Slow relaxing day here in Gatlinburg. We walked along the same trail as yesterday and then did some shopping. Today hasn’t been very exciting as far as cool views or new things, but I’ve been thinking a lot about how cool it is to be living this crazy awesome life I’ve created for myself.
And then when I checked back into see the comments on yesterday’s blog post I saw this one from Jody who writes at Fit And Health At Any Age:
What cool pics!!! Looks like a fantastic time!!! OH NO on the ankle though! I hope it is getting better for your very exciting trip to New Zealand!!! You are living life Mary & I am so happy for you! People can learn from this!
Keep on enjoying!
PS: I want to say that I really admire you for doing all this stuff. Not being mean, cause in an email it sounds that way BUT many people that are at your weight refuse to do anything or to live life until they lose all or most of the weight. You are a perfect example of why NOT to do that Mary!
That comment really, really hit me. I’m glad Jody mentioned this. I’m not at my goal weight. Not even close really. I’m still technically morbidly obese when you look at my stats (but only by .1 % so I’m almost to the “severe obesity” category). Seriously. I’m still fat. I’ve lost over 30 pounds and I’m still big. I still wear plus size clothes and worry about things like fitting through spaces in crowded restaurants. I’m not at my goal weight or even close to it.
But I don’t let the weight stop me from doing anything.
I might be obese but I can still run half a mile. I might be obese but I can kill it in a kickboxing class and dance like everyone else in a zumba class. I might be obese but I still go on adventures and travel as much as I can afford. I might be obese but I love going snowboarding. I might be obese but I don’t let it stop my from doing anything I want to do.
I might be obese still but I’m not always going to be. One day I won’t be obese any longer, and on that day when I look back at this time where I was bigger I don’t want it to be a black void where I never allowed myself to have fun or do anything because of my weight.
A while ago I realized that if I let my weight hold me back from doing things then I would never do anything cool. I would just waste years of my life wishing I did all the things thinner people got to do. The only reason I got to this point in thinking is because I did waste years not doing things. My high school experience was full of missed opportunities and experiences. I didn’t go to parties or dances or other social events in high school. I stopped playing sports for the most part and skipped out on every active event I could miss. I let my weight, which hovered around 250-260 during high school, control my life in a negative way. And after those four years I finally started losing weight and really living – even before I got to my goal weight.
I read a lot of weight loss blogs and know a lot of people that feel like they can’t do certain things until they hit a number on the scale. It’s a lie they tell themselves. Weight doesn’t have to have as much control on your life as most of us let it. You can make the decision to try new things and go new places and experience new things no matter how much you weigh.
Weight won’t be holding me back anymore. I hope it doesn’t hold you back either. If there is something you’ve been planning to do “after you lose the weight” consider doing it now. Consider trying it before you reach that perfect goal. You might surprise yourself and find out you can do it now and enjoy it!
But don’t get me wrong. I might do everything I want now, but I still want to lose weight. I don’t want to be obese with all the health complications that carries. While I’m not necessarily losing weight to “look hot” or “fit in a bikini” I do still need to lose weight for health reasons. And I am going to do it. I’m still obese but I’m not stopping. I’m not stopping because I’ve got more weight to lose and more things to do and places to go.
Thinking about places to go and going to New Zealand makes me think about the future and my plans for the rest of this year. I’ve got big plans for fitness and fun and life this year. But when I start thinking about that I also start thinking about all the new bloggers and people trying to get healthy out there. How many will be around in a month? In six months? People seem to come and go in this little community so fast I almost can’t keep track. I interact, read, get attached to someone and then one day they just disappear. I don’t know what is going on in their lives anymore after feeling like they were a friend and we were in this together. It’s a strange feeling to see someone just disappear off your radar like that when you thought you were doing something important together. It’s okay to see struggles and failures and all, but just disappearing? It’s not cool. But it happens. People give up and fade away, letting their goals go back to just being long lost dreams.
