I’m out of the 240s this week finally, and just barely.
Weight: 239.6
Previous Weight: 241.2
Weight Loss This Week: -1.6
Weight Loss Total: -12.2
Woohoo! I’m still rocking the 1-ish pounds lost per week. Slow, but steady. I’m trying to claw my way back out from the darkness I fell into over the last year. Moving home and gaining weight again was not the most fun period of my life. Now that I see a light at the end on this, things are turning back around and I’m sure that once I leave this place for good things will only get better.
When I think about this point in my life all I can think about is wanting to reach the point that is normal. As I lose weight I think about finally reaching a normal weight. I think about how I will feel to be normal. I wonder when I will feel normal. What event will cement the fact in my mind? What one thing will make me feel normal? Will it be a number on the scale? Will it be wearing a certain size clothes?
To be honest, though the thought “I want to be normal” pops in my head I don’t even understand what it means. I’ve never been thin, or “normal” sized. Last time I was the proper weight for my size and age I was in kindergarten when I was an adorable five year old. But as an adult I have never been even close to the recommended weight for my short stature. Sometimes I wonder if it is even something I can reach. I wonder if it will take me almost two years, or ten, or if it really is unattainable for me. Regardless, I’m going to keep trying.
Normal is not a size or a number on the scale, imho. It’s a healthy lifestyle. The numbers follow when you change what is “normal” for you.
It’s taken me years, but I am finally getting to the point where I consider how I live with food and my feelings (not withstanding my current problems) about my weight to be “normal”. Keep working on changing your habits and you will find your normal!
Sarah’s last blog post..Did I speak too soon?
Wooohooo! 1 lbs a week is awesome. For me normal means that my weight stops factoring in to day to day ideas. I can go to a store without worrying that it won’t have my size, sit in a seat without worrying about spillover.
MackAttack’s last blog post..One month later.
I agree with the other commenters: Normal is more a state of mind than it is the number on your scale or on the waistband of your pants. For me, I felt normal after I lost 80 pounds, though I don’t think there was a “moment” that it happened. I still have another 30 pounds to go, and it’s a struggle because I don’t always feel like I’m in a fat suit (though I still have days…).
Being able to cross my legs without wanting to gouge my eyes out sure made me feel normal!
Kimberly’s last blog post..My Turning Point
we have so much in common. I’ve never been a normal weight. ever. I was the cute little chubby 3 year old with pinchable cheeks. Overweight my entire life until now. And I still don’t feel normal. Nope, now, as sad as it sounds, in the back of my mind, I am convinced I have fooled the world into thinking I am normal, into believing I am thin and that only I know I am not.
I completely agree with Sarah, you will never get there by concentrating on your weight. I promise. You won’t. Only until you really figure out how to be happy with yourself and who you are will you feel normal. Your journey right now is not just about the scale, this is about you.
You are doing awesome – keep reflecting on everything you feel. That is the base for so much growth!!!
Jen, a priorfatgirl’s last blog post..Attack of the memories
@Jen
That is one of the things I am kind of “afraid” of – not feeling normal even when I reach a “normal” weight. I’m not really as concerned about what a scale says as how I feel, and if I will always be caught up in thinking either I am the fat girl or I’ve tricked everyone into thinking I am not then that feels quite hopeless. It’s not that I don’t feel normal in my life, or personality, or what I do… its just that I feel so abnormal because of my body. But when you mention the struggle mentally you have even now I do start to wonder if more of my battle will be mental than physical.
Its a great achievement and you should try your level best to be normal. you have asked the question that when you will feel normal so it depend on you that what you what. Great effort.
Congratulations on your weight loss, you will definitely succeed if you stick at it. You will have plenty of ups and downs on your journey but it will all be worth it in the end when you reach your target.
Look forward to seeing more weight loss results from you Mary in the coming weeks and months. Good Luck!
Keith @ My Body Fat Blog’s last blog post..Tuna And Water Diet – The Result
I so hope you take this in the way it’s intended but I DONT EVER WANNA BE NORMAL and you never will be :)
your weight? sure.
your spunk laughter snarky wit and creativity? I hope never.
Yes it will take time for your head to catch up with how your body looks—–BUT IT WILL.
Miz’s last blog post..Halfway through year: goals revisited (video post).
Congrats on the victory on the scale!! I agree with Mizfit though, I don’t think really want to be normal. Healthy – yes! Normal – that’s boring. :-) Besides, what is normal? Mary, just keep focused, as you are, and you will get to the place you want to be. It is certainly achievable. The time it takes to get there is somewhat up to you, but if every day is an improvement over the last, then you are making progress. Congrats again! I am proud of you!
South Beach Steve’s last blog post..Day 351 – Long, long day!
Congratulations!!!
So conflicted about the “normal” thoughts… I get where you’re coming from but at the same time I’m with some of the others that “normal” can be limiting. Regardless of what we’re striving for, though, we have to live for today and who we are right now rather than wait around for normal to happen. I think that you’re pretty damn good at “being present” and all- and THAT’S the real challenge!
Sagan’s last blog post..Poll: What kind of lifestyle diets have you tried?
Mary, I’ve got a lot of respect for you. You’re a strong young lady who never gives up, and you know how to pick yourself up when you get down. Keep at it. The diligent are always rewarded!
Yum Yucky’s last blog post..Taste Test: Lean Cuisine Pasta Romano with Bacon
Well done on the loss!
I don’t want to use the term “normal” – it reminds me of conforming and mediocrity and I know that that’s not good for me! What is normal anyway? Instead I’m just going to keep going forever and ever. At some point I will reach a healthy weight and an acceptable level of fitness and I’ll certainly take note of that fact, but I’ll still keep on going!
