The other night I almost gave up on this whole thing. After I ate pizza and felt horrible physically then saw the number on the scale go up I was ready to throw in the towel.
All I could think about was the fact that I’ve been on this journey for almost seven years. And I’m still not at my goal.
If that’s not enough to make you want to give up, nothing is.
I kept thinking, almost seven years and I still am not at my goal weight, I still haven’t achieved all my fitness goals, I’m still struggling to find the best way to eat, I still am not finished. Almost seven years and I’m still not finished. All I could think was that I’m tired of this.
I really, really wanted to give up. I wanted to stop thinking about it. I wanted to stop writing this blog. I wanted to abandon the quest and just fade into the background living a not-healthy less-than-awesome life where at least no one would care what I did.
It was the first time I’ve ever really thought about giving up for good. Clearly I didn’t let that part of me win since I’m here another day, checking in and following the path to healthiness. I didn’t let that happen because I thought about what I have done in the past several years.
In those years I’ve traveled the world, I’ve lost 40 lbs and maintained it easily, I’ve tried new sports and activities, I’ve completed a triathlon, I’ve learned to love and accept my body, I’ve kept living and kept striving for the best health possible. I’ve done a lot since I started. I’m in no way even close to the person I was when I started.
Being in the blogging weight loss world I’ve seen a lot of people give up. People come and go and sometimes show back up a few months or years later explaining how they gave up for a while. I don’t do that. I keep going and keep updating even if I’m just maintain my progress. I admit that sometimes I’ve been jealous of the people who just quit because staying but not finishing is a million times more embarrassing than if I was to just fade away. Yet I’ve created this little space on the internet that keeps me going, even if I feel like giving up.
Two days after all this inner turmoil I feel great. Seriously, I feel awesome. I’m not even sure what to attribute this awesome feeling to but I love it. Apparently the best days always come after the worst.
Have you ever felt like giving up losing weight or being healthy? What keeps you going?
I’m glad you aren’t giving up. I’m fairly new to the blogging world but in the last year I’ve seen too many blogs disappear. No word from the author–they just gave up. I knew in my heart that they had given up on trying to lose weight and just couldn’t face their readers. It’s sad. Understandable, but sad.
Losing weight is hard work. It takes a long time to “unlearn” all those bad habits that packed on the pounds. Plus, not everything works the same way for everyone.
For me, giving up was never an option. Sure I was discouraged, I felt frustrated when I got stuck, and angry when I hit plateaus that never seemed to end…It took me 2 years to lose 100 pounds. I see other people losing weight much faster than me, then I compare myself. But in the end it’s all about everyone’s individual body chemistry and genes I think. I will never weigh 120 pounds. I’m stocky, I’m short, I’m muscular. That is never going to be skinny. I am okay with that.
Hang in there. Sorry about the novel. Don’t give up. :)
Mary, you took the words right out of my mouth today. I just sat down to blog and was thinking much the same as what you wrote. How about I just copy and paste your blog today?! ;) Anyway, we are doing the right thing… not giving up. Let’s just keep on trying because ONE DAY it will all come together for us! I BELIEVE it!
Go for it. My content is your content. ;)
I’m glad tho that someone like you knows how I feel. I really look up to you and love your blog so that means a lot.
love your perseverance! it helps me stick to what i need to do!
thanks for being you!
I’ve felt like you more times than I care to admit. But I keep telling myself I’m a “warrior”. I am constantly picking myself up as “quiting” is not an option. These are things I tell myself to turn things around. You are so right to look at all that you have accomplished. I’ve refosed my thoughts a little and tell myself IT’S ABOUT THE JOURNEY OF WEIGHTLOSS that is so important. The destination is great but would you give up the journey? Heck no.
Hang in there… keep coming to the blog. Keep sharing your feelings. I’ve leaned through blogging that I’m not alone. It helps.
As someone who’s been at it since Jan of 2000 (11 years) and 13 failed attempts (see my weight loss timeline on my site) I can totally understand and relate to wanting to give up. This is such a hard thing to do. While it’s seemingly easy to put it on it’s so hard to take it off. Heck, I was up 7+ lbs of water weight eating and the last 4 days with family in town.
Just remember the why’s behind getting healthy and what you’ve accomplished to date. You’re a strong woman that has and will continue to conquer this on YOUR terms!! Keep at it, push through it, and NEVER give up :)
I have water weight issues so whenever I eat slightly too much sodium I am a balloon and the scale freaks me out. Bah.
Thanks for the encouragement Sean!
Maintenance keeps me going. When I ht 240 it was a massive plateau. Years long… but the idea that (+/- 7 lbs) my weight was not going up or down was very important to me and a a huge accomplishment. For you too! There is so much going on in your world and maintenance is an awesome feat. Keep at it- you know giving up leads to weight gain. What worked before isn’t going to work now… but keep looking because you know you are capable of doing this.
I think that for those of us who go through this journey in our late teens early twenties… we still have some growing to do. There are other aspects of life to work on… to figure out. (like getting married and sharing a life.) and I think those are equally as important and valid topics to address in one’s life. I don’t know anyone who can do everything all at once. And those that claim that they can… I just don’t buy it.