So I guess I’m wondering, are we in this together or not? Are we getting healthy this year, finally? I know I am. I’m hitting my goal this year. This is MY FREAKING YEAR. So are you going to do it too? I know I want you to do the same and reach all your goals. I know you need and want to do it. I know I want to do it with all of you. Are you with me or not? Are we going to do this together or are we going to give up and go our separate ways away from our goals?
Don’t let weight stop you from living or from reaching your health goals.
Shannon Fab Fattie says
Mary I hope that so many overweight people read this post! I cannot even begin to tell you what I have missed due to ME thinking I am to fat. Really what I have noticed is that no one else really gives a shiz about me and how I look. Point being we are the only ones stopping ourselves. So we all need to follow your fabulous example.
I am with you my friend I am not going anywhere and yes 2010 is gonna ROCK!!!!
I love Jody’s comment, and I love this post!!! And I love that you are living life and going to New Zealand (I was supposed to go about seven years ago, but then life threw some major stuff at me, and I never went…).
At one point, I was at least 50 pounds heavier than I’m now (I didn’t weigh myself until I had lost quite a bit of weight, so I truly don’t know how much I weighed at my heaviest), and I did let weight interfere with living my life. And I shouldn’t have. There is no reason to give weight that much power…
This is your year! And all of our year. There is no reason to not live life to the fullest at every moment!
Take lots of pictures in New Zealand and post some so that I can live a bit through you… But I’m also going to make sure to live my life to the fullest where I’m at at the moment… :)
Have a great trip, Mary! :)
I got healthy 2 years ago and I’ve stayed there. Sure, I’ve gained a little back and lost a little fitness but my mindset is healthy. I cook healthy meals, I strive to be healthy all the time and for me, that was a huge mindset change. As long as my mind is focused on healthy, I am healthy and can always be healthy.
May this be another awesome year.
.-= Gemfit´s last blog ..Cooking up a storm =-.
I disagree. There are plenty of people who genuinely cannot do the things they would like to because of their size, either due to physical or mental constraints (I am one of them).
Why is it so bad for me pick a number, a goal weight, at which stage I’ll be prepared and able to do something that I can’t/won’t now? This is one of my primary motivators and is probably the same for many people. Wanting to lose weight isn’t an arbitrary desire, it’s fuelled by wanting something that you can’t get at your current weight.
.-= Harry´s last blog ..The First 62lb =-.
Harry, I agree that some people cannot do things because of their weight. For those people they can’t jump in and do everything they want right away. So for them, yeah, they need to focus on doing the boring, hard stuff that will work to get the weight off. But I’m talking to the other people. The people who weigh more than they want but are NOT PHYSICALLY DISABLED. They are just mentally blocked. I don’t think a mental block over weighing too much is something that should stop you from doing EVERYTHING. I know a few people who let the weight stop them from doing everything and then years later they regret it. The stories of regret and wasted time are horrible. That’s who I’m talking to and what I’m talking about.
If you want to wait to do things and need to lose the weight first – that is totally cool. We are all different. We each have to do things our own way.
Hmn, no one has ever called my physically disabled before – I certainly don’t consider myself to be. Is one physically disabled if they can’t run a marathon tomorrow, and instead schedule it as a goal for next year when they are lighter and fitter? What about the person who doesn’t enjoy clubbing at the moment because a little boogie makes them sweat like they did a workout?
My point is there are many reasons why someone who is big might not want to do something until they have lost some weight. I think it’s a healthy, good thing to set those conditional goals. My panties are in a twist because it read like you were hating on those people, like “you suck if you let your weight stop you from doing things”.
.-= Harry´s last blog ..The First 62lb =-.
Wow, I never thought anyone would possibly read it that way. I definitely did not say that and kind of hate that you put quote around that like I did. I also didn’t call you physically disabled. Keep your panties from twisting so much Harry!
My point is that often times you can do some things but hold back because of weight. This obviously doesn’t apply to everything…. if you can’t physically run a marathon then you shouldn’t go sign up and try to do one. That is clearly something you should save as a goal to work towards. But can you go out to the park and try to walk and run a little bit? Sure! Do some people refuse to do this because they think they are too heavy or people will look at them funny? YES. And that is who I was talking to.
