Here’s some honesty for you: I’m stuck.
I want to step back on the scale and get back to weighing in regularly until I hit a healthier weight that starts with a 1 followed maybe a 6 or 7. I want to get back to actual weight loss now that I’ve got the time and ability to focus on my health completely.
But I’m not sure that is the best idea. At least not the scale part.
During my therapy for binge eating my therapist supported my avoidance of the scale before the wedding. I decided not to weigh in for a few months before the wedding after reading another blogger’s decision to do the same. In the end it was a smart idea because I didn’t worry about my weight at all during an already busy and stressful time in my life. I still ate well and exercised 5-7 times a week leading up to the wedding without knowing what my weight was. My therapist said weight didn’t matter because you either know you are doing the right things or you know you aren’t. I was doing all the right things so knowing my weight didn’t matter.
I was doing the right things without weighing in and those months in therapy and away from the scale helped me a lot in more fully conquering the binge eating I’ve struggled with on and off for years. Today I’ve been binge free for months. I haven’t been binge eating or abusing myself with food. My relationship with food is a lot healthier now and for that I’m grateful.
My therapist suggested in our last session that I should continue to stay off the scale. I should continue to not weigh myself because it wouldn’t help me accomplish my goals of being healthier.
I was fully prepared to do as she said. I don’t know what I weighed at my wedding. I don’t know what I weighed in the weeks after. But I noticed in the last week or two as I’ve been trying to get back into a fitness routine that without a wedding to prepare for I haven’t been very motivated. I’ve been feeling slumptastic because there is nothing to push me to work hard to lose more weight. Without any goals or motivation I’ve let the post wedding indulgent eating continue longer than it should have and not been exercising as much as I could have.
Sure losing and keeping off 40 pounds is great, but I could stand to lose another 40. I want to lose another 40. I do. But how do I motivate myself to do that now? My thoughts are to hop on the scale and start tracking allowing the number be a motivator. I could set goals like losing ten pounds by the end of the year and reward myself with things I want. This would most likely work but I’m having trouble committing to it because of my therapist’s recommendations not to use the scale.
Basically I’m stuck. With conflicting desires about where I want to go from here, I’m not sure what to do. I know weight isn’t the only indicator of health. Actually by all accounts I’m rather healthy (just ask my doctors!) and strong even at this weight. But I know I’d prefer to lose weight before eventually one day getting pregnant and starting a family so there are less risks involved. I’m just unsure of how to motivate myself right now to do something that will benefit me *one day* in the future, especially with the consideration of what my therapist mentioned and not using the scale.
To weigh or not to weigh? That’s what I’ trying to figure out now along with how to motivate myself to really get this thing finished after enough stalling and time passing without falling back into binge eating and other bad behaviors. I don’t have answers right now, but I’m hoping to soon.
I finally had to give up the scale. My weight wasn’t moving because of medications but I was healthier and my clothes were fitting better. Instead I give myself other goals (number of workouts a week, tracking my food) as a reward towards something I need/want. I bought some new workout clothes for my last goal.
That’s a good way to do it. Maybe I’ll focus on workouts per week or something similar. I’m just still undecided.
First, you don’t need to know what you weigh to lose weight. It helps in figuring out calorie intake, but if you consume 1200 calories and workout daily then you will lose weight. Losing weight really is about calorie in/calorie out. Healthy eating is important to get the adequate nutrients your body needs and you can get that by sticking to whole grains, veggies, fruits and a lean protein choice such as beans (or meat.)
I once weighed almost 300 pounds and am down to about 225 at the moment and losing about 2 pounds a week. I tend to think that we will find things to hang on as excuses as to why we aren’t losing what we want to. So, is the scale your excuse? Throw the darn thing away. Then get back to the basics. Calorie in, calorie out. Also, focus a lot on the types of food you are eating and find out if you are eating too much protein, too much fat, or too much carbs.
I have learned that the more you stall the more pounds will seem to slip back on. A pound here, a pound there, and next thing you know you have lost ground and then you have to relose what you worked so hard to get to.
Finally, if you don’t have a number goal, then perhaps you need a fitness goal or a nutritional goal. Run another triathlon or pledge to home cook all of your meals for a month.
Stay committed for yourself because you are worth it, not for your husband or for any other reason.
Thanks for the comment Wendy and congrats on your success so far!
For me stalling hasn’t meant the pounds slipping back on. Stalling has been just that – stalling. I’ve stayed within the same five pounds around a certain number (at least before I stopped weighing so I’m not sure about now but I’m guessing I’m probably still in that range).
