What I’ve realized over the past couple of years and especially lately, is that when I was gaining weight and very obese I never paid much attention to myself. It’s almost a cliché to be a fat person who doesn’t take care of yourself. Though that was partly true that’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about the blatant disregard of my body. I’m talking about how I used to binge eat until my body was literally breaking but would ignore the signs my body was giving me to stop. That kind of thing.
After just a couple weeks of eliminating certain foods and eating in a different way I’ve noticed my body feels better overall. I’ve noticed when I eat certain things I don’t feel my best and my body reacts in a less than positive way. I know that for the longest time I was avoiding these kinds of signs from my body and eventually bad reactions to food became normal.
There is something that I like to think of as “fat person’s denial.” It’s the denial that allows you to think you haven’t gotten that big. It’s the denial that lets you think you “carry it well” at the very least. It’s the denial that you don’t have any health problems yet so you are fine despite weighing a hundred pounds more than you should. Fat person’s denial is a very devious thing.
Fat person’s denial also extends to food. If you eat a food and experience negative reactions but still love the food, fat person’s denial will help you forget the consequences and keep eating. Fat person’s denial will block out the negative reaction until you get used to it and believe it’s a normal reaction that cannot be traced to a source. It’s why diabetics keep eating sugar until they have to get their feet amputated and why fat people often keep eating junk food even after receiving a devastating medical diagnosis. Fat person’s denial is a very persuasive thing.
I know fat person’s denial is something I’ve dealt with. Giving up dairy is the first time I realized how pervasive it was and how it actually worked with regards to food. I like dairy so I wanted to eat it so I convinced myself nothing was wrong. Maybe nothing is “officially” wrong, but I know that I’m not ignoring my body any more. I’m paying very, very close attention and trying to give it exactly what it wants and needs. Or at least I’m trying to figure that out instead of just forcing down any kind of food I think tastes good.
Do you or have you suffered from some form or fat person’s denial?