One of my goals is to get under 200 pounds. After living the majority of my life at 200+ pounds now, this is a pretty big goal for me.
However, it’s also one that I keep failing to reach. I get ever so close and then retreat in the wrong direction. Time and time again I get to 205 or 204 and then do something silly to start gaining weight again. This isn’t my only goal. There are goals beyond it, on the other side, that I haven’t even thought about yet because of this sticking point. I’m ready to get past it and move on to something else. I just have to figure out why I don’t.
It boils down to something pretty simple: I’m scared.
I’m scared to succeed. I’m scared to fail. I’m scared of actually accomplishing the things I’ve made my goals. I let the fear stop me. I’ve let it stop me several times already. The fear is tied in with my anxiety and the closer I get to creating the life that I want the stronger the fear becomes.
This time I’m not letting this stupid fear derail me. I don’t want to be so comfortable with failure. I’m reading up about the fear of success and understanding why this happens here and in other areas of my life. I’ve found through therapy and self-help stuff over the last two years that knowledge about something really helps. If you understand it, you can control it.
So I’m just gonna keep on going, if that’s okay.
No fear.
Three pounds away.
I’m excited.
Do you ever struggle to achieve goals? Is the fear of success something you’ve encountered?
{ 16 comments }
Ugh, hear this!! I lost 40 lbs in university and stupidly let myself gain back 55! Fear of failure? I’m so rustrated but working on it. I’m enjoying your posts and finding them motivating!
You can do it Mary!!
I heard this saying not too long ago, which has become my sign off on most of my e-mails…
Fat is hard, fit is hard…which HARD do you choose?
You’ve been playing this game with yourself long enough!
It’s time to let yourself win and get past it!!!
“You’ve been playing this game with yourself long enough!”
Too true, too true. It’s all in my head which is what makes it even more annoying!
I’m not going to lie — I struggled to get under 200. The way I finally did it is I just stopped weighing for a week or two and the next time I got on the scale, I was there. What’s weird is that seeing that number didn’t shake me. I was happy and excited! But going down from there was no big deal… until it happened when I got to the next goal. It’s just weird. I think it may be that you fear not getting there and start to psych yourself out. Then you get there and its ok. So my advice is what you already know — just keep going! Of course you’re going to have bloaty days and off days, but you WILL get there! I’m really enjoying reading your blog. You just seem so down to Earth!
That’s actually my plan! I didn’t weigh in today and won’t until next week. I’m pretty sure that will help. My weight does fluctuate a lot based on water retention (boo) but I’m pretty sure in a week I’ll be there. Thanks for the comment!
Mary I think that many people do this. There is a mental block of thinking you can never make it or you don’t deserve it. I strongly believe it has emotional ties to things we have experienced in life and like you said therapy and learning how to take control over those thoughts will help you get through it. You deserve this my dear! Just take some deep breaths and embrace the new places you are about to go. I am excited for you!
Shannon´s last [type] ..Weigh In And What I Am Doing To Lose
Baby steps, baby steps, baby steps. I remember when I was first targeting my goal to get down under that 200 mark. It’s a bit of an achievement, yet quite daunting at the same time. I found that for goals like that, as with most things in life, setting small achievable goals and working up towards them is the key to making it all happen. One less bad habit here, one more notch down on the belt there…try to focus on the positive things only and how GOOD it all is in the end! I’m now down to 180 and LOVING IT! It’s still fun to look back at my old photos and go “Wow, I can’t believe what I’ve done!”
I do the same thing with 189. I get there and then freak out. But I am determined!
You can do it!
You can do it!!!! Power through!!!
Barbara´s last [type] ..Great Expectations Vs. Realistic Expectations
Oh my, yes, I’ve been there!! I seriously think that’s why I’ve maintained a lot over the last six to seven months. In my adult life I’ve never been 170 or lower for more than 1-2 years.
For me, at 25 lbs away from goal, there’s also the fear of gaining some of this back…as I’ve seen many do. I finally had to decide to keep pressing on and at least give “life at goal” a try and see if I like it. Sounds silly, but when you’re attempting something you’ve never done before, you can’t think too serious or you’ll scare yourself out of it. :) at least me anyway.
I’ve checked in on you off an on since you started blogging and I’m glad to see you are still pressing on with your healthiness goals. Keep it up!!
Glad you keep checking back in. Eventually when you check in here you’ll see I finally did it! ;) Thanks Leah!
You are not alone Mary. Many have fear & yet they are not sure if it is fear of failure or success or both. You can do it! :)
Jody – Fit at 55´s last [type] ..I am HOT with NO Apologies! And a Apology too! ;) Read on!
I love finding bloggers who are just about to step into “Onederland”. I myself am less than 10 pounds away and it scares the hell out of me. After losing 60 pounds I know I can do this, but it’s still the unknown. I haven’t been that size since I was 18. However seeing all these other people walk through that door before me, it gives me faith in myself. If they can do it, I can do it.
Go Mary, kick butt!
You can do this! No fear – just do it! Can’t wait to see you in Onederland.
If you haven’t already, perhaps you could look at ‘The Gabriel Method’ by Jon Gabriel. He talks about the mental and emotional causes of obesity, and one question which struck me between the eyes is ‘Do you feel safe being thin’? Best wishes Mary.