I came across a post on a weight loss blog last night that had an entry that really spoke to me. It was about food and thought the blogger was reluctant to share it he did so because it is important to share the ups and downs of the journey. (There are a few choice words in it even though I edited out a lot of the profanity… if you want to read the whole thing the check out the post.) I don’t have anything to add besides the emphasis to certain lines because these words, written by someone else, sum up a lot about the negative aspect of my relationship with food.
(Note: I hestitated to post this myself, because it feels like their are two posts in a row with a more negative twist and that is not my thing. But it is important to acknowledge the fact that every moment of life is not happy and full of sunshine. And sometimes things, like overeating and food addiction, bring us down. It is our job to get rid of as many of this things we can so we can live healthily and happily. And as for this blog? We shall return to the happy sunshine tomorrow. )
Food, you never sleep – you’re tireless.
You needle me through night or day, or both.
Food you drain my energy.
The want for you clouds my need to act.
Desires to move and change crumble in your hands.
You’re a marrow sucking bastard, gnaw away at all my strength.
You’re a junkie’s junk, food.
You trap me in a prison constructed from you my greatest vice.
Food, you are comfort in infancy, childhood.
A reward for success.
A gathering centerpiece, a foundation for fellowship.
A life enriching thing, lauded for millennia in books and stories.
You’re an art form at best, a travesty at worst.
A guilty pleasure.
Food you lousy lover, you don’t fulfill despite your bluster and bravado.
Your sweet nothings whispered are just that.
When it’s over I’m left with no comfort, no thrill, no hope, no calm, no peace.