Over the past two years of writing this blog it has become something very important to me. I almost hate to say that is has changed my life, but it has. I’m not the same person I was when I started writing it and I’m a much better and wiser person for it.
I’ve thoroughly enjoyed sharing my experiences with you. The good and the bad… all of it. But sometimes I forget that this is MY blog. I forget that the negative or snarky comments I get don’t mean anything as much as my mission here – to change my life for the better.
When you blog you open yourself up to comments (unless you close them) and that means you daily have people giving advice and telling you what they think they you should do. Sometimes it is good advice. Sometimes it’s not. Sometimes it’s not advice at all but an insult disguised as advice. People love to give their opinion and generally I enjoy that. I LOVE the conversation a blog fosters. I love that we all can discuss these things and give each other advice and encouragement here. Even disagreements are cool when they are genuinely nice and not an attack.
But it’s still my blog. I forget that sometimes. Even though I’m writing about my experiences I sometimes forget that in the end it’s mine. I forget that this is my record of how I’ve changed my life. I forget that though I write about trying new things and being in love and living boldly now, I was once a scared depressed teenager who watched more opportunities pass her by than she can remember. I forget that I almost was in that exact same place last year and if it wasn’t for my blog and my committment to it that I would have stayed there.
Now I’m 40 pounds lighter and living a much healthier and happier life. I’m not burying myself in food to numb out. Instead of turning to food I either go cry it out (yeah, I’m a cry baby) or come blog or go hit the gym, depending on which is most needed. Over the past two years I’ve figured out that emotional eating and bad habits were the main problems that I needed to figure out. So I did. I’ve learned (and am still learning) how to deal with things. And I’m much healthier for it.
But I’m not losing weight very fast. I’m not making “aggressive” changes. I’m a picky eater who doesn’t like a lot of foods and is just learning how to cook for myself. My weight loss is slow. It’s not entertaining and doesn’t wow people when I weigh in to lose .5 -1 lbs. Sure this might be a weight loss blog, but my weight loss isn’t astounding. It’s slow, it’s pretty steady, and I’m hoping it’s sustainable because of the healthy habits I’ve created.
But that may not be what you want to hear. In fact I know that’s not what some of you want to hear. You want to know how to lose 20 pounds as quickly as possible. You want to know which diet helps you lose weight the fastest. You want to know all the things I don’t and never will know or talk about.
I’m not perfect. I’m not a chef. I’m not a dietician. I’m not a doctor. I’m not a personal trainer. My journery might mean nothing to you and that’s okay. It’s still my journey and important to me. It’s important to the girl who used to drown herself in food and consume herself with the thoughts of it while watching life pass her by because she was too scared.
I’ve come a long way, but today I just needed to remind myself of why I’m doing this. Thanks for listening.