I’m enjoying my new set up living with my friends Hilary and Chris. I’ve been doing a good job of setting up a new routine and I’m finally settling in. Now I just need to figure out a way to buy running shoes and get outside to workout! I’m supposed to start running again tomorrow, but I’m not sure that will happen. I might have to put running shoes on my Christmas list and hope Santa loves me this year. We will see. Until then I’m stuck inside with my workout tapes. I miss you, nature.
I’ve been thinking about how last week when my mom and one of my brothers met me at the airport, I was shocked by what my brother looked like. I had only been gone three months but it seemed like he had grown 2 full inches and lost at least 20 pounds. He was never huge, but he was noticeably thinner now.
I didn’t want to ask or say anything about it, but I did remark that he seemed taller. Later on he started talking about how he lost weight and he looks good and all. I wouldn’t disagree, but I kind of disagree with his methods of losing weight.
My brother somewhere along the line realized he wasn’t healthy and needed to lose weight. I agree with that – he was eating fast food for almost every meal and drinking so much coke it boggled my mind. So the decision to be healthier/thinner/stronger/whatever that he came to was a good decision. If he had continued on that path he would be on a very, very dangerous path for the future. So I’m glad he decided to make positive changes.
Some people though, must always make extreme changes when they decide to change. If they decide to eat more vegetables, they decide to go vegetarian or even vegan. If they decide to pay down their debt, they spend every waking second focused on throwing more money at it. If they want to eat less, they cut down their calories to dangerous levels. If they decide to lose weight, they go to extreme methods to do so.
That is what my brother did, or at least what it seems like he did. He stopped eating fast food for three meals a day and instead decided to eat less – just one meal a day. (Now he eats one meal a day plus some snacks.) He also decided to start running, which we had all suggested to him before. But when he decided to start running he ran sprints. Everything he did to lose weight was the extreme version of what we suggested he should do. It all worked for him, but I wonder about the process since I wasn’t here to watch.
I always wonder about the people who go to extreme measures to lose weight because I’ve never been that way. I’m not an all or nothing kind of person. I’m happy with turtle slow steady progress and don’t mind waiting years for the results I want. I’m not one who beats myself up if I have a bad day once in a while – I just move on instead of trying to “make up for it” by cutting calories or being super strict. Because I’m flexible and don’t resort to any extreme measures I always wonder about the people who do.
What makes them do this? Why is losing weight so important that they make their life hell or resort to possibly dangerous methods? Why is doing something in the most extreme way the only way they can do anything?
I don’t understand these people because I’m not one of them. Some of you might be. In fact, some of you are. I read your blogs, I know. But I don’t always understand you. I don’t always understand why you do certain things to yourself. I hope in the end it makes you happy and gives you the results you want. But I know there are all kinds of different people in the world and many different ways to safely lose weight. So I won’t judge, but I won’t say I understand either.
I’m probably a lot closer to all-or-nothing than the other way, Mary, because when my head’s not in the game, I’m all-and-nothing. That is all too much eating and nothing on the exercise front. It may seen like overkill, but all I can tell you is that a single-minded approach has helped me reach my goal in a lot less time than I thought. As a result, I feel like I’m happier, healthier and certainly feel better about myself and my prospects for a happy, healthy future. And here’s the thing: I don’t thing I did it at the expense of any great fun or living adventure. When I think back on it, I don’t have a ton of pleasant memories that center around going out and eating a bunch. On the contrary, I have a lot of photos of a fat, miserable, out-of-shape guy that didn’t feel very good about himself.
But you’re right. There’s no one right way to go about doing this. As long as we’re all headed in the same direction, the pace isn’t all that important, I guess.
.-= Jack Sh*t´s last blog ..You’ll Go Down in History =-.
Mary I have a HUGE tendancy to do those type of diets! However I have kind of grown out of it realizing that it does my body more harm than good by far.
