I want to apologize now, if you don’t see any comments from me in the next two weeks or so. I’m leaving for a trip to Gatlinburg, TN with my mom tomorrow, and then when I get back will be getting ready to leave for New Zealand. So I’m going to be super busy for the next little bit. I will keep blogging and might put up some posts I’ve already written for the days when I can’t actually blog *cough*planerideacrossthepacific*cough* but I have a feeling my time for reading other blogs will dwindle away. That bothers me because I get really inspired reading other blogs!
Today I want to talk a little bit about comparison. Yesterday I mentioned that it might seem lame to celebrate a half mile. I only mentioned that because for some people it is lame and they do run much, much more than I do. I think a lot of people picked up on this comment and tried to explain that we all start somewhere. The funny thing is – I agree with that. I only mentioned it in passing for the people who read my blog and run marathons, just as a passing nod saying “Hey, I’m just starting out, it’s not much, but I’m here!” The rest of my post was about how impressed, excited, surprised I was that I could even go that far. I was in fact, pretty proud of myself for that small step.
But the fact that in a way I did compare myself to others in the post, if only briefly and without realizing it, made me think about how often we compare ourselves to others and how it hurts us. A few years ago I had a huge problem comparing myself to some of my best girl friends. They were all beautiful, skinny, athletic, popular… all the things I wanted to be but wasn’t. Every time I found myself doing something good I would compare it to what they did and realized I came up short. Even though I had done something positive, I made myself believe it was nothing just because it wasn’t as good as what they did. By comparing myself to them I was throwing my own accomplishments away like they were nothing.
I had to make the conscious effort to stop comparing myself to other people. I knew that I would NEVER be happy if I was comparing what I did to other people because there will always be someone who can run faster, looks prettier, knows more. If you want to make yourself feel bad then compare every single thing you do against someone who does it better. Believe me, you will feel bad after a while. But if you want to be happy you need to stop comparing yourself to anyone but yourself. Let the idea go that you need to do things the same way as other people or that you need to look like someone else or you need to exercise like someone else or live like someone else. I had to let go of those things because otherwise I would spend all my time tearing myself apart for not matching up.
If you always compare yourself to other people you will never be able to celebrate your own achievements. I celebrate jogging a half mile. If I was truly comparing myself to runners I wouldn’t be able to do that. You have to set your own goals and celebrate when you reach them. That’s why you need to run to beat your personal best, not to beat the fastest time set by a championship runner. That’s why you need to be proud of losing a pound, instead of comparing yourself to Biggest Loser contestants who lose much more. When you do something good, you need to be able to celebrate it instead of feeling like you didn’t do enough. And to do this you need to stop comparing yourself to anyone else.
No matter who you are, this applies to you. Don’t lessen the gloriousness of what you accomplish by telling yourself it isn’t as good as what that person did. Just don’t compare yourself to other people. Think of yourself and what you can do. Be proud of yourself and what you’ve done.
At least that is what I do. And I’m pretty proud of myself and what I’ve accomplished so far. ;)
“When you do something good, you need to be able to celebrate it instead of feeling like you didn’t do enough” <– Word of wisdom right there! I can't agree with you more. It made me think…
I have you ever compared yourself to yourself only to suffer the same or similar consequences? For example, have you ever found yourself in a nice little exercising/health groove only to fall out of it due to being sick or injured? Then, when it came time to return, you couldn't help but notice that your stamina/drive/ mindset/etc wasn't quite where it was before the 'fall out'? Aaaaand you pretty much felt like total crap about it?
Sometimes comparing ourselves to ourselves without taking circumstance into consideration can be just as (if not more) detrimental as comparing ourselves to others. Scary!
.-= BodyByPizza´s last blog ..A Letter =-.
I actually thought about that when I was writing but I didn’t include it. I think you can also fall into a trap when comparing yourself to a past verison of yourself – a time when you were healthier or when you were younger and more able to do things. In that way comparing yourself to yourself can be detrimental and just as bad. You have to figure out how to not compare at all… just be proud of what you can do in the present moment and be happy with that. It’s a fine line and can be really hard. I’ve gotten past comparing myself to other people but I still have trouble when I compare myself to times when I could run more or be more active.
And you should be proud.
I don’t run. I ellliptical.
A half mile is no easy feat.
