Thank you all for the kind thoughts on the loss of our dog. He really was the best and we all loved him so much. Luckily I have a fluffy kitty to keep me company and remind me that life and love goes on.
This little kitty seems to think he knows how to work a computer (opens iTunes every time he sits on the keyboard) and always likes to sleep near me when I’m blogging. He is a good little blogging assistant.
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Last night I did a very bad thing to myself. I weighed myself.
I don’t know why I did it. It was stupid, really. I normally weigh myself in the mornings, before eating or drinking. That’s the number I’ve been tracking more or less all this time. But lately I’ve been hopping on the scale at other times too, including night time before bed. I think I’m getting ever more obsessed with what I weigh and it’s partly due to the wedding and the constant talk from other brides about weight loss for the wedding (at least on blogs and message boards).
So last night I decided to get on the scale and weigh myself even though I knew it was a bad idea. I had just eaten a relatively big really salty dinner and drank a ton of water. I hadn’t gotten rid of much else in my stomach for a few days either (one reason I need to return to gluten free eating). Here I am feeling bloated and heavy and generally not the best and I decide it’s a perfect time to weigh myself.
I was asking for a reason to attack myself.
And attack I did. As soon as I saw the number I freaked out then immediately started beating myself up. This rarely happens to me because I know it’s just a number on the scale. But in the moment I hated myself. I hated what I’d done. I hated the scale was so high (in my mind). I felt like I’d ruined everything and I’d always be a fat girl and would just have to get used to being a fat bride. It was hard for me to fall asleep because I just couldn’t stop the self-hating script running through my mind.
Ugh. Why did I do that to myself?
The next morning I feel better both physically and mentally. The scale dropped back down several pounds and likely will drop another couple from water weight by tomorrow. I know how it works and I know what was happening. Yet for some reason I decided to allow some part of me to freak out and attack myself over that number. I wish I hadn’t done that and had stayed rational or better yet… stayed off the scale. I’ve learned it is just a number to me and I can look at it scientifically if I weigh at the same time in the same conditions. Variations apparently freak me out and I lose the ability to look at the situation intelligently instead of irrationally.
Today I’m rational and calm and following my plan. The scale is tucked away and I’m not getting on it again for a few days. After that incident it is clear that we need to spend some time apart.
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Do you ever freak out when you see a number on the scale? How do you approach weighing yourself?
NOOOOOO!!!! I’ve made that mistake before too, and the scale has fluctuated SO MUCH from what I know is true. We’ve all done it. I’m glad you are in a better place today. I even get upset at the dr’s office when they want to weight me in the middle of the day with my clothes/shoes on, even though I KNOW that is totally wrong. Oh the scale…
I can’t even imagine the pressure of an impending wedding in terms of this stuff. My sister is getting married later this year and we JUST yesterday decided to be each other’s support system and start a more strict approach to this stuff. No matter what, though, you’ve found your soulmate and it will be a celebration of your love and commitment and a GREAT time for you and your loved ones… which is amazing!
I’ve got roughly 6 months to go. I need to be a bit more strict with myself so maybe the weigh in freak out was a good thing, just to wake me up to be strict.
Eeeeeh. And water weighs like 250g a glass! So a litre of water would be, what, 2 pounds?
I’m the sort to stick her head in the sand when I instinctively know there’s a problem, so if I stop weighing, I know that I’m in trouble. But I’ve got rules about the scale to prevent obsessing. I don’t allow myself to stand on the scale unless it’s first thing in the morning. Since I’ve imposed a “green zone” for my maintenance weight, I’ve stopped freaking about about individual weigh ins. When my trend line hits the upper limit, I’ll freak :D
My weighing in the morning only helped me not obsess too. I shouldn’t have deviated from that!
Totally understand. I really think the only way to maintain my sanity is to weigh as little as possible.
oh man, i only weigh myself at the same time of the day- morning before i eat- & for that reason i consider weighing myself at any other time flatly inaccurate. i also started weighing myself only 2-3 times a week as opposed to my standard daily weighings.
take care!
Oh the scale! I stopped weighing in a long time ago. I just loved how I felt and didn’t really want to focus on the scale. I am however going to start weighing in every week again. I have some goals I want to meet BUT I’m more interested in seeing inch loss than the number on the scale. However I would like to get to my goal weight by my 40th b-day next April 1st *wink*
Evening weighing in is the worst for me. Even if I “know” everything about water weight and having gone through my day I still freak out at the number.
