I put off reading The Secret
Basically The Secret
But all the secret is is the law of attraction. That means basically that you are like a magnet and you attract back to you whatever you put out there in the world. It goes in depth about how your thoughts literally create what is and will happen in your life. They take that line of reasoning too far in my opinion, especially using it to say that horrible events where many people die are allowed to happen because the people killed are on some sort of negative thought frequency. The Secret also isn’t the first book about the law of attraction and you can find a lot more if you just google the term.
Basically they consider your thoughts to attract more of the same, whether you are thinking good or bad things. But the idea is less specific thoughts and more about how you are feeling. How you are feeling is supposed to be indicative of how you are thinking, a feedback mechanism of sorts. This means you are supposed to feel good! All! The! Time! Because if you feel good obviously more good things will happen to you.
The three main points to the law of attraction (and getting absolutely everything you want):
- Know what you want and ask the universe for it.
- Feel and behave as if the object of your desire is on its way.
- Be open to receiving it.
And then it happens. Easy as that.
Reading the book I spent half my time thinking “that’s a great point!” and the other half thinking “bullshit!” For instance, in the section where they use weight loss as an example I had moments where I was thinking that what was in the book was smart, like this section:
You must feel good. You must feel good about you. This is important because you cannot attract your perfect weight if you feel bad about your body now. If you feel bad about your body that is a powerful feeling and you will continue to attract feeling bad about your body. You will never change your body if you ar critical of it and find fault with it, and in fact you will attract more weight to you. Praise and bless every square inch of your body. Think about all the perfect things about you. As you think perfect thoughts and feel good about you, you are on the frequency of your perfect weight, and you are summoning perfection.
and…
The definition of the perfect weight is the weight that feels good for you. No one else’s opinion counts. It is the weight that feels good for you.
I actually thought those were quite good points. But then of course it was preceeded and followed by these points where I just had to think it was complete crap.
The end of the story about my own weight is that I now maintain my perfect weight of 116 pounds and I can eat whatever I want. So focus on your perfect weight!
Yes, because losing weight is just as easy as thinking about it and it’s done. Right. Moving on. But this is the kind of thing I struggle with during the whole book. A few thoughts would be something I believed and found to be interesting but they were immediately followed by something I found to be stupid.
I don’t mean to sound cynical because I actually fully believe in the law of attraction and loved quite a few of the major points in this book. I believe I connected with the ideas because I’ve seen them at work in my own life. It’s almost scary how things have worked out in my life with me thinking about something and drawing it to me eventually. Personally there are a number of occasions where this has happened – the prolonged desire and thoughts about something I want have drawn it into my life. If I wanted I could explain those occasions and things in a number of other ways, but I honestly think the law of attraction fits best. The happier I’ve become and the more good thoughts I’ve had about things, the more good has come to me. That I can say with certainty.
I also love the section in the book about gratitude. I’m not going to say “Thank you” a hundred times each morning like they mention doing, but I do think gratitude is a powerful thing that we should utilize more often. In the book they say it’s the absolute way to bring more into your life. And that is so true! Sit down and make a list of things you are grateful for. Once you start feeling gratitude you feel more and more of it. When I make my own list I could keep going and going. Feeling grateful for one thing leads to feeling grateful for more things that you already have.
The book continues to break down The Secret
Here’s a short summary of points I liked and disliked
Dislikes:
- Focuses too much on YOU as if you are the center of the world
- Deals only in absolutes which are wrong in some cases
- Encourages feeling good to the exclusion of anything else
Likes:
- Encourages positive thinking and gratitude (good things!)
- Encourages feeling good (we often forget we should!)
- Encourages you to embrace and enjoy life (as it should be!)
And that’s about it for my review of The Secret
Have you read The Secret
Even though some points seem far fetched it really does work. This is a large part of how I help my clients lose weight. I also maintain my weight while eating anything I want because I know that I have no reason to fear weight gain anymore.
I agree that it works. However, I don’t agree with the eating anything you want losing weight thing. Some bodies respond to food differently and it’s not just all in your head like they (and maybe you?) are saying. At least that’s my thoughts on that part.
I wonder that maybe the ‘all they want’ changes. perhaps they ‘want’ to eat what’s right for their bodies. No one can eat tons and stay thin. Sorry, I’m opinionated today ;)
.-= katdoesdiets´s last blog ..My Day in Pictures =-.
You’re right! I learned how to stop overeating and absolutely love
high quality food. But I also drink beer when I want and have cookies most days. :)
You are right Kat, and that was my point, no one can eat tons and stay thin forever. It’s kind of false advertising to use that language when really what changes is the foods eaten (and desired).
Agree 100%. I am reading a book called the Body Fat Solution and it addresses “The Secret” a few times. Basically the Law of Attraction works but what it doesn’t talk about is that as you think about what you want your words and actions begin to follow. You tell yourself enough times that you want to be think (in a positive manner) then you start to be more active and eat better. It’s not magic. It is reprogramming your subconcious to bring healthy thoughts to your concious mind and replace unhealthy temptations.
