A couple days back I set my minimum daily exercise requirement (exercise is non-negotiable!) at 30 minutes. And what have I done since then? Worked out an hour every day. Can’t promise I will keep that up but the extra 30 minutes makes me feel better and doesn’t seem to cut into my schedule. Let’s be honest, I have a very flexible schedule that could fit in even more exercise.
How does my family reward me for all my hard work? They don’t. They notice I’m going to the gym and I’ve dropped a couple of pounds. And for some reason this makes them think I have suddenly changed into someone with amazing strength and willpower. That is why they decide to bring in the temptations.
They seem to think that because I am doing these healthy things I have super willpower. That just because I am really working hard now that I will be able to ignore temptations and will be immune to the things that made me fat. I’m not.
I don’t have super willpower. I hardly even have willpower on most days. I’m not immune to temptation. I’m not a different person. I’m still the same girl, wholoves sweet things to eat.
So their new perspective surprises me. Their actions confound me. I want to scream at them that even though I am working out and eat a salad and leaner foods I’m still the same. If you put a cake on the counter in the kitchen I will eat some of it. If you put snickers in the fridge in front of my veggies, it will drive me crazy until I eat one. If you put these sweet, sugary things in my face I will eat them!! I am not super woman! I can’t resist my personal kryptonite.
When I am outside my house I am fine. I don’t buy myself sweets, I don’t order dessert, I say no to friends offering it (usually). But at home? Its free, its there, and I want it. I do. I love healthy food but I still want the sweet stuff. Mmmmm sugar, get in my mouth.
So it amazes me that my family all the sudden thinks I am a completely different person. We have had “the talk” before. I’ve asked that they please keep the sweet treats out of my sight if they are going to buy them. I know it is unfair to ask my little brother to not have these things just because I can’t. But he and my mom should be able to keep them in his room. Just keep them away from me! I don’t have some new found power over them. They still tempt me. They still will trip me up. I may have changed in other areas, but here I am still the same.
I found it easiest to just eat as many small meals as possible out of the home and then “catch up” on my daily calorie budget with a larger dinner with the family. It’s tough to avoid snacks either way but if you go home with nearly 1000 calories to spare in your daily budget it’s pretty easy to stay on track.
The hard part is not passing out beforehand :P I managed that by not doing anything more strenuous than walking during my pure weight loss phase.
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Hmmm, I know this problem. My S.O. is one of those people who can eat whatever he wants and never gain a pound (which he complains bitterly about since he thinks he needs to “bulk up”) and our roommate couldn’t care less what he weighs, so there are very often lots of tempting foods lying around.
I personally deal with it by claiming to myself that these are not my foods to eat, they belong to “x” and “x” would get very upset if I ate their food. Perhaps another way to deal with it is cute little signs posted on the fridge to give yourself pause when you open the door? Steph at Back in skinny jeans has a lot of them you can print out and stick up everywhere ^_^
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It’s hard dealing with temptation. The best way I know is to stop it from being a temptation. I know, easier said than done. But if we consciously make the choice to eat something we want, and then let ourselves really enjoy it — not cloud the experience with guilt or feelings of failure — we can often find we don’t want it as much as we thought we did — even when it’s staring at us because some unhelpful family member keeps bringing it into the house!
As far as ‘free’ food goes, we always as at Green Mountain whether we want to pay for something once or twice. It may seem like it’s free or at least doesn’t cost extra (such as large portions in restaurants), but when we pay for it in other ways, we realize it really isn’t as free as we thought.
Willpower? I don’t know it really exists for most of us, at least not as a permanent characteristic.
Marsha @ A Weight Lifted’s last blog post..How to Say “I Love My Body” & Mean It
Family can be very sabotaging! I’ve found that most families fear change and will try to keep things, and people, the same… I know you’ve been talking about striking out on your own. That may be a good idea. Until then, keep the goal in mind and be strict with yourself!
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@Daniel J. Pritchett
Hehe, you found my blog through FriendFeed I see. :) That is actually very close to what I do. I eat small meals during the day and only one snack and eat a bigger dinner because its after I work out and with my family. It is working out well enough for me.
@Meg
The idea of signs is cute, but I would be made fun of endlessly. I already have it rough at home so I’ll try to avoid any more unneccessary teasing. Pretty sure ALL my brothers would make fun of me for that.
@ Marsha
I’m working on that, but still not there yet. So it is a frustrating experience. Also, when you are as broke as I am “free” food is free food. LOL
And willpower definitely isn’t something real. People pretend it is, but its so flighty that is isn’t a real characteristic.
Hanlie
I am moving out in July, and I CAN’T WAIT! But that is a while away still and I’m trying to really kick it up with the healthy eating and weight loss in June. So my family is driving me crazy. But yes, I’m moving out soon and things will be better.
Gah, I know what you mean! It’s tough tough tough. Since I moved out in September its been great to have a lot more control over that kind of thing, although the roommate still sometimes has stuff in the house that I’d prefer she didn’t… guess that’s just life messing with us.
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Hey Mary,
Make sure to get nutrient rich food early in the day, so your body will be satisfied with the nutrients that it NEEDS, and will be less likely to feel the want for sweets! Also, eating every few hours, in a healthy way will stimulate your metabolism and redirects your body’s choices. Lots of water, and try chromium picolinate. It regulates your body’s desire for sugar.
Let me know how these tactics work. Can we give it a week’s try? Let me know by the end of next week, ok?
Take care,
Lisa (MsFit)
I can cope with other people’s food if it is just stored in container, even a see-through container seems to work. Some kind of mental barrier that stops me from wanting it. Maybe get them their own plastic boxes to store their own goodies in?
Well done at the good work so far though!
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I’ve been there, heck I am still there.
The kids like cookies. Daddy likes cookies. The kids like to share with their Daddy. You can see how this is going to end.
I started eating half. That’s my rule, rather than have the temptation taunt me and be on my mind all the time I only eat half of whatever the serving is and throw the rest out. (only when my will power is low or not there though).
You’ll never be able to completely change how the rest of your family behaves with food around you no matter how much you beg them too. The half rule works well for me and the people around me.
Good luck Mary.
Steve
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@Lisa
Thanks for the tips Lisa. I do eat every few hours, usually 3 or 4. I also drink a ton of water daily. I <3 water. I've never heard of chromium picolinate though. I will look into that.
@Fat[free]Me
For me that doesn’t work as well. It works better, just not as well as them keeping it in their own area. Even if a cake is in a container it still screams at me when it is sitting on the kitchen counter which I CONSTANTLY see (dang open house).
@Steve
The half rule sounds like a good idea. I can try it? I’m not the best with moderation rules, lol. I gotta figure out how to work with this though so I can definitely try it!
Can you move the offending foods when you see them? Maybe put the cake in the pantry and leave a note telling everyone where it is? I’ve done that at my parent’s house, and it’s worked well. Just a thought!
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Yaah, you are right Hanlie, I am agree with you. You should keep your goal in your mind and be strict with yourself.
You know, I lost 150 pounds 12 years ago and have kept it off. I dealt with this problem too. It was really my husband just not thinking things through. I remember one time he went out of town and as a treat, left me an entire pound of peanut M&M’s! I asked him what in the world he was thinking, and he said he was trying to help me not get nervous staying by myself! It took everything I had to get rid of those candies, because I still wanted to eat the whole bag, even though I was doing so well at my weight loss. Great post, and thanks for sharing!
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