It’s no secret that I’ve struggled with emotional eating. It’s something I learned as a coping mechanism early in life and one of the main reasons why I became obese. I’m not cured from it but I’ve not struggled with it nearly as much lately.
However last week I had a little brush in with emotional eating. I posted about it on my food blog when recounting the food I ate that day. The post got some responses that were enlightening for me Jen:
And the emotional eating crap? Eh. I didn’t see anything HORRIBLE there. You didn’t binge on dairy queen or KFC. I’m sure it felt like you went crazy overboard but today is a new day so smile DAMMIT!
and from Rachel:
Might be off-base here, but I honestly don’t see a huge difference between what you ate yesterday (quality/quantity-wise) as compared to past days. It seem that ‘intent’ has to do with whether or not you consider your consumption ‘emotional’-based because honestly, I wouldn’t have considered this menu out of the ordinary if you didn’t mention it… weird?
Woah. You know what? They were right. What I ate wasn’t that bad. I ate some crackers and some cereal until the point where I was slightly past comfortably full. Afterwards I felt almost sick but it wasn’t because of the food – it was because I finally stopped eating and let myself feel all the things I was trying avoid feeling.
Not that long ago I felt like I had no control over what I was eating. There was something about the process of emotional eating that felt like I had to do it, that it was necessary, that is was the only way I could feel better about anything. Now that’s hardly the case. Sometimes I still want to eat because I’m emotionally hungry (not physically hungry). Sometimes I let it happen, like I did then, and sometimes I don’t. But even when I let it happen it’s not that bad.
I hadn’t really realized that yet. Before the point where I realized emotional eating was a problem for me it basically went unchecked. Small bites could turn into binges if I was depressed or upset and stopping myself. Now that rarely happens. Even when I “binge” it’s about 1/3 of the food I used to eat as a binge.
My emotional eating now usually just gets contained to some overeating with the intent of comforting myself with food. It’s more about the intent I have when eating rather than what I’m eating or how much. I try to always be mindful of what I’m eating and why I’m eating something, so I know when I’m emotionally eating. That’s a huge change from my previous actions. And with that I sometimes allow myself to eat things that I know will comfort me temporarily until I’m ready to sort out the feelings I need to sort out. Some people don’t think that’s smart and think it’s silly, but it helps me sometimes. And it doesn’t go further than a meal and it doesn’t send me out scrambling for more food.
I’ve made progress. It’s hard to unlearn behaviors you learned as a kid and have carried with you for 20 something years. But I’m working on it still. Always working on it.
And it’s the small victories that count. I continue to make progress even if I don’t know it.
Have you ever made progress but not noticed? Isn’t blogging awesome because other people can help you realize something about yourself?
ps – Check back tomorrow for a giveaway of sorts. I’m cleaning out stuff at my mom’s house today and getting rid of lots of fitness/health related books and DVDs. I’m going to list them all and if you want them they are yours! Check back for that in the am.
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{ 38 comments }
Hm. Yes, obviously … I used to binge on nasty stuff … and then I binged on good stuff.
The problem is the bingeing itself and using food as a coping mechanism, directly linked to emotions.
I think that the worst part to admit is that every does it in small or big ways. I don’t know a single person on Earth who has never turn to food at some point.
The whole point I think is to learn to move on from it, and not feel like a failure because of it. Overating occurs, that’s life.
Marilou @ Mostly Healthy´s last [type] ..I am who I am
I always say that everyone emotionally eats to some extent – but a lot of people refuse to admit that is true.
“The whole point I think is to learn to move on from it, and not feel like a failure because of it. Overating occurs, that’s life.”
YES.
Such a great revelation, Mary! I’ve been trying to make progress with emotional eating. It has been a huge barrier in my previous attempts at weight loss. Although, I’m not completely “there”, I definitely see progress! I have been able to keep the 60+ pounds that I’ve lost off for over a year now. That’s a record for me! Every day, I try to remind myself to “feel the feelings” instead of eat them. Food is so comforting for me and it’s been an easy way out of dealing with stuff all my life. But, I’m changing. Every day. Baby steps. :)
Marisa @ Loser for Life´s last [type] ..Best Vacation
Awesome! I think keeping off 60 pounds is great! That’s the same way I feel about my 40 lbs. It really is weight that is gone FOREVER. And that’s awesome. Hurray for not yo-yoing with weight – that’s definitely progress! And progress is good whether it’s baby steps or giant leaps. :)
Mary, great post! To answer your question, yes, it often takes others to mention my progress before I give myself credit for it. Maybe it is my tendency to be a little hard on myself at times that allows my progress to go unnoticed. I’ve been working with a weightloss buddy and dietitian who have been pointing out the weekly positives, which has really helped. Sometimes I feel like I am hitting a wall, which is where I am now, but they manage to show me the progress I’ve made each week. This journey isn’t an easy one, sadly, but these small changes are all adding up to the new us! Congrats on the progress you’ve made so far!
