200 lbs. For the longest time I’ve thought things like “I can’t even imagine what I would look like under that weight.” “I can’t set a goal weight because I don’t know what I’ll look like in the future.” My inability to see, to comprehend myself as a smaller person, has been one of my biggest mental stumbling blocks. It’s been a lot easier to stay the weight that I am or above it because I know what that’s like. I know what I look like and feel like and what size clothes I need to buy. Anything under than 200 is foreign, and slightly scary, territory. When I’ve tried to picture it I’ve gotten scared or confused and often self-sabotaged myself so that I wouldn’t succeed.
Although I don’t *totally* buy into the philosophy in the secret, I figure there might be something there about attracting what I think about, since that has happened to me to a certain extent in my life already. I also think that there might be something to the idea of how doubt can attract the bad easily. It’s quite possible that my inability to see, or even try to see me as a smaller person has kept me right where I am. And since that’s a possibility, I might want to change that.
So I have. I changed how I’m thinking.
I am now thinking I am thin and healthy and strong. Already. I don’t wake up and say, “Oh crap, I’m fat again today.” (Not that I did that consciously before.) I have decided to take a much more proactive approach to thinking positively and forward. I am now consciously thinking “I am thin and healthy. My body is strong. It’s ready for this day and lots of activity.” I am thinking the thoughts about my body now that I want to think about it when I’m at my goal weight. It’s only been a few days but I much prefer this to the old way of thinking about my body in terms of it’s past reality.
I suppose it might seem a bit delusional to some people (and slightly to myself) to think about myself in a way that isn’t accurate at the time I’m thinking it. I’m thinking about my body in future terms that don’t exist yet. But I have the feeling if I think these things constantly I will be better able to bring them into reality than if I continue my life thinking “Oh, I want to get to a healthy weight but I don’t even know what that looks like for me or if it’s possible.” I know that if I think the thoughts “I am thin and healthy” long enough I will eventually make them a reality. (Note: when I use the word thin I use it in the context I think…not what most people use it as. Thin for me isn’t really thin for most people. Just a note.)
I feel like this shift in thinking is something that needed to happen for me to continue and to reach my goals. It’s something that I’ve been resisting for a long time because real change like this is kind of scary. For me almost this whole process is mental and a big change like this is something that is another step in the process. I’m not there yet but I’m starting to at least imagine my future self. I’m imagining and living my life now the way I want to when I’m smaller… and I think in return my body will follow my mind’s lead. And that’s a big step and a huge shift in thinking for me. Here’s to all the hard work and changes to come after this shift in thinking.
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{ 40 comments }
I don’t think it’s delusional at all. You’re just making a conscious effort to shift your thoughts in a positive direction and in doing so, you’ll feel better.
.-= Emily´s last blog ..Permission to be Selfish =-.
Good to know I’m not delusional! I think the positive direction will help. :)
I’m a huge fan of The Secret and positive thinking in general!! I’ve definitely seen the effects of the laws of attraction in my own life and I think my biggest thing is…why NOT? Like why NOT think wonderful, delicious thoughts?! Even if it doesn’t help…wait, actually, how could that NOT help your life in some way!? :)
Cheers to your mental shift!
.-= Rachel Wilkerson´s last blog ..I Blog Hard: Part I =-.
Why not… EXACTLY. I think when I read the book and realized some of those things had already happened for me it’s like, why not try it for this? It’s not like it will hurt me. All it can do is bring me good things. :)
Thanks!
I agree, it’s not delusional. It is impossible to lose weight if you don’t get in the right state of mind. Once you conquer that you’ll be set! Keep thinking positive and I know you’ll reach your goals! Great post!
I think you are right about it being impossible if you aren’t in the right mind set. Hopefully this is the right one. ;)
i dont think it is delusional at all. i am a firm believer in the secret! although many are skeptical, i believe there is something to it. i haven’t read the book but i have read and heard a lot about the book. also, marshall read a book called the law of attraction which has the same basis. we are both definitely believers that the way you think=the way it goes.
loved this post!
I like that so many normal people believe in the law of attraction and think it works. I think The Secret was a little extreme for me but I definitely agree there is something about life following what you are thinking. :)
As I said the other day in response to your original Secret post, the law of attraction is working all the time whether we believe it or not…whether we’re actively “working” it or not. So why not work it??
.-= KCLAnderson (Karen)´s last blog ..A Double Whammy: Part 2 =-.
As a man (or woman) thinketh… http://scriptures.lds.org/prov/23/7
.-= Micah´s last blog ..THINR – Stop Emotional Eating =-.
I will admit, at first it seemed to err on the delusional side, but it started to make sense after reading through a few times. It seems like this conscious shift in thought may allow you to stay present rather than worrying about the future (in all of its mysterious and potentially scary glory) and living between the storylines of your past. It makes a lot of sense, my friend.
.-= Rachel´s last blog ..Half Recap =-.