I think we do it because of the quick promise that comes along with it. We want to hurry and get it done and stop “dieting” In my mind a diet is temporary and will end so you have to either keep dieting forever or just change your habits and eat healthy forever. If you let the diet end and do not continue with the healthy habits we all know what happens.
People get desperate that is why there are so many “quick fixes” out there making bank!
I think some people just think, “Well, if eating 1,600 calories a day is good, then 800 calories a day must be great!”
I don’t think that’s a good way to live, because I think eventually you wreck your metabolism and wind up gaining 10 pounds every time you eat a cheeseburger. But, I do wish I was *more* single-minded in my weight loss efforts. I find my focus wanes again and again, and because of that I’ve be stuck at the same weight for months.
.-= Jenn´s last blog ..It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas… =-.
I have seen a blog or two where the person was NEVER GOING TO EAT A MUFFIN AGAIN.
That isn’t me..at all.
I think what I may end up doing in the end is eating around 1500 calories a day 80 percent to 90 percent of the time…and once a week have a meal that kicks butt.
I fully intend to enjoy holidays, birthdays, and the occasional meal out. Just no where near the amount I enjoyed it at before.
I will still exercise five to six days a week. It keeps me straight.
It’s like reading the bible to keep your mind straight…exercise keeps my body in line.
.-= Chris´s last blog ..one day vacay…. =-.
I am definitely single minded when it comes to my weight loss, but I think I have a pretty good balance of what constitutes “realism” when it comes to it at the same time.
Does that make sense?
I like that being really focused brings about the results I want, but since I follow WW pretty strictly, I don’t feel deprived or feel like I don’t get to eat the things that I love. I work out a lot, but that’s happened gradually and because I’ve come to love it.
.-= Tara´s last blog ..It’s a Long Way Back =-.
I beg to differ in your assessment of vegetarianism as an “extreme” diet choice. You’ve essentially laid out a rant that classifies vegetarianism as similar to cutting calories to dangerous levels and later go on to say “Why is losing weight so important that they make their life hell or resort to possibly dangerous methods? Why is doing something in the most extreme way the only way they can do anything?” What’s up with that? You say you’re not one to judge, but it seems you did just that. Vegetarianism can be one of the healthiest ways to eat. I think the idea of where food comes from and its impact on mind/body/soul/environment would be an important subject to address at any sort of wellness retreat.
Actually I think you misread and did not understand what I was trying to say. I in no way said being a vegetarian was unhealthy or an extreme way to lose weight. I used it as an example for people who go to extreme ends when trying todo anything. I also use paying off debt as an example. Both of those things are good things, and I didn’t imply or mean to imply they weren’t, just that I don’t understand people jumping right into the opposite from what they are currenty doing. Using the example of someone who doesn’t eat veggies at all going straight to vegetarian has no judgemnt attached, just the comment that I wouldn’t understand that method. Next time try to read what Im saying instead of attacking it. Thanks. But I do agree with you on vegetarianism – it’s is healthy and a very positive thing for many people.
You just said right there in your own comment– “extreme ends”.
And I’m not attacking you, I’m disagreeing with the way you set up your argument. Including vegetarianism (or aggressive debt management for that matter, how strange) at best muddles your argument and at worst presents a misinformed viewpoint.
I’m not sure why you think this is an arguement as you keep calling it, especially one against vegetarianism. I’m sorry you got stuck on that sentence and I wish you hadn’t. I am not nor was I trying to argue with anyone. Im sorry you disagree with my thoughts but they are just that. I’m not trying to convince you or anyone else of anything. Feel free to disagree if you have to or stop reading or whatever.
I think you’re being a little overly dramatic. What’s the point of your comments section? Echo chamber? Or a place for discussion? I am saying the way you wrote suggests to me (perhaps it is only me) that you consider a move to vegetarianism an extreme one. It’s one in a list of examples of what you consider extreme moves. Please explain how I am misinterpreting the setup of that paragraph? I think you are the one that is “stuck”– in your leap to defensiveness, it seems that you haven’t really looked back and thought about what you wrote.
