A Merry Life | Weight Loss Blog - Healthy Living - Fitness - Food » Body Image & Positivity

“At Least I’m Not Obese”

Mary — Tue, 29 Nov 2011 22:47:17 +0000

It’s been on several blogs and fitness news sites now, but in case you haven’t already heard: a new Gallup poll of over 1,000 adults found that the average American weighs about 20 pounds more than the average American did 20 years ago.

Surprised? I wasn’t. And I don’t think you were either.

The study explained that not only has the actual weight increased but so has our perception of what our ideal weight should be. That has increased almost 10 pounds over 20 years, possibly in part to the actual expanding waistlines.

I wasn’t going to write about this little nugget of news because I don’t find it particularly helpful or anything. But I do find the questions attached to it interesting… mainly this one:

Is being overweight more acceptable today?

The answer in my opinion is yes. Although some people are unluckily judged and teased for being overweight I’ve found that in general it’s more accepted these days. Perhaps it’s because so many of us are overweight that culturally we have shifted to accept a few more pounds on people (this isn’t everyone as some people are and will always be judgmental and rude about overweight people).

I think this cultural shift can be summed up in one single phrase that I’ve heard hundreds of times from many different people from many different walks of life:

At least I’m not obese.

It’s the ultimate justification for an overweight person. It’s also an example of how being overweight is more acceptable today. It’s okay to be overweight now for this reason – while it was previously looked down upon it is now accepted because there is the much worse condition of obesity.

Is being obese or super obese more acceptable today? NO WAY. Not even close. Watch The Biggest Loser for one season and you will see the major contempt for obesity on display even from the obese people themselves. There is a new villain in society – obesity – that lets us all feel better about being *just* overweight.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the phrase “At least I’m not obese” lately. I’ve read it on more blogs than I can count. It’s generally used when a blogger gains a few pounds or comes to realize they don’t want to push themselves to lose the last five vanity pounds. People usually always agree with the statement and with reason, as the person might be overweight but usually isn’t faced with major health risks.

Personally, I hate the phrase and mentality of “At least I’m not obese.” Perhaps it makes overweight people feel more accepted in society or happy with their own bodies but it is also a jab at those of us who are or were obese. It’s a subtle way to insult obese people in an effort to make everyone else feel better about themselves. How is that a good thing?

I don’t know, maybe I’ll feel differently when I’m finally not technically classified as “obese” from my BMI. Moving from morbidly obese to just obese was pretty exciting, so maybe the jump to just overweight will have me screaming from the rooftops “At least I’m not obese!” Or maybe not. Actually, definitely not because I wouldn’t want to say something so insulting.

What are your thoughts on the study? Do you think it’s more acceptable to be overweight these days? Do you ever use the phrase “At least I’m not obese”? Why?

“At Least I’m Not Obese” is a post from: A Merry Life! If you aren't reading it via RSS or on amerrylife.com it has been stolen!!

New Hair & Tattoo

Mary — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 04:08:50 +0000

I mentioned before that with my changing identity came a new look. After the wedding I felt like making some physical changes that made me feel almost like a new person.

New Haircut

Despite getting my hair cut almost a week ago I’ve still not shared a photo online. Oops?

Well here it is, via the very first phone photo!

I’m back to the short hair that I’m more comfortable with. My hair was the longest it has ever been – ever – for the wedding. I like that but in practice spent most of my days with hair in a ponytail or bun because it took too long and too much to style it. I much prefer short hair because it’s easier for me to work with and it better fits my quirky, fun personality.

The only problem I have with my hair now is that it is an awkward length for working out. I can’t quite put it in ponytails and I hate it flopping around in my face. So far I’ve just bobby pinned it back but I’m going to try to figure out better solutions.

New Tattoo

My other new change is my new tattoo.

I’ve wanted a tattoo for ages and this one felt appropriate after the wedding.