Hehe, you are one of the people I was thinking about when I mentioned the “delusional” bit. I’d much rather live presently and future focused than dwelling in the past, and I think a lot of my mental state has been caught up in the past because that’s the life/body I’ve always known. Glad it at least makes sense! :)
Oh man. I don’t know how I feel about you pegging me for calling ‘delusion’ on your hiney!
.-= BodyByPizza´s last blog ..Half Recap =-.
I guess that sounded wrong… you weren’t specifically one of the people I thought of when I wrote that… I just thought there would be those people and you were one of them. ;)
I just started receiving The Secret Scrolls emails a few weeks ago, and I always find the messages simple, but so meaningful. I really enjoyed your post!
.-= Kara @ MyWellnest´s last blog ..Refrigerator Habits & Adventures in Food Blogging Update =-.
I’ll admit, I had the same problem most of the time while I was losing. I had NO idea what I would look like, and it’s SO hard to imagine.
But, I think there is a lot of power in thinking positive thoughts and visualizing a goal that you are working towards. Good luck!
Hope
Of course! I remember you posted a blog post called “okay, maybe you can love a fat girl” not long before you went to see Kepa. You had changed your thinking about whether men could handle dating an overweight girl. Had you gone to NZ thinking “Kepa might eventually bail on me because I have a few extra pounds and won’t have as much tolerance for my cranky, sad or mopey days as he would an Operation Sexified Gal,” that strain and stress would have limited your success in truly connecting and getting to know each other. (This is not to discredit what you and Kepa do to grow and maintain your relationship–that’s obviously super important as well.)
Seeing the potential in the future is totally clutch in creating a successful future. In fact, this is what athletes do–they visualize their race or their game to help them focus and reach their goals. (And as I type this, I realize it’s what I need in order to be successful in my triathalon this summer.) It helps you figure out what you want, strive towards it and develop the confidence necessary to get there. You do SO MUCH to improve yourself (new challenges, Operation Sexification, exploring half the country and even New Zealand) to keep things fresh and new in your life and continue to grow. It’s so admirable and inspirational. I have no doubt that your future is packed with some pretty dang fantastic things. It’s just a matter of deciding which things to go for first :)
Hehe, yeah, well that relationship was meant to work no matter what. ;)
Ooooh, you should totally use visualization for your triathlon. You are going to rock that!!
Thanks Tina. :) I do think life should be fresh and exciting and full of new lovely things so I try to go after all those things. I just want to be the best me possible. Thank you for appreciating that. :) Thank you for such a lovely comment!
Well said, Tina. And what you said in a reply, Mary, about living in the present and future rather than the past is very key too, I think. So you’re kind of a living experiment for us all now: does The Secret work? Cool.
.-= Ten Pounds´s last blog ..Fresh attempt on the dress thing =-.
Haha. Yeah, it’s funny to think about it that way, but I think because I blog a lot of my life becomes an experiment for other people to watch and live through/learn from. That’s pretty cool. Let’s see how this one goes. ;)
“I am thin and healthy. My body is strong. It’s ready for this day and lots of activity.” I like that. I too have struggled with seeing myself under the weight I’m currently at. And I’ve stayed here, hrmm. Working on it. Trying to picture myself there, if that makes sense. who knows.
.-= katdoesdiets´s last blog ..Cheribundi Review =-.
I believe this with all my heart. Getting to your Ideal Shape begins and ends in the mind. That is the foundation of the program that I developed. We use hypnotherapy to make sure that not only the conscious but the subconscious mind is retrained as well.
.-= Skyler Meine´s last blog ..Body Bars: the Perfect Weight for Women? =-.
Tsk tsk Skyler. I appreciate that you have a program and it’s sort of related to the topic at hand…. but don’t pimp out links on my blog comments. ;)
I totally agree that it begins and ends in the mind. Because without that you aren’t going to get very far!
I don’t think it’s delusional at all.
I think it’s definitely a big part of being beautiful and feeling sexy. It’s like developping a taste for a new food, or getting used to new music.
This is what brings the glow … This is the heart of the island! (Lost reference ;) )
.-= Marilou @ Mostly Healthy´s last blog ..Hump Day =-.
OMG, love the LOST reference. Totally agree. :)
I love what you are saying to yourself Mary!!!! Love it! It does not have to be The Secret or some other person’s book.. it is Mary’s way to a better & healthier life!
One thing about my fitness.. I do visualize myself looking & being a certain way.. I do it when I am in & out of the gym. Yes, I admit, I am obsessed with it if you have not figured that out by now, :-), but I am OK with that! Whatever works for you.. that is what counts!
Now I have to apply it to real every day life out of the gym! :-O
.-= Jody – Fit at 52´s last blog ..What Do You Want to be When You Grow Up? =-.
It’s definitely my own way to a better life… reading that just spurred on my doing it. I’m sure something else would have come along to make the same thing happen. :)
Visualization rocks! :)
I am so proud of you! I never thought about this but really during the times when I focus on my weight and how unhappy I am with it I am least successful but if I love my body it starts to love me back. Thanks for this post. I was just inspired.
