I really dislike the word treats (and splurge) in regards to food.
A lot of people seem to like using the word treats because it makes them feel like they are doing something nice for themselves when they eat something like a sweet food or heavy meal. I think it makes the occasion feel more special and therefore allowable. But I don’t think we should be using the concept of treats when we are talking about the food we eat.
The problem with continuing to use the “treats” with food is that it is what got many of us into the overweight/obese situations we found ourselves in. As a child, how many of us were given “treats” when we did something good? Most of us first learned the concept as children – when you do something good you get a food reward! When you do something good you get candy! From the beginning most of us were not taught that food is fuel for your body. Even if we were verbally told this the message was compromised by the food rewards received for special occasions and good actions.
It makes me somewhat upset when I hear someone say they are going to treat themselves to ice cream after a long or stressful day. Why not “treat” yourself to something better? How about a nice relaxing bubble bath? Or some time with a good book and no distractions? Or any other kind of rewarding behavior other than food? When you use treats to satisfy another need you are missing out on a chance to really nurture yourself and instead misuse food.
And then there are those of us who use the word “treat” to explain something like a cookie that isn’t something we eat everyday. It’s a concept that is destined to come with the ideas of restriction and deprivation – the very concepts that lead to failure with most diets. I eat sweets every weekend but I don’t consider them treats. What exactly would I be treating myself for? A job well done on eating well all week? Isn’t that good food treat enough? The process of using food “treats” is one that can multiply and grow until it’s a bigger problem – once you start thinking of treats being acceptable they become commonplace. Instead of just having a “treat” once a week for something you’ve done well you can easily end up having “treats” all the time because you “deserve” them. I think there might be something else we deserve more than food.
For me personally, I became obese because I used food both to “treat” myself and cope with things as well as to abuse myself. I have the strangest past with food – it was both a comforter and a tormentor. So for me as an emotional eater the best solution was to learn how to take any kind of emotional/moral connection away from food (obviously I’m better but not yet perfect at this). I don’t use the concept of “treats” and I don’t consider certain foods good and other bad. I eat all kinds of food (some in limited portions, yes). I eat now mostly to fuel my body and keep it healthy as it can be. I don’t label foods good or bad – they are just foods after all. Any food can be bad or good depending on how you use it and how much you eat of it. Because I don’t think of one kind of food being better than another there is no “treating myself” to something I’m “not allowed” to have. Since I don’t feel restricted or deprived I don’t NEED the concept of treats to help me include things I want to eat but feel like I can’t.
This is all semantics really. Some of you will agree with me. Some of you will disagree. Some of you will probably wonder why I’m rambling on about such things. We all have certain words and methods we like and none are more right than the other. I just venture to question the idea that “treating” yourself with food is a good thing, because I think that the ideas of “treats” and “splurges” are more harmful than helpful.
Treat yourself well, please, but don’t treat yourself with food.
Here, Here, Mary. I couldn’t agree more. A treat isn’t something we end up feeling guilty about and ultimately is hurting us. Treating ourselves should be some form of self care, a long hot bath, a massage or a getaway weekend with the person we love. Eating food that doesn’t honor our health isn’t a treat at all.
Well, I do think we all find our own way & this is one case where for me, I don’t agree. I use the word “treat” for myself when I go out & have my special cookie or cookies on the weekend but I also use it if I do something nice for myself like a manicure or pedicure or buy myself a new workout outfit or whatever it is I decide to do.
If a person can handle it, I see nothing wrong with it but I do understand the implications of the word for a lot of people & how not using it may help.
For me, it just is another part of my overall health program & works for me…
Amen. I hate it..and the word ‘GOOD’ GAH! I used to, when I was dieting, use the word ‘treat’ all the time to justify binges and ‘going off plan’. I called Foodie out on it the other day when she referred to an ice cream sandwhich as a ‘splurge’. It’s interesting and wrapped in dieting for me. I really try not to put food into boxes anymore. Boxes are not helpful. Fluid should be fluid.
I hate the word splurge when used for food too. For me splurge is a word entirely connected to money and consumerism – not food. And I always find it strange when people who do use the word splurge use it for such common food items, it’s definitely a direct line into how they view the food they eat.