Cute, right? It’s our symbol. Internet heart. :)

It is on the inside of my wrist so it’s available for me to see or show people at any time but it’s not immediately noticeable. It’s also very easy to cover with clothing or makeup and jewelry in case I’m ever in a situation where it needs to be covered. That seems unlikely given my career path but I did give it some thought when I decided to get a tattoo in a visible place.

I actually gave this tattoo a lot of thought. I’ve wanted it since getting engaged really but made myself wait to make sure I really did want it. My rule for tattoos is to make sure you wait at least 6 months after the first idea for the tattoo and make sure you still want the same thing. I still want one other tattoo (three stars on my foot or ankle representing my mom, grandma, and half sister who have all guided me and taught me life lessons that carry my forward) but I’m waiting for that one.

The only person I was worried about when I got a tattoo was my mom. But when I showed it to her she said, “You know I wouldn’t get one but it looks good on you. It looks like it’s drawn on and you draw things on yourself all the time. I like it.” She was won over very quickly which is great because her opinion means a lot to me.

New Look

Overall I feel very confident and happy with my new hair, tattoo, and look. It feels very cool and very authentic to me. A lot of my own journey to health and happiness is letting go of what I *should* be or *should* do and just doing what feels right to me. This was a big step in exactly that.

New Hair & Tattoo is a post from: A Merry Life! If you aren't reading it via RSS or on amerrylife.com it has been stolen!!

Which Body Shape Are You?

Mary — Wed, 28 Sep 2011 16:45:09 +0000

After all the talk yesterday about booty, body shape, and body image, I’m curious… what body shape are you?

(No clue the original source of the sketch. Found it on Tumblr.)

I love this sketch that illustrates the different body shapes. Apple. Pear. Hourglass. Rectangle.

Which body shape are you? Do you like your body shape I’m clearly a pear and I like it. ;)

Which Body Shape Are You? is a post from: A Merry Life! If you aren't reading it via RSS or on amerrylife.com it has been stolen!!

I Have A Big Butt, I Can Not Lie

Mary — Tue, 27 Sep 2011 16:45:24 +0000

Between burpees and extra squats yesterday… my butt is sore this morning.

Really, really sore. I’ve been stretching the muscles back there and dreaming of a foam roller.

I’ve been thinking a bit about my butt lately because it’s been looking… good. Squats do very good things to your butt, I think. They might make it bigger but they make it more shapely and nice looking. My butt has undergone major improvements lately.

Remember when I posted that picture of myself a week ago? I got quite a few comments and messages about my backside.

My favorite was from Diana at Front Yard Foodie:

Oh my gosh you looks SO good! All flat up front with a sexy badunkadunk. hehe

Her comment made me giggle. (It also made me feel strange about talking about my butt on the internet. But here I am, dedicating a whole post to it. My life feels strange sometimes.) But her comment also made me happy because it’s totally true.

I’m never going to have big boobs unless I go the surgery route (and I highly doubt that will ever happen). I’m never going to have a small booty either. My pear shaped body likes to keep a little extra padding on my lower half. I’m okay with my shape despite the general media consensus that it’s a horrible shape to have.

Seriously, I’ve never understood when girls ask “Does this make my butt look big?” They want the answer to be no but why not let it be yes? What’s so wrong with having a big butt? Or a butt at all? Aren’t there whole songs dedicated girls like us? Sure not everyone finds this body part super attractive but with 6 billion people in the world you will never, ever be attractive to every single one of them. And with curvier role models (loose term by all means) like J Lo and Kim Kardashian (see what I meant about the term “role models”?) the body shape with a bigger butt isn’t all that crazy anymore but instead reached a place of seeexi.

Maybe I watched one too many tv shows recently with the same played out comedy routine of a girl asking if something made her butt look big. I’m over that question being in the media and in our minds. Positive body image is hard to keep a hold of when you are the girl at home watching tiny girls on tv asking why their very small butts look big. That’s part of why I don’t watch much tv anymore and why I’m all about drawing some positive energy from the gym and the blog.

