Do Fat People Disgust You?

I never blogged about the first Marie Claire controversy or the second, because it never felt like something I needed to get into. But I have to say, something from the last opinion piece – Should Fatties Get a Room? (Even on TV?) – has been haunting me ever since I read it.

So anyway, yes, I think I’d be grossed out if I had to watch two characters with rolls and rolls of fat kissing each other … because I’d be grossed out if I had to watch them doing anything. To be brutally honest, even in real life, I find it aesthetically displeasing to watch a very, very fat person simply walk across a room

whats a post about fat people without a headless fatty shot?

The article is full of a lot more derogatory and hurtful comments toward fat people and her advice on diet and exercise is laughable in the midst of fat-hate. She ended the “article” asking if she was an insensitive jerk and people responded by letting her know she was – and more.  She was called “fattist”, “ignorant,” “cruel,” “uneducated,”… you get the point. People let her know that was she was saying was not okay.

And a lot of people brought up the point that the author was a former anorexic. In the comments even she acknowledged that her worldview as a former anorexic was to blame for her being so freaked out by obesity.

But is it just her?

Is she the only one that feels this way?

Is she the only one that is disgusted by fat people? Or is it more people? Is it… most people?

I’ve been told more than once in my life that I’m disgusting. This wasn’t for any reason other than my obesity. I know that people have thought I was disgusting for being obese. I have a feeling more people thought that than thought I was beautiful, although I never really thought about how many people I must have grossed out just be walking across a room.

One could say that the article was just one woman with a history of an eating disorder hating on fat people. But I have a feeling this hatred for fat people is more common than we all want to believe.

What worries me even more than the average skinny person hating on the fatties is the high level of self-hatred most obese people have. I know that at my heaviest weight I was horribly depressed but also so very mad at myself and my body. Quite frankly, I was disgusted by myself (how can you not be with years of being told you are fat/disgusting/blahblablah?).  It took me a couple years to figure out that my body was a gift and a good thing and it was beautiful and capable even at an obese weight. But before that happened? I hated my fat self. And what’s worse is that I hated other fat people. My self-disgust was something that I projected onto other people by showing my dislike for them.

I hate to admit that I ever felt that way, but at the same time, I think it’s pretty common.

In our culture thin is good, fat is bad. When you are fat you are supposed to hate yourself so much you want to change. This loathing should be self-directed but it tends to spill over. People tend to have the bad habit of openly hating in others what they hate most about themselves. Including being obese.  I’m glad that I finally came around to the realization that wasn’t something worth thinking and that everyone is beautiful and deserves compassion instead of disgust.  Maybe one day we will all think that, hopefully starting with ourselves.

For different reasons, it seems that many people are disgusted by fat people. Obese people because they hate that characteristic about themselves. Slim people because they don’t want to become obese. Maybe the only difference in the situation with Marie Claire is that the write admitted it (in a horrible way).

I don’t have grand conclusion to this blog post. I’ve just been haunted by these thoughts lately and wanted to get them off my chest.

What do you think about the article? About the hatred for obesity in our culture (and ourselves)? Are you disgusted by fat people?

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  1. While I don’t always agree with everything the Fat Acceptance movement has to say, this is one area where they’re absolutely 100% right. Fat people are treated like crap. We’re loathed, hated on, made fun of, the object of jokes, and all in the name of our “health”.

    I’m awesome now while I’m fat, and I’ll be awesome when (if I’m ever) skinny. I hate the fact that it was awful for me to be fat when I was OK with my size, but now that I’m losing weight, eating right, and exercising, I’m “one of the good ones.”

    Fuck that.

    Everyone on this planet has the right to dignity. Even us fatties.

    • I completely agree with her comment. I wish we could teach all children they are beautiful instead of what I was told in school. Add tall to fat and kids had twice the reason to pick on me. I think fat hatred is unacceptable just like homophobia! No one should be hated or ridiculed because they are “different” than the social norm. So, I agree! Fuck them!

      • Kids like to pick on each other for any reason. I got a lot of “short” jokes too. Tall, short, any reason! It’s so silly.