Please stop acting like I’m hating on anyone. I’m not. I’m hoping people live a better life and do more things and are happier with their life by trying things now instead of holding back because of perceived fear of their size. If conditional goals are what motivate people – I can do this is I weight this much kind of thing – then go for it! Really. Whatever will make your life better is what I want you to do. For a lot of people those conditional goals just stop them from ever living because they never meet the goals they set for the scale. It’s a shame if nothing ever gets done because you don’t ever reach a certain weight. That’s my thoughts on it, and that’s definitely not hating on you if you like to use those methods. I just hope people know that it’s not the only way to do the things that they want to do. I’m trying to show people that sometimes they CAN do things NOW and not wait. :)
I love this post! You are so right about all of this. Even though I’m closer to 300lbs than I am to 200lbs (which would still be WAY overweight for my height), I am more active now that I have ever been. Which is why we (you, me, and the hundreds (thousands?) of people who read this post are going to do great things for ourselves in 2010. WhooHoo!
.-= Bella´s last blog ..WordPress.com: Now on HootSuite =-.
After reading your post I wanted to jump out of my chair and yell “We can all do this!!!”
I love your attitude and your passion! I have always said that I will not live by fear and uncertainty, I do things all of the time that scare the crap out of me just to ensure that I am on my toes. Good for you for not giving in to the fear and anxieties that we all feel!
.-= campinggirl´s last blog ..Organization of Mind and Space =-.
Awesome post!! I’m not giving up either and I plan to be here in a year, I am in this with you, I love your blog and your trip sounds fantastic. Have a blast in NZ it’s gorgeous.
Ryan Sullivan says
I’ve always been of the mindset that being fat is never a reason to sulk or walk around looking pissed off. Our bodies may not be exactly like they want them to be, but we are still alive and kicking; we should act like it! The truth is that when we isolate ourselves or avoid certain activities, we are being selfish. We hide away all that we have to offer and everyone else misses out on our awesomeness. We need to live today!
The Merry says
There are some yoga poses I can’t do right now, because of my weight. Doesn’t stop me from doing yoga altogether — I merely do other poses. And I’m getting more flexible with each passing week :)
I’m used to being one of the few overweight people I see at 5k run/walks, or bicycle rides, or hiking. But if I can do it, you probably can too. Join in — it’s fun!
.-= The Merry´s last blog ..Australian Chutzpah =-.
Anonymous Fat Girl says
Yep I’m in girl! :) I won’t be one of those bloggers that disappears into the black hole of oblivion. Gawd I hate that word “obese”. Almost as much as I hate “fat girl”. Well I kind of owned up to the “fat girl” title but maybe I should have made my blog the Anonymous Obese Fat Girl? I don’t know. But what I do know is I’ll be so glad when I get out of the “obese” category. It sucks.
.-= Anonymous Fat Girl´s last blog ..An open letter to YOU from my personal trainer =-.
Ah, I freaking hate the word obese too. I can’t wait til I get rid of that label.
This just about brought tears to my eyes. I’ve wasted some of the best years of my life (so far) because I felt too fat to participate. Even if I didn’t explicitly say ‘I’m too fat, I can’t do it,” that was truly the underlying cause. I sat against the wall at school dances, I missed out on ski trips and beach trips, all because I felt too fat. I told myself that either A) my weight would physically render me inable to do certain things, or B) fat people shouldn’t be able to do those things and have fun (not in that phrasing exactly, because that’s really messed up, but in a roundabout way that’s pretty much what it boils down to). This year I’m trying to get out of my comfort zone a bit and trying to prevent my weight from getting in MY way. In a couple of weeks, I’m finally going on that ski trip I always passed on. I’m scared out of my mind, but I don’t want to miss out anymore! You’re really an inspiration (I roll my eyes when people say stuff like that, but it’s true!) because of all that you do and try and are experiencing, and because you’ve found love being just who you are. Aaaack the tears are coming on again…I’ll wrap this up. I agree with you. I don’t want to be the sad fat kid sitting on the side lines anymore. I want to be the happy whatever-size kid in the middle of everything having fun! And I’m so happy for you! :D
.-= Kat´s last blog ..Roger Ebert’s “Nil by Mouth” =-.
