Almost 3 years ago I went to live in Salzburg, Austria for a semester of college. What I learned during that semester had very little to do with school, where I failed German tests on occasion, but everything to do with me, life, and not surprisingly, weight. I’ve been thinking about that time a lot lately as I prepare for what seems like a similar situation, so I’ll be posting a bit on the experience.
From the moment I arrived in Europe I was judged based on my weight. I was at 210 pounds, which was actually a decent weight for me after losing weight earlier in college. I felt healthy and was pretty active playing intramural sports at school. I wasn’t as huge as I once was but I was still quite overweight which apparently made me clearly identifiable as an American.
I felt like every interaction went like this:
Austrian: “Hello! How are you?”
Me: “Guten tag!”
Austrian: “Speak English! I know you are American! I won’t speak German with you.”
Me: “Um, ok. Yeah, I am American.”
The conversation almost always continued in English because I was too embarrassed at being so easily spotted as an American.
I failed my German tests in Austria because I never spoke German. Seriously, I rarely got a chance. I didn’t have great German skills to being with and needed practice, but Austrians would rarely speak anything but English with me because they wanted to practice their English with an American. (Finding people who didn’t speak English was like winning the lottery.) Besides my host mom, and some friends my age, I rarely spoke German. Most people rarely gave me the chance to even speak one word of German, because with one look at my body they assumed – correctly, mind you – that I was an American. I was always asked where I was from in America. No one ever thought I was from another place. My skinnier classmates managed to pretend they were European at times but I never got that luxury, even though there are overweight people in Austria.
During that semester I learned that more than ever first impressions count. People judge you and make assumptions based on what you look like. From that assumption they then make other assumptions, like the need to tell you they don’t have super size meals or serve coke, like the need to talk about how your size probably won’t be in the store, like the need to single you out from the rest of your skinny friends. I was often judged as the unhealthy American before I even opened my mouth to say anything.
[[Funny story: Me and three other girls went to Florence over the weekend for Carnival. When we were in the middle of the square I felt someone looking at me. It was a strange feeling but I just knew someone kept looking at us. After scanning the crowd we noticed two asian men and a woman staring at us. After a few seconds I noticed one of the guys pointed his camera at us. I mentioned it to my friends who said he wasn’t doing anything and I was being silly. When he did it a few more time we realized that he was taking pictures of us. We ended up going over to them and asking if they were taking pictures of us. While they didn’t seem to speak English but they knew how to say USA and were slightly embarassed yet excited that we had noticed them taking our picture. They pulled me into a picture and seemed obsessed with me. It was obvious I had been the one they were photographing, which felt strange and I couldn’t help but laugh. It was super strange experience, but I always assumed it was because I was bigger and stood out among my skinny sorority girl friends, who were completely amused by incident.]]
What hurt more than anything about being judged by weight was my inability to control it. I was American but I didn’t want to be judged as the unhealthy stereotypical American. I didn’t want to further cement the idea that all Americans are lazy and unhealthy. Yet I felt like I was exactly that stereotype the entire semester. I was running (around 2 miles at the time) a couple times of week and super active while I was living there, but I never felt like I was anything but FAT. I couldn’t shake the feeling because I was constantly reminded that I was bigger by my host mom (that’s another post in itself) and everyone I met. Hopefully next time I live abroad I won’t represent the unhealthy American stereotype so well.
I know exactly what you’re talking about! It really sucks some of the joy out of travelling. Being fat and Asian and going to Asian countries is pretty much the same. People can automatically tell you’re from North America (Canada in my case) and constantly feel the need to tell you you’re “big-boned” as in “My! What big bones you have!” even when they don’t know your name. I sometimes feel like charging them money for gawping at me since they already treat me like a travelling circus freakshow.
Austria is surprising though…I didn’t think Austrians were a particularly thin bunch.
Are you sure it wasn’t because you were poorly dressed? Kidding… :)
@Caroline
I dunno. Some were, some weren’t. My host over there wasn’t particularly small but always felt a need to point out my size.
@BodyByPizza
Hahaha. Yeah I thought about that before, but honestly I really didn’t dress like I did at home. I wanted to fit in so badly I left all my stuff with logos and hoodies and the such at home. I pretty much started shopping immediately when I landed in Europe and dressed pretty much how other people my age did, as much as I could. I wasn’t exactly walking around in white tennis shoes and a fanny pack.
This is one of my biggest fears about traveling abroad. I do not want to be seen as the fat, lazy American. I know that it is destined to be so.
What a terrible experience. I bet that the people taking pictures weren’t taking pictures of you because of your size. I saw the pics of you at 200 and you carried your weight well, and didn’t look more than 170 or so. Also, Puerto Rico would be a nice relief if you’re looking to study abroad again. They’re not superficial at all, and the larger women are just as accepted and considered just as attractive as the thing women. ;-)
Oh gosh, I studied in Sweden and maybe I was drunk too often, but I didn’t feel too out of place. But I feel this way so many times now with my husband’s teammates. Of course I’m not a pro triathlete or any type of triathlete because I’m fat. I don’t fit in. I hate it (I do want to scream, I ran 10 MILES!!!! I should belong! but my belly tells a different story)
@Art
Art, don’t let it hold you back. It sucks, but it isn’t the end of the world.
