Last night More To Love came on and I tuned in to the last 30 minutes of the show. I am always interested in watching something that relates to size and possibly fat acceptance. At least I thought the show might touch on those subjects, since it bills itself as “one regular guy’s search for love among a group of real women.”
The women on the show are overweight, sure, but they are all quite pretty. I know several guys that would love to date any one of them. I liked the fact that the women were all so cute, since it shows women of all sizes can be beautiful, which is something I firmly believe. That was my initial reaction when I turned the show on. Any positive feelings for the show quickly disappeared as I continued to watch.
While the show features normal, or even plus size, women it does little besides exploit their size. There is no size acceptance, unless you count the guy on the show who says things like, “Every girl in this mansion is totally my type.” One would hope so, since you are on this show with the intentions of proposing to one at the end. The man might accept their size, but the producers and even the girls themselves have trouble with it.
Let’s look at the shows creators/producers first. In their infinite wisdom they decided it would be a smart idea to not only list the woman’s age but her height and weight when she was talking to the camera. I honestly have no idea what they were thinking when they made this decision. Did they think it would be a good thing? Did they think the women would be proud to own their weight? Did they think no one would notice that this would NEVER fly on a show like the Bachelor? I’m not sure how this idea got approved.
It is clear by looking at the women on the show that they are bigger than most on television. There is no need at all to post their height and weight stats when they speak – except to bring the show’s focus back to weight and keep it firmly rooted there. If the producers wanted to have a show that was in fact a dating reality show for “average” people they could have done that without listing everyone’s weight. Instead they decided to focus the show on how big these women are, which is exactly why the women have had such trouble with dating in the past, or so they all say.
Speaking of the women on the show… please. I’m not sure if they possible could have found any women less secure and uncomfortable with their bodies. They must have screened women for a) beauty b) lack of confidence. For instance, the same girl that looks at the camera to say that the women on the show are there to show how beautiful, sexy, and attractive bigger women are later is saying, “You only have underwear? I have spanx and underwear.” Her attempts to show confidence earlier are completely negated by the later talk about her body and covering it up to make it more attractive. And she is one of the more confident ones. Other sad comments from the women included “I must look like a beached whale,” from the woman who jumped in the pool and “I think they are men out there that are man enough to say, Gosh I love that girl, even if people look at her funny” from a girl who had never been on a date. The lack of self-confidence among the women on the show is shocking. (Once again this falls partially back on the producers who no doubt found every body loathing comment they could to include in the final edit of the show.)
Even more shocking is how desperate all the women seem to find love and how critical they believe this reality show experience will be for them. The girl who had never been on a date combined lack of confidence with the desperate desire for love when she said, “I’m always scared its going to be a joke. I’m scared they are going to be doing it out of meanness.” [talking about going on a date] “This is my one chance to feel like I can be loved. If I get sent home I will get my heart broken.” Her one chance. As if this doesn’t work out there will never be another man to love her. The other women sounded similar: “I’ve struggled to find someone to love me as I am.” … “I’m always the bridesmaid, never the bride. I’m always the friend to the guys.” … “This is my last ditch attempt to really find love.”
The women who weren’t chosen the first round left the show in tears, talking about how they hoped they would find love one day despite this. With the majority of women on the show so strongly clinging to the idea that this is their LAST CHANCE, I wonder how they will ever survive once they are kicked off. Even on the first round of eliminations there are more tears shed than the late episodes of the Bachelor. Women who immediately get rejected on that show in the first round usually just chalk it up to life experience and move on. The women on More To Love are all balls of insecurity that have decided they will not find love ever if not for on this show.
My heart hurts for them.
Honestly, it does. I’ve been the insecure girl wondering if she would ever get a date or fall in love. I’ve also been the girl who came to her senses decided that the world would not end if that did not happen. I’ve been the girl that realized there are actually quite a few men who want to date me, bigger size and all. (And not just big guys either, which apparently the producers don’t think is possible.) I’ve been the girl that realized confidence is more important than size. Sure, I’ve been hurt and I’ve been rejected because of my size too. But I’m currently still bigger than all the women on that show and not at all worried about the fact that I’ll never find love. It would be quite a depressing life to quit my job to go on a reality dating show as my last ditch attempt to find love.
Even though I have been there I don’t completely understand these women. I just don’t. I don’t understand why they think the sleazy (he basically demanded kisses after just meeting the women) guy on this show is their last shot. He isn’t! He isn’t even cute! I don’t understand why they would break down crying on national television over this guy or any other reason. I want to go talk to all of them and tell them they can and will do better in life. I want to go and tell them that by acting the way they are they are reinforcing the stereotypes people have of the fat, lonely girl crying in the corner while comforting herself with food. All of us aren’t like that and it angers me to let these women perpetuate the stereotype.
But that is just my opinion, for what it is worth as a woman that is the relatively same size as contestants.
And now, I want to share some of the tweets I read while watching the show. This is a sampling of the ones I read.
@TiaPANJ More to Love is horrible. all big girls ain’t desperate, crying about some man, not confident. how dare they! and why dude ain’t fine???
@mwilliott Did anyone else notice that on ‘More to Love’ that the ladies who claimed they loved their bodies were all bawling their eyes out?
@wyattte This “More To Love” show has a good idea in theory, but it’s a bit too pigeonholing. And possibly too proud of itself.
@rockpapergoat “more to love” alternate title: fox lets d-bag chubby chaser exploit women with low self esteem
@panayiota Ugh. Watched ‘More to Love’. Not sure how I feel about this guy. And all these depressed women makes me depressed for society.
@sassyshortgirl Just watched “More To Love”… it’s refreshing to see REAL sized people on TV for a change instead of size zero barbie wannabes.
@neenerspb My prob. with More to Love is that they don’t have a mix or sizes. Or, why not a thin guy with heavier women?
@nicolevins “More to Love”: boring like “The Bachelor,” but with promise rings and exploitation of overweight girls. I am not comfortable with this!
@Meeshelmybell Those broads on “More To Love” all need some serious therapy. C’mon gals a little self love puhleeze!
So in the end I think the girls need to love themselves a little more and learn to show it, the producers need to ease up on the weight focus, and the sleazy guy needs to be replaced with someone cooler and much hotter. Once again, that is just my opinion, based entirely on the first show. What’s yours?