You are right in the fact that I need a goal. I guess my problem right now is that I can’t decide on the goal… whether it’s a triathlon or a number or nutrition (probably not that one at the moment). Not having goals seems to be a big problem for me and in trying to figure a goal out the scale was one option that seemed good … but not good. I probably make no sense to you but it makes sense in my head. ;)
Thanks again for the comment and support!
I should have titled this post: I NEED A GOAL.
I just can’t figure out what goal to set regarding healthiness/weight loss.
I quit weighing because it made me crazy. I haven’t weighed in months, yet my clothes sizes are going down. Today, I had to weigh at the doctor. I wasn’t happy with the number. But I’m going to forget about it, because I am following my plan and the clothes just keep getting looser and looser. Just seeing that number today and panicking about it was enough to convince me I had made the right decision by not weighing in regularly.
I love your comment that you know whether you are doing well or not and don’t need a scale to show that. That’s amazingly insightful and… well, I could stand to take that to heart.
At the same time, I certainly understand what you mean about needing some external motivators. And let’s be honest – seeing that number drop can be pretty sweet.
Ideally, I would like to be in a place where I can see the number and not assign it any importance beyond the fact that it is a measure. Question is – how do we get there?
It sounds like you are feeling conflicted as to whether or not to use the scale as a motivator. I assume the reason your therapist recommends avoiding the scale is because it was contributing to binge eating and/or body image, which would mean the scale is a setback for weight loss. But then you say that you could use those numbers as a motivator for weight loss. So, I would maybe evaluate that a little bit more, if you think it would be a positive or negative thing for you. I know for me, the scale is only a motivator when I lose weight. When I gain, especially if I don’t like the number week after week, I find myself seeking comfort in the arms of a chocolate bar.
Perhaps what you could do is only weigh yourself every 6 months or so, that way you have a general idea of how much you weigh, but the number isn’t as important as other aspects of progress, like your pants size, how you feel, how strong you are, etc.
I like the idea of setting up some new nutrition, fitness, and personal goals, and working towards those. And not just any goals, things that you really really want to do, so you are constantly motivated to keep working towards them and have the discipline and drive to do them.
I just realized my comment may have sounded too serious and preachy. My apologies! I love your blog, Mary! I do hope you let us all know what you decide to use as a motivator, and what your goals will be!
It’s fine. I didn’t find your comment preachy at all. And thanks!
I think my therapist approached weight loss and the scale as the scale is NEVER a good thing (a lot of her patients deal with anorexia) and it’s a standard thought in her view on things that the scale in no good. Personally it wasn’t what contributed to my binge eating (that was from a whole other source) which is why I’m considering using the scale as a motivator. I never once have binged because of gaining weight/seeing a higher number on the scale. Personally it doesn’t bother me much what I weigh anymore since it’s always less than what I once weighed (yay) but I can see why she also suggested that it might be a good idea to keep off the scale since while it doesn’t really bother me it doesn’t necessarily help me much either.
I actually like your idea of weighing in every few months. I might adopt that idea so I’m still tracking and can use it as a motivator just not as often as I did before. Might do that! And yeah… I need to figure out some other goals, I’m just at a place where mentally I’m like “what should I do? what do I WANT to do? what should my goals be?” I’ve gotta figure that out.
I love the idea of weighing every few months. I weigh in once a month and it feels kind of freeing. I like seeing the numbers go down, but I don’t want that to be my focus. I don’t want to feel badly if I have a calorie-laden weekend and end up gaining two pounds on Monday morning. Like Colleen said, it’s only a motivator if the numbers go down. I like to think that I’m setting myself up for success by only weighing once a month–the likelihood of gaining is much smaller than it is week to week–and I enjoy the little boost that seeing the numbers go down give me.
Also, by weighing in once a month (or once every few months), you’re not using the scale as the measure of progress to the degree you were before. You’re still letting your health be measured by things other than the scale but using the scale as a back up, kind of like the smaller clothes were before. You’ve just reversed your way of thinking. Instead of “Yay! Today I weigh 170 pounds and P.S. now these pants fit!” it’s “These pants fit! I can run a mile in 47 seconds because I am a gazelle! And hey! I weigh 170 pounds but that hardly matters because I AM SUCH A BADASS.”
uh….just count your calories and exercise. You do the right thing, and it will come off. I think your therapist has a leg up on these kinds of things. Don’t think of it as motivation or no motivation..just do it. You can do it. Hugs.