Now the only time I allow myself to weigh at night if I’m doing lots of exercise so I weigh before and after in order to make sure I drink enough fluids to replenish. I’ve been severely dehydrated after hot yoga and running when I don’t.
I do sometimes freak out when I weigh myself, but, I have somewhat of a strange approach to the up-and-down numbers I sometimes see. In my mind, a weigh-in only counts first thing on Sunday mornings. I pretty much weigh myself every morning, but I only record it if it shows a loss. If it shows a gain, I ignore it. The only day I always write down my weight, whether it’s a loss or a gain, is Sunday. That way, on the other days of the week, it’s a nice bonus if there’s a loss, but I won’t have to sweat over a mid-week gain.
I know. It’s weird. But, that’s how I get through my weeks. :)
I can’t weigh myself. It controls me. It makes or breaks my week. I destroy myself and it brings on other bad behaviors. For now, no scales for me.
I can totally sympathise Mary, I got married six months ago and almost drove myself crazy with the scales. I would alternate between weighing myself every day and getting upset and mad, and then asking my fiance to hide the scales so that I couldn’t obsess over the number. In the end I actually *put on* a few kg between when I first chose my dress and the wedding (stress eating from planning the wedding!). And you know, I didn’t care a bit on the day. I still felt like the most beautiful bride in the world and I know that you will be a beautiful bride too whatever weight you’re at at the time, and you won’t care a bit either. Try not to worry about the scales, just focus on eating good food and moving your body and feeling fit and healthy so you can enjoy your big day. Lots of luck.
Thanks Emma, that’s what I’m trying to do. But of course every now and again I lose focus and get a little crazy over it. ;)
I’m glad you’re feeling better now.
I’d like to be able to weigh myself regularly, but right now I’m taking a break – I think for a couple weeks. When I eat poorly (or just plain too much), or when I simply FEEL that I’ve gained a little weight, I try to avoid the scale until I’ve gotten back to smaller portion sizes and that sort of thing. I find that I just feel so discouraged and angry and upset about the number on the scale if it’s higher than I’d like, so it’s better to take a few days or a couple weeks away from it while I focus on better eating habits. That way when I step on the scale again, it’s not as bad as I feared – sometimes it’s much better! – and it gives me more encouragement to keep at a healthy lifestyle.
Hello,
If you would allow me to enter this discussion, I believe I may have a solution for some of us.
First, let me pose a question to you: What do you believe is the primary cause of weight gain? Is it lack of exercise, stress, or overeating?
Is it lack of exercise? Yes, lack of exercise leads to weight gain. However, it’s not the primary cause of it. Is it stress? While stress can be a major contributing factor, it’s not the primary cause of weight gain either. Obviously, it’s overeating. Actually, it’s not. Overeating does produce weight gain, but it’s not the primary cause of it.
If none of these are the primary cause of being overweight, then why are we overweight?
Because what we eat has less to do with our intellect and more to do with the associations that we have to food. An association is a link in your mind between an emotion and an experience, person, place, or thing.
An example of an association is a fear of dogs. A fear of dogs is often the result of a person having been attacked or frightened severely by a dog. That event created an association in the person’s mind, linking dogs with fear. Now every time this person sees a dog, even if it’s a friendly one with a big smile on its face, he or she will experience fear.
Food is another area where we’ve created associations. Once upon a time you ate a food-a cake, a piece of chocolate, or ice cream-and you liked the way it tasted. At that moment you created an association in your mind linking this food to feeling good. And each time you ate this food, it continued to make you feel good, further strengthening the association.
The result is-you have an association to food that is extremely strong. As strong, if not more so, than the person who has a fear of dogs. If I tell that person that a dog approaching is friendly, it won’t matter, because associations generally override intellect, and that person will still be afraid of the dog. If I tell you that a food is bad for you, it also won’t matter, because your associations will override your intellect, and you will eat that food anyway.
That’s why it’s so hard for you to give up certain foods. Your intellect is telling you that a food is bad for you, but your emotions, which are actually your associations, are telling you that this food will make you feel good.
How can you give up something that makes you feel good? See the conflict?
Hedley Turk
Author
“Why Intelligent People Are Overweight”
Thing is, most of the time I feel much thinner than what I actually am. When I get on the scale, I FEEL that weight. It just doesn’t make sense to me!
Sorry about your dog. It really is tough to lose a beloved pet. Thank goodness for Senor Kitty.
So, a bride story.
When I got married, my mom and I went to this little bridal boutique that lots of her country club ladyfriends had used for their daughters weddings. I found my beautiful dress design, and got measured from head to toe because it was being custom made. We were expecting it to fit like a glove.
