In 2013, one of my goals was to build my self-confidence.Having always been on the lower end of having self-confidence, I felt like it was a necessary thing to build. I feel like I did this pretty well, despite it being a very, very bumpy road. I ended the year in a very good place, more confident with myself and my future direction than ever.
The problem with building confidence is that things will come along that will shake it again. You’ll get laid off or break up with your partner or suffer a loss that will knock you down more than you expect. You’ll struggle with being confident because of the situation.
photo by Jennifer
You Must Believe In Yourself
So many people have told me a lot of positive things, recommended me for jobs, and generally just gone out of their way to help me feel confident while looking for work. Despite what my inner mean girl voice tells me lately, a lot of people believe in me.
I’m surrounded by a great group of people and I’ll obviously not be unemployed forever, but what matters most is how much I believe in myself.
While that took a blow a few weeks ago, I’m realizing that nurturing it back to it’s good state is my number one goal right now. I’m the only one who is going to look out for myself and my career. I’m remembering to think positively about the situation, future opportunities, and past successes. Changing the mindset and perception of the situation makes a huge difference in confidence. Believing in myself is the only way to make the most of this opportunity.
No one hands you things in life, so you have to believe in yourself enough to go get what you want.
Reader Tips For How to Build Confidence
One reason why I love this blog and will forever keep it up is because it’s like I can google search my memory. When I have a topic I’m thinking about or struggling with, I can go click search and find my past posts on the topic.
Today I knew I wanted to talk about confidence, so I searched my blog for past posts on confidence. I found a post with reader tips for confidence and reading through them gave me a great boost.
- Melissa – Close your eyes and jump in…being confident, assertive, and not focusing on pleasing everyone else all the time opens the door to a more authentic you. When you are more authentic with yourself and to those in your surroundings you just feel better. That goes a long way to healing your soul.
- em – Okay, this may not be the most comfortable idea but in all seriousness, put on a pair of “power” heels! I’ve had to wear them to work recently and it feels great to strut your stuff around town or the office. Also do small things throughout the day that you know you are good at! If i get a hard assignment at work or am struggling with a workout, I will do something that I am good at or something that comes naturally to me to get a quick boost in confidence and allow me to keep pushing forward.
- Nicole – As so many people have told me, fake it til you make it! I didn’t believe in this slogan. I thought it to be cliche and was not going to work. But let me tell you it really does. Know one knows you aren’t confident so don’t let anyone know, especially yourself.
I used to pump myself up before I had to do a networking events. I would get the best woman power songs out there (I suggest some xtina) and get excited! The more happy, positive, and excited you are the better potential for you to give off a confident glow. So get pumped and fake it til you make it! Trust me it will get easier. The more you do the better you get. And do know you will get nervous, but channel that nervous energy into a ok I see your nervousness and I raise you confidence! Trust me hands down confidence reigns every time :-)
- Shannon – Something I tell myself a lot is that is it not my place to decide what others think of me nor my concern. If we worry about pleasing others or being enough we will always fall short in our own eyes.
- Karen – You know the expression, “What would you do if you knew you could not fail?” I suggest tweaking it to this, “What is worth doing, even if you fail?” and then take imperfect action. Action is where it’s at, and since it can never be perfect, might as well go ahead and do it anyway. :-)
- Kim – Once I realized that people don’t spend nearly as much time thinking about us as we think they do – I started to get over some of my insecurities. As I have aged, I’ve learned that even some of the people who come across as the most self-assured people I know, have insecurities.
All of this was so perfect to read while I’m job searching and deciding what move to make next. Everyone of us has insecurities and issues and feels less than confident at times. You just have to work through it and move along. That’s what I’m doing but it’s so nice to have this little reminder today.
Resources on How To Build Confidence
There are lots of resources you can use on your journey to build confidence in yourself. It’s worth it to reach out to the people around you and ask for their suggestions. You can also work with a coach or therapist who is trained to help people improve their confidence. Sometimes a professional can offer you something really useful!
Books on How to Build Confidence
You can also learn tips and techniques by reading books about building confidence. Below are a couple of books that you might find helpful.
This book provides an extensive, day-by-day guide to renew your self-confidence. It helps you create a plan to train your mind on how to deal with stressors and renew your sense of self.
This ebook is a quick and cheap read but it’s got some really useful tips and tricks on building confidence. There are several books like this on Amazon you can get when they are having a sale and then read as you work on building confidence. The more knowledge you have, the more effective you’ll be!
Spiritual Books on How to Build Confidence
Below are a few devotional and spiritual books that will help you build confidence. They tackle the concept of building confidence from a different perspective:
Joyce Meyer is one of my favorite Christian writers and this devotional is based on her #1 New York Times bestseller, The Confident Woman: Start Today Living Boldly and Without Fear (great book). She provides encouragement and tools to work through the problem areas of life that cause you to struggle with confidence.
Another devotional about building confidence is this one from the popular Proverbs 31 radio host and speaker. It offers 60 devotions to help women develop a confident heart and overcome insecurity and fears. If you are looking for devotional on building confidence this might be perfect.
If you’ve been struggling, remember to believe in yourself! Confidence really is all about what your inner voice says, so say good things!