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A Merry Life

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How to Take a Compliment…Graciously

January 15, 2010 by Mary

This post may contain affiliate links. Please read my disclosure for details.

Today’s guest post is from Ryan at No More Bacon.  This post is great and deals with something I struggle with – taking compliments.

I’m going to take a quick minute and let all of you unbutton your pants and relax while I tell you a little bit about myself. I’m kind of new to the whole blogging scene but Mary has graciously given me the opportunity to write a guest post while she on her way to what can only be described as a whirlwind romance vacation of a lifetime. It seriously sounds like something from a book (or a chick flick, gross). Way to go Mary!

To get to the meat of the blog post (pun intended, bacon…Ha Ha) I need to give all of you a little back story. I’ve been a fat dude for a long time, as long as I can remember anyway. Six months ago I decided that enough was enough! I was sick and tired of getting winded moving from one coach to the other. I hated the feeling of depression that came over me when I realized I had left the remote control next to pizza boxes right when I sat down to watch another Friends rerun. That Joey is such a character! Now back to our regularly scheduled programming. I hated being fat and I wanted to be around for my family for a very long time so I decided I was going to change my life.

I didn’t only want to lose weight; I also wanted to change my lifestyle completely. I wanted to learn to love eating healthy and exercising. Wow, I was ambitious. During the last six months I’ve lost 100 pounds (give or take), I’ve totally changed my eating habits and I’m exercising six days a week. I feel great! I don’t remember the last time I felt this good. I think I look pretty good too.

This drastic change in physical appearance has turned a few heads. People who I haven’t seen in a year usually double take, or don’t recognize me at all. Even people I work with are extremely supportive and are often giving me compliments and telling me how great I look. THIS HAS BEEN FREAKING ME OUT! I never know what to say or how to say it. I feel like acknowledging that I’ve done something great will make me appear cocky or arrogant. I also don’t want people to feel like their compliments are unappreciated because they definitely are appreciated. I’ve just never been in this kind of position. So the question is…what’s the right way to take a compliment?

I’ve put together some examples here and I’ll be following the Animaniacs “Good Idea, Bad Idea” format.

Good Idea – Show sincere gratitude.

Barbara: Hey Dave, your new toupee is hardly noticeable, I really like it.
Dave: Thanks for noticing Barbara, I appreciate it!

Bad Idea – Act like an arrogant prick and try to pretend like you’re loaded. Everyone hates that!

Barbara: Hey Dave, your new toupee is hardly noticeable, I really like it.
Dave: You should like it I paid a fortune to make it look this good.

Good Idea – Say thank you and try to include your friend in your success

Hank: Wow Mike, your chest has got some real definition lately…looking good!
Mike: Thanks Hank, I’ve been going to a new gym and I think it’s helping. You can come sometime if you’d like.

Bad Idea – Completely disqualify a sincere compliment

Hank: Wow Mike, your chest has got some real definition lately…looking good!
Mike: Oh, it doesn’t look THAT good! I’ve still got a lot of work to do.

Now it is true that Mike may be avoiding an advance from Hank, but nevertheless his approach disqualifies the comment that Hank is giving him. People need their compliments validated. Sometimes it’s harder to give them than it is to receive them.

Good Idea – Smile when you say thank you

Cheryl: Jared, that picture of Carrot Top that you drew is amazing! You should seriously consider selling it!
Jared: *smiling* Thanks, I’ve always liked Carrot Top so it was easy to focus my time on it.

Bad Idea – Change the subject

Cheryl: Jared, that picture of Carrot Top that you drew is amazing! You should seriously consider selling it!
Jared: Do you like bacon?

Smiling really helps when receiving a compliment; it’s another good way to validate what people are saying. Changing the subject on the other hand is a bad idea. Also, Jared liking Carrot Top is just a judgment flaw and in no way influences the rudeness or politeness of his compliment taking abilities.

These are all mistakes that I’ve made in the past but every day I get a little bit better at it.

What are your tactics for taking compliments? Nothing seems to go farther than a simple “Thank You.”

Filed Under: Thoughts Tagged With: compliments, guest post, No More Bacon


« Weight Loss Success Story: Roni
Weight Loss Success Story: Jen, a priorfatgirl »

Comments

  1. LWD says

    January 15, 2010 at 3:56 pm

    Hey thanks for this. I’m super guilty of disqualifying compliments and changing the subject left right and center. It drives my better half crazy, and I’ve been forcing myself / teaching myself to accept someone else’s positive opinion. I don’t particularly like to dwell on the topic so I end up just saying “thanks” or smiling appreciatively or something.
    .-= LWD´s last blog ..The Lost Year =-.

