When Melissa McCarthy was on the Ellen Show recently she told a story about a critic who wrote a bad review of her film Tammy. He wrote the review focused on how she looked in the movie rather than any other aspect.
Apparently she then met this reporter in person and confronted him when he claimed the review was his. She asked if her would ever do that to a man.
He came up to me, and I was surprised that he talked to me and I said, “Would you do that to a man? If John C. Reilly played a really broken-down character and looked terrible?” I put a lot of time and effort having her completely not look like she cared about herself; it was part of how I felt she felt on the inside. I said, “Would you ever say that to a man?” And he said, “Well, I mean, you really looked bad.”
Clearly he just didn’t understand her point. What I love is that instead of walking away in frustration, Melissa asked if he had a daughter and tried to make her point in another way.
She told him I hope you don’t have a daughter. When he spoke about his children in a loving and caring way she explained that if his daughter came home because she was told she couldn’t have a job because she’s unattractive, then he would never want that to happen. (Of course not!)
Melissa then said, “Just know every time you write stuff every young girl in this country reads that and they just get a little bit chipped away.” It’s so true. Every comment about other women is another message to girls about how they are meant to look and act.
As she further explained, our culture doesn’t even consciously think about the ways we tear down women like this. “We tear down women in this country for all these superficial reasons, and women are so great and strong.” She’s so right! Comments like this are accepted and made all the time unfortunately. We base a lot of women’s worth on how they look.
I loved that Ellen and Melissa ended with talking about the need to build each other up and Melissa acknowledged how Ellen does this. It’s one of the reasons I’ve always loved the Ellen Show (and she’s just funny).
Last night before going to sleep I watched the video that had shown up in my Facebook feed multiple times. Here it is in case you haven’t seen it yet:
Take the time to think about your comments before you make them. Think about ways to build up the women around you instead of tearing them down chip by chip. You don’t have any need or responsibility to comment on someone’s appearance negatively…. so just don’t. Instead give a compliment or ask yourself why you feel the need to criticize. The world could use more people with positive mindsets building each other up rather than people criticizing each other.
Remember today and in your daily life to build each other up. <3