Dee | Odds Against Me´s last [type] ..an all too familiar feeling
Yes, Like when I realized that I am going to sign up for that 5k! You were one of many ppl that helped me see that I can do it! Thanks!
Molly´s last [type] ..First possible 5k
You can do that. I’m pretty excited for you! :)
That’s great to hear! I had a look at that post on the food blog and I don’t really think it was a bad day! I hope I can say the same tonight . It’s been a hard day and I started eating to comfort myself… but then I stopped. This is amazing for me! :)
Anna @ Lily Hue´s last [type] ..Halfway through a bad day
That’s great! Even just STOPPING is progress. Realizing you don’t want to do what your doing and stopping is actually harder than not doing it at all. Good for you Anna!
I think it is definitely progress that you have limited your emotional eating both in quantity and upped it in quality. I do think that emotional eating per se is something that is unhealthy (I do it too). But it is something that takes a long time to fix, it’s a habit you (and I) have had for years, so it’s going to take a while to break it. So what you are doing is definitely headed in the right direction. Good on you!
Hello Gorgeous´s last [type] ..Recipe- Vegetables with chicken & cream cheese
Blogging is indeed great for that and for so many other reasons. I have done lots of questioning thanks to things I have read in other blogs and in comments. And such wisdom out here:) For me, I seem to be backsliding with emotional eating. Hmmm – wonder why.
Karen@WaistingTime´s last [type] ..Location- Location- Location
That’s great that they took the time to read and really help you figure out that you aren’t doing that bad!
you have come a long way! Also, it seems like overeating doesn’t affect you negatively for too long and that’s so ok. Accept it and move on sister :).
Lisa @ I’m an Okie´s last [type] ..Animals like good food
Ah good point. You all know as much about me as I know about myself. It doesn’t bother me for long! And it used to make me feel so horribly guilty! That’s progress too!
Thanks. ;)
I used to be really bad about emotional eating when I got stressed out studying. I’ve kind of gotten away from it by either baking (because by the time the food cooks and cools, I’m usually done stressing) or cleaning. So if someone happens to stop by my house during finals, they’ll see a lot of baked goods in a spotless house. :P Of course, those only feed my bad procrastination.
And yes, blogging’s fantastic for making you realize things. It’s always cool reading comments or going back over pasts posts and having stuff pointed out that you never really gave any thought to.
I LOVE this post..
“Not that long ago I felt like I had no control over what I was eating. There was something about the process of emotional eating that felt like I had to do it, that it was necessary, that is was the only way I could feel better about anything. Now that’s hardly the case.”
I totally get that. I remember when I’d eat a whole jar of almond butter (Cause that was ‘heatlhy’) and then pack it down with 1/2 a batch of brownies. What I have REALLY been focusing on in the past couple of weeks is what food does for me. Right now with a 1 1/2 hour commute, 23 hours of class and 20 students..I want RELEASE. I want comfort..but more I want the feeling of being able to eat..rather then the food itself. Yes, sugar is always my go-to. But I’ll eat anything if I want release.
What is amazing is that, mostly, I am able to stop the binges. But I have found myself in more nights over-eating, mainly out of avoidance, rather then binging. So, yes, victory for stopping the binging. But, it’s still not exactly where I want to be. What has also changed for me is that I don’t beat myself up about it, as much. YES, I have been feeling very ‘fat’ this week. But I am really trying to re-focus my energy into working out, finding other releases listening to my body and moving into a state where I want to be travelling around my life in.
I know this is long winded. But I hope it makes sense. Thank you for writing this. It feels like someone is speaking my language.
Michelle@eatingjourney´s last [type] ..Vegas-or-Bust- The Program–Hal Higdon v Jeff Galloway–Part 1
Long winded but totally makes sense. We are on the exact same wavelength my friend. I totally get the need for release.
We aren’t where we want to be yet but we will be. I know it.
hellz yes..we will. And that is also something that has washed over me. that there’s a light at the end of the tunnel.
crazy.
Michelle@eatingjourney´s last [type] ..Vegas-or-Bust- The Program–Hal Higdon v Jeff Galloway–Part 1
Awesome blog post really. I think it is definitely progress that you have limited your emotional eating both in quantity and upped it in quality. I do think that emotional eating can get rid of you from overeating. Thanks for such informative post.
I don’t talk about emotional eating a lot – and I feel like I have been really REALLY good about controlling it (maybe it wasn’t as huge of a problem for me, as it is for some) – but I notice that if and when I do have moments, they are really not anything compared to what I used to eat. I think the fact that I don’t really even have food in my cabinets worthy of going overboard on really helps. But yeah, an extra bowl of cereal (why is cereal such an emotional eating food!?!) leaves me feeling guilty! It is still a mental game! I think stepping back after the fact and reflecting on the REALITY of what you have eaten and what you were feeling is really interesting. Especially in comparing what you may have felt in previous times and what you would have eaten then. Interesting post – I can totally relate.
Kim´s last [type] ..Scale Stress!
It is a mental game. Cereal is my number one emotional eating food and I used to eat bowls and bowls but now i just eat one bowl and the “oh crap what have i done” feeling sets in. But it’s not nearly as bad as I think it is or as bad as it used to be. Oh perspective, you are so strange!