  2. Mary I think maybe you hit the nail on the head with this one when you said “What worries me even more than the average skinny person hating on the fatties is the high level of self-hatred most obese people have.” The greatest catalyst to living a full life is learning to love who you are irrespective of the things you want to change. Its the hardest thing to do – especially when we’re conditioned to a certain extent by society to hate fat. Part of that hate is a health thing, there’s no question that most of us can benefit from eating better, moving more and losing a few pounds not to love ourselves more but to value our lives and our health more which most of the time does find us loving ourselves more…
    My greatest wish is for all of us to work together, to love one another and respect one another no matter what. Hating any one group or any one aspect of human life – including fat – won’t help us get anywhere.

  3. Theresa makes a really good point. Fat people kind of blend into the scenery – nobody looks at them, nobody wants to acknowledge them, and if one of the herd should stumble into a situation where there are a lot of thin, young people (my own little nightmare, and I’m thinking teen girls here…) then the self loathing just DUMPS down on them. I’ve walked past a group of young people before and heard the giggles and whispered comments and it cuts right down to my inner 15yo shy self – which was, incidentally, back when I did not have a weight problem.

    But as Theresa said, I’m quite a fantastic person whether I’m fat or thin and I have a whole heap of life experience to boot that SHOULD stand for something. Unfortunately in this culture your ‘stock value’ drops when you’re fat, and rises when you’re thin. I don’t mean to anyone who actually KNOWS you, that’s a different matter – you would think the people closest to you realise you have awesomeness in spades. If/when I lose weight my personality probably isn’t going to change (perhaps a teeny confidence injection?), and yet it kills me that people will *notice* me more readily. I’ve never really lost weight before in any great measure, but I certainly remember the reverse effect…slowly becoming invisible the fatter I got. So yeah, being ‘one of the good ones’ (whether Theresa meant ‘good’ as thin generally or good as in folks getting off their fat keisters to lose the weight/make a change) and suddenly visible? Nutso.

  4. I’ve often said that prejudice against fat people is one of the last still “acceptable” prejudices, and I think that it remains so because many fat people hold the same prejudice. So many of us have these places inside of us where the desire to change our bodies is married to some kind of self-hate, even though there may also be many healthy reasons we want to get in better shape.

    And no, I am not disgusted by fat people. I am disgusted by stupid people, and in the case of this Marie Claire article (the latest one) I’m not even sure I think the author is stupid. She was honest about her point of view, and she has her own issues all tied up in it. And whoever hit publish on that story is selling magazines and generating conversation. So maybe this article is a good thing? Who knows.

    Great post, Mary.

  5. I have to say that I don’t like seeing myself fat. But when I see someone walking down the street who is heavy, I don’t feel bothered by it, in fact, my heart goes out to them because I know how they must feel.

  6. I think if we are honest there are ill mfeelings both ways.
    I was ina yoga class recently and ahead of me was a lady that was so thin she looked almost near death I thought,definitely in the throes of anorexia I am guessing.
    I have to be honest-I felt pained looking at her and extremely uncomfortable.I did not want to see her-it sickened me.
    That is just as bad as people being sickened by my rolls of fat.
    I am not going to hate on the article,because you know what?It shows honesty and humanity has a long way to go in showing love and acceptance of others.I think we are pretending if we say noone ever disgusts us-whether way too skinny,too fat,etc etc.But it is not right and it is not the way we should try and remain,it’s just that I think we shove these emotions under the rug and pretend we don’t feel them.
    I am not afraid to admit what I felt above,but I am saddened by my own reaction and hope we can all work towards change .
    We are all human and all need to work on our inner thoughts and reactions.This author was very mean,but in some odd way I feel at least she admitted her feelings.Maybe that will be her first step in the road to recovery,change and love.

    Thanks Mary for this discussion!

  7. I think that obesity is judged and like the other comments it’s probably one of the last accepted or overlooked prejudices. I personally don’t judge or hate on individuals who are obese because I know how it feels. I suppose that those who are formerly overweight will better understand and perhaps sympathize with the obese. At the end of the day, your weight is simpy your weight we cannot judge another individual based on it cause their self-worth is not determined or calculated based on that number.

  8. Overweight people have always been hard for me to look at, b/c it makes me think about myself, and if that was the way that ‘I’ looked. Even thought I’ve lost quite a bit weight, I still notice the overweight people in the room– what they eat, how they’re dressed, and it’s still hard for me not to overlook them for their weight. I know that I inherited my mother’s “judgmentalness” and I know that I still judge people based on their weight. It’s been hard to let that go, even though I know that I’ve been judged, and know how unfair it is. Overweight people are still “people” and they still have feelings, and their “issues” are more visible than other people’s.