This is a great post. Very thought provoking. I am all about semantics on my journey. (Thus the use of that word!) I think it is smart to look at how we say things because that definitely can reflect how we value or perceive them. I am one who does label food in my mind as good and bad. And thinks about exceptions to my on plan eating as treats. But I don’t have a better word. They are not, to me, treats as in rewards. But treats as in something special or out of the ordinary foodwise. A splurge. I’d love a new word for it:)
Hmmm, lets spend some time thinking up new words. Time to get all Shakeperean. I’ll get back to you on this. ;)
I think you’re confusing “treat” and “reward”. As a noun, one of the primary meanings of “treat” is “anything that affords particular pleasure or enjoyment.” Treats are simply foods or other things that one especially enjoys. Often these are sweets, but it can be a nice bit of cheese, a cracker, or even a lovely piece of fruit. I can say that, “we had fresh pineapple with breakfast and it was such a treat.” In terms of the verb, all it means is to provide something special. “I treated myself to a facial”. “My friend treated me to birthday dinner.”
I use the word “treat” as a generic term for foods that I enjoy in moderation which provide special pleasure. These things aren’t rewards for anything. They are things I consume in small quantities on a daily basis for the pure pleasure of eating them. They are essentially, “non-instrumental foods”. Instrumental foods being those that are consumed primarily for their nutritive value which constitute the majority of my eating. That doesn’t mean that I don’t enjoy them as well (because I do), but rather that they don’t provide “particular pleasure.” I love homemade tomato soup, but it’s not a “treat”. However, “treats” are a different category as they tend to be things with no nutritive value. They are simply sensory delights.
At any rate, I think that rewarding oneself with food or for anything related to lifestyle choices is generally not a good idea. My sense is that we need to remove all sense of “good”, “bad”, “reward” or “punishment” from anything related to food or exercise. We’re not children looking for a pat on the head, an “A” on the report card, or a new toy for eating in a manner conducive to health and well-being. We’re adults looking to have a mature and satisfying relationship with food. For me, none of the usual ways of making myself eat properly are on the table – no bubble baths, no jewelry, no manicures, no new electronic toys. The whole notion of reward does not come into play, just as punishment does not.
I think we have to not look at the situation as one in which any sort of external reinforcement is a part of it. Otherwise, there is a risk that we will stop doing what is in our best interest once rewards (or punishment) are removed. We do it because the experience satisfies, and the results themselves and the ability to live your life as you desire (rather than in an out of control fashion) are the reward. I realize this is difficult for some people, but I think as long as “dessert” (and I use that word to mean things you feel you deserve, not sweet foods at the end of a meal) is a part of the process, we’re framing our relationship with food as one which isn’t intrinsically valuable and therefore requires some sort of external support structure to prop up “good behavior.”
That’s an interesting take on it.
I agree – food rewards can be a dangerous idea yes, but I’m not convinced that treats necessarily are. For me, a treat is something I don’t eat on a regular basis: like french fries, jamaican food, even mangoes.
Great post, Mary!
Good distinction, SFG. I think the word “treat” can mean both things…something special that you do for yourself, or it can also be interpreted as meaning a reward. I know when I was a child, my mom used the word “treat” to mean “reward”. A reward for cleaning up my room, or helping with the yard work, or babysitting my baby brother. And yes, a lot of times they were food related treats. It is quite possible, just as Mary has said, the reason why I started rewarding myself with food….then using food to cope…then using food for *everything* and ended up obese.
Nowadays, I do still reward myself for a job well done. But I try to not do it with food. For me, rewarding myself with a manicure or going to see a movie is about teaching myself to search out rewards other than food. When I do something well or I accomplish a goal, whether it’s weight-loss or healthy-living or otherwise, I enjoy rewarding myself. It makes my journey that much more enjoyable. Plus, I’m creating new habits like getting a new blouse that will make me feel pretty rather than downing a hot fudge sundae that makes me feel bad about myself right after I swallow the last bite.
As usual, good post Mary!
I use reward/punishment a lot when it comes to working out. Not so much punishment, but when I’m doing something that is tough (like running hill repeats), I try to think of my reward, i.e., why I’m doing it (to have a fast marathon time in a couple months). But there definitely is punishment too in a way — if I miss a bunch of speed targets one day, I might try to do a couple extra repeats the next time, just so I make sure I’m on track. A bad day is fine, but if I’m trying to improve and meet a goal, I can’t just accept poor performances all the time and not try to improve/correct.
