A Merry Life

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Just A Reminder

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Over the past two years of writing this blog it has become something very important to me.  I almost hate to say that is has changed my life, but it has.  I’m not the same person I was when I started writing it and I’m a much better and wiser person for it.

I’ve thoroughly enjoyed sharing my experiences with you.  The good and the bad… all of it.  But sometimes I forget that this is MY blog.  I forget that the negative or snarky comments I get don’t mean anything as much as my mission here – to change my life for the better. 

When you blog you open yourself up to comments (unless you close them) and that means you daily have people giving advice and telling you what they think they you should do.  Sometimes it is good advice.  Sometimes it’s not.  Sometimes it’s not advice at all but an insult disguised as advice.  People love to give their opinion and generally I enjoy that.  I LOVE the conversation a blog fosters.  I love that we all can discuss these things and give each other advice and encouragement here.  Even disagreements are cool when they are genuinely nice and not an attack.

But it’s still my blog.  I forget that sometimes.  Even though I’m writing about my experiences I sometimes forget that in the end it’s mine.  I forget that this is my record of how I’ve changed my life.  I forget that though I write about trying new things and being in love and living boldly now, I was once a scared depressed teenager who watched more opportunities pass her by than she can remember.   I forget that I almost was in that exact same place last year and if it wasn’t for my blog and my committment to it that I would have stayed there.

Now I’m 40 pounds lighter and living a much healthier and happier life.  I’m not burying myself in food to numb out.  Instead of turning to food I either go cry it out (yeah, I’m a cry baby) or come blog or go hit the gym, depending on which is most needed.  Over the past two years I’ve figured out that emotional eating and bad habits were the main problems that I needed to figure out. So I did.  I’ve learned (and am still learning) how to deal with things.  And I’m much healthier for it.

But I’m not losing weight very fast.  I’m not making “aggressive” changes.  I’m a picky eater who doesn’t like a lot of foods and is just learning how to cook for myself.  My weight loss is slow.  It’s not entertaining and doesn’t wow people when I weigh in to lose .5 -1 lbs.  Sure this might be a weight loss blog, but my weight loss isn’t astounding.   It’s slow, it’s pretty steady, and I’m hoping it’s sustainable because of the healthy habits I’ve created. 

But that may not be what you want to hear.  In fact I know that’s not what some of you want to hear.  You want to know how to lose 20 pounds as quickly as possible.  You want to know which diet helps you lose weight the fastest.  You want to know all the things I don’t and never will know or talk about. 

I’m not perfect.  I’m not a chef.  I’m not a dietician.  I’m not a doctor.  I’m not a personal trainer.  My journery might mean nothing to you and that’s okay.  It’s still my journey and important to me.  It’s important to the girl who used to drown herself in food and consume herself with the thoughts of it  while watching life pass her by because she was too scared. 

I’ve come a long way, but today I just needed to remind myself of why I’m doing this.  Thanks for listening.

Comments

  3. Way to go Mary! By writing your experiences you help and inspire others. It is your blog and all of the good that comes out of it for us is a side effect ;)
    You are doing amazing!
    XO

  5. I’m glad you’re hanging tough and staying true to yourself, Mary. I read a variety of blogs because I genuinely do appreciate a variety of voices and approaches to some of our mutual goals! I read your blog because you are YOU, doing things YOUR way. I don’t *want* you to be me or anyone else; just yourself. And that’s exactly what you do!
    .-= Hilary @ Tiny Glow´s last blog ..How I Lost 15 Lbs Without Even Trying =-.

  6. That is why you’re real. You’re not dropping 3lbs per week..and most people (women) aren’t. You live your life to the fullest and don’t apologise either which way. I ADORE people who are real, from the heart and honest. That is why I enjoy reading your stories, insight, etc. It’s so nice to think ‘man I feel like that’ or ‘she knows what I am thinking’.

    Keep being you…
    .-= Michelle @ SugarWand´s last blog ..Day 2: Dopamine and Sugar =-.