You are doing great Mary, have fun in Tennessee
I agree and think this is a part of being confident enough (in yourself) to define your life on your own terms. Having that self-belief to do things your way, independent of what you think society wants you to do, is a pretty big deal.
Comparing yourself with others is still important though, to give you some context of the bigger picture.
.-= Harry´s last blog ..Weigh-in #15+16: MILESTONE! =-.
I can’t WAIT to hear about your trip to New Zealand – are you so flippin’ excited?!!
I don’t think excited is the right word for it. I’m like three levels ABOVE excited about going to New Zealand. It’s going to be awesome and I can’t wait to blog about it! :)
I can run 6/10’s of a mile. So there!
.-= Jack Sh*t´s last blog ..Advice From People Smarter Than Me =-.
Of course you can. Good thing I don’t care what you can do. ;)
Good post. I always think of the first Star Wars movie where Liam Neison’s character tells young Obe Wan “there’s always a bigger fish.” It just always made sense to me. It’s all about being YOU – the best YOU you can be – living life to the fullest and at the end of the day having no apologies.
.-= Anonymous Fat Girl´s last blog ..Stress minus overeating equals laughter on my first day back to work =-.
wise words! thanks for the reminder :)
.-= campinggirl´s last blog ..Small Town Syndrome =-.
What a great post Mary!!!! I am proud of my fitness accomplishments yet I still compare myself to others in looks.. a very bad habit of mine! I know the reasons behind this from past experiences but I still do it. Slap my hand.. bad Jody!
Have a wonderful trip!
.-= Jody – Fit at 52´s last blog .."Diet"/Exercise Help =-.
Very wise words! I do so much better when I don’t compare myself to others and stay focused on what I have accomplished. I am really going to focus on the healthy activities this year instead of thinking about how far I still have to go. I think running for a half a mile is great! Have a wonderful trip!
.-= Kat´s last blog ..My 2009 =-.
I have to say that I love your blog today! Being so competitive natured, I always find myself comparing myself to my friends. But that can make things tough. My old running partner from high school (granted that was 8 years ago) moved into my apt lately and is now super fit running 3 marathons a year. The funny thing is I got HER into running! It really made me thing, if only I kept up with it! But when we run intervals together on the treadmill, I’m reminded that I need to compare myself to no one since when watching heart rates, I run/walk while she run/sprints and my body is working just as hard. I just need to build up to running again! Good luck girl! And have fun in New Zealand…kiwis are fantastic (and the landscape is amazing too…it’s like being in a post card)!
.-= Feisty Kitty´s last blog ..Motivation Interchangable with MIAMI!!!! =-.
The funny this is I AM SUPER COMPETITIVE. I like to win. I really, really like to win. But I’ve learned to base my performance against myself and celebrate when I am the best I can be. If I do win something, I’m happy, but if I don’t beat myself up for losing. That’s been hard to do, but I’m trying!
This is a really great and inspirational post, and I’m so glad you shared it! Thank you!
.-= Rachel´s last blog ..veggie pasta with meatballs =-.
Have a great time in NZ! Can’t wait to hear your stories!
.-= mackattack´s last blog ..Sausage Bean Casserole =-.
awesome post, best advice ever!
thanks, and enjoy your upcoming trips. i hope you post pictures!
.-= liz at imsheddingthefatsuit´s last blog ..Baked Crab Rangoon =-.
Every time I find myself struggling, and I sit down to figure out why, I can almost trace it to some comparison I’m making–whether it’s to someone else or to a future self I want to be. You’re so right, Mary, in that it’s an ugly little trap we set for ourselves in doing that. So much better to celebrate where we are now!
Have fun in Gatlinburg–take 2 coats! :)
.-= Cammy@TippyToeDiet´s last blog ..Product Review, Contest, & Giveaway: Progresso Soup! =-.
Thanks so much for this post! I needed to hear that!
I often compare myself too much..no matter what the situation. One big one is with my business competition..I’ll be thrilled with something I’ve done, but then see something else and think “oh they’re so much more creative…much better..etc” I’ve tried to teach myself to not “compete” with anyone else, but only to “compete” with myself by striving to do my best and maybe my next best will be better than my previous best.
Hope you have an awesome time in New Zealand. Can’t wait to read all about it!