Kudos to you for not giving up and getting back that awesome feeling just a couple short days later… :)
Thanks Sarah. It sucks to have been at this same weight for so long but it is 40+lbs down. It’s maintenance and it’s an accomplishment even if not the ultimate one. And yes, I am still growing as a person and trying to figure out living in a new place, having a relationship and getting married, my future career, etc. I sometimes forget that. ;)
Thank you!
I look in the mirror and don’t see what I see in my head. I see myself a smaller person, a healthier person, and until I look in the mirror and see that I know I won’t be truly happy with myself, and to deny myself of that is denying myself of the best life I can have.
After some years of bouncing up and down; I decided that maybe I couldn’t do this on my own anymore. I struggled and struggled and struggled, and there are times I gave up. Studying makes me give up because my mind goes “you can’t concentrate on BOTH at the same time”. It’s not true.
So finally, when I admitted I couldn’t do it myself, I’m shelling out my savings for a coach/personal trainer. If it’s not happening now, when will it? I’ve come to terms with this, and am okay with it, but in answering your question–the fact I’m spending money on it keeps me from giving up this time. Not everyone was as frugal at fifteen as I was when it came to saving part-time job wages. So I understand that this is not the answer for everyone. I just wanted to answer the question. =)
But I am so proud of you, Mary, you have this wonderful life (even with the many allergies, now) and you should be proud of yourself for not giving up.
I think that’s a great decision Elle. Having a coach/personal trainer is a great idea and not negative in any way. It’s smart to get support. If that will keep you from giving up then it’s so totally worth it.
Thank you. Yes, even with the allergies things overall are good. And soon I will visit a doctor and even get those under control! :)
Oh Mary!!
You are not alone in this! I have been at or near or up 5 from maintaining for a year…actually more than a year without any loss. No real gain but no real loss. I have been feeling much like you…why am I still here doing this?!? or questions like it.
I am glad you didnt give up. You can do this, you are doing this…maintaining 40lb weight loss (I think I am at same point) is awesome!!
much love & big hugs!!
Reading this post reminds me of how i was feeling this weekend. i have been on weight watchers for the past 3 weeks and was doing really well, this week i totally binged (once again) and ate just a little to much.. i was so frustrated with myself because i’ve been down this road before…i have been on a weight loss journey for as long as i can remember and sometimes i just wish i didn’t have to think about it or deal with it at all… i just had a baby 2 months ago and she’s my motivation for not giving up. I want to lose the weight and be healthy. i want to raise her to eat healthy and lead a healthy lifestyle. i don’t want her to obsess over weight or have body image issues..
you have come a long way and sometimes we let our failures over shadow all the successes that we have had.. as someone said to me once “focus on your future and not your failures”… glad you didn’t give up..
I shut down all of my blog, erased every morsel of content and I couldn’t be happier. I think, for me..and this is just me speaking..when I focus a lot of my energy on the things about weight/food/etc I find that I sprial. When I snap myself out of it, by doing things that bring my life..finding my passion..sleeping…drinking water…anything other then blogging/weight loss I tend to 1. feel a hell of a lot better 2. eat better 3. obessess less 4. lose more weight 5. enjoy life more.
I don’t think that you should quit blogging, I would cry..BUT I think that it’s about finding other stuff in your life that makes you happy and doing it. It’s hard to jump out of the rut sometimes of reading HLB and feeling like you haven’t ‘gotten to where you want to go.’ Coming from a girl who has ‘gotten’ to goal and then bounced back because frankly it’s not just about the weight.
I hope that makes sense. I don’t mean to being a negative nancy at all. As you know it’s f-ing hard living overseas away from everything and not knowing exactly how it’s all going to come together. I think the one thing I wish I would have done more when I first got here, and especially when I feel like just throwing the towel is..is get out and do something else.
Hugs..
Not negative at all. I totally understand what you are saying.
You’re worth more than giving up on yourself and you know that. People who give up rarely end up maintaining. I’ve gone a few weeks with no loss and I have never been closer to *wanting* to quit in 2 1/2 years than a week ago but really, what would that get me? (Or anyone on the same journey) Am I at a “comfortable” weight? Maybe. I’m at the weight I was most of my life and that’s after losing 165+ pounds which is sad. but am I considered “normal” by any standard? Nooo way! I’m healthiER but not healthY. There’s a difference and thankful, you know that too. Back to workin’ it…because you’re worth it.
Glad you are not giving up Mary! It is hard stuff losing weight. Yes, what you have yo do in terms of knowing what to do is easy but the actual putting it into motion is hard. You body & mind & life will love you for not giving up! Just get that consistency in there.. you can do this!
I only ever wanted to give up when I couldn’t face my life anymore… but hope always prevailed.
I think Michelle said it best…it’s not a matter of “giving up.” Maybe a better way of looking at it is “letting go.” I found that when all I focused on was calories and the scale, that’s how I measured my whole life. My value was contingent only on how much weight I had lost. When I shifted my focus, things changed, including my weight (for the better). It’s not giving up though…I never did that.