  7. I think you’re doing great. As long as you know where you want to go on your journey, no one else matters. Thanks for letting us read your experiences.
    .-= Blake´s last blog ..Get Some Sleep =-.

  8. That’s right, Mary! It’s YOUR blog. YOUR journey. As you grow and change, others who follow you here may also grow and change as a result of knowing you. But the haters can kiss it. May they all eat a vat of cookie dough while sleepwalking and then NOT know why they gained 20 pounds. Bah!
    .-= Yum Yucky´s last blog ..Tasting! Michael Angelo’s Veggie Lasagna =-.

  9. You’re a tough gal. I like your blog because you’re real. Your progress is a lot like mine, slow like a turtle. I’ve always liked turtles. :) You’ve helped to remind me that each of our journeys are our own and the speed of it doesn’t really matter. For me as long as I feel good about the efforts I’m making on my journey, I’m okay with whatever progress it results in. Love your blog!!

  12. LOL, what Jack said.

    I get the same snivel occasionally in my email box… “Why don’t you just get serious and do blah blah blah and lose the weight?” Well when we blog, we are SHARING. We are not in it to please everyone or we’d go nuts. We are just telling what we are doing. And your blog is YOURS and that’s what makes it wonderful. If you start trying to please people with the blog, it becomes their blog.

    You are unique and wonderful and have something special to share, and you do not have to fit into the “Perfect Blogger Mode” or dropping exactly 2.5 pounds per week every week and never getting discouraged. Thank you for being real!

  14. Someone sent me a note on Twitter with a blog entry about bungee jumping – which I did enjoy reading – and then I followed a link to a Merry Life blog. I smiled reading your entries. I’m on a weight loss journey too. I’ve tried plans that promised big results fast. I tried extreme diets, pills and exercise off and on for years without sustainable success. I strongly believe slow and steady is the way to go. In 2008 I lost 20 pounds and kept it off. In 2009 I dropped another 20 pounds and kept it off. Here I am in 2010 and I find myself signed up for my first half marathon. Life is cool. Your blog entry inspired me to jump onto my own blog and update it. It’s been too long. Way to go you!

  18. I’ve only recently come to realize some of the same things you mention here. It is our own INDIVIDUAL journey. We each have our own lessons to learn. Our bodies will respond differently to different things.

    Let the people who are looking for a quick fix go elsewhere…they’ll find they’re right back where they started eventually, while you’re still slowly but surely losing weight. :)
    .-= Ami´s last blog ..Getting Fit (Again) =-.

  19. Yay Mary! Yes, it’s your blog, your journey, your business. Hey, I’ve only lost two pounds since starting my own blog, but I keep going. I’ve decided maybe my blog is more to support those who are struggling than to be a big inspirational “20 pounds in 20 days” type thing. You keep doing your thing, and don’t worry about anybody else.
    .-= Janet´s last blog ..Still At It- Update =-.

  22. I tweeted about this earlier but I’m going to say it again. F–k all the mean people that are downing you. You have a good heart and you’re doing this for the right reasons. You cannot please everyone.

    I enjoy your posts (and your blog) and I’m proud of you for sticking to this journey. And this is a journey, not a quick destination. I love ya girl! :)
    .-= Anonymous Fat Girl´s last blog ..I suck ass at lunges with multiple steps + some shout outs =-.

  23. Mary, OMG, I loved this post!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah, tell the people that want to lose it fast & easy to come back to us in a year & tell us if they kept it off! It is all about finding your own way & your journey! If you don’t like your life while you are doing it, it ain’t gonna last long term. You are doing what is right for you & I bet that you will be the one laughing the hardest at the end! So proud of you Mary!
    .-= Jody – Fit at 52´s last blog ..Treadmill Challenge; Towel Giveaway Winner! =-.