.-= Micah´s last blog ..Become Aware of Eating Habits =-.
I haven’t read it but I did see the Oprah show about it some years ago. I think I would probably get the same things out of it as you did and review it similarly. I have read several bloggers talk about visualization and imagine it is similar. Dear universe… I am visualizing myself winning the lottery:)
.-= Karen@WaistingTime´s last blog ..A Little Birdie Said =-.
Yeah visualizing was a huge part of it too (that I totally forgot to mention). Visualizing is awesome and the reason why I create a vision board/write down my goals for the future. :)
I totally buy into the law of attraction for this reason alone: if you feel optimistic/ confident about whatever it is that you want, that energy will be visible to others and open up opportunities for you. Case in point: after a year of job searching unsuccessfully and not finding any job that I really liked, I paused my job search, reassessed what I wanted and then set out (with renewed energy and most-importantly, purpose) and ended up finding the perfect job with the best colleagues and great pay and awesome area (close enough but not too close to family and smack dab between NYC and Philly). What this change of perspective allowed me to do was shift from thinking about getting out of my crappy job and life and focusing on the future and being confident and positive. It had an affect on my personal life as well, helping me fully commit towards a healthier life, seeing myself as an athlete and creating a healthy relationship with someone I met soon after.
Its so funny you bring this up because my friends and I were talking about this today. I typically don’t buy into stuff like the Secret, but I think this change of attitude influenced by the book transformed my life.
.-= tina´s last blog ..Another run, another victory =-.
I don’t really buy into stuff like this, and even this I’m only partially into, but I agree that there is something to the thoughts are things and feelings are energy and that makes things happen. So if nothing else it’s a good reminder to keep those things positive.
I think you will be just fine without it. Besides, law of attraction already attracted us to each other, so what more do we need? ;)
<3
i haven’t read this mostly because it seems a little bullshitish to me ;) sorry, I won’t be asking ‘the universe’ for anything. just me i guess. I agree positive thinking, etc is very important, I just think (again just what I’ve heard) that this book takes it a little out into la la land for me. I feel like Oprah has gotten more off into the new agey stuff than I’m into. Yay, now I feel like I read it because I’m sure I’d agree with you, LOL. Ya, i wasn’t going to read it either way, but…
.-= katdoesdiets´s last blog ..My Day in Pictures =-.
I don’t think it’s good to drown yourself in negativity, but I don’t agree that “You will never change your body if you ar critical of it and find fault with it, and in fact you will attract more weight to you.” If you are never critical or never find any faults, what would motivate you to change? There’s a difference between hating your body because you’re overweight and looking at yourself, realizing maybe there are aspects of yourself you don’t like. I think the right attitude is to honestly assess yourself, see the positives and the negatives, and know that you are capable of changing what you don’t like for the better.
.-= janedog´s last blog ..Day 3 of no diet soda =-.
People have different opinions on that. I think you can want to change without being critical – for instance in my case I had to start loving myself and loving my body as it was enough to know that it DESERVED to be better. I think you can approach it from either way. Some people are motivated by the positive – they can feel better and deserve that. Others are motivated by the negative/critical – they hate their current body and want a new one. Personally that never worked for me because hating my body just made me hate myself and my life and from that sprung really negative actions like emotional and binge eating. So for me the love and positivity thing was absolutely needed. But like I said… it’s different for everyone.
“You must feel good about you” to lose weight simply isn’t true. I hate my body, and I dislike most of myself, yet I have lost 51 pounds in 6 months. For me, it is more about the goal than about right now. It is knowing how I used to feel, and wanting to be there again.
Good post, though
.-= Art´s last blog ..Jumpstart =-.
It’s true for some people. For you maybe it’s not but for other people (like me) it might be. Read the above comment. It’s all about how we respond to certain motivations.
But yay for 51 pounds in 6 months!
Art, if you can maintain your loss forever, then I will believe that hating your body and disliking most of yourself “works.”
.-= KCLAnderson (Karen)´s last blog ..A Double Whammy: Part 1 =-.
I just can’t get on the negative bandwagon of hating part of yourself being a strong motivator. I don’t get it personally. Your comment made me realize I should try to find successful weight loss people who started with the motivation. I’m curious to their long term success.
Ah! I looooooove The Secret! Have you seen the DVD? It’s partially absurd, but I found it so inspiring and helpful. I probably spend 90% of my day manifesting my dream life… I won’t lie, but amazing things keep on happening.. so it definitely doesn’t hurt ;)
.-= marzipan´s last blog ..learning how to end harmful and toxic relationships =-.
I haven’t seen the DVD. It seems like it would be even more kooky than I could handle. Yeah, I totally know how good things happen when you dream them up… so I am going to take that bit and keep doing it.
I haven’t read it and I probably still won’t having now read this. I’ve tried a few books like that and I always come away frustrated. One of the books I WOULD like to read is “The Last Lecture” by some professor guy that I can’t remember the name of. I remember seeing him on tv and liking what he had to say.
.-= Mad Woman´s last blog ..Thoughts =-.