Hi Ally – I don’t think Mary at all was saying that vegetarianism in itself was extreme. I think her point was that a change in a person who eats zero vegetables to eating nothing but vegetables is an extreme change for the sole reason of weight loss.
I know several vegetarians, some healthy, some unhealthy, and I don’t consider any of them to be ‘extreme’; and from what I know about Mary, I don’t think she considers them to be extreme either.
It’s more the level of change a person goes through, and she was using someone who goes from eating no vegetables to eating only vegetables as an example. The same could be said for someone who drinks no water changing to drinking 10 litres of water a day; or someone who eats no fruit to eating 20 peaches a day.
Does this clarify things?
.-= Marshmallow´s last blog ..Because I feel guilty about the lack of blog action… =-.
@Ally
I don’t mind disagreement, you just seem to be disagreeing over soemethibg I wasn’t saying. Maybe the way you read it you jumped to the wrong conclusion and I’m sorry. I still stand by using the example of someone who doesn’t eat veggies and wants to eat more jumping to being a vegetarian or vegan the next day. That is an example of extreme change, which is what that paragraph was talking about. Once again, sorry if you don’t like my choice of examples.
@Marshmallow
Thanks for trying to clarify for me. I guess I wasn’t doing a good job? To me it makes sense, but then again, that is the reason writers have editors… for cases where the point isn’t always as clear as they think. I’m glad at least someone understood that bit. Thanks.
I have friends who do this regulary – one friend RAVED about going on a water diet for 4 days (seriously, only drinking water) and losing weight and I yelled at her. Because she knows better.
Yes, these diets are extreme and yes, you’ll lose weight but how is this a lifestyle change? It’s a DIET and once you stop dieting, you’ll gain it all back because you’ve taught yourself nothing about how to life in the real world.
I too prefer the slow and steady approach because it works in the longterm. It’s something I can learn from and use everyday, regardless of what life throws at me.
I think there’s a difference between being focused and being stupidly single-minded.
.-= Gemfit´s last blog ..The 2 week itch =-.
Good for him. It will be interesting to see if he can sustain his current diet/workout in the long term.
.-= Harry´s last blog ..Weigh-in #12 =-.
You are either in it for the win or you are not in it at all. There is no inbetween. Moreover, there is a difference between being extreme and being ontop of your game. Slow and steady is the way to go, but you can’t be lazy about it. That’s how I think of it anyway.
.-= Tony´s last blog ..Onederland Achieved! =-.
I can sometimes be all black and white about things in general… esp go from really good mood to a really bad one. Sometimes it’s easier to do the all or nothing than to middle things. Ive been workingon middle-ing things because it seems, to me, to be more realistic and lifelike. Most of the world is shades of grey. And on health, I have succeeded, which is why I said on your last post I was dedicated to living a semi healthy lifestyle :) I think theres a difference between going suddenly full hilt on a diet and using bad for you methods. They could be one in the same, but not necessarily. Hopefully your brother’s not doing it in too unhealthy of a way but then again hes probably read your post and talked to you about it.
.-= merri´s last blog ..Folsom Street Fair 2009 =-.
Everyone has to do this their way. Some ways may not be sustainable life long but that remains to be seen. And we all want to do this in a healthy way.
I did it the wrong way back when I was very young.. eating way too little… was not a good thing & caused me more probs long term as I had to learn the right way & make things better for my bod. I just wanted to stop being fat & honestly, a lot of info was not at my fingertips like it is now. I still change things up but it is based on what I know my bod needs & what I can live with for life!
Some people want it too quick but the key is.. can they keep it off long term. Once somebody starts eating again, it comes on fast….
I wish your brother well & hope it all works out for him.
I like that you know your way & what works for you!
.-= Jody – Fit at 52´s last blog ..Beat The Need for New Year’s Resolutions =-.
Everyone is obsessed with instant gratification which explains your brothers methods. We live in a world where instant gratification is an every day thing because of technology. We are used to finding out information, getting answers and being able to do just about anything, faster then ever before.