Sitting on the sidelines sucks. It just does. I really hope you do get up and participate in things!
And I don’t know about skiing, since I’m a boarder, but I know you can do it. I learned how to snowboard at 200 + pounds, and I’m glad I didn’t skip out on another trip just because I felt bad about my weight. Have fun on your trip! :)
Amen Mary! I have not allowed my weight to stop me from doing what I want to right now. Last year at our highest weight my husband and I took the plunge and moved across country. We are both down over 10% of our weight in the past 12 weeks. Our motivation is that we have started our wedded lives together this past year so we are going to get healthy together too.
Right now we are trying to figure out what our next big step is – do we try to buy a house or condo here in SoCal or go to Texas where we can get more house for our money. OR do we sell up everything and move to Australia (this is what my mom thinks we should do as the job situation out there is really good and she lives out there now). There are a few more ideas that we considering as well, but my point (I do have one) is that while we are both still obese we are not letting our weight stop ourselves from moving forward and just trying to do something new. Heck I am even doing 6 mins of stairs at least once a week – trying to get up to 10mins by the end of January.
It doesn’t matter your size just go and TRY something. It doesn’t matter what it is just go forth and conquer what you want to conquer, try what you want to try, and do it. It never hurts to try, but it does hurt when you let your weight and fear stop you from doing something.
ps – Mary you are doing awesome things so don’t stop! Enjoy the rest of your vacation and I know that you are going to enjoy New Zealand!
Julie - Big Girl Bombshell says
Just what I needed to read once again. My goal for 2010 is I LIVE. That’s it but that is huge. I decided last year that I was missing out on so many things because of me. I was the only one telling me NO. That is why I got back into blogging. (I left back in 2006 – a creativity blog when I gave up some other big dreams) I am participating with others and getting the tool I need the most — SUPPORT.
I actually joined WW in September just for support and to get out from behind the computer. Figured it was one action towards moving! AND I am sorry but you have to share because this is MY YEAR too!
.-= Julie – Big Girl Bombshell´s last blog ..Wii Wii Wii All the Way Home =-.
Julie Lost and Found says
Awesome post! You are amazing. Your attitude and outlook is contagious. Thank you so much for reminding us to live and live now..to the fullest!
.-= Julie Lost and Found´s last blog ..What the heck?? Some lessons learned this weekend =-.
Oh man I relate to EVERYTHING you said from living life now and not when you reach a certain weight to being not cool with people you get attached to just dropping off. You feel a certain investment in people when you share a journey like this and whether a blogging community or a social networking community for weight loss it really stinks when people just disappear when you’ve developed a bond. (Or at least you felt you did) So you just keep doing what you’re doing…living that great thing called life and inspiring others to get off their rumps and do something no matter what size! You ROCK!
Liz @ life in liz's shoes says
What I enjoy most about your blog Mary, is that you are so positive and encouraging. Seriously, you are a great role model! Keep it up :)
My hubs and I are really focusing on goals of getting our health under control this year, sw count me in too!
.-= Liz @ life in liz’s shoes´s last blog ..doing my best =-.
Ummm, excuse me! You have to share 2010 with me cuz it’s MY year too! ;)
By this time next year, I’ll be in ONEderland and only overweight, according to BMI categories.
Good work, lady! Isn’t it wonderful to be healthy and in control? I finally convinced my size 4/6 colleague to go to spin class with me and she’s soooo nervous about it. A few years ago, I NEVER would have had the confidence to work out with someone skinnier than me.
Very well said! I’ve printed this and made copies. One’s next to my kayak, so I might actually use it this season. One’s tuckied into my hicking boots, So maybe I’ll get back tot he peak of Dorset Mt this year. And one is taped to my snowboard, so I’ll get back on it while there is still snow.
