On Saturday I did something I shouldn’t have done. Then I agonized on whether to post about it or not. Well, here I am. Good, bad, and ugly.
- For breakfast I ate donuts. I literally haven’t done this for YEARS. Yet I went and split donuts with Kepa leading me to eat 1.5 donuts for breakfast.
- For lunch I ate a taco salad at a mexican restaurant. I also ate chips, salsa, and cheese dip before my taco salad. I normally avoid cheese dip like it’s poison.
- For a snack I ate a little bit of everything at a baby shower I went to. I ate dips and crackers and breads and cookies, all the stuff I’ve been happily avoiding.
- For dinner I went to Chick-Fil-A and ordered a chicken sandwich with fries and sweet tea. And a brownie and I ate all of it.
Once my day got off to a bad start I never recovered. I’m usually pretty good about making my next meal a healthy one but not that day. I never got hungry that day. I made bad choices all day, was pretty much constantly full, and ate tons of food I haven’t been eating much of lately. I felt disgusting by the end of the day.
What’s worse is the next day I woke up and ACHED all over. I could barely get out of bed I felt so tired. I felt sluggish and weighed down and like I couldn’t move because everything hurt. It felt awful.
At first I thought I was getting the flu. I thought I was actually sick. I didn’t make the connection at first but after I thought about it I realized the only thing I had done differently was how I ate the day before and a lack of water.
Woah.
I didn’t realize how BIG of an impact food choices made on my body, especially sugar and processed carbs. It made me a lethargic, tired, painful mess. My joints ached and I was so anxious my entire next day was wasted.
I realized I used to feel like that when I woke up all the time. I never do anymore, but this relapse in bad judgement made me realize it could be so easy to slip back into that lifestyle again. I think I’d rather not.
So maybe there was a little bit of self-sabatoge and stupidity (plain and simple) going on Saturday making such bad choices after getting so close to a goal. I’ve learned my lesson and am back on the path with a little more vigilance. And a lot less sugar.
Also, when I can afford it I’m going to try to get back in therapy because even though I’m no longer binge eating I’ve still got some major issues around food. Working on it. Clearly.
{ 15 comments }
Everyone falls off the wagon and I applaud how you’ve taken the shame out of it by opening up and talking about it. Sometimes I find that if I let the guilt consume me I take a long time to get back to healthy eating but if I shake it off and forgive myself I can resume my healthy eating habits much quicker and without feeling bad about myself.
True and I didn’t want that to happen. I’ve been eating good since then, but that day was definitely not good for me in any way.
I’ve done the same. It’s like you’ve worked so hard and then for some unknown reason, you just throw it all away for a day of ‘fun’ and go crazy. I still do it at times and honestly… I think it’s like an addict who goes on a binge and overdoses. It just feels good in the moment and BAM. There it is. You start sliding and before you know it, you’re at top speed. But you’ve done the right thing — you’ve acknowledged it and now can move on. That’s a MAJOR step. So many people can’t do it. Many times I can’t but I try to just to be honest. I don’t know what my trigger is, but I think its stress. I feel all happy and giddy and then I just go downhill. Then you just have to dust yourself off and get back to it. The funny thing is, since I’ve just accepted that I am going to do this now and then, it’s had less power over me. And that’s what you just did — you took the power from the guilt. You stepped up and said, yeah, I did it? So what? Now I’m back at it! SO THERE! HA! And I personally think that is a bigger win that seeing a loss on the scale at times. Keep doing what you’re doing — it’s working!
Thanks Jewlz. I did get back to what has been working after that day, but I clearly still have some work to do. We’ll both get there. ;)
One day of bad eating feels like terrible but if it’s only one day I feel better after a day of eating clean.
Applaud yourself for recognizing the pain both physically and mentally a day of bad eating did to you. Sometimes we need a day like that to remind us why we never want to go back to that lifestyle again. Don’t beat yourself up over it. A lot of positive came from it! Weight loss is so much more in our head than physical. You are amazing! Keep doing what you’re doing and thanks for your blog. You are an inspiration to us!
Good on ya for confining it to one day. I know if I go more than a day or two eating crap I can feel it and it doesn’t feel nice! Just move on forward…
I have been guilty of those days too. At least you have acknowledged it and are ready to move on to better choices. You will feel good about getting back on track and can make up for one bad day. Hang in there.
Have had many days like this – hang in there. I always try and focus on starting fresh the next day – it’s super hard, especially when all you want to do is beat yourself up! Acknowledging a bad day, is even harder. So give yourself credit for being honest with yourself!
alicia´s last [type] ..motivation monday: healthy self challenge & the jelly bean race
Tomorrow is a new day, truly. You haven’t set yourself back, you haven’t put your goal out of reach by your eating today. You would need to eat like this all the time, every day, for days, weeks, to do that.
Believe me- I understand that ‘out of control’ feeling. Its awful. But you have the power to stop the cycle; you have before, and you can now. You are powerful!!
So please wake up tomorrow refreshed, anew. Clean slate. You CAN do this! Also, do not weigh yourself for several days as you will have salt bloat and there is no point in “punishing” yourself by weighing yourself.
My last two days have been similar. Bf wanted to get pizza for the Super Bowl, and I went along with it. I ate way too much pizza last night, then when bf took my car this morning, and I couldn’t go grocery shopping, I ended up eating too much pizza again because there was nothing else in the house really. In two days I really, really messed up. Tomorrow I WILL be back on track and so will you Mary! One bad day does not have to equal a week, but I know you know that. :)
Deb´s last [type] ..Monday Day 479 Food Diary
OMG, is that a BACON donut???? You really had a day, huh? But I know you’ll be back at eating healthy and getting exercise. It’s good when we get immediate feedback from our bad choices. Helps us realize how much better it is to stay away from those foods that aren’t awesome energy providers to our body. It was a valuable lesson for you, no? :-)
Haha yeah, maple bacon. ;)
I can totally relate to the self-sabatoge when close to goal. I love that you are accountable here and realized how the food made you feel physically bad. I think putting it here, makes you more accountable and more able to reflect on your choices. Today is a new day, you will get to goal!
Days (the 2+ days following with hangover-like symptoms…) like that serve to remind us why we work so hard to avoid them in the first place. I have the same bad habit–if I start my day with bad food, I remain angry with myself all day and make MORE poor food choices. It’s so dumb. My husband likes to treat our kids to a donut on a weekend morning every now and then, and I have to remind him to not get me anything. Donuts taste so good, but like every other delicious baked good, I have to remind myself that the messed up blood sugar and weight gain is NOT worth the few seconds it takes to taste it. Sometimes I have take a bite, taste it, then spit it out. Pathetic? Yes. Does it work? Yes.