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A Merry Life

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“At Least I’m Not Obese”

November 29, 2011 by Mary

This post may contain affiliate links. Please read my disclosure for details.

It’s been on several blogs and fitness news sites now, but in case you haven’t already heard: a new Gallup poll of over 1,000 adults found that the average American weighs about 20 pounds more than the average American did 20 years ago.

Surprised? I wasn’t. And I don’t think you were either.

The study explained that not only has the actual weight increased but so has our perception of what our ideal weight should be.  That has increased almost 10 pounds over 20 years, possibly in part to the actual expanding waistlines.

I wasn’t going to write about this little nugget of news because I don’t find it particularly helpful or anything. But I do find the questions attached to it interesting… mainly this one:

Is being overweight more acceptable today?

The answer in my opinion is yes. Although some people are unluckily judged and teased for being overweight I’ve found that in general it’s more accepted these days. Perhaps it’s because so many of us are overweight that culturally we have shifted to accept a few more pounds on people (this isn’t everyone as some people are and will always be judgmental and rude about overweight people).

I think this cultural shift can be summed up in one single phrase that I’ve heard hundreds of times from many different people from many different walks of life:

At least I’m not obese.

It’s the ultimate justification for an overweight person. It’s also an example of how being overweight is more acceptable today. It’s okay to be overweight now for this reason – while it was previously looked down upon it is now accepted because there is the much worse condition of obesity.

Is being obese or super obese more acceptable today? NO WAY. Not even close. Watch The Biggest Loser for one season and you will see the major contempt for obesity on display even from the obese people themselves. There is a new villain in society – obesity – that lets us all feel better about being *just* overweight.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the phrase “At least I’m not obese” lately. I’ve read it on more blogs than I can count. It’s generally used when a blogger gains a few pounds or comes to realize they don’t want to push themselves to lose the last five vanity pounds. People usually always agree with the statement and with reason, as the person might be overweight but usually isn’t faced with major health risks.

Personally, I hate the phrase and mentality of “At least I’m not obese.” Perhaps it makes overweight people feel more accepted in society or happy with their own bodies but it is also a jab at those of us who are or were obese. It’s a subtle way to insult obese people in an effort to make everyone else feel better about themselves. How is that a good thing?

I don’t know, maybe I’ll feel differently when I’m finally not technically classified as “obese” from my BMI. Moving from morbidly obese to just obese was pretty exciting, so maybe the jump to just overweight will have me screaming from the rooftops “At least I’m not obese!” Or maybe not. Actually, definitely not because I wouldn’t want to say something so insulting.

What are your thoughts on the study? Do you think it’s more acceptable to be overweight these days? Do you ever use the phrase “At least I’m not obese”? Why?

Filed Under: Healthy Living


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Comments

  1. Marshmallow says

    November 29, 2011 at 5:22 pm

    I never say ‘At least I’m not obese’, because I *am* obese, but I’m not ashamed of it. I can’t be, it takes too much effort and energy which I need for everything else that goes on in my life ;)

    If someone tried to insult me by calling me obese, it wouldn’t hurt now, because they’d just be stating a fact. Other people though, I know, would be deeply hurt by this, so the phrase ‘at least I’m not obese’ does carry some sting.

  2. Morgan says

    November 29, 2011 at 5:54 pm

    It is hard to say if I think it is more acceptable – I guess it depends on who you are asking the question about. Do I think that overweight people find it to be more acceptable thanks to a “strength in numbers” type of mentality? Probably yes. But would I say that it is more acceptable among the media or by thin people? Nope, I wouldn’t. I think they find it just as easy as ever to ridicule and demean the overweight and obese, and they still don’t see it as a problem that can rank right up there with alcoholism for some.

    I also think that the phrase “at least I’m not obese” is, as you said, a way for people to feel better about themselves. And I think that at least some of those people who say it never think about what they are truly saying, which is that they are glad they don’t look like an obese person that they know. I don’t think that anyone reading your blog would look at you and say “At least I don’t look like Mary.” (I am using you as an example only because you said that your bmi is in the obese category – I have honestly never looked at your pictures and deemed you obese in my mind.) I think that some of those same readers might, however, use the phrase “At least I’m not obese” and not make the connection between the two. Does that make sense?