Also, I wonder about thinking of foods as healthy/unhealthy, is that any different from good/bad? Any worse? I think that’s how I usually frame it, which is basically the same thing as good or bad. All food fall somewhere on the healthiness scale, with broccoli being pretty squarely healthy and something like alcohol or m&ms being pretty squarely unhealthy. But I don’t think I can’t eat unhealthy (or bad) foods, I just recognize that I’d probably die of scurvy if that’s all I ate, so the healthy needs to greatly outweigh the unhealthy.
Carina – another good point in regards to healthy/unhealthy. But those are more of a fact (like they have nutrients and things or they don’t) whereas labeling foods good/bad tends to get murky – even relatively benign things like bagels get labeled bad because they are “high calorie” or “bread.” I think the healthy/unhealthy labels tend to be better, but not perfect. The whole point is the mindset behind the person who is calling the food that and whether or not their labels cause them to alter their eating drastically or in unhealthy and unsustainable ways (like never ever eating “bad” food until they crack and binge).
SFG – You have a very good point. I know the distinction between the words but I was merely addressing the way it is most often used among people trying to lose weight. Treat and reward tend to be interchangeable within this group and that’s why I addressed the word that way. Rewards tend to be pretty common for people who want to lose weight and that’s a good thing, especially when they are rewards that reinforce the idea of taking care of one’s whole self.
I disagree that treat and reward are interchangeable. I often feel like people reward themselves when they don’t treat themselves to something they would otherwise enjoy.
I didn’t say that they are interchangeable – I don’t believe they are. I merely said it’s the way most people use the words/ideas.
I’m fine with those words as long as they are used appropriately… as in “It’s a real treat to have those homemade potatoes that we only eat at Christmas.” or “I’m splurging on this cheesecake for dessert.” Becasue the fact remains that I do not eat cheesecake or those potatoes every day. They are something that I consider a treat but not in the way the I feel I can’t have them.
The words I don’t like in regard to food are “good” and “bad” as in “Those Christmas potatoes are a treat but they’re so bad for you!” Um, NO. High calorie value? Rich? Yes, but bad, no.
I agree that it’s important to not label certain foods as “treats” or “good” or “bad”. What I find difficult is the mental reframing after a lifetime of using language like that. Culturally, it’s difficult as well. I feel constantly surrounded by the use of negative language around food. It’s difficult to change your own language, when the world persists against you.
Very good point about it being hard within the cultural context. Like I mentioned in my post, we all grew up with this. Treats is a word for food rewards, and foods are labeled good and bad all the time. Almost everyone uses the language and it is hard to think differently when EVERYONE speaks that way. I know the world isn’t going to change, but I’m going to try and at least change myself and my family. We’ll see how it goes. ;)
You know what other word I hate? Cheat.
Ditto.
Couldn’t agree more. Using food as a treat is a huge reason why I ended up with a weight problem in the first place. Food was my reward for good days and my consolation for bad days. I now realize that calling food “treats” makes it too easy for me to justify eating off plan. I may still eat those same things, but I have to work them into the plan rather than throwing them on top of everything else I’ve eaten which is defnitely what I would do if I thought of them as treats.
SO true! So called treats should be worked into a regular week. Real treats are teaching your body to love things like manicures or a new iTunes song or a good movie after a rough week. Treating yourself well instead of disrespecting yourself that food is the answer for a job well done is much more important.
Great posts. I guess I call things treats—but I mean, I dont have treats on special occasions–I just have them. But, I still call a cookie after lunch a “treat”.
I don’t know I use the word treat actually a lot. Usually meaning if good you get a treat, but a treat doesn’t always mean food, it could be something I have wanted for a long time or an outing or even an afternoon nap. I guess it depends on the context of where used and not using as a food reward.
I try not to use food as a reward for things. It’s a slippery slope for me and a habit a don’t want to start again.
Instead, I reward myself with things like shopping or a day of pampering! :)
It is a slippery slope.
A day of pampering sounds nice!
” Isn’t that good food treat enough? ”
YES !! awesome !! That is one thing I love about GOOD FOOD – real food, whole food, healthy food – is that it is so delicious that it IS a ” treat ” :)
…as much as taking better care is a treat.
Fantastic post – I LOVE it!