So when people want to lose weight, they expect to lose it fast. The problem is that our bodies have not advanced as fast as technology has and we really haven’t evolved much in the last few hundred years.
I am opposed to extreme diets because they are incredibly hard to sustain. Your body learns to survive off less calories and once you get off the diet, it naturally burns less calories per day. Also, people lose the weight and then decide they can go back to their old lifestyle, which is not true at all.
Extreme diets should only be done if you have a game plan on how you are going to keep the weight off afterwards.
I totally agree with you, Mary. I hear what people are saying about doing what works for them, but I honestly feel like moderation is the only way to go. I think people have different definitions and degrees of “moderation,” though. I consider occasional fast food, daily chocolate and fairly regular glasses of wine to be moderation. Others look at that piece of baguette they just ate at Panera and consider it a treat, when I’d just count it and move on. I’m all for supporting what works for each individual person, but I can pretty much guarantee that any weight lost too quickly or easily will come back that way, too.
.-= McLauren84´s last blog ..A Wonderful Weekend in Pictures =-.
It can be scary to see some people eating less than 1000 calories. Just yikes. I’m with you on slow and steady, but we are all different. I just hope your bro can keep it off.
.-= mackattack´s last blog ..Indianapolis events =-.
Almost 10 years ago I went on a doctor supervised liquid diet. I lost 48 pounds really quickly. Looking back, the fast was the worst thing I could have done. Because I literally starved myself and also ended up having several binges before officially coming off the fast. As a former bulimic in high school the binging activity and feeling deprived from not eating any food was not good for me. I ended up gaining all of the weight back and within a few years an additional 50 pounds. It has been a very slow process for me to get all of the additional weight off. I am now about 10 pounds under where I started the fast. I learned that the extreme thing doesn’t work for me. I am really focused on moderation and nutrients and enjoying the food that I eat. For me, that seems to be a healthier choice. That being said, protein sparing modified fasts that are doctor supervised do work for many people. Each person needs to figure out what the best plan for them is….Sorry for hijacking your comments Mary. I guess I have some thoughts on the subject…:-)
.-= Kat´s last blog ..A successful weekend, in spite of severe allergies…:-) =-.
I used to go about extreme methods of weight loss since I always was made to feel like no matter how much I was doing, it was never enough, because I was still fat. If I was eating 200 calories a day, it was 200 calories too much. If I was exercising 4 hours a day, there’s 20 other hours that I could be exercising. Sometimes there is so much ridicule and discrimination heaped upon larger people – worst of all is when it comes from people close to you who supposedly love you unconditionally – that we’re made to feel like we ‘owe’ it to society to be performing an extreme regime to indicate how ‘serious’ we are about trying to ‘correct’ ourselves, given that being fat is such a blight on the human race.
That’s why I believe that a lot of people do very extreme things to their bodies to try and lose weight. You’re quite lucky that you don’t have this pattern of thinking, it’s quite a hard thing to shake off :-) Even now, I still feel like I have to ‘prove’ something – today I did 3 hours of exercise because I love it, but heck, I’ll still brag about it to say to people, “I’m no slouch!”. Very much a hangover from the ‘I’m Doing My Hardest To Become Skinny’ days.
.-= Marshmallow´s last blog ..Because I feel guilty about the lack of blog action… =-.
Starvation diets are definitely not the best way to lose weight. True, you are almost guaranteed to lose weight, but what most people don’t know is you are actually becoming fatter as you lose weight.
Because the weight you lose is mostly lean body mass, which will not only increase your body fat percentage. But will make your metabolism start running at a snails pace.
The secret is to start actually eating more meals, but make these meals smaller.
.-= Keith @ My Body Fat´s last blog ..Weekly Weigh In December 4th 2009 =-.
I’ve gone the extreme route before with dieting, and it worked, and I lost weight. But it didn’t last. It’s hard to keep up with something like that and it doesn’t really teach you how to lead a healthier lifestyle.