I’ve noticed that my eating patterns are totally linked to my anxiety levels. It sucks because too much sugar causes anxiety but when I’m anxious I just want sugar… mostly in the form of Coke and Vanilla Coke.
I was struggling with this all weekend but it’s definitely less than it used to be and although I did have soda, it wasn’t nearly as much as it would have been before.
Kendra´s last [type] ..Week 1 Recap and Week 2 Challenge
I like that idea of giving away the books & DVDs – I’m not signing up for any of them, I’m trying to go the other way.
Maybe next time I know I have a trip to the States I’ll do the same – a grab bag of diet books I’m more than ready to part with – hope you don’t mind me borrowing your idea!
Do it! It’s a fun idea and might help people out if they’ve been wanting the book!
How timely. I just ate 2 cookies out of…boredom. Bad, bad! I knew I should’ve stayed at work later :)
Nicole, RD´s last [type] ..My New Job- End Stage Renal Disease
I’ve made progress. It’s hard to unlearn behaviors you learned as a kid and have carried with you for 20 something years. But I’m working on it still. Always working on it. And it’s the small victories that count. I continue to make progress even if I don’t know it.
Mary, I really like this… so true. You know, I have the fitness/eating thing down for the most part BUT real life, I stumble a lot & I have to tell myself what you said above. We all have things we are better at & not better at. Real life, me, not so better at!
Jody – Fit at 52´s last [type] ..Germ Fighters – Home & Gym Help!!!!
Emotional eating is definitely a tough habit to cure. I think it’s similar to quitting smoking. You use it as a crutch to help cope with some sort of emotion and when you want to eliminate it you have to fill that need with something. I have found that exercise is a good way to fill the void but its just as tough to get motivated to exercise. Anyone have any tips on this seemingly endless cycle?
It helps to have a lot of different options for filling the void. I don’t emotionally eat as much anymore because of a few different things: 1) I’m better at handling/facing my emotions 2) I choose another activity like blogging, exercising, or friend time instead of eating 3) I keep the foods I generally turn to away from the house 4) I remember that even if I have done some emotional eating it doesn’t have to continue and turn into a big thing. If it happens, stop and move on.
Mary you’re absolutely right, I’m sure it’s because we focus so heavily on the negative, which is terrible! We should be proud of the changes we make and how much more self-aware we become on these journeys but we get so tangled up in concentrating on the negative without congratulating ourselves on the progress we have made!
D…´s last [type] ..New scales
What a great discovery about yourself! Blogging has helped me in the fact that I am giving my healthy eating and lifestyle a lot more thought. I am taking time to think about why I eat, when I eat, how I eat, what I eat. It comes down to awareness!
I recently lost some weight and forgot to post about it until my mom asked me if I had lost any more weight! I realized that the number on the scale was not on the top of my list anymore! That is a victory!
i know what you mean about carrying habits into adulthood. my bad habit is eating meals in front of the TV or computer. (i didn’t do it as a kid, but i have developed it as a crutch over the last decade.) it’s bad because you don’t appreciate the food! a lot of us say we love food so much, yet we don’t give meal time the attention it deserves. (and probably end up eating more than necessary.) thanks for another great post, Mary, your candidness always gives us something to think about :)
Angela (the diet book junkie)´s last [type] ..my life in pictures
just recognizing you are eating for reasons other than hunger is huge.
That in and of itself is progress…and not stuffing yourself till you’re sick.
well, you are on your way to eliminating this particular problem.
Good job Mary.
Mary, I think we are our own worst enemy most of the times! I do this a lot. A learning lesson for life for me!
Did you get the poem????? :-)
Jody – Fit at 52´s last [type] ..Vitamins & Vitamin Supplements- Yes or No
What a great article. Emotional eating is the hardest part. I struggle with this daily. Thanks for all the great information!
http://fightingtoloseweight.blogspot.com/
I appreciate your knowledge. Emotional eating is definitely a tough habit to cure. I think it’s similar to quitting smoking. You use it as a crutch to help cope with some sort of emotion and when you want to eliminate it you have to fill that need with something. Really a awesome article.
You should carry on this and will find better improvement.
healthy weight loss program´s last [type] ..hypothyroidism weight loss
I’ve managed to keep off 60lbs and there are two things that have helped: 1. Getting to the heart of what was truly eating me. There was a lot of therapy involved to help me unhearth why I was eating my feelings. But weight loss needs to come with a warning label, especially if you’re an emotional eater, because once you start losing weight and dealing with your issues all hell breaks loose. You start to confront yourself and others, so it can be tricky. Secondly, I never allow myself to be hungry and I fill up on the good stuff first. But doing the emotional work is a challenge.
Mary! That is no small victory that’s a HUGE one! I love those breakthrough moments when you realize it can really be all about how we’re over/under thinking something. Yet another way your blog has helped create a stronger healthier Mary!
Meegan´s last [type] ..Daily Win
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