  9. Mary, I think in general that there is way too much hate going around today for anything & everything. People hat fat people & gay people & Jewish people & black people & asian people & Muslims & anybody that is not the perfect norm. Very sad commentary on society right now.

  10. Just to continue down Jody’s path above, people have reasons to hate every “group”. In fact, I am white, tall, lean, and blonde……all things not included on Jody’s list above and there are still plenty of other reasons to hate me. But yes, the whole hating on people who are overweight is very evident in society right now. I have a father in law who always tells this joke about an overweight lady he sees on a regular basis and I can’t believe after how I just sit and stare at him with the “you ignorant bastard” look he still continues to tell it. He also claims he is a man of god. Gotta love it.

  11. We all judge whether we like it or not. I am not personally disgusted by a fat person as much as I am sad that they’re choosing to shorten their life like I was. I always find myself saying a little prayer that their “moment” (aha, light bulb and the like) comes soon so they can live longer. Everyone deserves that. The worst offense in the world is a person whose been fat and then becomes a fat person hater. They get no respect from me. When you’ve walked a mile in the wide width shoes and then thumb your nose at your former bretheren just because you think you’re God’s gift to fitness, I’d like to believe there’s a special kind of karma for those jerks.

  12. I think you’re spot on re: the self-hatred. I spent so much time being disgusted with myself at my heaviest, there was no way that wasn’t spilling over into what I thought of other people (fat or not). I think that component of the author’s eating disorder probably had a lot to do with what she wrote. (Of course, that does not excuse Marie Claire for publishing such a hateful thing for publicity reasons.)

  13. This is just sad :( I would never be disgusted by someone because of their size. Maybe that’s because I’m a dietitian and have always worked in pretty gruesome places of work in the medical field, but I can honestly say that I find nothing disgusting about obesity, only its outcomes. Outcomes that are, of course, physical and mental. Everyone has a story, and you can’t judge someone based on their size. Breaks my heart…

  14. I am not digusted by larger people; I’ve walked several miles in those shoes and I got enough of that, thank you. I don’t have enough fingers to list the differences between how I am treated now versus when I was larger, and it was never subtle. I will admit to being self-righteously concerned for both very skinny and very large people when I think of the health risks they are carrying around.

  15. The thing is, I would bet that anyone who admits disgust over a certain group of people probably feels that way towards anybody different, whether that is someone who is physically handicapped, mentally handicapped, someone with really crooked teeth, or with excess body hair. They just wouldn’t dare come out and say it against those people.

  16. Your response speaks the most to me of any I read in response. I’ve had to unfollow so many blogs of obese people or formerly obese people that hate fat people. I’m trying so hard to love myself, and it is so hard when I hear all of the negative messages about me out there. It does help that I have someone that loves me and thinks I’m beautiful but it is still so hard and we make it even harder on ourselves! So thank you for this post.

  17. My my what a wonderful open post, you have been through so much in your short life, one in which I wish I could have made more of a difference. I hear all the hurt in all the posts and I also hear all the strength, when bound together, makes a difference in the way others will view you from now on. These blogs are one of the best things all of you can do for yourselves and others that have the same feelings. Bind yourselves together as one and fight this one last acceptable prejudice. You have a strong voice if you are heard as one.
    To all you Mom’s out there, stand up for your babies and fight with them. We all know we want to be healthy but that does not always mean we want to be Twiggie! My baby is so beautiful and always has been, not only because of her outward beauty, but because of the sweetness of her inward beauty. She is kind and loving to all, especially to those she persieves as hurting. Mary is a beautiful child, just look into her eyes and you will see her beauty, and sure I want her to be happy and healthy, but I am not the one to say how she is to do it, and no one person has the right to lump all heavy people into the same catagory. How would she like it if she were lumped into a group with, overly skinny sick looking, anorexic person, who some look at and say “oh my goodness she makes me ill”, there are many reasons and many problems all go through and they are all different and should not be looked upon as one.
    So unite and stick together, you are beautiful, each of you in your own way, and the thing is that we all need support and love, so thanks to all of you for supporting one another and my Mary.

  18. Mary, thanks for confessing that you hated other fat people. I’ve felt the exact same way and really had to do some serious introspection to figure out why I was feeling that way.