@Jill
Haha thanks! And I’ve actually been to Puerto Rico for a week and I loved it there. I absolutely LOVE anywhere south of the US border… central American countries are my favorite.
@MackAttack
Hahaha. I was drunk waaaaaay too often when I was abroad. I think part of the problem was being in Salzburg that relies soooo heavily on tourism (hello Sound of Music tours!) that they can spot Americans super easy. It’s a fabulous city though. Loved my experience there.
I’m sorry you felt so conspicuous. I haven’t been to Europe in years, but I would probably be mistaken for an American if I were to go any time soon!
Wow…sorry about your experience in Austria! Interesting reflection!
I also had a simliar situation with Asian guys taking my picture. I was playing pool with a good friend and my boyfriend (now husband). These Asian guys were blatantly checking me out, taking pictures AND video. I don’t know if it is because they weren’t used to seeing a very large girl or what. My husband (who still laughs about it 10 years later) has spouted off some crap about some asian cultures revering the overweight body as highly sexual. Who knows….I personally think he said that to boost my self esteem…..whatever. But it is a story that we still laugh about!
I’m sorry that was hard for you. I haven’t been overseas since I was a child. I felt judged instead, here in America, by thinner friends, co-workers, and store clerks.
It’s hard wherever it happens isn’t it?
I agree, there is a huge stigma in Europe about being overweight.
I have Aunts and Uncles who worry about their ‘growing’ nation and by growing I mean an extra 10 or 20 lbs. 200+ lb people are a disgrace to society.
The availability of clothes for bigger women is also almost non-existent. The few shops that exist in our town are in a pretty rough area and forget about going to a normal department store!
It’s definitely interesting to see the difference.
@MaryFran
Actually I’m glad that happened to someone besides me. It was sooo funny and my friends made fun of me for a while. Hahah.
@Diane
I think being judged for being overweight is universal. Even in cultures where it is more prevalent (USA!) people still judge negatively.
@Rebecca
Yeah, I had issues with shopping while I was there. H&M was pretty much the only place I could find clothes that fit me, so I just avoided all the other stores. Good thing I liked H&M’s style. :)
It doesn’t change the feelings, but I think the problem is sterotyping anyone. We don’t know from sight alone why any of us are the way we are, and placing that label on others is just wrong. And human. I know I need to be especially vigilant about it.
If it helps at all, I’m a French professor, and probably the main stereotype that French people have about Americans is not that they are fat but that they are ignorant (don’t understand their own/ world politics, history, etc.) So once you start talking to people — in whatever language — you break down very important barriers that have nothing to do with size. I’m really sorry you felt judged, though. I am going to France next semester with some students, and I have thought about that issue several times.
@Jenny
Sadly, for a lot of Americans, that stereotype of ignorance is true. But for the majority of people who travel and want to interact with the rest of the world it is not. Have fun in France with your students!
I am really sorry you felt that the folks in Austria singled you out because you were fat. I was there a couple of years back (and I weigh 220) and did not experience that but then I’m in my 50’s and dress more like a European when I travel over there…. dark conservative clothes, etc. Your weight might have tipped them off but more likely it was simply your body language. Americans generally stick out whereever they go, whether they are “zaftig” (German word for large cuddly people) or not. We tend to be more casual and and unafraid to gawk.
As to your host pointing out your size that was pretty impolite. I wonder how she would have felt to be described as “old” or some other such label.
As to the comment from someone about Asians thinking large people are sexy…. yes some cultures there do…. the ones more toward Indonesia and further South if I remember rightly. It is a sign of prosperity. You have to be very rich to be halthy and afford to carry alot of weight.
One of my dreams is to visit Europe and Greece and every time I think about it I also think I cannot do it because I will stand out like a sore thumb!
I guess we all need to take a lesson or two from other countries and change the way we eat.
Dammit why couldn’t I have been born in Italy! LOL
I tend to agree with Meg. I was in Italy a few months ago with tons of family and friends who came along for my wedding there. I’m at about my ideal weight (though of course there are plenty of things I’d gladly change about my body). I speak Italian fluently and speak it at home with my husband whose English isn’t as good as my Italian. I also have brownish hair, so it’s not like I’m platinum blonde or something. I also dress in the same style as his family and often share clothes with his sister or cousins. But in cities in Italy that have a lot of appeal to tourists, I and my family and friends had the same experience — immediately identified as Americans. No one in my group jumps to mind as being overweight — lots of lankiness in my family — and no one was dressed in tennis shoes or t-shirts. I can’t say exactly what it is, but don’t attribute it solely to your size. Mannerisms, volume, accent, group dynamics, style of clothing, style of accessories, season of clothing (in Italy people seem to be much colder than in the US — we’d wear short sleeves, they grab a light jacket with their long sleeves), parcels being carried, facial features, confidence, word choice, hand on which you wear a wedding ring, proximity at which you stand to hold a conversation, whatever factor or factors they use, they can spot Americans a mile away. And at least in Italy, they’re taught there are 5 continents (North and South America count as one), so being called an American means they think you could be from USA, Canada, Mexico, Brazil, Chile, etc. If that’s any comfort. But regardless, they can peg us as USA-ians immediately as well.
I think here & elsewhere, we are all judged by our looks.. whether that be too heavy , too thin, not pretty enough & more. I wish we could all be accepted for just who we are as a person!