Hanlie’s last blog post..Ain’t no mountain high enough
Awesome job, Mary! Maybe it’s been slow and steady, but this pace for a year or so will get you where you want to be! Plus, it’s been proven that people who lose weight quickly almost always gain it back. You are losing weight slowly and giving your lifestyle a chance to change, which statistically multiplies your chances of keeping it off!
As far as feeling normal, I don’t think anyone ever does, especially women. You just need to get to a point where you feel healthy, active and no longer face obesity-related health risks. Everything else is just self-confidence related, in my opinion.
Hi Mary! I’m almost in the same boat-I began a weight loss program literally last week-through Dr. Bharmota in Dublin, OH. I’m 37 years old and weighed- 240 I lost 7 pounds my first week and I’m now 233! I’m documenting my journey too! We can cheer each other on! The diet that she offers is NOT a scam-but a lifestyle change to make you rethink HOW and WHAT you put in your mouth-I needed help-but hopefully I’m on the new path to a new me! Are you exercising? If so, what are you doing?
Camryn Smith’s last blog post..Day 5
Im not sure there is any real such thing as normal. And normal is boring. Of course, how many billion of times have I wished I was normal?? Lol. But being abnormal and unique is better. And congrats on the 1.6.
@Camryn
Congrats! I’m glad you are changing your life too! I will definitely be around to cheer you on. :) I am exercising, usually at least 30 minutes of cardio everyday, some days more. I also do strength training 3-4 times a week.
Congratulations on everything you are doing for yourself, Mary. As you can see from some of the comments you’ve received, a lot depends on how you define “normal.” For some people it is boring, for some it is stress-free. If you define it as boring (or any other unwanted way) you won’t get there! We hear that subconscious mind chatter more than we know!
As you know, I lost more than 70 pounds and I’ve kept that weight off 9+ years now. I’ve learned a lot from my weight loss clients too. Here’s what I’ve found most of them want: 1) to feel confident 2) to feel comfortable in their skin 3) to be true to themselves regardless of what anyone else says (no guilt over what they’ve achieved – to really own it) 4) to have their outsides match their insides and 5) to be free of struggle around food. If that’s “normal” for you, go for normal.
For me, I also wanted to feel comfortable with my weight – I wanted it to be easy to maintain. That’s one of the tests I have for whether a particular weight is good for you or not. If it’s hard to maintain, you’ll know it, the struggle will be there, and it won’t be comfortable.
I think everyone has their own “true core body” – I’ve had clients stop losing weight at higher weights than they thought they would, and feel totally comfortable. I recently had a client listen to my True Core Body CD several times and decide she hadn’t lost enough weight and her body would feel better smaller.
These questions are highly unique and I support everyone finding their own “normal” or “true body” or “healthy home.” When you get there, you will feel like you’re home. It will feel so good! I wish it for you!
Pat Barone, CPCC, PCC
“America’s Weight Loss Catalyst”
I’m with many of your other readers, Mary, in being conflicted re the word “normal.” I wonder if the word “comfortable” might be relevant, too. At least a word to be considered in trying to define what normal is. It can be much more individual and flexible, which for me is ideal. I do like your meandering mind. It’s leading you to some good places, sounds like. :)
Marsha @ Green Mountain at Fox Run’s last blog post..Eat to Succeed at Your July 4 Food Fest
For me, “normal” was my year in college, when I was 100 pounds lighter than I am now, and constantly playing sports. I just miss how I felt, and how life was so… well, free.
Art’s last blog post..My legs hurt.
Congrats on saying goodbye to the 240s. You won’t have them to deal with anymore.
The really cool thing about all of this is that you get to define normal for yourself. And then re-define it as your desires and wants change. It’s the best part of all, at least for me. :)
Cammy@TippyToeDiet’s last blog post..Progress Check-Tippy Toe 500
I totally get it. Although I was actually skinny in high school (5’9″ tall and 150-160lbs), I never felt thin. I also didn’t have much muscle. When I first started losing weight, I had that high school weight in mind as a goal, but I’ve seen how my body has since changed, so I’ve decided not to set a specific goal. I want to feel healthy, look good, buy the clothes I want to buy, maintain my curves, accomplish the activity goals I’ve set for myself and continue to challenge my fitness.
Oddly enough, my body image has continued to change (in good and bad ways) throughout this process. Once I lost 50 lbs, I felt sooooo good about myself. My body image skyrocketed, getting dressed in the morning was easy and I really felt comfortable. After an 18month plateau (somewhat due to medical issues and just trying to get back on track), my body image dropped again and I became more self-critical. Now, I’m starting to feel good again, largely because even though the scale has shown minimal progress (6lbs down), I’ve challenge myself differently fitness-wise (started running).
My advice: continue to recognize your accomplishments, keep your eye on the ultimate goal but be sure to live mostly in the present. Getting to 175 may be the ultimate prize, but you’ll have hundreds of mini-accomplishments worth celebrating before you ever get there.
I know you don’t think of yourself as normal due to your weight BUT your attitude & how you feel about life & embrace life is way more normal that most people including me!
Reality TV shows like The Real World and The Apprentice pick sterotyped characters to appear on them week after week and season after season. The Biggest Loser, however, is a different make-up entirely, featuring normal yet overweight contestants to compete to see who can lose the most weight and be the “Biggest Loser”.
Don’t know much about the hit Reality TV show “The Biggest Loser”? Well here’s a little bit of information that may help you understand the whole concept of this challenge.