My engagement wasn’t a huge surprise. I knew it was coming because Kepa and I had talked about marriage already and he had asked me what my ring size a few months earlier. Even if you previously hadn’t discussed the topic, a random question about your ring size would make you suspicious.
The funniest part of the ring size question was that I had no idea what my ring size was. I don’t wear rings generally because every time I’ve bought a ring I’ve either broken in or lost it (that is of all the three rings I’ve owned in my life). It’s not a jewelry type that I care much about one way or the other so I just skip wearing rings most of the time. So when Kepa asked me about my ring size I told him I’d have to go to a jewelry store and find out.
I ended up going to Walmart, classy as I am, to find out what my ring size was. The process filled me with anxiety because it reminded of the times when I was in high school trying to find a ring there and nothing fit. There is nothing more depressing than trying to find a ring for the first time in your life just to learn that nothing will fit you because your fingers are too fat. Even though I’m much lighter than I was then, going to find out my ring size I couldn’t help but fear that my fat fingers wouldn’t fit into any of the ring sizes. Irrationality is sometimes part of my daily life, and that was definitely one of my most irrational moments.
After asking about the rings I had to figure out my ring size by first guessing my size then working from there. I had no idea where to start. The last time I bought rings my ring size was an 11. An 11! I could hardly even find any size 11 rings at that time and I’m pretty sure there still aren’t nearly as many available as the smaller sizes. Even though rationally after losing a lot of weight I couldn’t still wear a size 11 ring I thought for a moment that I should start there.
After checking a few different sizes out I realized my ring size was an EIGHT. An 8! That might not mean much to any of you, but that’s a pretty normal size. I can go to the store and find rings easily now (not that I will since I don’t wear them). Somewhere along the line my finger stopped being as fat. It took sizing myself for a very important ring to realize that. My fingers are three sizes smaller than they used to be and I’m very happy about it. The little victories like this are part of what makes this whole getting healthy thing so amazing.
Even though I went to get my fingers sized and correctly gave the ring size to Kepa, I was terrified I would get engaged and the ring wouldn’t fit. If I’m being honest that was a fear I’ve carried around for a long time. After that first ring shopping experience where I couldn’t find any rings to fit me I’ve always been afraid that when I got engaged the ring wouldn’t fit over the fatness of my finger. That experience subconsciously scarred me since I still carried around that fear – even after giving Kepa the right size and only waiting a few months I was scared the ring wouldn’t fit as he slid it over my finger. Luckily I was so overwhelmed by the awesome proposal that the thought didn’t cross my mind in the moment… and the ring fit.
Just a few weeks later and my ring not only fits but it’s actually loose. I’m now worried that when it’s wet it might just slip off my finger, especially as I continue to lose more weight and my ring size potentially drops again. And while a loose ring is annoying, it’s a sign of how far I’ve come in working to change my life. It’s a sign not only of my commitment to Kepa, but a sign of the commitment I made to myself. I made the choice to change my life for the better through healthy living and my loose engagement ring is my new reminder of that promise I made to myself.
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{ 40 comments }
it’s those little, BIG, things that are more satisfying then a scale number..at least for me. Well, if I had an engagement ring… :) Congrats lovely!
Michelle@eatingjourney´s last [type] ..Finish Line v Journey State
What a great NSV!!
Is your ring insured? If not, please do get some it’s not very expensive. Also you might want to consider buying a ring guard until you’ve finished losing weight. It will keep that beautiful ring secure while you wait to get it resized to your new finger size!
Helen´s last [type] ..Tuesday Ten- Books- Food and Sex
I’m going to have to get a ring guard soon. My ring is sliding around a lot and I definitely don’t want to lose it because I love it so much and it means so much to me!
I have HUGE fingers.. so I’ve always struggled with ring sizes. The store J bought my ring from only carries a stock standard size 6 – so we had to get mine sized up too. My ring size is now an 8 too. Yay! :)
Also – one thing to remember, when you get a wedding band (if you’re going to do that, of course) your engagement ring will likely sit up higher on the fleshier part of your finger, so if you do re-size, don’t go TOO small. Having two bands on the same finger will make it fit a bit snugger. (I only found this out a few weeks ago when we bought the band.. and I nearly had a heart attack thinking my e-ring would be too tight!!)
Aly @ Breathe Gently´s last [type] ..Grey Sky Morning
Yay size 8!
Thanks for that advice. It’s still a year away from getting the wedding band (which I will do) but I’ll keep that in mind. Who knows what my ring size will be then!
This is so awesome! I’m sooo excited for you! I agree it’s those victories that mean the most. Because although they are “small” they are also healing a larger wound from your past. CONGRATULATIONS!
