Stigma

Last week was slightly better than the previous, but not by much. Who knew so much change and frustration all at once would be problematic? Sometimes I never learn.

Luckily this week is a short one at work (THANK ALL THE THINGS FOR THIS) and I get two days off to hang out with the family and go window shopping with people who are really going shopping. I’m really excited to have this break from the day job because it’s been causing so much stress lately and I’ve been so emotionally/mentally screwed up it’s affected my work life.

Heeeellllllooooo thanksgiving break!

I’m looking forward to a few days off to rest and enjoy my family and more importantly, take care of myself.

I’m making an appointment soon with both a therapist and a gyno doctor so I can hopefully get whatever medication is needed to straighten myself out. Medication coming soon to control the anxiety and depression! I’m also looking for a weekend Zumba class or something active I can drop in on to get some much needed endorphins in my life once again.

Is it a bit embarrassing to admit to needing and taking medication? Sometimes I think it is. Sometimes I mention in to someone or just start thinking “omg, what will people think of me?” and then worry myself into anxiety land over the issue.

But then? I remember.

I remember there shouldn’t be a stigma around stuff like this. I remember that for it’s not something you have a choice over (because believe me, I’d chose not to have these issues). I remember that if someone needs help, they should get help. I remember my sister and I remember that it’s important to get treatment for things that you can’t control. I remember that ignoring the issue and trying to tough it out sometimes has deadly consequences.

I try to talk openly about the stuff that goes on in my head that I can’t control. It’s awkward sometimes and occasionally embarrassing. Sometimes I feel like I’m being openly judged for it. Sometimes I judge myself for it.

However, I know these kinds of mental issues are more common than they are talked about. Maybe it would be better if more of us admitted to these things and let go of any stigmas. I’m certainly trying my best to do so as I try to get to a healthier place. 

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