Hmm this is very interesting. I find myself really liking this concept and would love to say that I can agree with it and accept it but my reality is that I know certain foods are bad for me to eat- it’s more than just a label of “good food” vs. “food I’m not allowed to have;” it’s “nutritious food that will help be lose weight” vs. “food that is loaded with fat, sugar, calories, etc. but tastes really good but won’t help me get to where I’m going.” And if I’m going to have one of the latter options, I do view it as a treat because it’s something I don’t often have. I do think; however, that there has to be limitation on how often I “treat” myself because then it will end up being every day, like you mentioned. I also agree with you in that we should learn to find other ways to treat ourselves outside of food- I guess I just differ in thinking that regardless of the label we choose to put or not put on food, we know that some things are things we can eat often and others need to be a rarity- or treat.
Like I said, some people like the word treat and will always use it for their special foods or food rewards. That’s fine – we are all different. But at the very least you are noticing some of the important things like not letting it get out of hand and finding other ways to treat yourself well. :)
I agree with Cynthia about shifting your “treats” to non-food niceties. So many people have comfort food issues, it’s much more productive in my eyes to move to non-food rewards.
Having said that though, I’ve found that in a very structured healthy eating program, there is room for a cheat meal from time to time. I’ve found it much easier to deal with a controlled way of eating if I have a scheduled structured “cheat meal” from time to time. Obviously I don’t go hog wild and clean out an all you can eat buffet. But maybe I eat a meal that’s higher in carbs than normal or a little more fat than normal. Interestingly enough, I’ve found over the last year, that those cheat meals don’t taste as good and it’s easier to return to my clean eating habits. I’ve also found that I schedule those cheat meals less frequently.
I don’t want to sound like a diet purist either. If I take my kids for an ice cream treat ( what’s being a kid in the summer without ice cream) I will get something small. Even though I want my kids to grow up as adults with healthy eating habits, I don’t want them to swing to the opposite spectrum and be body image obsessed at a young age.
I’ve found my balance that works for me and my family and I hope that everyone else can find what works for them.
Comfort = food. True. Shifting to other comforting things beyond food is a good place to start.
I’m not on a very structured healthy eating program so I guess that’s why I don’t consider meals “cheat” meals. But for some people that’s an integral part of staying true to a plan. And if it works for them I’m not going to say anything because in the end it’s all about finding what works for you and running with it!
If your balance works well for you and your family then hurray! Balance is amazing and I think it’s good for kids and you. So good job Amy. :)
I love this post! It is so true – I have been trying to catch myself treating myself with food. I think a part of the problem for me is when I have had a hard day or have done something deserving of buying a “treat” I don’t have enough money to get a book or a new shirt or something, but sweets don’t cost much. I need to change my way of thinking about food as a reward, though, for sure.
Books from the library? Go for a refreshing walk? Listen to your favorite music? There are free things. :)
Oh, pffflt! (Did I spell that correctly?) :) I lost 100 pounds, treating and splurging all the way. Sure, it’s a semantics thing, but for folks like me, it’s also a chance to play and have fun as we shed our pounds or manage our weight. I’m entering my 2nd year at goal, and I plan to continue to treat and splurge my away along the good path. For whatever reason, it works for me.
Now ‘cheat’–that’s another story entirely. :)
LOL. You’re pro-treat/splurge but anti-cheat. Everyone has to find their own way and what works for one person doesn’t for another.
I definitely like to treat and take care of myself and, fortunately, most of those *treats* have nothing to do with food.
I can totally relate to this post. If you’ve been labeling foods “good” or “bad” or high calorie/junky foods as “treats’ your whole life then it’s really hard thought process to change. I’m really trying to find a good balance and enjoy everything in moderation because if I totally remove those types of food from my diet I eventually give in, binge and feel 10000000 times worse then if I would have just had a serving of the food.
I was reading the post and found myself totally disagreeing and gearing up for a comment about why. Then I read the rest of the comments (especially SFG’s) and your responses to them, and realized I was objecting to the WORDS you don’t like, rather than the IDEA you’re writing about.
Truth: Food is fuel. Some foods we enjoy more than others. Using food for pleasure is good and healthy. Using food to fill a “hole” created by some emotional “lack” in life is NOT healthy, and is what got many of us where we’re at.