Every body type is awesome, small butts and big butts alike.

I’ve ranted long enough about butts and body image. Now it’s time for you to do something. Or three things.

1) Leave me your thoughts in the comments.

2) Go do some squats.

3) Watch this video.

Have a great day! Don’t sit on your butts too much!

I Have A Big Butt, I Can Not Lie is a post from: A Merry Life! If you aren't reading it via RSS or on amerrylife.com it has been stolen!!

Realistic Expectations

Mary — Wed, 07 Sep 2011 16:45:51 +0000

My body is starting to feel more compact. More solid. More capable. More of everything I want it to be.

Except maybe skinny, but honestly I left that idea in the dust about 5 years ago.

I have realistic expectations about my body and what it can do and what it can be. At least, I try. Catch me in some weak moments and I might not be so sure… but for the most part I’m very realistic about things and just want to be healthy and active.

That’s why it makes me sad to sometimes see things like this.

I know this cartoon is supposed to be a funny joke, but it makes me sad.

I know a lot of people who feel like this.. trying so hard to be something they never can be. It’s important to keep realistic expectations about your body!

It’s awesome to try your very best to be the best version of you. We should be doing that! We should always be striving to look/feel/be our best. But sometimes we have to realize that you can’t change everything. You can’t be something you just aren’t meant to be, no matter how much you want it or how hard you work for it. Maybe you want to be a 5’11″ model thin woman. If you are 5’2″ and 200 pounds, that isn’t going to happen, no matter how much work you put in. You have to be realistic sometimes.

Do you struggle with realistic expectations?

Today’s Workout

I’m posting my workouts on this workout page, but I figured I could share them on the main part of the blog too. This week is a bit off from my normal routine but it was good anyway.

Bench Press: 45 – 12, 85 – 5, 5

Lat Pulldown: 40 – 12, 80 – 9, 9

Reverse Lat Pulldown: 40 – 12, 80 – 9, 8

Shoulder Press: 25 – 12, 50 – 6, 5

Cable Upright Row: 30 – 12, 60 – 9, 8

Tricep Pushdown: 40 – 12, 70 – 12, 80 – 7

Cable Bicep Curl: 30 – 12, 60 – 7, 6

I also warmed up on the bike. I had to cut the whole workout a little short so I could stop by the store to pick up some healthy eats for today. I bought a fruit salad with seasonal fruit, baby carrots, organic mixed lettuce, grilled chicken, and black bean and corn salsa. Delicious!

Today at lunch I’ll go for a walk and maybe after work too. Today is an awesome day full of healthy things! Have a great day! :)

Realistic Expectations is a post from: A Merry Life! If you aren't reading it via RSS or on amerrylife.com it has been stolen!!

Reading For Six Year Olds: Maggie Goes On A Diet

Mary — Thu, 18 Aug 2011 23:27:22 +0000

Someone on Twitter or Facebook (I forgot who…?) linked to something about a book on Amazon called Maggie Goes On A Diet.

The description of the book:

This book is about a 14 year old girl who goes on a diet and is transformed from being extremely overweight and insecure to a normal sized girl who becomes the school soccer star. Through time, exercise and hard work, Maggie becomes more and more confident and develops a positive self image.

Apparently this book written by a man about a young teen going on a diet to reach the land of happiness and self esteem is available for pre-order for the price of $10.85.

Please, for the love of all things holy, don’t buy it.

I obviously haven’t read the book yet since it’s not actually available. But the tags on Amazon from others who have noticed this book’s existence say all there is to say about it:

teaching kids to self-hate(42)

give your children neuroses(38)

sexist drivel(35)

if you hate your daughter(32)

anorexia bait(29)

body fascism(29)

dangerous abusive(28)

talentless hack writer(21)

sick(19)

waste of a good tree(17)

I agree with every single one of those descriptions. A book like this is a horrible idea when it’s targeted toward 6-14 year olds (and possibly younger since the reading level is 4-8) audience. Those girls already have enough problems and worries about their changing bodies. They don’t need to read books like these that give them even more complexes.