Thanks for your inspirations!
Every post you make truly insprires me! Thanks so much for taking the time to write every day.
WOW! What a comment. Jody has great wisdom when it comes to putting the weight aside and living life. I think this is a post that many dieters need to read. Life is too short to be waiting around. You are an inspiration to us all! Thanks for sharing this
Mary, I am in the same place and feeling the same way. I keep fitness and activity separate from food, diet, and body image. This is life, here and now. No rehearsal. Enjoy every moment. Plan something you really enjoy doing each day. Even if it is only for 15 minutes. I keep reminding myself. I am not just body. I cannot define myself, anymore, as the fat girl. No more excuses.
I’m definitely in this for the long haul. Even once I reach my goal weight, I’m not going anywhere. There are a lot of things about blogging I wasn’t aware of before I started… especially the fact that there is a real community that cares and supports you when you’re willing to care and support them.
I’m really proud of and happy for you for living a normal life despite being overweight. You’re right, and we do let weight count for far too much in our lives. Even at unhealthy weights, most of us are able to do the same things as people who are in their healthy weight range. We may not be able to do them in the same way, but we can still do them.
You’re one of my favorite bloggers because of the honesty between you and your readers. Some bloggers would’ve really taken offense to Jodi’s comment, but you saw it for what it was and responded in an honest and intelligent way that your readers can relate to.
As for Harry’s comment about being unable to run a marathon… sure, someone morbidly obese wouldn’t be able to run a marathon tomorrow, but neither could I and I’m only about 8-10 pounds overweight. ALL of us set smaller goals to get to larger ones — or should — and I have no doubt that someone who is morbidly obese today (with or without physical limitations/disabilities/whatever) could get to a point where they could run a marathon. Maybe not tomorrow, but eventually.
.-= Rachel´s last blog ..return to yesterday =-.
Jody - Fit at 52 says
Mary, I am so glad that you wrote this post & helped so many people! You really set such an amazing example for all sizes of people!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Me included & I have told you that in many posts about how your get up & go attitude inspires me. Like you, I let my weight stop me from many things when I was younger & in high school. Even as I got older, what I saw in the mirror vs. what was really me held me back. I still admit to some of that now.
I am in maintenance/challenge mode obviously but this stage in a woman’s life creates a whole other set of challenges with the body, including the weight wanting to stay on no matter what one does.. friggin hormones! :-)
I am with you Mary and if for some reason, I need to stop blogging or put it on hold, I will write a post on why I am “taking a leave of absence” so I do not just disappear!
Thank you again for this wonderful post! OH, for those that may be confused, my blog name is Truth2BeingFit but I like Mary’s name better! Maybe I need to change the name since I preach that fit & healthy at any age all the time! :-)
PS: As for Harry, I did not take your post the way he did….. we can all take some baby steps.. they don’t have to be what you do but we can try smaller goals… ones that are right for us & within our physical constraints.
.-= Jody – Fit at 52´s last blog ..Healthcare Reform – Yes, We Need It! =-.
I have never let my weight hold me back in doing things I want to do. I lost my Dad to cancer when I was 32. Before that I lived a good life but after that day I decided to live every day with fun and enjoy everyday. Sure that doesn’t work everyday, everybody’s got a bad day now and then but most days I do.
And as for your question: I’m with you. I’ve made the beginning in reaching my goal in 2009 and I will finish and reach it in 2010!
.-= Fran´s last blog ..A day in my life: Sunday January 10th 2010 =-.
Wow Mary, I can completely relate. I’ve let my weight get in the way of me going out and meeting new people, as well as trying new things. Even though I’ve lost a good chunk of it, my perception of myself is still that of a fat dude who really has no chance out there in the real world. I get that I need to have more self-esteem, but it’s really difficult when who you were before does have an impact on who you are today.
