Worst idea I’ve ever had = not exercising during the most stressful two months of my life.
I’m not sure if I should even call it the worst idea since I didn’t plan it. This was not the plan for this time of my life but it’s worked out that way. I’ve been biking and walking but that’s it and it hasn’t been enough.
Lately I’ve been feeling stressed for a lot of different reasons some of which I can’t even talk about. This has been causing me to get headaches almost every day which just makes me feel worse than I already do. For a brief moment I thought something might be really wrong with me but now I’m sure it’s tension/stress headaches.
I’ve been feeling this way, with lots of pent up emotion and stress…. with no release.
Normally my release is exercise but that hasn’t been happening. Instead I’ve been letting things build up without solving the problems (not that I can for some things). I’ve not even been trying to ease the stress or really doing anything good for myself. That isn’t a good thing.
Lately I’ve felt so angry and wanted to hit things for no reason, I’ve felt a little bit hopeless, like I’m stuck in quicksand without a way out just repeating the same mistakes over and over, and I’ve felt very alone. Like I mentioned last month, not exercising or eating very well has made my PMDD worse which has made my life feel worse. Another month has passed without me doing anything about it though and for almost the whole month I’ve felt awful.
I’m going to spend some quality time with my mom this weekend finally. It turns out her tumor was bigger than they thought and she will need chemo in addition to her radiation now. Eh, bad news, good news, bad news. It’s an emotional roller coaster that I’m barely able to handle right now.
I think I need to go for a run or hit a punching bag or something. Probably that last one. Soon.