Today is the first Saturday Guest Post! Hurray! I’m happily off enjoying my Saturday and still want to bring you some awesome new voices, starting with Caitlin from Project Revamp. Thank you for sharing your story with us Caitlin!
When was your OMG! Moment? Yes, you! When did you realize something had to change? That you were slowly killing yourself? Some realize it at a doctor’s office, some while watching TV, some on their death bed, and sadly some never realize it.
I was never extremely obese, and honestly until I was 13 I was never overweight. My highest weight has been 130 and my first OMG moment was when I hit 200 pounds. My life, while not as bad as some peoples, has not been the easiest, and I have a problem with blaming myself for overeating. I always blame my hardships, the abuse, and other people. I find it really hard to say “Hey Caitlin, you messed up, you chose food over therapy”
My mom, on the other hand, is 400 pounds, 53 years old, and still hasn’t had her moment. She is on medication for many obesity related difficulties. She has made it very clear that her 3,000 calorie meals mean more to her than her life. She knows she’s dying, she just doesn’t care. I often think about how sad that must be, not caring about the family you’re leaving behind because the food you’re shoving in your mouth is your comfort.
I never did say when my moment was. The one that made me realize I had to change for good. In October I moved in with William. We were a bit irresponsible and in November I thought I was pregnant. We hadn’t talked about what would happen if I was to get pregnant, we just didn’t think it would happen. Well, in the end I wasn’t pregnant, but for the week or so I thought I was I cared more about that “child” than anything I’ve ever cared about. Being a mother is one of my biggest goals, and when I thought I was pregnant I panicked. I knew if I had a baby I wouldn’t be able to take care of it properly because I can’t run around like I used too. And I’m sure the pregnancy could be difficult with 100 extra pounds lying around.
William and I were both ecstatic, and we were both ready to embrace parenthood, but we know it wasn’t our time to have a child. We weren’t stable, and honestly we could not have provided for the child like we would have liked too. We also both realized that my weight greatly impacts me day to day, and that pregnancy wouldn’t help that at all.
There are days when I can’t stand looking in the mirror, let alone the thought of him looking at me. And that was my OMG moment.
While some people never have a moment, some hit them harder than anything. Some people don’t realize it until it’s too late, and that is probably the saddest way. Some people realize it after they lose somebody else, and that is another horrible way. No matter when or why you have the moment it isn’t pretty, and is a very emotional time. Some people need therapy to discuss why they are overeating, some people just need friends.
No matter what your moment is I suggest that you see a doctor before starting any diet or lifestyle change. I also suggest that you look into therapy to be sure that your weight isn’t deeper than you may think.
Wow, this is a very powerful post. Thank you for sharing it with us.
My parent’s, too, suffer from obesity caused problems and illnesses. I am glad you had your “OMG Moment” and started making changes now rather than have to suffer later in life.
I can’t wait to follow you on your journey. Sounds like you and William are becoming more mature and will be great parents in the future!
:)
Julia
http://jewliagoulia.blogspot.com
So hard when we want it for someone else especially when they don’t seem to want it for themselves!
.-= Lanine Bradley´s last blog ..Kids are back Two =-.
Good post. My “moment” wasn’t quite as traumatic, but I first kicked off my diet last year when I went to the doctor for some unrelated symptoms that ended up being nothing, but she told me they were all symptoms of diabetes and I had to get tested. Diabetes doesn’t really run in my family so much and it ended up being nothing, but I come from pretty healthy stock and had never had anything really wrong with me before. So I guess that’s really when I first started attacking the problem.
.-= Lauren´s last blog ..What Right do I Have…? =-.
I wish my mom would have a similar moment. Thanks for sharing your story!
.-= Lauren @ Eater not a runner´s last blog ..beautiful morning for a run =-.
Great post! It can be frightening to have that realization that something needs to change but so empowering as well. Thank you!
Thanks for sharing your story- the unexpected is often a very good motivation to change our lifestyles!
.-= Sagan´s last blog ..The Thirty Days of Yoga Challenge =-.
Wow, hearing about your Mum was sad. My own mother was obese every single day I knew her. I never knew her slim. She passed away at the age of 55 after a lifetime of ignoring her health – a fair estimate of her weight (because she never spoke of it) might have been 130 kg / 280 lbs. She also smoked like a chimney. Not surprisingly, her heart gave out. Now, I have never smoked, but my weight pattern appears to be virtually identical to Mum’s so far.
I think for Mum it was a case of (oftentimes) being in a ‘trapped’ marriage (same marriage, just interspersed with good times) and she just fat out gave up on herself. She always put the rest of us first and never had anything left for herself, so I guess she ate.
My OMG moment is an ongoing thing. It’s continually remembering that BOTH of my parents had severe heart attacks before the age of 55 (my father’s, at 50, was not fatal, but he was also overweight and smoked – he gave up smoking as a result), Dad was officially ‘pre-diabetic’ and I suspect Mum was also, both smoked (one thing we don’t share), and that is all just the first generation above me. Couple that with *seriously common* incidences of heart disease and cancer (Mum survived cervical cancer at age 28) and honestly, if I don’t end up with some sort of major health complication it will be a miracle. But I’m sure as heck not going to sit there waiting for it anymore. It’s kinda like Braveheart (which I watched again this week – great movie). I want to be so damn confident I can lick this that I’m willing to turn around, moon the English (a lifetime of obesity) and then run headlong toward it and kick it’s butt.
Re the mum thing? The oxygen mask philosophy is SO VERY TRUE. My mother spent a lifetime giving the rest of us oxygen and failed to realise she was running out of it herself.
.-= Lizzie (Huggle Mama)´s last blog ..Not A Good Day. Not A Good Day AT ALL =-.
Wow, Caitlin. This really touched a nerve with me…. How you talk about your mom and say… “I often think about how sad that must be, not caring about the family you’re leaving behind because the food you’re shoving in your mouth is your comfort.”
My Dad is about 100lbs overweight, and is literally killing himself with the way he eats. It breaks my heart, and I’ve tried writing him 10 page letters to say how much I need him to change. It’s so sad that I just had to admit that he won’t be around as long as I want because of the way he treats his body.
Some people never have these ah-ha moments that you did, let alone at such a young age. Bravo to trying to change your life. :)
.-= Karen´s last blog ..Mini-Interview with Leo Babauta from Zen Habits =-.
Great post! Very moving…and I too can relate as my overweight mother died at age 48…and I was only 20 at the time!