.-= Tony´s last blog ..The John Story =-.
wow. this just hit me.
i used to do that. not live life. not any more!
ive only lost 20 pounds but there’s no more hiding in the fat closet for me!
This is so true! I’ve never let my weight slow me down and don’t ever intend to. I’m on my way to a healthier person but in the between stages I still enjoy life. Thanks for this post! Great post!
.-= Melissa´s last blog ..Friday’s Weigh In =-.
Skyler Meine says
If you are going to go for it you need to go all the way. I completely agree that you can do anything you put your mind to. You should at least try and most likely try again if it doesn’t work out the first time. Keep up the awesome work. This is my first post on this blog and I hope to become more familiar with your weight loss journey.
I hear you on what you are saying here… I have not done so many things in the past ten years due to my weight and sheer lack of confidence. Thanks for the reminder! I love your blog!
.-= BigGirlSlim´s last blog ..Down Some =-.
Marsha @ Green Mountain at Fox Run says
You keep amazing me with your wisdom, Mary.
.-= Marsha @ Green Mountain at Fox Run´s last blog ..The Eight Irresistible Principles of Fun =-.
Girl, I’m in it for the long haul! We are going to make 2010 one of the best years of our lives- TOGETHER!
.-= Tiffany´s last blog ..Day #11: Feeling Motivated… =-.
Thank you for this inspiring post. I admit that I’ve avoided things many times because I felt too big. I don’t want to let life pass me by anymore. And to prove it I’ve signed up for a 5k in February. I know I won’t be able to run the whole time, but I will finish it. And then I’ll just do even better my next 5k, when I’ve lost more weight.
As for people disappearing, I haven’t had my weight loss blog long enough to see that, but I’ve had my other blog for about two years and I hate when I connect with people and even email and feel like I’ve made a friend, and suddenly they are gone. It’s discouraging. My blog is going to help me be accountable and I plan to stick with it, good days and bad.
This is my year too! I’m doing this.
.-= jenn´s last blog ..Bad Blogger! =-.
I’m so glad that you don’t let not being at your goal weight (yet!) stop you from enjoying life and exercising and thinking positive things. There are way too many people that think they have to put their lives on hold (or continuing to keep not living) until they lose weight. But there is no reason not to live now.
I’m with you!
I am so happy you do not let your weight get in the way of doing things. I really do not like when people say “Oh I can’t do this I am too big” when in fact they are smaller than me..or even bigger than me.
I have never let my weight stop me from doing anything. I remember one of my friends said to me right before I was about to go on vacation, “I can’t believe you are excited about swimming and the beach, I refuse to even put on a bathing suti this year”. I really felt bad for her because #1 she’s about a size 6 and super cute and #2 she was punishing herself for no reason at all. I told her I love the ocean and I could care less who is looking at my fat booty as I run to jump in the ocean and enjoy myself.
You cannot let your weight define you as a person.
Yep, I’m one of those people who let my weight stop me from doing too many things to count. I have this list…of things I want to do before I die. It was almost as if I couldn’t accomplish even one thing on that list UNTIL I lost the weight. Like that HAD to be number one priority and THEN I could start doing the rest. What kind of effed up shiz is that??? That’s why I put things like “learn a martial art” this year for my new years goal. Even though I am still 100 lbs overweight *I* am going to learn karate! I would have never, never, never thought to do that in years prior. My whole mindset has changed since I started this journey!
.-= josie´s last blog ..A Thank You and Progress Pictures =-.
This is my year, too! And you’re SO right about not putting life off until you’ve lost the weight. I’m going to study in Europe this year (provided I can raise the $$$), and I’d love to me slim and healthy – healthier than I am now – for that trip. I’ll be following your blog – you are so inspiring!
.-= Steffi´s last blog ..Ouch! =-.
Never stop. You CAN do it. Persistence pays.
.-= David´s last blog ..Always thinking about the morning – a lesson in consistency =-.
At ur serVice To Create a dIFFERENCE…
Let Me Knw Whn U need My Help……………..
[ Loose Ur WeighT Not UR Mind ]