I honestly have never felt like giving up although I have had my share of set backs. I have been on my ‘journey’ for about 6 years now and have lost and gained and lost again. BUT I am most proud that I have stuck with the exercise and feel more fit than I have ever been even at this high weight. I gave up looking at the scale and worrying about the numbers (except for inches) and feel great even though I’m still considered obese, I’m fit and feel really good. I know I have a lot more to work on and this is a lifestyle change, it’s not something that will ever stop.
We are athletes, you completed the triathlon, I walked a half marathon. We are strong and have a lot of experience we need to share with others. You should go back and read your post https://amerrylife.com/2011/01/26/7-lessons-learned-from-my-first-triathlon/ THAT was inspirational.
You CAN do this!
When it comes to why I keep going, at least with regard to fitness, it is one thing really: Fear. Yes. I am simply afraid that one day I will not be able to do what I do anymore (due to my nerve disease) so I do all that I can today. Perhaps it is not healthy to take so much motivation from fear, but I’m working on that.
With regard to why I keep blogging, tweeting and reading other’s posts… I ask myself that question a lot. The answer, more or less, is that I do it for me. I think the writing and reflecting process makes me a better person.
When it comes to me reading your blog, I know that your posts always make me think about my motivations. Our struggles may be different, but your honesty and openness lets me relate. I enjoy reading your blog, and am happy you didn’t hit the delete key. :-)
Thanks Donna. It’s nice to hear you enjoy reading.
Mary,
I came across your blog a few weeks ago, and have been reading it daily ever since. A 40-pound sustained weight loss is an incredible achievement. You look beautiful and radiant in your photos – I know you will be a gorgeous bride. You are a wonderful inspiration. Thank you for sharing your journey through your blog. :)
Thank you so much! That’s really sweet to say.
You are so strong and logical, that’s why you won’t give up. And besides, being healthy doesn’t have an end date. Slow and steady wins the race — you’re doing it. Your way, the right way. No one can stop you or tell you differently…it’s working! :)
Oh logic! That is what keeps me going. I should have known. ;)
I keep going because I don’t want to give up on myself. I KNOW that I can do this, and I’ll be damned if this goal, this thing that I’ve wanted more than anything else in my life, is going to allude me. I’m worth it!
Years ago, I was not healthy. My meals consisted of things like mcdonalds, chips, dominos or pizza hut pizza, mac n cheese, bagels w cream cheese, and ramen noodles (usually just about one of those things a day, because I couldn’t afford tons of meals). I drank a lot, that was probably where most of my nutrition came from lol. And I thought people who went to the gym or exercised were crazy and weird. I actually told a coworker that one time when he went to hit the hotel gym on a business trip we were on. Now, all of THAT seems really strange. I don’t think of quitting anything healthy that I do, because it’s just become part of who I am. It’s second nature. I would not think of giving up and consuming a quarter pounder with cheese or two with fries and cocacola because it doesn’t cross my mind. Ew. When I think of you, I DO NOT think of someone who’s not achieving her goal. I think of someone who likes to cook and try new things to eat, someone who is always doing random exercise things and can do a triathalon. Someone who was able to meet her soulmate, recognize that he was, and pursue that, even all the way across the ocean to another country. And someone who is able to consistently write and write! Maybe you havent reached your actual goal, but you’re doing more on the road to achieving it than most people end up doing at all. Glad you decided to not give up, I’d miss reading your blogs.
You are the best. Thank you.
Or you have to give up your weight loss blog because someone you work with stumble across it and it made it awkward. I haven’t deleted mine, just hid it for now. :|
You are amazing Mary and EVERYONE, even the most positive person in the world, is allowed to have bad day where it just doesn’t seem worth it anymore. I wish we could be those people that never had to worry about their weight and could just eat whatever they wanted, or better yet, not CRAVE the bad stuff or have issues with compulsive eating or portion control. Maybe in our next lives? :)
I’m sure nearly everyone who has EVER tried to lose weight has been in the same place at one time or another. I’ve struggled with my weight for years now, and as I get older and find it harder to even maintain my current weight, I feel like I’m fighting a losing battle. 40lbs is an amazing achievement – I don’t know if I’ll ever even get close to that (I’ve lost about 20lbs and plateaued). Still, I think it’s important to stick with it. We’ll be glad when we’re older that we made the effort (I hope!).
The big question is why do you want to lose weight in the first place? No matter what people say about “accepting” their bodies the truth is usually a little darker. We’re run by egos and emotions. So that pizza gives you a charge, it’s like an addiction. It makes you feel good because it’s a relief from all the pressure you’re putting on yourself to be a weight that you are not. And what do you imagine you will feel when you reach your goal weight? Probably a good feeling, and so you’re in a classic state of addiction/repulsion, always running towards and away from your goal, which is just a projection. The emotional stuff, the “inner turmoil” needs to be addressed before you can get out of the “positive enthusiasm/giving up” cycle. My advice? Go into the hopelessness, face it head on, and it won’t own you any more.