    • I knew that if I felt that way then other people did too. Luckily it’s something we are all smart enough to examine and change.

  19. I’ve nothing to add to the discussion, but will say I’m glad you posted on the subject — knew your post would be insightful and provoke interesting comments.

  20. I grew up in a family that hated fat people (and none of them were fat…well, except for me…but not when I was a child, even though I thought I was). Fat people represented everything that is negative. And so, even at my heaviest, I was as disgusted by other fat people as I was with myself.

    By coming to love and accept myself, no matter what I weight, I have come to love and accept others too. It’s a beautiful thing!

    And I agree with Jodi ~ “there is way too much hate going around today for anything & everything.”

  21. Very insightful post! I think fat hate and hatred in general stems from deep personal insecurity and self hate. We’re taught from a very young age to be judgemental of ourselves, to strive for perfection and then hate ourselves when we fall short (as we inevitably will). And how can all that self-loathing not spew out onto other people? I love what you said about all people – ALL people, deserve to be treated with respect and kindness.

  22. What annoys me are the assumptions people make about overweight people – I know I was treated differently when I was 60lb heavier, mostly if you are o/weight you must be stupid as well, or there is something wrong mentally – well, be assured, I’m the same person I was 60lbs ago ;)

    The other thing that annoys me are the comments I get now that imply those people thought/think I sat on my butt eating the whole time – reality is, for me, I’m pretty sure the reason I struggled and still struggle is actually because I’m too busy, it was “easier” (I know now, that it isn’t necessarily easier) to stop at a fast food place and get quick food rather than prepare it, its easy to be so busy you don’t eat and then you are really hungry and make bad choices. Working 3 evening shifts and only getting 5-6hrs sleep for a few nights a week = tired = craving bad foods.

    I think that is it for me – the assumptions, not the disgust.

  23. I think everyone’s fat is relative. I imagine the writer has the opinions she does, not only because she struggled with anorexia, but also self esteem. I’ll bet more often than not, she thinks she looks just like those characters. Or at some point she did. I don’t hate fat people. I know I don’t really know how much space I take up, or that if I’m not smiling, I look like a bitch. Its a different self awareness that she’s experiencing. Can’t blame her for having her feelings, and she should be honored for expressing them in a way that tried to . She generalized and moved on. I think the point she missed though, is we as a society rely on media like television, movies and advertising to tell us how to behave. If we don’t see figures that look like us and are happy, then we don’t know that its okay to be us and happy.

    I will say that shows that focus on weight loss like HUGE make me cringe. I feel embarrassed for the actors, believing that several of their viewers are watching strictly to make fun of them.

  24. I hated myself at 250 pounds. I hated being fat. After losing the weight, I don’t get disgusted seeing old pictures of me….but I do get sad.

  25. I think fat hatred is rampant. It’s everywhere. proof? Now that I am considered thin I am in a different world. People notice and tallk to me, help me lift heavy objects in the store, smile and listen when I speak.
    I have a whole theory on that.
    I think some skinny people are just angry and hungry lol.
    You can’t let it get to you in any case.

    • That happens with so many people who go from overweight to thin. It’s so sad that overweight people are invisible like that. I’ve definitely felt (and still do, especially at the gym), and it sucks.

  26. Ahhh, I feel like I have just inhaled all these comments. I’ve read so many responses to the MC article, but yours has really spoken to me so much. Because I’ve often felt like most people probably feel the way the author does. So Mary, when you brought that up, it was the first time I had seen someone look at it from that perspective. Didn’t this author just say out loud what most people think? I don’t know. Obesity is very widespread (sorry for pun!) in my family. But there is lots of love and appreciation of the beauty of each other, despite size. I know I do feel a sort of kinship with overweight people when I meet them, because I feel like I want them to know that I value them and SEE them, despite their weight. And that is me projecting my own former insecurities and stings from having been discriminated against when I was overweight on them. So I’m obviously not “fat-blind”. I’m just sort of reverse discriminating? I don’t know. My mind is swirling from reading all these comments. Thank you for your post.

    • I think to a certain degree she did just say what many people say. I know A LOT of people who are grossed out by fat people kissing (and also gay people kissing, but that’s another story entirely). Some people are just grossed out by obese people, and I think it’s a lot more people than just one former anorexic writer.