.-= Diana @ frontyardfoodie´s last blog ..What a Day =-.
I think it is crucial for us to start believing in our current abilities and really, honestly, truly believe in our body’s strengths. I have been smaller than I am now, but I always felt fat and insecure. I always felt weak and not good enough. But my shift in thinking, by doing things every day that make me better, by proving to myself that I am better, gives me the encouragement and motivation I need to continue to be better every single day.
I think it does have to do with picturing myself at a smaller weight, but I don’t even look that far down the line. I take every day at a time, every moment as it is. Sometimes, it’s a day of rest and relaxation. Sometimes it’s a day of super hard work. I think conceptualizing where we want to be in the future gives us a solid goal to work towards. And for me personally, that goal isn’t necessarily weight related any more.
.-= Jess´s last blog ..My First Q&A! =-.
I agree..thanks for reminding me of the principles of it. It’s ‘simple’ in it’s concept…powerful it’s ability to transform…and easy to ignore. “Your thoughts become your world”
M
.-= Michelle@eatingjourney´s last blog ..Are you a STRESS avoider? =-.
Mary, it will seem SO foreign and yes you will get little glimpses but you will see the shift. It doesn’t happen over night but being conscious of the thoughts is the beginning. I started this stuff almost 20 years ago. Someday, maybe, I will post the story of my disbelief of positive thinking and affirmations got thrown straight at me and I had NO choice to believe.
It does work….no matter where its starts! Just keep it going in your own way!
.-= Julie – Big Girl Bombshell´s last blog ..What The……..Wednesday =-.
Actually it kind of feels like it happened overnight, at least with the mental change. It feels quite natural and easy and I think as time goes on my body will follow my thinking. So I’m pretty excited about that!
I have a personal positive mantra I try to repeat to myself everyday… sometimes looking at myself in the mirror (boy is that hard!). It took some time for me to be able to say it without laughing or rolling my eyes :) and I didn’t even believe what I was saying at first, but after a while I did notice that my thinking was changing! I haven’t read The Secret, and probably never will, but I do believe there is power in repetition, and positive self reinforcement. Oh, and my mantra is also talking about my future-self, as if I am her now… so after all that, No, you aren’t delusional. :) I think it’s a huge step in the right direction! Keep it up! :)
I think it makes a lot of sense. I know then when I was blogging with optimism, I felt optimistic too, and I was more on track. When I started blogging about the glass half empty stuff, that is the feeling that began to pervade my life. So I am with you – there is SOMETHING to it.
.-= Karen@WaistingTime´s last blog ..I Need Brainwashing =-.
Glad you’re onto The Secret, Mary. And part of the Secret of weight loss is that you absolutely must fall in love with your body TODAY and not hate it until it becomes the body of your dreams. You can’t hate your body and take good care of it. And despite the lumps and bumps, our bodies have been wonderful to us — getting us this far on not-much-help from us!
I further encourage you to live your belief in the Law of Attraction by exploring The Tapping Solution, aka meridian tapping, or EFT. It helps you ferret out what your ENERGY is saying that contradicts what your head says. Once you’ve got your energy in agreement with your head, you are changing your life with ALL the POWER that is you!
Blessings, your driver, Sue
I already love my body, which is why it wasn’t a hard jump for me to change my thinking so easily. ;)
I’ve heard of EFT before but it seems silly? Or maybe I just don’t give things a chance? I don’t know. I’ll look into it more.
Thanks for everything Sue! I miss you!
ooooooh i LOVE your mantra. I need a mantra. thanks for the reminder and for being so awesome, always. xoxo.
.-= marzipan´s last blog ..what IF: I went to grad school? =-.
This was so inspiring! I was falling into a deep slump about how I felt with my body and weight, and your words about not being able to visualize what you actually would look like this absolutely resonated with me! It makes sense to act and decide to feel the way you want to feel at a lower weight, because then all your actions will hopefully be based on that better feeling. Here’s to feeling skinny so we’ll get skinny. Here’s to acting the way we want to be. To exercising, eating well, and feeling beautiful.
Good luck!
.-= Radiance and Sunshine´s last blog ..I fell longer and harder than I thought I would. =-.
I think you are onto something. You are not delusional at all, but you are very insightful and wise!
.-= Diane Fit to the Finish´s last blog ..Being Gentle With Yourself =-.
The way you think makes such a big difference to how successful you will be with weight loss. I haven’t been obese but just a little overweight, but even that amount I have struggled with for years and not been able to lose. It’s not until this year that I started changing the way I think and being more positive about how I feel and how I eat and live, that I’m finally losing the weight. I’m only 2kg off my goal weight and can fit into my jeans again – it’s amazing what the power of the mind can do.
.-= Sheryl´s last blog ..The Truth About Eggs and Cholesterol =-.
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