On Saturday I did something I shouldn’t have done. Then I agonized on whether to post about it or not. Well, here I am. Good, bad, and ugly.
- For breakfast I ate donuts. I literally haven’t done this for YEARS. Yet I went and split donuts with Kepa leading me to eat 1.5 donuts for breakfast.
- For lunch I ate a taco salad at a mexican restaurant. I also ate chips, salsa, and cheese dip before my taco salad. I normally avoid cheese dip like it’s poison.
- For a snack I ate a little bit of everything at a baby shower I went to. I ate dips and crackers and breads and cookies, all the stuff I’ve been happily avoiding.
- For dinner I went to Chick-Fil-A and ordered a chicken sandwich with fries and sweet tea. And a brownie and I ate all of it.
Once my day got off to a bad start I never recovered. I’m usually pretty good about making my next meal a healthy one but not that day. I never got hungry that day. I made bad choices all day, was pretty much constantly full, and ate tons of food I haven’t been eating much of lately. I felt disgusting by the end of the day.
What’s worse is the next day I woke up and ACHED all over. I could barely get out of bed I felt so tired. I felt sluggish and weighed down and like I couldn’t move because everything hurt. It felt awful.
At first I thought I was getting the flu. I thought I was actually sick. I didn’t make the connection at first but after I thought about it I realized the only thing I had done differently was how I ate the day before and a lack of water.
I didn’t realize how BIG of an impact food choices made on my body, especially sugar and processed carbs. It made me a lethargic, tired, painful mess. My joints ached and I was so anxious my entire next day was wasted.
I realized I used to feel like that when I woke up all the time. I never do anymore, but this relapse in bad judgement made me realize it could be so easy to slip back into that lifestyle again. I think I’d rather not.
So maybe there was a little bit of self-sabatoge and stupidity (plain and simple) going on Saturday making such bad choices after getting so close to a goal. I’ve learned my lesson and am back on the path with a little more vigilance. And a lot less sugar.
Also, when I can afford it I’m going to try to get back in therapy because even though I’m no longer binge eating I’ve still got some major issues around food. Working on it. Clearly.