Mrs. O
Mrs. O´s last [type] ..Blog Makeover
Although I see someone else has mentioned it, they do make ring guards/sizers that snap into the inside of the ring to keep it fitting while you’re losing weight. Once you’re done, you can get it resized… or you can just stay with the guards. They’re just little plastic bits and you can’t really see them with the ring on.
Also, a huge congrats on the shrinking fingers! I love discovering little victories like that!
Skinny Sushi´s last [type] ..Clarity
That is a great way to see how far you have come:) BTW – I still don’t know my ring size.
My husband lost weight at one point and his ring was loose and it came of, without him knowing, when he was building a fire in the fireplace. Yep, we found it in the ashes, not to bad and repairable. I think they sell ring guards or something. You don’t want to lose it!
Karen@WaistingTime´s last [type] ..What Goes Down- Must Come Up
Ah! That’s what I’m scared of! Glad your husband found his ring easily! :)
i also forgot my size and found this service :http://findmyringsize.com very helpfull
Congratulations again! I am so happy for you!
Jes (Self Motivation)´s last [type] ..Glorious 7 mile run
That is so great girl!! congrats. :-D
Blubeari´s last [type] ..Moved!
I love your sinister use Walmart in the ring department. muwaahahahahaha!
Yum Yucky´s last [type] ..Tasting! Tofutti Cuties Fake-Azz Ice Cream Sammiches
Haha. It was the closest, easiest place to get my ring size checked at the time. ;)
This is hilarious timing! I got sick of my ring sliding around – the ring that I used to wear on my “wedding finger” because it would only fit there. Then it stopped fitting there and I put it in a drawer. Eventually I pulled it back out and moved it to my right hand ring finger and then eventually to my middle finger.
Where was I? Oh yeah, so the ring has been sliding around my middle finger, generally driving me nuts so I dropped it off at a jeweler to be resized. I went from a 7 3/4 ring size (that didn’t fit for a looooong time) to a size 6! How sweet! I can’t wait to get my properly fitting ring back!
Tara´s last [type] ..A Sound That Only You Can Hear
That’s awesome!
Totally awesome.
Small lecture from someone who’s been there: get a ring guard or tie some yarn around the band to keep it on your finger (if you go the yarn route, change the yarn out every 2 weeks or so, because it’ll hold bacteria!) My friend Matt is on his third wedding ring after losing 80 pounds and his wife has threatened to divorce him if he loses another one.
my husband and I actually don’t wear our wedding rings anymore since they don’t fit and because we got fancy worked rings, resizing them is going to be Very Expensive.
Lynn C´s last [type] ..My Safe Place
Your comment actually made me laugh out loud when I read the part about threatening divorce over losing rings. I told Kepa that I have a ring losing problem and my ring is loose, so hopefully he will be okay if it does happen. But I’m going to try my best not to. I might settle for the yarn route first then get a ring guard. I’ve got to find out how much those cost.
Congrats! Woo-Hoo!
JourneyBeyondSurvival´s last [type] ..War
Loved reading this post! By having a smaller ring size is just more proof that your hard work is paying off! Keep up the great work!
Mary – I am having the EXACT same problem. Though to be fair, I think I rounded up, all nervous that one day, I would wake up and my fingers would be so GIGANTIC that my ring wouldn’t fit. And now? A ring that nearly falls off all the time. I’m going to get a ring guard because it makes me so nervous that it’s going to fall off when I’m not paying attention.. and then I’ll really be in trouble ; )
marzipan´s last [type] ..Body Loving Blogosphere 081510
I used to wear rings all the time. When I lost my weight, I couldn’t wear them anymore. :( And I have no idea now what ring size I am! Nothing fits right!
Lisa´s last [type] ..Veggie Pasta Salad Recipe
In my old life, I once lost my wedding ring for over 6 months because of its loose fit. I loved that ring…
Kudos on the engagement and the size eight (badge of honor) ring…
Love this post! I remember the day I threw a sock across the room (don’t ask) and my rings came flying off!
KCLAnderson (Karen)´s last [type] ..Who Am I To Take That Away From You
HAHA! That’s hilarious.
I agree with everyone here…what a fantastic way to see how far you’ve come!