I would not suggest you pressure yourself or go back to habits that feel familiar but did not have healthy outcomes for you. You will figure out NEW ways of being. Personally, I like setting longer term fitness goals. If you continue to challenge yourself physically (escalating your work outs as you get fitter) and eating healthy food and portions, the weight will come off.
I understand completely how you feel. I haven’t stepped on the scale in a few weeks and the good thing is, I haven’t thought much of my weight. I definetely worried less. Bad thing is, I did gain weight. A lot. I just had no other motivation strong enough to keep me going. That’s why I, personally, need the scale. I set up goals a few days ago and ever since, I haven’t felt the need of “taking a few days off of weight loss” (as I did before, while not stepping on the scale).
Don’t get me wrong, I admire everyone who doesn’t need the scale to keep up on losing weight, but for me, it just doesn’t work. I prefer seeing the results on the scale every week rather than waiting for my pants to get loose, because I am really impatient ;) My aim is not needing the scale anymore after I reach my goal weight, because eating healthy should have become a routine at this point. But until then, while I’m still working on it and really do want to lose weight, I need motivation.
I hope you’ll find the solution that fits best for you and your situation right now.
P.s. sorry for my bad English. Greetings from your reader in Switzerland :)
Thank you for stopping in from Switzerland! I really enjoyed your country when I visited. :)
To scale or not to scale is definitely a tricky one! I usually like to weigh myself semi-regularly (eg, every fortnight) otherwise I tend to lose focus, give myself a few too many free passes and start going backwards. When the numbers are dropping its certainly a great motivator! But when they aren’t, or, even worse, when the numbers are going up, I really really struggle to stay on track.
At the moment I’m in a funny situation – I’m trying to lose another 5kgs by the end of the year, and I’ve been doing great with exercise and pretty well with food, I’m FEELING great, and definitely toning and looking smaller (several people have said so) but the scale is going UP!!! Its so frustrating. Normally this would completely derail me but I’m trying really hard to concentrate on the good things, rather than the number on the scale. As your therapist said, “you either know you are doing the right things or you know you aren’t” and right now, I KNOW I am doing things right, and just have to TRUST that the scale will reflect this in the next few weeks
So sorry, I’m not sure I actually helped with your dilemma at all but maybe a good idea would be to get in a really good routine first (exercise, eat healthy etc), give yourself a few other non-scale goals and then weigh yourself in a month or so, and then every next month or so (just to keep yourself honest!) but mainly focus on other indicators and goals as your main motivation :)
Personally if you are looking better and feeling better and the scale is going up I wouldn’t worry about it. If you are doing strength training it could be muscle and though you weigh more you will look better. Seriously, it works like that sometimes which is why the scale isn’t totally reliable. But yeah, don’t put too much into it!
Im the queen of the NSV focus.
Now that Im working to maintain AND when I was working to lose.
It just works for me.
I have lost approx. 53 lbs since I started my weight loss journey. I weigh myself weekly — it is a requirement as I am with Weight Watchers and that is how they measure your progress. The scale is usually not the reason for my downfall, but there have been times when I would weigh myself too much, like in the middle of the week to see my progress and see little progress and I would feel like what is the point and give up halfway through the week…. Easy solution to that though is to stop weighing in during the middle of the week and that has solved that problem for me!
If getting on the scale is not going to cause you binge eat if you see a gain when you are expecting a loss, which can happen for a number of reasons, then by all means hop on the scale. As a previous commenter suggested, if you don’t want to weigh yourself weekly, you can weigh yourself every two weeks or once a month or less. Since you are also working out and strength training I would also encourage you to take your measurements and track those as well!
I am sure whatever you decide, it will be the best for you. Good luck!!
Congrats on your weight loss so far Angie!
I do take measurements but I don’t post them on the blog (not sure why but I never have?). I do that every three months or so unless I forget. ;)
If the scale disturbs you, stay off it. If you feel it would motivate you, and not make you neurotic, use it. I find it too easy to be in denial without it, and it’s somewhat nice to have a real goal, rather than just an amorphous idea to lose some weight. Maybe find a pair of pants you want to fit into, make that your goal. That seems more solid to me than a random number some 40 pounds away (or 10 for me, by now). The scale is nice because it provides feedback, but as some have said, it’s not entirely reliable, especially if you’re one to gain muscle (which I am not)
I am a muscle gainer, apparently. I’m not sure what I weigh but I have significantly more muscle now than I did when I stopped weighing a few months ago. I can actually see my biceps and other muscles now. It’s… interesting. ;)
I want so much to be a help to you, and most of the time you are a help to me, but when I stopped thinking about losing weight for your wedding and just kept myself really busy and ate three meals a day and stopped eating after 6p.m. Well the weight just left, don’t know when even, just woke up one morning looking for clothes to wear to work that did not fall off me.