  24. Mary, I sincerely apologize if I was one of those snarky posters. I’m not great with those things in real life, and it’s harder to convey my thoughts through typing. I’ve actually referred people to your blog. I genuinely enjoy hearing about how hard you are working, and the good and bad feelings that come with it. The world is full of people who wouldn’t do 1/100th of what you are doing, and it’s great to see that you are really doing it!

  25. As a lifestyle coach that works with hundreds of clients initially looking to achieve “the quick fix”, I want to congratulate you, not only on your success, but on your strength in understanding that healthy, sustainable weight loss oftentimes does happen slowly, isn’t entertaining to read about, etc!

    But what is amazing to read about is your honesty…weight loss is a journey (and oftentimes, not an easy one). It requires a strength in spirit that you have clearly represented here. Your blogs is your blog, but I assure you that it has had a hand in helping thousands feel “normal”, be able to relate to, and find inspiration in!

    Keep it coming, and again, congratulations!!

  26. Good on ya! As for those people who put negative comments that aren’t constructive I’d just laugh it off. If you think about what are they really bringing to the conversation, and in a face to face situation they wouldn’t have the confidence to say it to your face. Don’t let them grind you down, you’re doing great work which is more than can be said of them!
    .-= Barry´s last blog ..Why All Diets Fail =-.

  27. I have a Fiction Workshop class this semester and in a couple weeks I have to hand out 17 copies of my short story to my Professor and classmates. They will then will have a go at telling me what they think works, what sucks, etc. But at the end of the day it’s my piece and when I revise it, I can use their input or completely ignore them.

    So what I mean is yes, obviously, this blog is your story. Thanks for sharing with us.
    .-= Alexia´s last blog ..GASP! I look SO skinny! =-.

    • Oh no! I don’t think my analogy works! I didn’t mean that we’re here to tell you what “works, what’s sucks, etc” like how it works in my class.

      I simply meant that your blog is your story.
      .-= Alexia´s last blog ..GASP! I look SO skinny! =-.

  28. Amen! I think you’re absolutely right. I know I’ve experienced some of this on my own blog, and I know how frustrating that can be. I’m glad you reclaimed ownership of your blog and are taking back control. (not that you ever lost control, but you know what I mean). I have learned so much by reading your blog, and I thank you for that. Slow weight loss can be very entertaining, because it’s fun to hear all that you’re experiencing along the way.
    .-= Bella´s last blog ..Lots of Posts in the Works! =-.

  29. Mary,

    The reason – and the only reason – I read yours and every other blog I follow is because you’re you here. You are genuine in your weight loss approach and you’re not trying to be an aggressive weight loser, you’re trying to be a balanced and healthy weight loser. You prioritize holistic health over a number on a scale, and you offer the very real trial and tribulations on learning to change who you are to change how you look. Thank you very much for sharing your story, and I can’t wait to read what’s more to come.

  31. Its your blog and we’re just the passengers. Write it however you want and if any of us don’t like it, we can stop reading. I don’t think id stop reading, cuz I love your blog. :) I can see how much your life and yourself has changed in the year or so I’ve been reading your blog (actually I have no idea how long its been but its been a medium amount of time) and I think that’s awesome. Some people find it easier to be mean online because there is that barrier of a computer and facelessness, maybe to them its not like everyone are real people. Ive noticed that even a lot more on other blogs than yours people can be absolutely vicious, and ive even had that happen to me. (this same thing happens when people call on the phone to customer service people and are super mean too). Anyway my point was, ignore those people, most of us love your blog, and even if we didn’t its all about YOU! (until you come over to my blog lol).
    .-= merri´s last blog ..San Diego Trip: Days 0 and 1: Getting our Bearings =-.

  32. Mary you are an inspiration. In fact, you were a driving force behind me starting a new weight loss blog of mine own. (I’ve followed your blog silently for the last little while). My progress has been slow but steady and the lifestyle changes have been progressing at the same pace. But progress is progress and each and everyone of us takes that journey in our own way. I’m proud of you for recognizing this and not allowing the critics to take away the incredible changes you’ve made to make your life better. Thank you for being an inspiration by telling YOUR story, and for being one of the reasons I wanted to share mine…enjoy your weekend! – M

  34. So true!

    And for the record, I come to your blog because it’s real. Because you’re not losing big numbers. Because you struggle. Because sometimes weight loss sucks and doesn’t go as planned. Because your honest about that and you share it and move on.
    .-= Tina´s last blog ..Kitchen Organization =-.