  2. KCLAnderson (Karen) says

    January 15, 2010 at 4:37 pm

    I wish I could remember who told me this way back when, but I always keep in mind that if I somehow discount a compliment that someone is giving me, it’s basically like telling that person that I don’t trust or value his/her judgment. And now, if someone whom I am complimenting isn’t accepting of it, I say, with a kind smile and wink, “are you questioning my judgment?” :-)
    .-= KCLAnderson (Karen)´s last blog ..I Get Knocked Down…But I get Up Again… =-.

  3. Anonymous Fat Girl says

    January 15, 2010 at 4:45 pm

    Congrats on your loss and thanks for the post.
    .-= Anonymous Fat Girl´s last blog ..The creepy Burger King guy isn’t getting any of my money =-.

  4. Jody - Fit at 52 says

    January 15, 2010 at 5:16 pm

    What a great post & funny too with your “examples”. It took me years to learn to say a kind “thank you” vs. oh, well this is wrong or that is wrong. I was always pointing out the bad pats of me. It was so hard that people actually wanted to compliment me after being fat & now not.

    Now, even if I am having a day that I feel UGH, I still say a gracious thank you & offer up some love to them too! Even if it is a stranger.
    .-= Jody – Fit at 52´s last blog ..Workout Shoes,Apparel,Gear Help; Giveaway Winners; Hair =-.

  5. merri says

    January 15, 2010 at 6:47 pm

    I am horrible at compliments. It usually goes like this… them: I like your sneakers. Me: these? Really? Oh well theyre just some cheap ones from h&m. them: you look cute in that outfit me: you think so? Oh I just threw on some clothes that were lying on the floor. (those are real life examples… not as good as your ‘I like bacon’ statement lol). I have to keep remembering not to put down other people’s opinions like that its rude. But then again, ive never been mannerly :)
    .-= merri´s last blog ..Why Gym Resolutions Don’t Last (Mary Poppins It) =-.

  6. Rachel says

    January 15, 2010 at 7:38 pm

    I think it’s great that you’ve attempted to change your entire lifestyle for the better. That’s definitely something I’m trying to work towards, and I’m the first to admit how hard it is. Congratulations on losing so much weight! I’m sure you’ve working extremely hard.

    As far as compliments go, I think we’re sort of trained to be self-deprecating when it comes to getting them. I’m not sure what that stems from. Most women that I know cannot take a compliment without saying something sarcastic or mean about themselves. Definitely something I need to work on! Now if I can just figure out how to get people to compliment more ;)
    .-= Rachel´s last blog ..hummus makes the world go round =-.

  7. Cathy says

    January 15, 2010 at 8:29 pm

    What a great story! That’s an incredible lifestyle change!

    Thanks for the help with accepting compliments. I’ve got the unfortunate habit of responding to compliments by explaining how cheap my clothes are.

    John Doe: You look great today Cathy!
    Me: Oh thanks! I got this skirt for like $15 at Target.

    I’m not sure why I do it – reflex. I’ll try to work on it. :)
    .-= Cathy´s last blog ..I’m in ‘training’ now =-.

  8. South Beach Steve says

    January 15, 2010 at 8:47 pm

    “Thank you” works quite well.
    .-= South Beach Steve´s last blog ..Perfect 10 Update Number Two =-.

  9. Carducci says

    January 16, 2010 at 3:46 pm

    “Hey, thanks a lot. No one told me that before.”

  10. Tara says

    January 17, 2010 at 12:14 am

    I used to love when people noticed my weight loss. Now it just makes me uncomfortable. I say thank you and then try to move on as quickly as possible.

  11. Mike "The Slim Veggie" Gallagher says

    January 17, 2010 at 2:41 pm

    You know that they say… A compliment is something like a kiss through a veil.

Trackbacks

  1. Tweets that mention How to Take a Compliment…Graciously | A Merry Life -- Topsy.com says:
    January 15, 2010 at 9:11 pm

    […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Merry Mary, Trish, Chris Langdon, Sue O'Lear, marvelousmartha and others. marvelousmartha said: RT @nomorebacon: I guest posted…that's like normal posting but in an alternate universe. http://bit.ly/4rpHFw @amerrylife […]

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