I sometimes think, you think too much, and all that effort you put into your weight is what keeps you from consentrating on living. You are the most beautiful loveing child and you deserve to live without the stress of losing, the world is in such a mess right now that most people our stressed beyond the measure they can cope, so put your efforts into eating right (knowing some do not have that luxury) and enjoying the exercise you can get on a island in the sun. Enjoy your new life, and focus only on that, and the grandbaby you are going to give me, that should be inspiration enough for anyone, mom to be a grandma!!!!!!
I loveeeee You and want to be a help to you, but this is up to you, just live baby and let the rest take care of itself.
Mom
Yep you are better at weight loss then me. :P I love you but your comment was a bit silly. I actually don’t put that much effort into my weight which is why I haven’t lost any in a while. I do put effort into exercise and eating healthy because regardless of weight those are the things that keep me HEALTHY and are important to do. I don’t think doing those things means I don’t concentrate on living. But we don’t always see eye to eye and that’s okay. :)
Love ya!
Mary, I might not be the popular answer here but all studies show that if you lose weight for a particular occasion only like a wedding or reunion or party or vacation, it tends not to stay off. The key is to motivate yourself for long term weight loss & why you want to do that & how it will make you feel better, be able to do more, avoid health issues or whatever that is that will motivate you long term. Maybe make some short & long term goals that you know are things for the long haul.
If you can lose without the scale, do it! Find a pair of pants & a top that will help you know the fit as you lose weight. Only you can do this for you & finding that inner mojo is different for each of us.
Yeah, if you need a goal, then a weigh in may be necessary. The reason you weren’t weighing in before was because what you were doing was working…..you were feeling great, motivated and strong. Now that you need a goal, a weigh in can help. Go for it!
I’ve lost almost four stone (don’t know what that is in pounds – i’m old school!) and weighing myself really helped. It was a great motivator whilst I lost the weight (whether it was a gain or a loss) and I still find it motivating now that i’m maintaining. In saying that though I only weigh myself once a month and I don’t own scales I go into a local chemist to do it. I think if you have scales at home there is the temptation to do it every day and become obsessed about it. I also found that writing the weight down or getting a print out of it really helped – there was something about seeing that figure in black and white! So I think it can be really helpful, although I wouldn’t use that as the sole motivator – just one of them.
And just a little aside as I dont usually comment – loving your blog! Your wedding looked awesome and so much fun – thanks for sharing!
Congrats on losing four stone! I don’t know what that is in pounds either but it sounds impressive!!
Thanks for the sweet comments about my blog. :)
I watch a lot of British tv:
1 stone is 14 pounds
4 stone is 56 pounds
Congrats on your weight loss Caz!!
I’m pretty sure someone already suggested this but make a chart of how many days you ate healthy and how many workouts out got in. There’s noting more motivating that to see stickers or stamps on a full chart. I would also take measurements once a month instead of using the scale.
This is going to sound silly, but OMG STICKERS!!!
I almost bought a book of cute owl stickers the other day but didn’t because I thought I would have no place to use them. But if I had a chart that required the use of stickers, I could buy them until my heart was content. I seriously didn’t think about doing anything like that but the five year old inside me is really excited. Thanks!
I’ve actually been thinking of the same thing recently… I’m still not sure. I guess I don’t like the idea of being motivated by numbers – it feels too external, somehow – but it’s nice to track progress that way, especially if you have a huge amount of weight to lose, like me. I’m going to have to ponder this some more.
Don’t worry all your questions will be answered soon. My only advise is to take it slowly. Plan it carefully and have a strong mindset in achieving your goal. Good luck! I know you can make it!
I’m a bit late to the game on this one but have you thought about getting a scale that shows what you have lost rather than the total amount you weigh? I think there are a couple of different models out there, the two I have seen reviewed on other blogs are the zero scale and the quantum scale (apologies if I’m inadvertently giving them free advertising).
You still won’t know what your weight is but you can track and see the benefits of all your hard work:)