The author and publisher probably thought they were doing a good thing. You know, helping all the sad fat little girls caught in the obesity epidemic. But the cover of the book along with the title are enough to make me want to cry for the children who will be forced to read this. Even if the contents do talk about healthy food, exercise, and positive self esteem (all good things!) the packaging and extra messages will speak louder than any words inside the book. It takes very little to trigger an eating disorder and this drivel has the ability to do that in many children.

Dieting is not a healthy choice for growing children. It’s just not. Even throwing the word diet out there to them is unhealthy, in my opinion. If you want to help with the child “obesity crisis” then target the parents. Teach them to make better choices – don’t start shaming children.

Another point that the book seems to make is that weight loss = happiness and success. That is not the case. I know lots of people who’ve lost weight and felt robbed because nothing really change. Happiness comes from the inside, not from your looks.

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about my future kids and what I want to teach them about being healthy. I want to teach them that food makes your body feel and work good when you make healthy choices. I want to teach them that exercise is fun and something you can enjoy. I want to teach them that no matter what their body looks like, living a healthy lifestyle is still worth it. I want to teach my future kids that self-confidence comes from being a good and strong person, not from what you look like. I want to teach them all the things I had to teach myself, growing up obese in a diet obsessed world.

Since I’d rather look for solutions and what I’d do instead… How about instead of Maggie Goes On A Diet you write a different book?

Maybe…

Maggie Tries New Foods (about eating new healthy foods)

Maggies Plays Soccer (about discovering soccer and becoming a star without dieting)

Maggie Makes Friends (about an overweight girl NOT ashamed of her body, but popular)

I believe it’s possible to teach kids about living a healthy life without shaming them or pushing them towards an eating disorder.

Don’t make or read a book for pre teen girls about body image and dieting. Just don’t.

What are your thoughts on this new book?

Reading For Six Year Olds: Maggie Goes On A Diet is a post from: A Merry Life! If you aren't reading it via RSS or on amerrylife.com it has been stolen!!

FAT: The Dirty Word

Mary — Mon, 02 May 2011 03:27:31 +0000

Bouncing around on Tumblr is this image:

Interesting. It refers mostly to Operation Beautiful, which I’ve supported since it started. I think there is a lot of negative self-talk that goes on in women’s minds that is hardly ever addressed so the idea behind the movement is a positive thing especially for younger girls who are developing their self-esteem. But this cartoon made me think twice about the references to weight and fat in those positive post-it notes.

It does have a point.

I’ve always hated when I say “I’m fat” and someone tries to convince me otherwise. “Oh, you aren’t fat!” I never know what to say to those people because I’m not insulting myself – I literally am fat. Does refuting an obvious fact makes someone feel better? For me it just feels awkward. I am fat. I am okay with that. I still want to be healthier so I can live a long life and have lots of babies, but being fat isn’t the end of the world for me. I’m still awesome. I wear bikinis sometimes. I wear cute clothes (when I can afford them). I’m not gross. People find me upbeat and friendly and enjoy being around me. Fat in itself isn’t negative. It’s not an insult and we should stop using it like an insult (I feel the same way about the word gay).

Fat is a descriptive word, not a bad word.

One of my favorite responses on tumblr said this: ”Reject the idea that one must be beautiful to have self-worth; that women are not interesting if they are not attractive and pretty. Call it ‘no diet talk’ instead of ‘no fat talk’.”

Agreed. Diet talk needs to end. It’s the constant barrage of diet talk that has ruined a lot of women’s lives and self-esteem. Let’s end that please.

What are your thoughts on the word fat? Is it a dirty or negative word for you?

FAT: The Dirty Word is a post from: A Merry Life! If you aren't reading it via RSS or on amerrylife.com it has been stolen!!