Fear of Change
I’m scared to lose weight. I’m scared to shrink. I’m scared to see my body in a way I’ve never seen it before.
I realized these things a couple nights ago. My body has been changing shape and size lately thanks to lifting weights and it’s been hard for my brain to process the changes. I’ve spent over a year around the 211 weight mark with very few changes in my body. I got comfortable there and now that things are changing it scares me a bit. I’ve encountered these feelings before but I really thought I was over them.
In the back of my mind a voice scared of change wants me to stop. It wants me to stay how I am. I’m comfortable here!
But I’m obviously not going to. Oddly enough my fear of change is very motivating right now. It tells me that things are really happening. The fact that I’m scared of them just motivates me to keep going and see what comes next.
I love strength training. I love making my body work and grow stronger. I love exercising and eating well and seeing the changes in my body. It’s scary, sure, but it’s also exciting. I’ll stick with the exciting part.
Lunch = VEGGIES
I’m trying to up the amount of veggies I eat daily since it’s something I always struggle with. I’ve been doing great getting in at least one salad (several cups of lettuce and/or spinach) a day. I also want to get several more servings of vegetables in as well.
So, today for lunch, I’m eating a package of steamed vegetables.
Yeah, I ate a full bag of steamed vegetables. It’s only 120 calories for the whole thing! I also had a small chicken burrito but the main part of my meal was a big bag of steamed vegetables.
I might start doing that more often. It’s super convenient and a great way to get in more vegetables.
Go Slow, Just Go
And lastly I want to share some motivation I shared yesterday on my Facebook page.
So, so true!! I forget sometimes that most people DON’T WORKOUT AT ALL. I’m so used to being active and being around other people who are active and blogging in an active community, that I forget most people just sit around for the majority of their day without ever getting up (or wanting to). It’s pretty motivating to remember that even when I’m running slow (oh, I’m slow) or struggling to bike uphill (hills are my enemy) or feeling like I’m a failure at my workout, I’m still dominating a huge amount of people who won’t even try.
That makes ya feel good!
LOVE the quote!
And change can be scary. So glad you are using it at motivation! You go!
I like this post.
And I get what you’re saying about changing your body. My life coach asked me today whether I can visualize myself as thin. I said yes, because I haven’t always been fat, although of course I would like my body to look different – more toned and muscular – when I lose all this weight. He said there are people who simply cannot see themselves as thin.
I’ve never been thin except when I was a little kid when those thoughts didn’t exist. I’ve always been overweight since I could remember, and obese since it counted. Visualizing being thin is impossible for me. I try but I have no reference point. I am one of those people he talked about who just can’t see themselves thin.
Getting closer to something I’ve never known is scary at times.
Big fan of those veggies bags. We eat a lot of them here.
Change is scary but when you get to other side it’s never as scary as you anticipated! :)
All of these are great reminders to me, thanks! I was starting to get down on myself for my running pace, forgetting that my goal is to FINISH my first half marathon, not to transform into some kind of speed demon on my first time out of the gate. I think it’s healthy to keep increasing my goals so I don’t stagnate and lose motivation but it’s also easy for me to forget how far I’ve come. Sometimes when I lose motivation or feel like crap on a run, I remind myself of how painful and sad I felt doing even 10 minutes of running in high school gym class, when all the other girls seemed fit and capable while I was overweight and struggling. I should be amazed that in less than ten years I am now someone who can run 9 miles, regardless of the time it takes me, and I actually ENJOY IT.
I wrote about this today – – how its so easy to get caught up in what other people are doing and compare yourself to them, but we should be proud of every move we make and every good decision we make!
That quote is just fantastic – thank you so much for sharing it:)
I’m going to remember it every time the super fast runners whizz by me.
There seems to be so much change going on in your life right now – it must be overwhelming. Just remember, it’s comfortable on the couch too and each change that you action in your life is a lap past everyone who is too scared to take the first step into the unknown.
Yesssss! Sometimes I get frustrated with missing a workout because of work or having an off day or disappointing race, and then I realize – just living the life I do, even if I biff it one day, I rock the socks off people who are either too lazy or too scared to get going.
Congrats on seeing changes – I think my subconscious did the same thing on the way down, but believe me – if you find yourself too skinny and not liking it… it’s pretty easy to REGAIN the weight, heh. :)
I LOVE THAT QUOTE! I just had commented elsewhere for someone t take baby steps & just don’t give up…. you have done that Mary – not given up. Course I love that you love the weights! ;-)
Did i you know that i needed this today!?!? oh gosh, greatness! I have anxiousness and fear about making change! It’s like i’m scared of it, and and still not sure why! Maybe i’ll get looked at in a different light? Maybe i’m nervous about how guys will look at me and react towards me?! Thank you for this :)
I think it’s time for another email chain ;)
Yes please! I’m busy but I always love emails! And we should talk about this more!
I have been in that spots so many times. I realized this time around there is no way to avoid this fear of change other than just going thru it. See what it’s like to see your body change, to continue to grow from the inside out. Love your site!
Our fears is one of the reasons why we are scared to face it. People fail because they are afraid of taking and risking chances. I guess that people should be brave enough to face their greatest fear in life.
Great post, thank you! I love the steamed veggies too. Along with the low calories, the cost at the grocery store is minimal…like $2 I think! Perfect for a healthy snack or side. I love the quote too! Very true and very funny…
I cling to that quote each and every time I run…
This is so true. It is scary to change, even a good one. In 2005, I had a minor surgery, then got a double pneumonia. In 10 days, I lost 25 pounds. More than the weight loss, it was looking at my legs, ”skinny” that scared me most. I just couldn’t recognize myself. Of course, I regain it all, and I believe we might hit plateau to get to love how our body have changed and decide if we want more change. But at the end I’m happy that you have decided to take that fear and use it to move forward!
I think fear of change is normal for many people. Most of the time after all is said and done they are left wondering what they were afraid of.
great articles and comments on weight loss. Bookmarked!
I realized this same thing recently! My friend recently joined my gym and her personal trainer asked her if she has friends that work out. My friend mentioned me, saying she has a friend who works out 5 times a week. Sometimes I get so involved in the blog world and hard on myself for being the size & shape that I am, that I forget that, compared to most people, I’m kind of a bad-ass. Working out has become a natural part of my life, and I forget that most Americans are not doing nearly as much physical activity as me. I realized I was NOT giving myself the credit I deserve for how much I’m doing, in part because I still don’t meet that “thin” ideal I have in my head.
Yes, it is so weird that most people get ZERO exercise, not even a walk, every week. One of the reasons I was feeling so anxious and cooped up when I spent the week with my family in NH. Wake up early and sit around till you go to bed. I became so exasperated! Even with people who do get some movement into their lives, I think you do more than most, mary! Most people I know workout, or at least have to walk around and hike up hills and such to go about their daily lives, so I def forget about how the rest of the country lives!
I love that quote. I need to keep that in mind because sometimes I am not satisfied with how fast I run or bike. Or, even how good my tennis game is. It sure beats doing nothing at all! I, too, also am a fan of the steamed veggies.