Several months later when the dress arrived, we were so excited to go try it on. We expected to carry it out with us that evening. But I slid it on and it didn’t fit. By kind of a lot. Which was crazy because the dress was made with my measurements! I hadn’t gained any weight!
And the seamstress and the boutique lady said “Well, all brides lose weight for their wedding day. Aren’t you planning to also?”
I was livid. And I said No. And they pretty much had to remake the dress.
So, anyway, just be you. (and stay off the scale at night)
OMG! They made your dress smaller with the expectation that you would lose weight for the wedding? I would have punched her. That’s bullshit. It is just an accepted fact that all brides are trying to lose weight, even when they shouldn’t be. Being okay with your body for the wedding is a rare thing. I wish that was me, honestly.
yep. i do that to myself a lot.
it’s not too helpful. you are going to be a gorgeous bride no matter what that silly old scale says.
and you know it!
Hi, I recently found your blog and have been reading it for a couple weeks now. I just needed to comment on this post because it really hit home for me. I do this constantly. I’ve lost over 50 lbs in the last 2 years, I am now at about 143 lbs (5’4″) give or take. I weighed myself about a week ago after a weekend of partying (it was my mother’s birthday) and eating and drinking and I was feeling so heavy and discusting. Why I did this to myself, I will never know but I’m never going to do it again (I’ll try anyway!). I weighed in at 148 and I know thats not a big number but my low self-esteem kicked in and I attacked myself for days about how I let this happen to myself. I realize now that I was being completely irrational because it all came off after a couple days of drinking lots of water, running, and eating healthy. I just need to take care of myself and realize that I’m not always going to be perfect, sometimes I’ll take a step in the wrong direction and as long as I get back on the right track I’ll be fine. Enough with the self-hating ladies! Love yourself, you are truely beautiful just the way you are!
Sam :)
Mary, I NEVER weigh myself at night except for my knowledge sake to understand that I am always at least 2-3 pounds heavier at night & most times 3 pounds due to the food & water all day long. I weigh myself first thing in the morn before I eat or drink anything & in the same type of clothes… so I get good readings from day to day. And yes, I can let the number get to me BUT I try on clothes & they tell me a lot too! :-) I also have to understand my bod & when I was having the monthly & such, well, certain times, I was going to be heavier no matter what…
Getting on to the scales is always a scary proposition. I just hate the yo-yo. So learn to be happy being yourself. Being healthy is what is important. If you like, get the book MindBodyFX Lifestyle and see how it changes your perception of things.
I think that everyone has a love-hate relationship with the scale. It so easily makes or breaks our self-worth for the day, for the week… sigh. But I can’t NOT weigh myself. As much as I obsess over what the scale says from week-to-week (when I’m good about weighing myself weekly) or day-to-day (when I’m bad and weigh myself off-schedule “just to see”), it’s NOT weighing myself for a long time that made me gain weight. I have to have some kind of tangible way of seeing whether I’m heading in the right direction or not. Maybe when I’m at a healthy weight, I’ll be able to stop relying on the scale but while I’ve still got a lot of weight to lose I need it to stay on track.
I’m in a maintaining mode and for me, the fit of my clothes is the tangible sign. When I start to feel my clothes getting uncomfortable/tight, I know I’ve been off track just a weee bit too much.
I haven’t weighed myself in over a year–not even when I go to the doctor’s office. I think it has too much of a control over how I feel about myself, so I just gave it up. I know that if I did get back on the scale, I would be pissed off, and who wants to be pissed off? I am healthy and happy, I work out 6 days a week, eat clean 90% of the time and do NOT need a number to tell me my worth.
I have only weighed myself once since I started losing from my highest weight of 240 about 10 years ago. It never made sense to me as a motivator. Tracking inches worked much better for me when I was actively working to lose weight, though even that didn’t last more than a few months. That being said, there were years throughout the 10 where I stagnated a certain weight, perfectly content for a while, before making additional changes, rather than trying to maintain a continuous progression down.
HOO_boy.. I hate that scale! We’ve been trying to get healthy for a week- and I haven’t weighed ANYONE yet. I think the biggest part is is that I do not want to know what my number is.
Hi Mary, your kitten looks so cute :)
I stopped weighing my self a really long time ago. Not that I have much weight to loose, but I remember every time I use to step on scale I always became depressed. Now as long as I fit into my jeans and feel great, that’s all I need. Plus, the scale is not correct, because if you have been working out, you gained muscle and muscle is heavy. Since I always work out I weigh way more than people think I do.
(Im here for the comments. reading…)