Today is the first Saturday Guest Post! Hurray! I’m happily off enjoying my Saturday and still want to bring you some awesome new voices, starting with Caitlin from Project Revamp. Thank you for sharing your story with us Caitlin!
When was your OMG! Moment? Yes, you! When did you realize something had to change? That you were slowly killing yourself? Some realize it at a doctor’s office, some while watching TV, some on their death bed, and sadly some never realize it.
I was never extremely obese, and honestly until I was 13 I was never overweight. My highest weight has been 130 and my first OMG moment was when I hit 200 pounds. My life, while not as bad as some peoples, has not been the easiest, and I have a problem with blaming myself for overeating. I always blame my hardships, the abuse, and other people. I find it really hard to say “Hey Caitlin, you messed up, you chose food over therapy”
My mom, on the other hand, is 400 pounds, 53 years old, and still hasn’t had her moment. She is on medication for many obesity related difficulties. She has made it very clear that her 3,000 calorie meals mean more to her than her life. She knows she’s dying, she just doesn’t care. I often think about how sad that must be, not caring about the family you’re leaving behind because the food you’re shoving in your mouth is your comfort.
I never did say when my moment was. The one that made me realize I had to change for good. In October I moved in with William. We were a bit irresponsible and in November I thought I was pregnant. We hadn’t talked about what would happen if I was to get pregnant, we just didn’t think it would happen. Well, in the end I wasn’t pregnant, but for the week or so I thought I was I cared more about that “child” than anything I’ve ever cared about. Being a mother is one of my biggest goals, and when I thought I was pregnant I panicked. I knew if I had a baby I wouldn’t be able to take care of it properly because I can’t run around like I used too. And I’m sure the pregnancy could be difficult with 100 extra pounds lying around.
William and I were both ecstatic, and we were both ready to embrace parenthood, but we know it wasn’t our time to have a child. We weren’t stable, and honestly we could not have provided for the child like we would have liked too. We also both realized that my weight greatly impacts me day to day, and that pregnancy wouldn’t help that at all.
There are days when I can’t stand looking in the mirror, let alone the thought of him looking at me. And that was my OMG moment.
While some people never have a moment, some hit them harder than anything. Some people don’t realize it until it’s too late, and that is probably the saddest way. Some people realize it after they lose somebody else, and that is another horrible way. No matter when or why you have the moment it isn’t pretty, and is a very emotional time. Some people need therapy to discuss why they are overeating, some people just need friends.
No matter what your moment is I suggest that you see a doctor before starting any diet or lifestyle change. I also suggest that you look into therapy to be sure that your weight isn’t deeper than you may think.