  37. Great post…keep em coming! I’ll def be reading! I like your blog because you’re real and…how can I say this…I just love it that you post when you struggle AND succeed…b/c I struggle a lot and feel like I’m alone at struggling sometimes.
    And probably b/c you live close…neighbor!
    .-= Craig´s last blog ..Week 25 Progress & Perfect Ten Update =-.

  38. I love when people think their advice is so “one size fits all.” Guess what, if it was as easy as this, this and this then EVERYONE would do it and be fit. If people have something of value to add, then add it but do it RESPECTFULLY. This applies to anyone in any forum. If you can’t show a modicum of respect, zip the lip and move on. Keep rockin’ your journey, YOUR way!

  39. you make such a great point – it is sometimes easy to forget that we blog mainly for ourselves – it is only when we try to please everyone else that we start getting off track.
    .-= lauralei´s last blog ..Getting back on track =-.

  42. Wow! I genuinely commend you for your honesty and perseverance. Thank you for sharing your experiences with us. <3

    Keep being you!

  43. Lately I’ve been feeling like I’m not so much writing for me anymore but for the followers and it’s caused me to lose a bit of interest- which I really don’t want to do. I think I need to begin to write for myself again- thanks for giving me the courage and letting me know that this is what it’s really all about anyways.

  44. Ya, considering how far I had to scroll to leave this comment, you’re loved! lol. It’s your blog and you can delete whom you want to, ;)
    .-= Kat´s last blog ..Negative Nelly =-.

  47. You’re so right! This is your blog, your health, and your weight loss. Don’t listen to the critics and naysayers, because the important part is that you’re doing it and you’re remaining healthy! Keep it up :)
    .-= Rachel´s last blog ..Weekly Wrap Up =-.

  48. Honestly, losing slowly is the ONLY way to lose weight. Period! Just like people who win lotteries ,spend away all the money and end up broke, people who lose weight too quickly, gain it back just as quickly and then some.
    The reason is that quick weight loss does not give you a chance to change habits for the better. Whereas, slow weight loss helps you change habits at the very root. So while the change is slow, it really “holds up” well with time.
    Way to go with the 40 lb loss. Slow and steady wins the race..( There is no race by the way )…
    .-= Harshathlete´s last blog ..Week 15 …. Back to weight loss after a week of good rest =-.

  50. I’m a lurker but I can’t lurk on this post…

    Girl, I’m a weight loss/healthy living blogger that’s lost NO weight. Well I’ve lost it… then gained. Then lost. Then gained. and now I’m at a high.

    But you know what: F&*! the readers. Wait, that came out wrong. F9@! those that hold you up to their standards and don’t let you live by yours. Because lets be honest, those mean commenters are commenting b/c the obvious have their own issues they are dealing with.

    I recently revamped my blog to focus less on numbers. I even renamed it “The Scenic Route”. You know what, it’s my journey. I’d rather take my time, enjoy the ride, and know I can sustain it over time.

    YOU’VE LOST 40 lbs! Once again, YOU’VE LOST 40 LBS! Focus on that! You are awesome. You are awesome, regardless of your speed :-)

  52. Thanks for your blog. I found it about a month ago and have throughly enjoyed it and your journey. I appreciate that your open about your struggles because it has helped me come to terms with mine.

  53. Awwwwww! I hear you! And understand completely. I want the comments to be open in order to start conversations cause that’s the best part! But it’s really tough to receive hateful comments. They seem so unnecessary, but we keep writing! Glad you have enjoyed your blog so much. And I will keep on listening!
    .-= Casey´s last blog ..How to Make a Photo Collage =-.

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