It’s almost a shameful secret to admit. When I got down to my lowest weight in college I bought all these size 14 jeans and khakis. I bought them at American Eagle and Eddie Bauer where I used to work and I bought a pair from Banana Republic and few from Old Navy. I was just sooo excited to fit into them at that size. I couldn’t wait to wear them all. I wore maybe two pairs before I moved back home, got depressed again, and gained back 50ish pounds. Needless to say, they haven’t fit me since I first bought them.
But I’ve carried them with me. Despite moving a million times in the past two years (that’s what it feelt like) I’ve taken the stack with me every time. I never unfold them, I never look at them, I never touch them except when I pack them to bring them with me each time I move. I refuse to give them away. I refuse to sell them. I refuse to do anything but keep them until they fit again.
I’m nothing if not persistent.
They went with me to Vermont. They went with me to Orgeon. They crossed the country in my car. They crossed the ocean on a plane. They now live in the bottom shelf of my dresser in New Zealand. These are well traveled pants. They are well traveled pants that still don’t fit me.
But I’m close.
I’m really close to wearing The Stack.
I’ve been stuck in a size 16 for the last year or so as my weight loss stalled. I was almost there last March but not quite. I currently have a pair of stretchy size 14 denim shorts that I can wear, so I sometimes am a 14. But The Stack still doesn’t fit me yet. They aren’t stretchy. They are actual size 14 jeans with no give. They are sill my next “goal pants” to fit into.
Since I stopped weighing myself I’ve noticed that my clothes are getting slightly too big. My size 16 pants are getting ever so slightly looser. Which means I’m ever so slightly closer to wearing The Stack.
I feel so, so close.
Fitting into The Stack has been my secret goal for years now. It’s crazy how much time has passed since I first bought them and wore them. It’s crazy how it’s been a goal for so long and I’ve still not managed to accomplish it. I’ve gone down in shirt sizes, but my lower half refuses to cooperate and fit into the pants. (Seriously body, work with me!) It’s been a goal I’ve not achieved for a very long time, but I know that within the next few months I will achieve it. I will fit into The Stack. You will see photos of me wearing them.
It’s only a matter of time.