Melissa @ Journey to Marvelous´s last [type] ..OR NOT Oh- and Weekly Weigh-In 8
Mary, I’ve had the EXACT same fear!! My bf and I went ring shopping awhile ago and found this gorgeous ring that I fell in love with. The sales lady asked if I wanted to try it on, and I automatically said, “Oh, I’m positive it won’t fit me. I have huge fingers.” She insisted I try it, and it fit! It was a size 7! I thought for sure I was still an 8.5, but I guess losing over 20 pounds this year (and 55 in total) has made a difference there! I was SO excited! But now I’m terrified my boyfriend will propose with a size 7 ring and it won’t fit… What to do! I guess I’ll just relax and trust that it will be fine; that seemed to work out well for you. :)
McLauren84´s last [type] ..Updates Coming
Oh that’s so exciting! Definitely just relax. I totally understand the fear but if you fit the size 7 ring before you still will. It will work out. And let me know when he proposes… so exciting! :)
I splurged earlier this year on a pedicure. While there I was asked if I wanted to get a manicure too. Sure, why not. I was thrilled when my engagement ring actually came off. I’d lost enough weight that it fit properly again and I didn’t have to turn my finger purple trying to squeeze it off.
I can totally relate to you about the fear of rings not fitting. I’ve also never been interested in rings either, due to one of those experiences in middle school. It was really frustrating as a young kid…not being able to wear rings during the 80′s and early 90′s was a social disaster. =)
I didn’t know my ring size either, and Rick actually ended up getting me a ring that was a whole size too SMALL for me. Imagine how crappy he felt when he realized that it wasn’t going past my knuckle. lol. Your fear of the ring not fitting when Kepa placed it on your finger happened to ME!
Elisabeth´s last [type] ..Tuesday Afternoon Confessional When Intuition Isn&8217t Enough
had a similar problem, I found a website dedicated to ring size, it has some handy tips and a cool way to find your size.
http://findmyringsize.com
Be careful Mary! I lost a very important ring to me when it slipped off & I did not notice it. I was actually inside an office that was FREEZING and not only was the ring loose already, it got looser due to the cold & I was bummed forever about the loss… still am as I have lost most of my jewelry to a burglary a few years back… all sentimental stuff…. BE CAREFUL!
Jody – Fit at 52´s last [type] ..Age is NO EXCUSE!
I love those kind of non scale victories. My hubby told me my toes look thinner. My toes! I wonder what they looked like fatter? I don’t recall, that is a good thing I guess.
I actually have a ‘normal’ ring size unlike all my other sizes (shoe size included, which is a 10). So I understand why you are excited about going down so many sizes in ring size. I am really happy that at least in one thing, I am not big (my ring size is 6). I bought a ring I love 10 years ago in Ireland and it still fits (back then I weighed a lot less than I do now) so I don’t seem to gain weight in my fingers.
I would also suggest you do something that will prevent you from losing your ring (not sure what would be best, having it resized may be if your fingers are not going to get even smaller?). I’ve also heard of people losing their rings and while I’ve never had that happen (nor do I own any rings of value), I can imagine how sad I would be to lose something as important as my engagement ring.
I’d echo the comment above about getting insurance on the ring. Also, if you are going to wear just your wedding band on your left hand and move your engagement ring to your right hand, be aware that if your right hand is your primary hand, it will likely be a bit bigger, so don’t have it resized too small. I wear my band always and engagement on my right and take off the engagement when working out involving my hands in any way — after I bent a prong twice.
Think of the fat finger fear as prep for wedding dress fittings. Even if you buy a kind of non-traditional dress or shop online, one of the typical experiences is going to a salon to try on dresses and brace yourself for the fact that most won’t fit. The salons order most samples in a very small size (like human size 2, bridal size 6) and virtually no one can zip the samples. I hadn’t expected that and was disappointed. But it was still fun to be swimming in all that white satin for the day!
haha….that reminds me, i should get my engagement ring sized. i’ve only been wearing it for 3 years now (whoops!)
hope you’re settling nicely into NZ :)
Angela (the diet book junkie)´s last [type] ..not all salad is created equal
I hope your ring gets looser and looser!!
Sana´s last [type] ..Food Issues
My best gauge of how my weight is doing is the fit of my rings. When I’m at the thinner range of recent years I fantasize of having my rings resized, and sometimes take them off when swimming in fear I’ll lose them.
When I’m at the heaviest I can tell when I’m extra bloated by my rings first and foremost.
I love that they’re always with me with the gentle reminder of where I am, and especially the memories they each contain!
Sarah @ Low Stress Weight Loss´s last [type] ..The Fattest Girl on the Beach
I’m afraid my wedding ring will get too loose also. At the moment I have the opposite problem though. When I was pregnant it got too tight. I’ve been wearing it on a necklace, close to my heart, ever since. I’m assuming I’ll do that when it gets too loose as well. Eventually I’ll get it resized when my body figures out its set point.
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