As for the running, I dunno. I like trying w/ the sprinting, but I’m focusing more on the slower stuff b/c I want to run a marathon (and maybe a half marathon too) next year. I get just as much satisfaction over completing a long distance then I do when I see that I can a mile faster than I did last week (9min22sec last time I tried) though.
Basically, if it works for him, awesome. I hope he can maintain it though.
.-= Steve´s last blog ..Status Report: Week 9 // Marathon Week: Final Day =-.
I don’t understand the extremes of weight loss and all that, either- it’s not usually effective for the long term. That’s why the way I eat/exercise is about moderation… I like to do my challenges, which tend to be a little extreme, but that’s the nature of them: they’re for the short term and they’re to raise awareness about issues, rather than to be a lasting change.
I hope that it works for him, and that he DOES enjoy what he’s currently doing!
.-= Sagan´s last blog ..Day Eight of the 200 Reps Challenge =-.
Hmmm…I can understand the extremism…I tend to do some of that mostly out of impatience for change. I want to be healthy NOW dammit! Idk about the eating one meal a day thing, maybe he snacks enough to make up for it? like do the snacks add up to enough calories? *shrug*
I’ve found yoga helps me a lot to be patient with my self. It’s constantly something I’m working on. It’s very hard for me to stay committed to something when I’m not seeing results…that might be part of your brothers battle.
.-= Meg´s last blog ..Starting back up =-.
A couple years ago I went on a low-carb diet. I dropped weight really quickly and I was happy with the way I looked. But I couldn’t stay on that diet forever and as soon as I started eating carbs, the weight came back just as quickly.
This time I’m doing it the healthy way. It’s not as fast, but the results are better long term.
.-= jenn @ thin by 30´s last blog ..Weekly Weigh-In =-.
I am a slow and steady person.
I do understand the people who go to extremes though, to me it’s all about impatience and punishment. They want results now now now, they wanna see them and if they don’t see them they must not be doing something right and need to punish themselves for not getting the results.
It’s a rough cycle but it seems to me the people who do that are almost always going to rebound back to how they were before. It’s kind of impossible to keep up that type of extremism for years.
.-= Randi´s last blog ..The best way out is always through. =-.
It seems like everyone is on the same page about not agreeing with rapid weight loss. The reason we all agree is because we have either had the experience of it or have seen people experience it. It is so hard to lose weight extremely fast and then keep it off. The reason is because you are lowering your basal metabolic rate (BMR) which is essentially how many calories a day you would burn if you laid in bed. When you go on an extreme diet, your BMR lowers because your body doesn’t realize you are dieting, it thinks you are actually starving.
So when you get off the diet and go back to your normal lifestyle, it takes less calories to gain weigh than it did before. We have to remember that we have our whole lives and although we want to lose the weight today, the most important thing is how we will be a few years from now.
Try wearing wearable weights like “Body Togs” anatomically designed weighted sleeves worn on your arms & legs under your clothes. Put them on in the morning and you literally forget you have them on while increasing your calorie burn, muscle tone & bone density! Weighted vests work great too!
I’m with you, not into extremes, content with my turtle progress towards normal weight, which I’m quickly approaching. I have about 2 pounds out of 51 to go, and it’s taken me 1.5 years. I’ve done it the other way, very extreme, as well, and that never stayed. I get very uncomfortable reading blogs of people who will never eat a muffin, slice of pizza, chocolate cake, white sugar, whatever else people find “bad”, as well as people who try to eat nothing but salads and non-fat whatever. All kinds of food (and other) evangelism make me uncomfortable (non-fat, no carbs, raw), and I don’t have much hope for long-term stability on these diets. I figure there’s no point in starting to do something that I can’t keep up the rest of my life (since I’ll have to, if I want to keep the weight off), so I avoid the extremes. I eat a fairly healthy diet, not going to sweat my indulgences, they don’t have a huge impact on weight, but would have an impact on my psychological well being if I tried to deny them.
.-= julie´s last blog ..It ain’t been easy! =-.