Whether you use the words treat, splurge, indulgence, etc. or not – THOSE ideas are worthwhile for all of us as we navigate this “get healthy with food” business.
Thanks for a thought-provoking post!
Words are all we have to try and navigate these ideas. ;)
Well that was a great thought provoking post. The word “treat” seems to conjure up different emotions and thoughts for all of us.
I use to think I was “treating” myself with food as a reward for a difficult day or getting through a tough situation. I didn’t realize that since I was already over weight and unhealthy that I was really hurting myself more by feeding myself in that manner.
I now know that for me, “treating” myself with kindness and respect means that I feed myself healthy food that nourishes my body, I allow myself the time to exercise and do things that help promote my wellness.
I wrote a similar post today about momentary pleasure versus life long happiness. I guess many of us with weight issues are struggling with the right words to use and how to share this concept.
Thanks for sharing your view point.
I think we all deserve good things all the time, so the notion of a treat or reward as a once in a while thing doesn’t really make sense. (food, or otherwise). By doing that, youre saying youre only sometimes worth it. :)
i think this may be my most favourite post of your’s so far! i totally agree: we sholdn’t label food as good or bad, it’s like the forbidden fruit! once you know something is off limits, you just want it all the more. the only time i “treat” or “splurge” is one night a week when we go out for dinner. most days though – i just eat. i respect my body of course, but i don’t believe the two are mutually exclusive. :)
I have to say i both agree and disagree, a treat can be very harmful if as i found you have them regularly every week. But it is a monthly treat then maybe it can be a positive boost to self esteem and keep you motivated for your fat loss goals?
Oh geez, lol. I’m glad I’m your treat. :P
I guess it all depends on what sort of food you call ‘treat’. For example, sugar gives me headaches so I definitely don’t use that as a treat but a mango? Shoot. THAT’S a treat! The reason it’s a treat is because I love it but also because they’re expensive and I can’t always eat them.
I totally understand your point here though and now that you mention it it really is scandalous that we’re rewarded at a young age with candy. It doesn’t make much sense.
Well put. “Treat” makes me feel like a puppy waiting for kibble.
I object to the idea on every level. Loving yourself without food takes a lot of practice.
Sharing some link love on Sunday for this one!
It definitely takes practice and a lot of conscious effort to make big changes like this.
For me the word “Treat” it refers to food and drink but in a healthy way.
I agree to an extent, but basically for those who have had ‘issues’ with deprivation, overeating, etc. My husband uses the word ‘treat’ all the time, and he is the most intuitive eater I know. He has taken to referring to our after dinner square of dark chocolate as a ‘treat’ and it has actually made the ritual really fun and rewarding. In contrast to reminding me of deprivation or reward, it just helps us both savor it.
I definitely agree about finding other, non-food ways of rewarding yourself though…especially for those of us that tend to use any excuse (good or bad) to ‘treat’ ourselves!
I guess I just assume – perhaps wrongly so – that my audience is people who have these issues. I know they are what I struggle with and blog about so I just assume that people reading my blog have the same issues. For someone who has never struggled with weight or eating poorly these aren’t something that they even need to discuss or think about really. But for the rest of us who have overused food as a reward or comfort then it helps to think about these things and so we can move away from misusing food.
Oh yes, the moment I learned certain foods were “treats” and I only got them during certain situations. Those foods became the medication I used whenever I felt the slightest bit stressed/anxious/depressed instead of working through what I was feeling. It has taken a bit of time to unlearn this habit, in fact I’m still working on it, but I find when I treat myself with something non-food related I’m all around happier.
I totally agree with this. I have a 4 year old daughter and I never use food as a bribe or “treat”. I don’t want her to have the kind of relationship with food that I did (and still struggle with). She always talks about eating to make herself strong and healthy, and although she is allowed to have sweets sometimes, she knows they are things we don’t eat everyday. And at 4 years old, she’s okay with that. So I guess I should listen to my own advice. I’m teaching her correctly, and I’m slowly working on getting there myself.
Sure, it’s all semantics, but it has a huge impact on us (hurray rhetoric! I love rhetoric. Words rock my world).
I need to ponder this some more. I see what you’re saying, but I’m not sure how much I agree. I think you’ve made a good point and I’m trying to pinpoint just where my feelings about food as treats are, and whether they necessarily always have positive or negative implications. Hmm. Pondering!