Sometimes, I forget who I used to be.
I remember how I felt when I weighed more. I remember stuff that went on in my head.
I remember all that but I forget what I looked like. I got rid of most photos from that time and never look at my high school yearbooks. Every photo from high school and early college on Facebook on college has been untagged. For a long time I didn’t want to see any of that.
Yesterday I shared a photo on instagram (amerrylife on there):
That’s from the night of one of the first parties I went to in college. I felt so terrible about myself (that’s after I had lost some weight/started getting healthier). All of these photos remind me of bad feelings and a bad time.
I don’t look at photos from that period of my life often, but maybe I should. I’ve never shared any before so I took a few quick iphone grabs to share.
Some things never change: I’m still friends with almost everyone pictured here, which is pretty cool.
Some things do change: I don’t feel like I’m the same person I was then at all, in any kind of way.
amber says
Wow! You should be so proud of maintaining such a weight loss! I need to confront my photos from 50lb ago! Thanks for sharing :)
Christina says
Amazing! Your journey is so inspiring!
You look great! And I had no idea you had your eyebrow pierced…me too…moons ago :)
Mary says
Haha yeah the piercing was life long ago. I actually had it done twice, but had to take it out for work.
Jessica says
Your progress is inspiring!
Joe says
Those transformation you have made is inspring!
MamaBearJune says
You’ve come a long way, baby! And that pink print top – WOW! Yeah, those trips to the past can be so painful. But that beautiful smile is still there.
Mary says
:)
jules says
Inspiring
angelika says
Wow!!! Look at all you have accomplished!!!!! You are a rockstar!
Shannon says
Mary I had never seen any of these before. You have always been beautiful today you are just healthier and HAPPY. Great reminder to see where you have been and how much work you have done!
Heather @ My Inner Butterfly says
Wow, what a transformation. You have come a long way! Congrats!
Nicole C says
You really have come a long way! You really don’t look like the same person but your smile seems to be brighter now (even though you hadn’t lost it in the photos). Strolls down memory lane..always an adventure :)
Jojo says
I love you, Mary. I hope when you do look at the pictures, you remember the good of it all. I really hated my time in TN and often disregard it as a dark cloud in my history, but I see pics of us and the few friends I made there and think it wasn’t all so bad. Not at all :) but I’m so happy for the person you’ve grown to be, and I know you are as well. And you know, because of your past and your feelings of the past, it really just makes your accomplishments today even greater. And it makes seeing your smile even sweeter :) Miss you, my friend!
(PS: I’m so glad I saw this post today. I know I haven’t stopped by in awhile, but thank you for posting a pic of us :))
Mary says
Some parts of that time were definitely good. I’m glad we became friends and I really hope to see you again one day and meet your adorable family. I’m so glad we can stay in touch online. :) Miss you! Thank you!
Deb says
Mary, look at how far you’ve come! These pics are just proof that you did something awesome. Beautiful smile in the pics too btw!
Emily says
It takes a lot of guts to confront our past. BRAVO, friend. You look like a completely different person, and I’m sure in many ways, you are! In the best way possible. :)
Jody - Fit at 55 says
You are amazing & then I saw that Instagram pic today in that beautiful dress Mary – YES!!!!
john says
Hi Mary,
The outside view may change but, if you are a wonderful person inside, whether you are large or thin that will never change. You are an inspiration.
John
Jewlz says
So, I’ve been thinking about this post all day and started wondering why I didn’t really have that feeling about my old fat pics. And it finally hit me why. And it should be your why and everyone else’s, too. The reason why my old fat pics don’t bother me is even though that girl was heavy, and even though that girl is no longer me, and it can be somewhat shocking to look at the pics, that girl is still me. And THAT girl, was strong enough, brave enough, and open enough to change her life. And that’s what you’ve done — you’ve changed your life. So when you look at those old pics, even if it can be hard, remember that that chick is YOU and you made a CHOICE to change. So, even if you don’t love the look, love the inner you that was strong enough to make it happen. ((hugs))
Mary says
I didn’t love the look and a lot of the time I didn’t love the inner me then either. It was a rough time in my life personally which is part of the reason why I ended up so heavy. It’s hard to look at those pictures and remember all of it. But yes, in a way there is strength there because I left, changed, moved on, and am still making myself better everyday. Thanks for the thoughts and your perspective Jewlz.
Jennifer says
You look great! I hope you feel that seeing this pictures truly shows how far you have come! Never doubt yourself, you are a fighter and reading this blog proves it :)
Carrie @ Season It Already! says
You’ve come a long way! Congrats! I’ve been told one of the best pieces of successful weight loss is to take *lots* of pictures of yourself throughout the process. I find that it’s tough to do, but keep trying!
Jess says
One of the best feelings is to know that your friends love you for WHO you are, regardless of how big, small, tall, short you may be. And that says a lot about your character. I definitely know what it’s like to want to avoid seeing your fat photos. I was at that point last year, especially with my weight gain and things going on at home.
But you bring up a good point. I should look at them more. For inspiration. For a reminder of who I don’t want to be. For recognition of the long road ahead but the long way I’ve come along.
So proud of you and your personal growth. You’ve come so far! And seriously, we need to somehow meet up soon. I miss your face.
mimi says
wow.
that’s all i have to say. And Good job.
Whatever the total amount of weight you lost since then made HUGE difference. Seeing those put into perspective a little what you are struggling with. You didn’t get to that size just because you like sweet stuff.
Anyway, when the battle is that big, it’s okay to take breaks. It doesn’t have to be a continuous marathon. it can be lots of little 5ks. The first 50-60lbs was one chunk. Hopefully now you’ve taken a break and you are on to then next 20-30lbs
If you could do that. you can do this.
Mary says
Thanks Mimi. I know you’ve been a long time reader so I really appreciate the comments. I’m glad you get it and you’ve definitely keyed into my mindset a bit. I lost the first 50 and then I had to work on some other stuff. I took a break from weight loss but I went to therapy to help me with the stuff behind the weight, got my binge eating under control, figured out my life/career. It was useful but yeah I’m ready to get rid of the next chunk of weight.
Thanks!