.-= Julie Lost and Found´s last blog ..Power of the Mind and Choices =-.
It’s hard not to compare yourself to someone else who is better looking, has more money, is smarter etc. It’s definitely something I need to work on :). Have a good trip(s)
.-= Tony´s last blog ..Pumpkin PUNCH! =-.
I definitely get caught up in this all the time, not just in fitness/weight areas, but professionally and personally, too. I need to keep working on putting blinders on, since my “journey” is definitely different from everyone else’s (and everyone’s is different from everyone else’s, too).
This next part may not make much sense, but I also think I use comparison as an excuse to be down on myself when I “deserve” to be hard on myself. Like when I know I could’ve tried harder to do something, or I’ve made a stupid excuse for not doing something I should’ve, it’s easier to look at another person and say “well I’m not as good as he/she is because I didn’t accomplish XYZ” and start feeling sorry for myself instead of taking responsibility for trying harder and pushing myself to my own limits. So yeah, in addition to not comparing myself to others in how many minutes I exercised or how many pounds I’ve lost, I also need to be better about staying accountable to my own self and the things I SHOULD be accomplishing and then bragging about. Make sense?
What a great, great post. I’m so guilty of this…especially comparing my workouts to other bloggers and feeling like mine don’t shape up, even tho I feel them just the same. Thanks for writing this, I needed it so bad today.
Have fun on your trips and be safe!
.-= Craig´s last blog ..Wagon Update =-.
so true, thanks for the reminder!
.-= Cor´s last blog ..round is so a shape! =-.
NZ!
how did i not know this?!
Let me know if you plan to spend anytime in Wellington, I live here and would be more than happy to show you about! :-)
How very true and what a great reminder for us all. Kind of like how you can be doing the exact same plan with a friend/spouse, etc and they lose more weight or inches and you’re like “HEY! Why am I losing so slow?” Starts to put a lot of self doubt in there and can really throw you off track. It’s okay to acknowledge ‘gee, that kinda sucks’ but oh well! It’ll all come out in the wash anyway. Eww…that made me sound old!
Wonderful perspective!
Now, I hope you get in some good shopping while you’re on vacation…Hello!?! NIKE OUTLET!!!
.-= Joanna Sutter´s last blog ..Wok This Way =-.
Really? Where’s that? I’m gonna google it. I totally could use some stuff. Haha.
it is a welcome, objective can be achieved only if a desired… :))
.-= Muscle Builder´s last blog ..Quick Results from Whey 100% Gold! =-.
Such good thoughts! It is hard not to compare ourselves to others but you are right- we just need to celebrate the progress that WE have made.
:)
.-= Tiffany´s last blog ..Day #6: TBL Inspiration! =-.
Words of wisdom indeed.
It’s easy for us all to compare ourselves to others, when we should really focus on our achievements and chart our progress and forget everyone else. Its like looking out at greener pastures wishing we were there. We need to remember no matter how bad our position in life there are others not as fortunate.
Love this post and couldn’t agree more… we need to celebrate our successes and be happy with who we are ;-)
Right on! Comparing yourself to others either makes you smug, because you’re better at some things than someone else (which is hardly a loving place to be) or it makes you feel inferior (which is not productive). We all march to the beat of a different drum and we are all unique.
.-= Hanlie´s last blog ..Raw Food Tip #1: How to Cheat Wisely =-.
I got nothing. Wish I could write blog entries as good as you ;)
So easy to compare, be jealous, be competitive, etc.
.-= TB–Milwaukee´s last blog ..It’s All in the Way You Slice the Pizza =-.
Awww, I’d be so sad if you didn’t play! I think you are so good!
I am definitely guilty of comparing myself to others. And I know I shouldn’t do it, because it generally puts me in a bad mood. Comparing myself to my prior self though, usually puts me in a good mood, since I just tend to get better over time (like wine? Lol).
.-= merri´s last blog ..dancey [Flickr] =-.
Awesome post. And I really needed to read this right now. I’ve signed up for a 5k in February with my sister and I can’t even jog a half mile yet. I’m working on it, but my sister is already running 2.25 miles, so it makes me feel pretty useless. But I’m getting stronger. And I’ll get there. And I’m doing the 5k, even if I have to crawl!
.-= jenn´s last blog ..Bad Blogger! =-.