      I don’t really have any answers for this, or for you, but it helps to think about these things.

  27. I do find myself judging the contents of fat people’s grocery cart and what they order in a restaurant and I do think to a degree I do hate fat people. But I don’t think I hate them as much as my parents do. I know they are completely embarrassed and hate the fact that me and my brother are overweight and I think part of it has to do with the fact that we weren’t overweight as children, though I do attribute my being overweight to how I was brought up. They’ve said a lot of hurtful things to me about being fat but the most recent was when I was all excited to show them the maternity pictures I had taken and they told me that they didn’t want any because they showed my bare stomach. I am not sure if it had to do with me being fat (and 9 months pregnant) but that is how I took it.

    • I totally admit to judging grocery carts. I think I do it more with overweight people but I do it with thinner people too. I’m a bit of a food snob almost these days… a cart full of processed junk food brings almost immediate judgment in my mind. I’ve gotta work on not doing that.

      Aw, that’s so sad! I hate when parents aren’t supportive. They can be the harshest critic.

  28. I think one reason some people might be disgusted with majorly obese people would be a cleanliness issue… applies to thin people as well but I know sometimes obese people have trouble cleaning themselves properly and that can generate extra negativity.

    I personally think that seeing people being affectionate (not too intensely) is sweet no matter what their size. Love is beautiful from zero to a hundred.

    • I’ve wondered about cleanliness being at the root. I tend to think it’s more judging overweight people as lazy, and is similar to the judgment and resentment some people feel toward panhandlers/homeless people (and maybe welfare recipients in general). I think some people at healthy weights work very hard to stay healthy (or financially sound) and look down on others who don’t share that priority, perceiving them as lazy.

      • I think that the issue of being lazy is more correct. People look down on anyone they assume is lazy and most people assume all overweight people are lazy, even if that’s not the case.

        • Agreed Mary! Frequently not the case. Laziness cannot be assessed based on looking at anyone’s size, level of employment, etc. It’s a shame people judge books based on covers. There’s more to everyone.

  29. I have been very fat myself before (now I’m neither fat nor thin). At that time, I did feel kind of disgusted with myself but I think that’s my inferiority complex at work. Now when I see fat people, I actually can empathize with the problems they face. No matter how a person looks, most importantly is the personality.

  30. for me the whole article was about a tv show and overweight people but also is an iteration BACK (if thats the word I even want :))

    the fact that so many of us have prejudices we dont admit or dont even realize ourselves.

    Ive seen the ugly underbelly of those prejudices so many times Ive vome to LIKE the people who are overt and upfront about them and realize its the covert I really need to fear.

  31. Honestly, I just can’t beleive that article was published.

    Ya sure, make your own opinions on your own blog, a few followers may get mad or disagree, but seriously, making those comments in a *magazine*?? In a world where people are too quick to judge and discriminate, publicly stating such “disgust” against a group of people because of their size is just disgusting in itself. Why are people being allowed to make such public judgements and critiques against the “fatties”, but saying anything negative about someone who’s a certain race is discrimination and not tolerated? Shouldn’t any negativity and outright ignorance be deemed as discrimination?? If she changed the “fatty” to “african american” would that article have been printed? Of course not.

    People are welcome to have their own opinions, and if you want to be brave enough to say such harsh opinions and judgements publicly, that’s your choice. BUT, in saying that, I do NOT agree with a popular publication, which is read by millions, to subject their readers to the thoughts of some judgemental bitch. It is sheer negligence on their part to publish an article that makes it seem okay to loudly state their disgust to a certain group of people.

    Marie Claire should be ashamed they even let this chick write for them. One of the biggest issues facing the world today is womens and girls self image. Way to contribute even further by adding written articles bashing anyone who are not pencil thin.

    I love Jen Lancasters reaction –

    Not sure if someone already shared it, but I didn’t have time to read every comment! :)

  32. This is interesting.

    I will admit that I’m one of those people who are turned off/disgusted by fat people. Well, obese people to be precise. Even as a young person, I used to stare at some people and think, I hope I never get like that. There’s just something about rolls and rolls of excess skin that semi grosses me out. But then again, actual fat on meat grosses me out too. I think it’s only at the point where people have skin and arms that drop and fall that it starts getting to me. Not just generally overweight people.