    • Mary says

      November 29, 2011 at 6:05 pm

      Thanks for not thinking I look obese! Haha. I think it bothers me because people don’t consider me obese (technically yes I am) but just overweight so I’ve had people say that to my face before. It’s a bit shocking when that happens… it’s like, uh, at least you’re not horribly fat like me? People don’t make the connection between saying that and obese people sometimes, especially when it’s borderline obesity, true.

      It’s all such an interesting thing to think about.

      • Morgan says

        November 29, 2011 at 6:11 pm

        Absolutely there is disconnect there. And I know that a lot of us suffer from people we know making derisive comments about fat people to our faces, whether because they don’t think of us that way or they just can’t understand what being overweight feels like, I don’t know. And I agree that it is all very interesting to think about – and sometimes hard to not be offended by! I have to try to remember that those comments people make are part of their issues, not mine.

        • Angie says

          November 30, 2011 at 1:23 am

          Some times the BMI terms get to me. Starting my weight loss journey I was nearing the morbid-obesity mark. But then I lost a good chunk of weight and looking in the mirror it was hard to consider myself obese even though that’s what the BMI said I was. The terms are relative at best. There are bodybuilders out there who are classified as overweight/obese just because of the amount of muscle they have on them!

          I have finally, just this past week, made it to a BMI of 29.9 which is now considered “overweight.” I cannot remember the last time I have been here.. highschool (17 yrs ago)?

          Great topic btw!

          • Morgan says

            November 30, 2011 at 9:57 am

            I totally think that we give way too much credence to the BMI – a standardized number system like that doesn’t work as a scale for extremely varied people – like Angie said, there are body builders who are categorized as obese due to all their muscle. And yet, I as much as any of us want to be placed in that “normal” weight category. Grrr.

  3. Jeremy Logsdon says

    November 29, 2011 at 5:54 pm

    Excellent post and excellent points.

    Y’know, I, too, have heard this sentiment quite often, and one place I’ve found that is (largely, not entirely) very nontolerant of the obese are the formerly obese. I’ve known more than a few people who used to be obese (or overweight) who became fit (or even merely less fat) who have horrible, nasty things to say about people who weigh as much or more than they used to. I don’t understand; if anything, I would expect someone who used to be there to have sympathy and understanding. Maybe it’s a fear-based response, I dunno.

    • Mary says

      November 29, 2011 at 6:06 pm

      I think that hatred of the obese from formerly obese people is a big expression of the former self-hatred that probably accompanied their being obese. Just a personal thought, no science or other knowledge to back that up. But I do notice that sometimes too.

  4. The Mrs @ Success Along the Weigh says

    November 29, 2011 at 6:18 pm

    Well I’m morbidly obese (still!) so I can’t say the whole ‘at least I’m not obese’ thing. Who knows how I’ll feel when I’m in a healthy range. I hope I wouldn’t lack that kind of empathy and instead hope I can say “I’m glad I’m no longer obese.” One thing I constantly try to keep in mind as I lose weight is to never lose empathy like I’ve seen far too many formerly obese people do and then get on their high horse to overweight/obese people like they’ve never been fat. I don’t wish being obese on anyone but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want people like that to regain a bit so they can learn the empathy lesson they obviously skipped on the way down.

  5. Amy says

    November 29, 2011 at 7:33 pm

    I’m doing the 2-3 pound dance around the Obese/Overweight line and it’s driving me insane. Why can’t my dance be underneath obese? It’s so frustrating and something that I have had a really difficult time getting away from. Once I am well within overweight, I know that I’ll still want to lose weight, but I’ll also feel much better about myself!

  6. Sagan says

    November 29, 2011 at 7:39 pm

    You know, when I was at my thinnest – still with a very healthy BMI – I had a few people say that they were worried that I was getting too skinny. It’s funny that no one EVER makes comments about my weight these days, even though I’ve gained 30 lbs. I really do think it’s because it’s more acceptable to be overweight – the weight that people used to be at, 50 years ago, is seen as thin these days.

    And I agree with you – the phrase “At least I’m not obese” really is just rude and insulting… and it’s an unhealthy attitude to keep up. We all need to learn to be a little kinder to each other and to ourselves (in a number of ways).

