Today I posted about being able to wear a pair of jeans that I’ve owned for years and have never even worn once. It was thrilling to try them on and realize that even though they were a little too tight they were finally wearable. It’s a sign that the things I have been doing lately are paying off.
My awesome friend posted “Non Scale Victory?” as a reply to my initial comments.
While I’ve used the phrase before, it elicited a strong negative response in me this time that I wasn’t expecting.
I didn’t consider wearing those jeans a victory because I don’t consider myself doing battle. I’m not waging war against my fat. I’m not a warrior in the gym fighting my body. In fact, I dislike any warrior related words regarding this area of my life.
I know I’m probably in the minority here and lots of people love this kind of terminology. There are rebellions and warriors and ninjas and beasts in the gym waging war against fat. I get it. However, for me, it just doesn’t fit.
Right now my mind is focused more on self-care. These words and philosophies of a warrior mentality don’t mesh with that focus. I’m not fighting my body – I’m taking care of it. I’m not beating myself to lose weight – I’m exercising to take care of myself so that I feel better and don’t struggle with anxiety.
I’m taking care of myself because I fucking deserve it.
I’m treating myself right because if anyone should, I should.
I don’t want to approach any part of this as a war or battle against myself where they are failures and victories (because failures always come with victories in battle).
It is great to celebrate the highlights and good things that happen. You better believe I’m proud of the hard work I’ve been putting in and wearing those jeans was a highlight of my day that has already been recorded in my gratitude journal. It was an awesome thing!!
Ultimately I just don’t want to use the terminology that puts my mind into a war where I’m on both sides as a winner and loser. Maybe I’ve just been through too much therapy and written too much about wars (the joys of being a history major). These words just don’t appeal to me. It’s semantics and it’s silly, but today it felt like it mattered.
Since I don’t really pay attention to the scale anymore it’s not like I need non-scale victories. I don’t need victories at all. I just need to consistently take care of myself like I deserve. That’s what I’m doing and right now that is all I need.
I guess I’ve never thought of it that way. But then again, I’ve never thought of it as fighting against myself. When I hear that… Non Scale Victory it’s always sounded positive to me. I’ve always thought of it as a word that celebrates breaking out of the boundaries of the constrictions we’ve previously put on ourselves. I never thought of it as ‘war’. And even if I were thinking of a warrior, when a warrior goes into battle, he isn’t battling himself but the bad ideas, controls, and horrors of the world. So when someone says they are fighting a ‘battle’, I never thought of them fighting themselves but rather the demons that controlled them, their own personal horrors, the bad ideas out in the world that somehow had stormed the walls of their mind. But I guess I can see how that term could be taken the other way. Maybe you can come up with other terms to use. They can be your own personal reward words and you can spread them around because if you felt negative with them, there may be others, too.
Semantics – an individual choice and to me, very essentially who I am. I see where you are on this, though hadn’t had that feeling about it myself. Roll on, lady! You’re astute and clever — and uniquely yourself. What’s better than that?
True. Thanks Suzy!
I never thought about it that way before but I completely see your point. your post reminded me of a cancer patient who said much the same thing. That she hated when people put it in terms of war. That she was ‘battling’, ‘fighting’, etc her cancer. She said it didn’t make her feel strong, it actually made her feel weak.
I actually kind of don’t like the war terms either. When you’re doing everything right but the weight isn’t coming off you do feel like you’re losing, failing. I’m trying to look at it more in terms of every healthy choice I make for myself is a step in the right direction regardless of what the scale is doing.
I guess whatever terms work for you because putting it terms of war seems to be the most popular way to refer to it.
Oh my gosh! That’s an awesome way of thinking about it. I guess that victory implies that there is also the possibility of losing and you’re right – it’s not a battle and there is no war. You are doing it for yourself and what other reasons do you need!
Great post!
Hi Mary!
I just love reading this post of yours. I tend to agree with you that we really need to take good care of our body because we deserve it. We also need to treat our self right.
I am SOOOOOO with you on this. I am so tired of the “war” analogies when it comes to our bodies and health.