    On the other hand, really skinny people gross me out too. I always feel like wincing when I’m around people whose collar bones are extremely prominent or who have really small waists or extra skinny legs.

    However, it doesn’t translate to hatred of the person. I guess i’m just one of those people that are affected by what I consider textures. I wouldn’t want to see an obese person in a bikini but then I wouldn’t want to see an anorexic person in a bikini either (think Calista Flockheart in Ally Mcbeal) but that’s just a personal preference and MY aesthetic.

    I don’t know. If i were severely obese, would I feel the same way? Maybe. Who knows? Mary you’ve given me some things to think about.

  33. I thoroughly agree with you. I am totally annoyed and disgusted with fat people. I personally think that they are extremely lazy and have no self motivation or self respect. I happen to be a very motivated person and I work out regularly.

  34. I say hate the problem, not the people. Obesity is a very misunderstood problem, many people believe that people who suffer with a weight problem are lazy and gluttonous; that is totally inaccurate. The biochemistry of the body compels the organism to action. When the body’s biochemistry is out of whack, the person will eat and become quite sedentary.

  35. Sure, people have different aesthetic preferences, and with the amount of conditioning we receive as we grow up immersed in this extremely visual, extremely standardized / idealized body culture, most of us probably find moderately skinny (or, to an increased extent, curvy but shapely) bodies more aesthetic than obese bodies. I must admit that I share these preferences to some extent. However – my personal preferences are just that, personal preferences, and when I find myself judging others’ appearances, I try to remind myself that my aesthetic preferences are in no way absolute, that they are culturally conditioned, and that it is well worth looking beyond them… And my personal beauty standards, whatever they may be, do not give me any right to say hurtful things about others who don’t meet these standards, especially not in a public forum where anyone can read them. Because somewhere out there in the space-time continuum, what I see as ugly counts as beautiful, and what I see as beautiful counts as ugly.

  36. I am not disgusted by fat people. But I feel something (maybe concern?) when I see overweight children, severely thin women, severely overweight adults, etc. I’ve been there so I know how hard it is to live at an unhealthy weight. I know the limitations & I know how embarrassing it was when I was huffing and puffing after walking up the stairs. I wrote a little bit about the article on my blog–two separate times actually–and although I maintain that the article is insensitive, I find that some of the comments may be worse. My goodness, the name calling, the hatred, apparently we all could learn about sensitivity.

  37. to tell yall the truth…being mean about what ppl think about fat ppl doesnt make you a better they say dont judge a book by its cover…reading some of these comments makes me think…why talk bad about fat people. do yall have anything better in life beside making rude comments…what if someone fat looks at you and says you’re ugly? would you like that i wouldnt!

  38. To be completley honest. I am absoutley repoulsed by obesity. I can’t help it. I don’t necessairly look at the person as an individual but at their body in general. I think there’s no purpose aside from medical reason why a person should be obese. Especially children. No excuse. That to me is child abuse and that is entirely the parents fault. It truely bothers my why people complain about being fat but they’re stuffing their face full of 4 whoppers from McDonalds. If you can’t see yourself becoming fat, i.e. not fitting into your pants, people personally telling you that you’re gaining weight, then you truely do have the problem, not me for being disguisted by your lazy appearance. I myself do not have an eating disorder so that’s not a contributing factor. I truely believe my repulsion is psychological, it’s just not something I can help, it’s like a person who has a foot fetish, or someone who’s phobic towards something like spiders or the dark, or someone who had ocd, or something like that along those lines.

  39. What ever your opinion on obesity (although I don’t think I’ve ever met someone who is for it), America sure has an obsession. There are a ton of shows about weight and weight loss. I’m thinking about this because I just saw some ads for a new weight loss show called HUGE (on A&E) and I think it looks pretty promising. Really hopeful and positive (unlike other weight loss shows, ahem TBL). I heard the participants went to this weight loss spa to lose the weight and from the previews, H3 looks super pretty. I feel kind of bad buying into the weight loss show fad, but this show looks amazing.

  40. In our culture thin is good, fat is bad. When you are fat you are supposed to hate yourself so much you want to change.== this is indeed exactly very true..people tend to judge people by how they weigh..yes, its new now sometimes, it is maybe for the looks but most of the time it is on being fat, or worst being obese…
    i have a friend who was also obese, i tried to recommend a weight management program for him and now he is on his normal weight.

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