  7. Chasing Joy says

    November 29, 2011 at 9:27 pm

    I have been overweight since 5th Grade. I have always thought of myself as overweight, chubby, thick. But the reality is I am Obese. I can see how that phrase at least I’m not obese could be offensive. But being Obese is scarry because of the health and cultural impact. For example I can fit into ain airplan seat with no problem. But I still worry about it even when I’ve lost time since my last flight becaus I know I am obese. Overweight people don’t worry about such things. I look forward to not being Obese one day. Even if I have a few more to lose it will be good to not feel the fear that comes with Obesity.

    Thanks for pointing out how that phrase can be offensive. I never thought about it like that :-)

  8. Charlotte D. says

    November 29, 2011 at 9:52 pm

    Ive never actually heard people use the term, “At least I’m not obese.” I could see how that could be offensive. But, I also could see how that statement isn’t always said in an offensive light. For instance, a person who was once obese gains a few pounds and as a way to keep from getting discouraged tells themselves at least I’m not obese. Rather, at least I’m not back to where I’ve worked so hard to move from. I was obese and now I am considered “overweight”. I was extremely happy to cross that line. The reason being because I didn’t want all the health risks and self-conscious thoughts. I don’t however look at other obese or morbidly obese people with disgust or anything like that. I feel for those who have and are experiencing being overweight, obese, or even underweight. Personally, I’m not offended by the statement because I don’t want to be obese. I don’t even want to be overweight which is why I’m working towards not being so. There is too much risk with the extra weight. But I do agree with you Mary that those who use that statement as an excuse or to compare themselves to others rather than themselves is offensive. Thanks for the post….oh yeah, I do think being overweight is more acceptable to a lot of people, however there is still some stigma there.

  9. anna says

    November 30, 2011 at 12:19 am

    Hi! I really like your blog, thanks for inspiration!! :)
    Felt for starting a blog too, check out my healthy food blog; http://cookeat-love.blogspot.com/

  10. Hanlie says

    November 30, 2011 at 3:03 am

    I don’t know if it’s more acceptable. It’s certainly more common, but the media and its adherents still seem to treat excess weight it as a mortal sin. It seems to me the fatter the populations gets, the thinner the models – the ideal – gets.

    I’m “super morbidly obese”, so I guess I’ll first lose the super, then the morbidly, before I even get to the obese part. In my latest blog post I actually wrote about this – with my frame “normal” seems ridiculously low, so I may always be classified as “overweight”. I don’t think I will care about that all!

  11. HCG Jordan says

    November 30, 2011 at 5:18 am

    Hi,

    You can’t say that at least your not obese the important is you are healthy.. It means that your are physically fit not engaging sedentary lifestyle..

  12. SUZY says

    November 30, 2011 at 7:01 am

    This is an extremely thought-provoking blog, Mary. As usual, your insight is rifle-shot. There is another facet – that of simply being overweight AND out of shape – the two are not always synonymous. It’s a progression, and a deadly one. All of us know that even a few extra pounds add drag to the body – and working out or walking, or doing exercise in front of the TV isn’t that difficult. It’s that comfort zone in our minds – different levels apply. I ignore my 40-50 pounds usually – though in my early life I was an athlete and a good one, I don’t feel as well, am not as mobile, and am shortening my functional life. Why won’t I get moving? That’s the question.

  13. Caroline Calcote says

    November 30, 2011 at 7:12 am

    Great post Mary. I really hadn’t thought about the difference between the acceptability of being “overweight” versus “obese”. I do think you are right that “overweight” is much more accepted than “obese”. I don’t think I’ve ever said, “At least I’m not obese” on my blog or out loud, but I know I have thought it. Having formerly been morbidly obese and now being what I consider a healthy weight, but still technically classified as “overweight”, I KNOW that when I have gained a few pounds I still think, “Well, at least I’m not back where I started. Time to turn this around.” It’s a very complicated and difficult subject, I think. I just have to remind myself not to judge people based upon their appearance, as you never know what someone’s story might be.

  14. Kevin says

    November 30, 2011 at 8:57 am

    I tried flipping it around in my head a little. Does it change at all if you’re having a bad day and you say to yourself, “At least I don’t have cancer?”

    I mean, I wouldn’t say that in front of someone who DOES have cancer, but around cancer-free (/non-obese?) people, is it still offensive? Or is it just … true?

    • Mary says

      November 30, 2011 at 2:15 pm

      Interesting way to think about it. It’s actually a true statement in all situations… but is that a positive way to think? Maybe it is on bad days like you said.