Randy Pausch. If you’ve seen him actually give the speech… it’s AMAZING. He was a wonderful guy.
Thanks for your book review, and yes, you should do more of them!
I read the secret a few years back and watched the DVD. Here is my not so humble opinion. They have taken some wise and sage advise, the law of attraction and left the focus on just that one thing. There are SEVERAL spiritual laws that are all intertwined to make things like this help you to change. But when the focus only becomes one thing, the translation gets lost. Just like a “diet” or the scale versus the WHOLE lifestyle.
.-= Julie – Big Girl Bombshell´s last blog ..Sunday Slice of Life – Relationships =-.
I have never read the book but did watch the Oprah shows on it & some of the people rubbed me the wrong way. To me, it is like the very old positive thinking stuff that was way before this book. I am not sure I agree with this asking the universe & things will happen stuff. I have found ya have to work hard for anything. The other thing I noticed on the shows is they focused on the money aspect of it. Sure, I would love to ask the universe for some money & then I win the lotto but that ain’t gonna happen.
I am all for people that like the book & it helps them. Oprah loves it & feel it helped her. To each their own. It is just not my thing… maybe I am just cynical…. too much working in the Corporate world! :-)
Thx for the great review Mary!
.-= Jody – Fit at 52´s last blog ..Fighting Fear =-.
I think Tina, above, makes some good points: a lot of it is to do with your attitude. Approaching things positively, reacting positively, interpreting positively – all of those attitudes create an environment in which positive things may well happen. But it would be really dreadful to believe that, conversely, anyone would deserve to have a bad thing happen because it was attracted to them by their negative thoughts.
Eating whatever you want and maintaining your weight – ha. Or maybe I just need to sort out my attitude.
Good review. I especially liked the thought about how it’s kind of unhealthy to imagine that we are the centre of the universe.
.-= Ten Pounds´s last blog ..Dress hunt: bad for the soul =-.
That is one of the point where I had trouble agreeing with the book – the bad thoughts draw bad things to a person (especially when its outside of their control).
Like it’s mentioned earlier in the comments… it’s less about eating whatever you want to maintain a low weight, but about wanting different things. (Totally different.)
I had a lot of the same thoughts as you when I read it. I went back and forth between thinking it was great advice and thinking it was insane. I do agree a lot with the idea that we attract what we put out. But, I thought the same exact thing you said about the part where it basically says you can eat whatever you want as long as you THINK the food will not make you fat.
.-= Janet´s last blog ..What Was I Thinking? =-.
Ive rambled too often about how much I love it—but I really do in an overallGENERALLIFEATTITUDE sense.
The “using it to get a new car” type thing (though that was only in the video not the book if Im recalling correctly) not so much.
.-= Miz´s last blog ..New Two Fit Chicks podcast. =-.
Yeah but there were lots of parts in the book about using it for specific things (checks in the mail!) that were a bit kooky. Like you I love it as a general life attitude but not so much for the specifics.
The thing with the law of attraction is that it’s always working whether we think it is or not. I agree that the book and the movie were over the top…and tacky. I do like that The Secret brought new awareness to the Law of Attraction though…
.-= KCLAnderson (Karen)´s last blog ..A Double Whammy: Part 1 =-.
Oh, I totally agree that it is different for everybody. I feel that is part of why this is so hard. There is a good deal of finding what works for you.
.-= Art´s last blog ..Jumpstart =-.
It says that people in tragedies brought it upon themselves from negative thoughts? That’s horrible! I heard about this book esp when it came out but I really don’t like self help types of things. I have liked some of oprah’s book club books though. I cant rememeber which ones offhand. Thanks for reviewing this book because I def never would have read it, and now I don’t have to. I think that it’s probably right somewhat, but I heard that it says to make a board of pics of stuff you want like a certain car or whatever and suddenly you’ll somehow get it which makes no sense at all. I think I saw that on southpark lol. As for the eating whatever you want thing, maybe they actually want things that arent too bad and not too much? That part is definitely real, depending on the person.
.-= merri´s last blog ..Getting Girly for Dummies: Intro & the Mani/Pedi Eyebrow Wax =-.
Vision boards and things like that work because you create a vision of what you want and then keep it around as a constant reminder that pushes you to work toward making those things happen. It’s not really magic. LOL
Read it and felt the same way!
.-= The Binge Diary´s last blog ..Gratitude Post #1 =-.
I read and like it a lot. The only problem with it that I’ve heard others say and I agree with is that, although positive thinking is a great thing to have it needs to be backed up with action. You might want and visualize the perfect thin body for you BUT its gotta be backed up with exercise and better eating. But then again if you haven’t the right positive mindset you’ll never achieve any worthwhile results.
.-= Barry´s last blog ..Patrick Stewart Boldly Goes Where He Shouldn’t! =-.
ha! i am reading your posts backward right now. so you mentioned the law of attraction here. i just commented on your other post about that! i really like your review. it is straight forward and has exactly what you liked and didnt about the book. you are really good at voicing your opinion! laid out and easy to follow.
love ya!
.-= janetha´s last blog ..cut & dry. =-.