Honestly I’ve been trying to ignore it and rationalize it away, but the fact remains. There are loans out there from my education and I need to pay them.
Does this sound pretty confusing? Yeah, well officially these student loans aren’t in my name. They were supposed to be paid by someone else and I was promised my education would be paid for. Unfortunately I was lied to and the family drama behind the situation is something only my therapist really needs to know about.
If you’ve ever listed to the Dave Ramsey show, I would be one of those callers where he tells them they legally and morally don’t have to pay the loans. That’s true in my case. These don’t affect my credit, and the deal originally was that I wouldn’t have to pay them. The loans are not in my name and I thought they were going to be paid by someone else. It’s a long story and I’m not sure sharing it would help anyone.
Well, budgeting friends, I feel like it’s my problem now. There are a few loans which I thought were getting paid but instead were being defferred over and over until the loan company ended that option. They wanted a $420 payment this month which is how this came to my attention and why it’s now getting wrapped into our financial situation.
So needless to say, I’m going to try to let the past be the past and move forward. I’ve ignored these for about 10 years but in that time they’ve grown a ton and the interest is insane.
These loans are my responsibility even if they aren’t in my name. I’ve taken responsibility for a lot of things in my life recently and therapy has empowered me stop being a victim so often. While I could easily play the victim card here or the “not my problem” card, I’m just going to take this under my control and deal with it.
Debt Snowball Total
So here’s how it shakes out. Welcome to our new debt snowball.
Loan 1: $1,043.99
Loan 2: $5,400.05
Loan 3: $5,792.96
Loan 4: $31,129.13
Total debt: $43,366.13
The final number makes me want to be sick. It feels like loans for education that really wasn’t worth it at all since I’ve changed my career field. Kids, go to school without loans. Don’t be dumb like me.
I feel like every month that passes our financial situation feels more stressful but I know hiding my head in the sand doesn’t help. That’s how these loans grew to this level from where they started. They weren’t this level before but looking at the statements now I can see where interest and fees have grown them to an insanely high amount.
I feel like have to take responsibility and figure out a way to handle the situation like an adult because the family member that this will otherwise affect does not deserve the hardship after trying to hard to do the right thing.
Plan Of Attack
As I told my husband today via text: Debt is the worst.
I don’t quite know how to deal with these things that I need to pay for and don’t know how to make it work and still have a life. When I paid off debt before I simply worked a ton and threw extra money toward the debt. Now my life is so different and I don’t want to spend my entire life away from my baby. I’m torn by this difference and not quite sure my plan of attack.
I know for sure I want to eliminate the smaller debts quickly. I think at least the first two will be paid with our emergency savings so they stop accumulating interest.
Then I may end up putting the bigger one on the back burner for a while and just make the minimum monthly payments and throw any extra side income at it. I don’t feel like our lifestyle is currently extravagant and I don’t want to sacrifice a ton to pay off the debt quickly. My plan for the last two larger loans is to just make more money!
In the past making money money definitely meant leaving the house to work more hours at my main job or at a side job. Now I’m going to focus on continuing to grow my online income so I can throw whatever extra amount each month into the payoff plan. That is money we generally don’t count on for our day to day living and budgeting, so I won’t miss it as much while making debt payments.
So that’s where I’m at today. I’m a bit defeated by the whole situation, which is not the first time I’ve felt like the rug was ripped out from under me regarding my education. But I’ve also made plenty of mistakes by ignoring the reality of the situation so today I’m just stopping that and moving on.
My plan is pretty simple:
Make more money.
Pay off the debt.