  15. KCLAnderson (Karen) says

    November 30, 2011 at 9:48 am

    My answer: the only thing that matters is that I practice understanding, acceptance, and tolerance of myself, which leads to understanding, acceptance, and tolerance of others, no matter what the issue. I believe that if we all practiced this our general health (physical, emotional, spiritual) would improve, and, as a result, many of us would lose weight. We might not fit society’s narrow definition of what our bodies “should” look like, we might not all be “athletes,” but we would be healthier.

  16. Irina G (Fit Flexitarian) says

    November 30, 2011 at 10:50 am

    I think for me is that the interesting thing is when people say “at least I’m not obese”, they don’t often KNOW what the actual weight for obesity is. When I first started losing weight in 2005, I was 231lbs. Not obese by MOST standards but on my 5’2″ frame, I had just crossed over into obesity. I didn’t look it and most of my friends were utterly shocked that a) I weighed that much and b) that I was technically obese, but I think this goes back to your point that being overweight is more acceptable these days. My fear is always for those people who say “well, at least I’m not obese” but, like me, they actually are. That’s the scariest place to be.

    • Mary says

      November 30, 2011 at 2:13 pm

      Good point.

      Also, we are the same height! :)

      • Irina G (Fit Flexitarian) says

        November 30, 2011 at 4:09 pm

        hehe yay! Hello short buddy. ;-)

  17. Wendy Rahilly says

    November 30, 2011 at 12:03 pm

    In my opinion, it is okay to be a little overweight. In fact, a few pounds on your bones is healthy. You are not starving yourself and you are providing your body with the fuel it needs to function.

    Being obese,however, is NOT healthy and it is extremely important to figure out a solution to it which usually includes seeing a doctor, going on a healthy diet plan and exercise regimen.

  18. hi says

    November 30, 2011 at 3:55 pm

    Hey Mary,
    I see your points, but I think it is very debatable. It definitely depends who you are as well. It depends upon age, gender, race, etc. I think it may be more acceptable for a middle-aged mother or grandmother to be overweight but if you are an overweigh teenage girl you are probably going through hell. I have body issues and I am in the normal range…so its still important to remember that our society is OBSESSED with being thin and tons of girls have body image issues, evens one that have BMIs that are too low!! But thats my input :)

    • Mary says

      November 30, 2011 at 5:18 pm

      Oh definitely. But teenage girls (and younger even) have body issues whether they are too fat, too thin, or perfectly normal. It seems to be the age where body issues run rampant no matter what girls actually weigh.

  19. Danielle says

    December 2, 2011 at 11:23 am

    I would agree that it’s more acceptable to not be thin these days, in an “it is what it is” kind of way, but I think most people would still say they’d rather be thin or, at the very least, they’re exposed to pressure to be thin. I think there are more people these days who accept themselves at any size, but unfortunately, they are not the majority.

    As far as the term “obese,” I’m not sure that most people know where to draw the line between overweight and obese unless it’s extremely obvious (eg, someone 50 lbs. or more overweight). I think some people throw around the term obese for anyone, overweight, or obese, as a way to be extra insulting.

    I think it’s dealing with how much someone weighs in relation to how much you weigh–like a thin person might call someone who’s simply overweight “obese” as an insult, or a heavy person might call someone who weighs 20 lbs. more than them “obese,” whether the classification is accurate in either case or not.

    And then I think some people may think “overweight” is a temporary condition, while “obese” is a negligent lifestyle thing. So the person who says “At least I’m not obese” could be commenting on detrimental behavior that they imagine a heavy person might have (whether the person actually acts in that way or not), implying that they, as merely overweight, have more self-control and their excess pounds situation is not going to last forever.

  20. Christine says

    December 6, 2011 at 3:22 pm

    I don’t find it helpful to focus on the extremes of what I was or could be, so a phrase like “at least I’m not obese” isn’t helpful for me. I have to maintain perspective on where I am at right now, otherwise I won’t continue to progress. I have been working on a healthy lifestyle and weight loss for about 10 years now, but I don’t think I would have if I gave myself permission to set low expectations of myself.

Trackbacks

  1. “Us Versus Them” Isn’t Helpful When It Comes To Health | KCLAnderson (Karen) says:
    December 2, 2011 at 3:15 pm

    […] Uncategorized Emmy from Skinny Emmy and Mary from A Merry Life  recently wrote excellent blog posts referencing an article entitled “Is Being Overweight […]

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